- allowing toxic people to drain your energy 

- saying yes when you really want to say no 

- putting yourself down when you’re trying your best 

- taming down your personality for the comfort of others 

Disclosure 🚨🚨: This, just like everything else I write, is my own personal opinion, thought, or idea.

I feel as though if someone is “over” a former flame, significant other, or friend even; they’re done with them, finished, kaput.

Not oh, I’m going to write these rude poems or messages talking about their feelings toward this person or persons. That makes me think that maybe there’s unfinished business or bad blood somewhere down the line regardless of how “civil” the departure seemed to end up.

My other question regarding this is, if one is in a relationship of sorts and are engaged to this person, completely separate from the people being written about, why are nasty poems and messages written about the people they used to care about if they are supposedly “over” them? It makes no sense to me. This is just me, but if you’re completely in love and comfortable with your significant other, then your exes should be the farthest thing from your mind. But if you keep bringing up the past, that to me screams UNRESOLVED ISSUES. Take it from someone who is constantly thinking about past mistakes: it’s not easy to forget about the past, but if you’ve always got it in the back of your mind, how could you possibly be content with how your life is now if you haven’t made peace with what has happened? I know people can be pretty horrible, but if you want to be completely happy with your current situation, just be it. Don’t let your past define how you approach your future. Use it as a guideline as to what not to repeat, yes, but constantly rehash it and fake out a facade to your significant other? That’s dicey.

I guess I’m just having a problem understanding it. Admittedly I’m writing this whole post about someone I used to be friends with and the first person I was truly in love with but still....

Yes, I hurt him. No, it was not intentional or anything to want to go off the deep end about. I hardly think of him anymore. I just want him to be happy, move on, and be able to work through any and every obstacle he contends with.

Long story short, this guy I used to go to college with and I became close after he and his girlfriend broke up (not related to my friendship with him). We were really good friends who would talk everyday, hang out every now and then, and could tell each other everything. At one point or another early on in our friendship, things got weird. He liked me more than I liked him a little too soon. I didn’t know how to tell him. We were distant for a while...mostly on my end. Eventually we talked about it extensively and things were fine...or so I thought. Fast forward a couple years into our friendship and he wants to date me, I’m still hesitant because he’s a really good friend and I wouldn’t want to lose him if we broke up. I try explaining, he seems to understand but is still hurt. At that point in my life, I was very unsure of what I wanted, who I was, where I wanted to go with my path of self discovery, not to mention I was stressed and recently diagnosed as depressed. I was overwhelmed with life in general. True, he was the first person I fell truly in love with but as much as it pained me to admit it, I couldn’t be with him as much as he wanted to be with me. He ended our friendship by cutting me out of his life, period. No explanation, no nothing. Just done-ski. I was thoroughly confused. He basically gave me an ultimatum as a last resort, I think, that if we couldn’t date then we couldn’t be anything. You can imagine what I chose. Now he just writes rude, “unassuming” poems regarding our past and other’s he’s been with as well. Even though I’m positive some of the others he has been with, especially the one right before his current, hurt him way worse than I did. But that’s just my take on it.

Growing up is tough, especially when everybody else seems to be in a better place than you. You’re trying to cope with studying or work - maybe even both, while simultaneously juggling friendships, the highs and lows of relationships, breakups, family drama and dealing with rejection - all the while while trying to learn from any mistakes along the way. 

You can often feel under immense pressure to be achieving all of this while benchmarking yourself against your mates and how they seem to be sailing through life smashing one goal after another - let’s not forget all the inspiring people you follow on Insta. Stop. Breathe. 

Take it from us, it’s all an illusion and you’re definitely doing so much better than you think you are. Better than just okay but you might not be able to see it right now. Take a minute to think; are the goals you’re chasing yours and what you really want from life? Or a template of what you think you should be achieving based on what the media may be telling you? You’re doing amazing in your own right. Don’t believe us? Read on for 18 ways to prove that you’ve got this.