#divorcestory

Sometimes the very thing you have prayed for looks nothing like what you imagined. I prayed for a beautiful life. I did not know it would be 3000 miles away in New York. For years I shared pieces of my story. But not the whole truth. When I finally did, in the pages of HONEST, something finally broke. The truth I had been carrying set me free. Free enough to exist in this world as me, the real…

When I wrote my memoir, I had no idea the most honest chapter would come after it was published. My landlord gave me a 60-day notice that he wanted to sell my home after my lease ended in June. There is a very long story to go with what happened next. A story I plan on telling in the days to come. But for now, all you need to know is this. Everything happens exactly as it is supposed to. Nothing…

I have literally lived through every single one of my worst fears. And guess what? I survived them all. Yes, I have a smile on my face. Yes, my thoughts are positive, peaceful, grounded. If you looked at my life from the outside right now, you would be thinking: what is going on? I cannot fully explain the freedom I feel. The peace of being untethered to everything. Of having no idea what…

Honest take. The hardest part of rebuilding is no longer replaying the highlight reel of the past. The good moments. The early years. The trips. The Christmas mornings. The version of life that worked, before it stopped working. Nobody warned me how often I would try to understand by replaying and rehearsing scenarios. The negative aspects justified the departure. The good parts made me wonder if…

I had planned to see a Balinese healer on the day of my wedding anniversary. For years my body had been accustomed to leaving the country on that date. Travel had become muscle memory. This time, I wanted the day to belong to me. When I arrived for the session, the healer asked me not to overexplain. He looked at me with quiet attentiveness and spoke in a way that felt less like instruction and…

I have been singing since I had memory. I sat there the other day and realized that I have gone from singing every single week to singing to myself in the shower. Part of me felt sad about it. The other part of me felt peace, because I trust that God does work all things together for our good. And in that moment, I realized that all is well. This journey of mine did not come without sacrifice,…

Honest take. Talking about the healing journey does not equal healing. I spent years talking about my healing journey on the internet. Early on, saying it out loud was the first step to becoming it. I was in the middle of it. Still terrified. Still performing. A lot of us are doing this. Talking about healing as a way of reaching for it. Talking is part of the work. And sometimes healing requires…