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Pairing: Past!Steve Rogers X Reader, Bucky Barnes X Reader
Summary: After Bucky gets âtakenâ on a mission gone wrong, Steve blames you for it, casting you out. HYDRA takes advantage of your vulnerable state and is quick to capture you, the team knowing nothing of anything thatâs happened.
A/n: All done yâall. God, I'm kinda upset that this series is over! Here you go, the final instalment of Distrust.
Edited Poorly
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
~*~
âYouâll be back soon, right? Itâs not gonna be a hard mission or anything?â Bucky smiles down at you, cupping your cheeks in his large hands.
âOf course. It shouldnât be more than two days, tops. Then Iâll be back home with you.â You smile and press yourself up onto your toes, kissing his lips gingerly.
âEw! Thatâs gross!âÂ
You pull away with a giggle and look over your shoulder to where your four-year-old daughter stands with her arms crossed over her chest.
âReally? You think itâs gross when I kiss mommy?â Charlotte nods and runs over to the two of you.
âDaddyâs going again?â She asks, hugging your legs and looking up at the two of you. âOnly for two days. But thatâs gonna be the last time for a while.â She smiles brightly, brown eyes sparkling.
âIâll miss you this much!â She spreads her arms as wide as she can and your heart warms.
âReally?! That much? Wow, I must be important for you to miss me that much.â She nods vigorously, squealing as he scoops her up in his arms and tosses her into the air once then tickles her sides.
âDaddy! Daddy sto-o-o-op!â You smile lovingly at the pair, not bothering to look away when Bucky catches your gaze.
âI gotta get going, sweetheart. I promise when I get back Iâll take you and mommy out for ice cream.â She gasps and hugs him tightly.
He wraps one arm around her back then wraps the other around you, pulling you into a hug with him. âI love you, (Y/n).â You smile and kiss his lips gently, âI love you, Bucky.â
He pulls away reluctantly and sets Charlotte on her feet. âOkay ladies, Iâll see you on Friday. Iâll call or video chat tonight. Tell me what happens at your doctor's appointment tomorrow, okay?â You squeeze his hand and smile.
âOf course. Now go, before Nat takes your head off.â He chuckles and kisses your cheek once then hurried out the door.
âHey, mommy? Can we watch movies and eat Chinese food? The kind that daddy doesnât like?â You smooth down her raven hair and nod. âOf course. What do you wanna watch?â She shrugs, running over to the couch and plopping down in Buckyâs usual spot.
You sit down next to her and put the TV on while grabbing your phone, letting Lottie pick a movie as you order food.
~
âMommy?â Charlotte asks as the two of you lie down in the bed you and Bucky share.
âYes, Lottie?â She puts her thumb in her mouth, a nervous tick she has.
âWhy didn't my bio...biological mommy want me?â You hug her tightly to your body and kiss the tip of her head. âI bet she did, she was probably just scared. But she wanted you. And because she gave you up, youâre here with your daddy and I. Out of all those kids, we picked you because we knew you were the one we wanted. Youâre our Charlotte and we love you with all of our hearts. We wouldnât ever want a different little girl.â
She sniffles and clings to you tightly. âIâm glad youâre my mommy.â You feel a wave of pride wash through you and you kiss the crown of her head.
âIâm glad Iâm your mommy too.â
You remember when you and Bucky decided to adopt her. A year into your serious relationship, a year and a half into your outpatient recovery. You decided together that you were ready for this. And it was one of the best decisions of your life.
~
âWell, (Y/n). Youâre in excellent health.â You smile at Doctor Cho, eyes flashing over to where Lottie is colouring absentmindedly at the desk.
âIâm just gonna check your blood, routine and everything.â You nod, closing your eyes for a moment.
âAre you still sick, mommy?â You look at Lottie and smile. âNot super sick, baby. Mommyâs tummy just hurts a little bit.â Doctor Cho looks up at you. âYouâre sick?â You shrug, scratching your arm nervously.
âI threw up last night and this morning. Pretty sure itâs just the Chinese food from last night. Buckyâs always telling us we should eat less of it.â She purses her lips and nods, looking back at her computer as she waits for the results of your blood test.
âDaddy comes home tomorrow!â Lottie exclaims, suddenly remembering.
âYes, he does. And weâre gonna celebrate and be happy and eat ice cream and drink smoothies and eat pancakes and waffles for dinner!â She giggles, âbreakfast for dinner? Thatâs silly!â You smile at her as she resumes colouring.
â(Y/n)... Your blood test is different than expected. And I think I know the reason for your sickness.â Your stomach drops. You have an idea of what sheâs gonna say, and that idea terrifies you.
âNo. I... I canât be. There... the damage to my uterus was too extensive, wasnât it?â She shakes her head and grabs a paper from your file.
âYour uterus healed mostly. Permitting you to potentially have children. And from the looks of things... youâre-â âdonât say it.â She looks down solemnly.
âBut itâs the truth. You can decide what youâd like to do with it and let me know. If you want to abort, Iâll have it done promptly. But Iâd advise discussing it with Mister Barnes first. Just think about it for a moment, alright?â You nod hesitantly, your stomach churning.
âHereâs your results. If youâd like another scan or an ultrasound, we can have that arranged. But wait until James is home to make a decision because I want someone with you if you decide you donât want to keep it.â You nod again and stand up, taking the file from her and grabbing Lottieâs hand.
âDrive safely, (Y/n). And please, consider everything.â You nod for a third time then walk out of the office with Lottie at your side, wide-eyed and oblivious to the life-changing news youâve just received.
~
âHello?â Bucky waits for an answer.
âDaddy? It⌠Itâs mommy. Sheâs... sheâs crying in the bathroom. Sheâs been in there f-for a long time and I-Iâm scared.â Bucky jumps up and starts quickly packing his things.
âOkay, Lottie. I want you to call Uncle Tony. Iâll be home in a few hours and then Iâll help mommy, okay?â âOkay, daddy. Is-is mommy okay?â Bucky tosses his bag over his shoulder and looks at Nat and Clint.
âYes baby, Iâm sure momâs fine. But call uncle Tony just to be sure. I gotta go now bay. Call me if anything else happens okay?â She sniffles and her voice wavers, âokay daddy.â
He hangs up and rushes to the door of the motel. âIs (Y/n) okay?â Nat asks. Bucky takes a deep breath and bites his bottom lip. âI fucking hope so.â
~
You hold your legs to your chest and cry softly into your knees, unsure what to do as you stare at the positive pregnancy test.
â(Y/n)? You in here?â The door opens and Tony walks in, Bucky a few steps behind him.
âI-I...â you trail off as Bucky drops to his knees beside you, carefully pulling you into his chest.
âWhat is it?â You look up at him with teary eyes. âIâm pregnant.â
The entire room stops as you whisper the dreaded words out loud.
âOh god.. (Y/n)...â Bucky kisses the top of your head and Tony rubs his eyes, unsure what to do.
âMommy? A-are you okay?â Lottie asks from the doorway.
âLottie, your mommy-â you cut Tony off, âcâmere baby. Mommy just needs a hug. Sheâs got a booboo and just wants hugs from you and daddy.â Lottie runs into the room and jumps into your arms, hugging you tightly. Bucky rocks the three of you back and forth slowly, calming you down and easing your anxiety.
~
âHave a good day at daycare, baby! Uncle Tony is gonna pick you up and bring you to the park after too!â Lottie smiles and grabs Tonyâs hand, letting him pull her to his sports car.
When they drive away, you turn to Bucky, your hands shaking wildly.
âSo... youâre pregnant.â You nod hesitantly. His arms wrap around your frame and he kisses the top of your head.
âIf you donât want to keep it, you donât have to. I know... how hard itâll be for you. I know how hard... it was. So if you donât want to keep it... if you canât keep it... Iâll support you. The decision is entirely up to you and nothing will change that. Itâs your body, so itâs your choice.â
Tears stream down your cheeks and you hug him tightly.
âA part of me... a part of me wants this baby. But I know how hard the pregnancy will be on my body. I know how hard itâll be on my mind and stuff. So, I donât know if I can do it. I kinda want to, but Iâm not sure if I can handle it.â
He kisses your temple and then your cheek. âThink it over. Just know Iâll be here for you through every single decision you make.â
You pull out of his embrace and bite your bottom lip, thinking about what to do.
âWell... I mean Iâm sure Doctor Cho could help me with any complications... but I donât even know... nine months? God, I promised myself I would never have kids after Sarah. I...â Bucky takes your hands in his and kisses each finger gently.
âYou have Lottie. We have Lottie. If you donât want to have this baby then donât. If we really want another kid, we can adopt another one. I donât want you to strain your recovery, your body, or your emotions for a baby that you donât want.â You sniffle and look up into his eyes.
âHeâs affecting me, even now,â you whisper. He kisses your cheek then rests his forehead against yours.
âThe decision is yours. Iâm not going to tell you what to do or what not to do because this is totally and one hundred percent up to you.â
You take a deep breath in and nod. âSarah... was my first daughter. My first child. And sheâll never be forgotten by me. Iâll always remember her. But she was a child meant for a different woman and a different man. The old me and Steve. I canât help but wonder what it would be like to have a baby for you. With you. I mean, Lottie could use a sister or brother... but fuck. I just don't know!â
He holds your hands in his again and silences you with a kiss. âNo one's saying you have to choose now. Give it a week. When you have your answer weâll go talk to Doctor Cho about it. Risks for aborting and risks for keeping it. Because all I want is for you to be happy and healthy. With or without a baby. Now, go get dressed up. Iâm gonna take you out on a date.â Your worries get pushed aside and you kiss his lips softly.
~
âI want Lottie to have a sibling. Sheâd love to have a younger brother or sister and Iâm not totally against raising another child. In fact, I think it would be good for all of us. Itâs something I want. But... I just donât know if I can have the baby. I feel like... itâs almost a betrayal to Sarah.â Bucky nods, understanding where youâre coming from.
He mulls over your words while walking with you hand-in-hand to the park where Tony is watching Lottie.
âYouâre not the same woman as you were when you were pregnant with Sarah. Youâre not the same woman who couldnât see a future for herself. Sarah wonât be forgotten. Weâll always remember her and, regardless of how many years go by. Nothing will ever change that.â
You lean against him as you get to the park, watching Lottie play tag with a few other kids.
âShe wants a brother or a sister. How would she react if I got pregnant instead of adopting another one? Would she be upset?â You wonder aloud. Bucky shakes his head and wraps his arms around your waist.
âSheâs been talking about having a younger brother or sister on the rides to daycare. Sheâs seen pregnant women before and knows that thatâs where a baby grows. I think sheâll be good. Sheâs so sweet and kind, Iâm sure sheâll be happy.â You nod along with his words, pursing your lips for a moment.
âI wanna meet with an Ob-Gyn and Doctor Cho. Find out about how many complications there might be with either the pregnancy or abortion. I donât want to go into either blind with no information. Then I think Iâll be ready to make my decision.â He kisses your temple then takes your hand again, walking with you over to where Tony is sitting on a bench, watching his goddaughter closely.
~
The door closes with a soft âclickâ and Bucky and Charlotte perk up from where they sit on the couch.
âHi, mommy!â Lottie exclaims, jumping up and running to you. You scoop her up in your arms and kiss her cheeks. âHi, baby! How was your day with daddy?â She smiles brightly, âamazing mommy! We went to the zoo! And I felt animals! And then we had chicken nuggets!â You raise your eyebrows and walk with her into the living room.
âWe had a fun day together. After lunch we came home and watched Lilo and Stitch and coloured some pictures,â Bucky says, standing up and kissing your lips gently.
âHow were the appointments?â He asks after a moment, helping you to sit down. You keep Lottie on your lap and gently comb your fingers through your hair.
âIâll have to be monitored carefully. And Doctor Cho has recommended a few midwives and nurses to be with me at all times. My uterus is stable enough to support a fetus and my body is healed enough to carry one to term. She wants me to be on a stricter diet and have bi-weekly visits with her or Doctor Richards. My Gynecologist.â
His eyes widen as he takes this all in.
âWait... youâre...?â You smile softly at him.
âJust at the borderline of abortion time. And... weâre keeping it. I think I knew I was going to keep it all along.â He hugs you tightly, laughing as Lottie squeals. âDaddy youâre squishing me!â
The two of you break apart and he looks at you lovingly.
âThank you. Thank you so much.â You bite your bottom lip and take a deep breath. âIt wonât be easy. Iâll probably be hospitalized for a while. Doctor Cho thinks I might go into early labour too. But they think that weâll have a healthy baby.â
Lottie pushes your hands away from her head and turns to you with wide eyes. âYouâre having a baby? When? Where? A boy?â You laugh and kiss the tip of her nose. âWeâre planning on having one. But they wonât be here for nine more months. By that time youâll be starting kindergarten. And we donât know if youâll have a younger brother or sister. But we do know that youâll be the best big sister in the world.â
She smiles proudly. âI canât wait to be a big sister!â You kiss her cheek then rest your chin on her head. âIâm so happy, doll. So happy. Thank you for doing this. For letting us have this chance.â
~ Six months later
âBye Lottie! Have a good day at school!â
She stops before running to the bus and turns back around, running to you and kissing your tummy. âBye!â
She runs back to the bus and you watch with a smile as she climbs onto the bus and sits beside her friend.
As you walk back into the house, two hands are gently placing themselves on your large stomach.
âTwo of my three favourite people. Howâs baby doing today?â Your fiancĂŠ asks with a smile.
âWeâre doing good. Kinda antsy. We hit exactly thirty-three weeks today. Two more months and the newest addition to our family will be here,â you muse. He kisses your cheek then your stomach.
âThe team took my... retirement well. Tony says heâs got a more paperwork-based position for me.â You smile at that and rub your belly. âThatâs good. Howâs everyone doing?â He grabs two cups out of the cupboard and places them onto the counter.
âGood. Theyâre all really happy for us. Found out through Tony, cause God knows he canât keep his mouth shut to save his life.â You giggle and shake your head, knowing Buckyâs beyond right.
âWell, they were bound to find out at some point.â Bucky nods. âSteveâs real happy for you. Probably the happiest.â You raise your eyebrows at this but otherwise disregard the comment.
âNow, how about some fresh organic fruit juice to help in the development of our baby?â You groan and shoot him a pointed look. âYouâve gotta stop reading those parenting books!â He simply chuckles and pushes a glass of juice towards you.
Just as you lift the glass to take a sip, a sharp pain rips through your abdomen. You drop the glass and it shatters on the floor, its contents spilling everywhere.
You double over, holding your stomach with one hand and bracing yourself on the ground with the other. â(Y/n)? Whatâs happening?â Heâs by your side in an instant, lifting your hand out of the broken glass and supporting your weight.
âIt hurts!â You cry, holding onto your stomach and groaning in pain.
âIâm gonna call an ambulance, just breathe, okay?â You nod and take shallow breaths, then deep ones, trying to remember what the midwife said to do in this situation.
âAmbulance is on its way. Are-â âIâm scared!â You exclaim, grabbing his hands and ignoring the pieces of glass embedding in your flesh. âItâs okay. Youâre okay.â You shake your head, tears streaming down your cheeks.
âBucky it hurts so much! Iâm so scared.â He holds your hands and quickly inspects you, his gaze zeroing in on your sweatpants. Thereâs a dark stain between the legs, trailing down, making the grey fabric an eery black-ish grey.
âHoney... Please donât panic.â Your eyes widen and you follow his gaze, a strangled choke leaving you. âNo! Wh-whyâs there so much blood?! Bucky!â He strokes your hand gently. âItâs okay. Youâre okay. The babyâs okay.â You shake your head, tears flying. âWhy is there so much blood?!â You gasp as another wave of pain attacks your abdomen.
You open your eyes as you feel hands on you, not remembering closing them.
âThe paramedics are here. Theyâre gonna take us to the hospital. Tonyâs gonna be picking Lottie up from school soon too. Youâll be alright.â
Youâre lifted onto a stretcher, and you make the mistake of looking back. Thereâs a puddle of blood where you were standing.
âIs my baby okay?â You ask the paramedic by your head. She looks down at you, her lips pressed together in a tight line.
âWeâll find out in a moment.â
And then youâre in the ambulance, people hovering over you.
âSheâs losing a lot of blood!â The voices seem distant.
â(Y/n)? Can you hear me?â Your eyes find Buckyâs and you nod as an oxygen mask gets placed over your face.
âYouâll be okay. I swear.â You squeeze your eyes shut as another bought of pain overtakes you.
âI think itâs the placenta! Placental abruption. Have them ready with an OR and as many people from the maternal-fetal and Ob-Gyn wings as possible.â
Your eyes start rolling and everything gets blurry.
â(Y/n)?!â
âSheâs going into shock!â
The last thing you think before everything goes dark is
âIâm going to lose my baby. Again.â
~
~ beep
~ beep
~ beep
~ beep
You want that fucking noise to stop.
Wait, no you donât.
You peel your eyes open and blink a few times, not expecting the yellowish dim lights to be pouring in.
â(Y/n)?â You look over to your right, eyebrows furrowing.
âWhat happened? Where... where am I? Where are we?â He holds your hand and you wince as something tugs. A glance down shows you that itâs an IV.
You must be in a hospital.
âWeâre in the hospital. You were in a lot of pain and... there was a lot of blood. You passed out from blood loss and shock in the ambulance.â
Your free hand instinctively moves to your stomach and you whimper. Youâre significantly smaller than before coming here.
âWhere... is...â He opens his mouth to reply but the door opening cuts him off.
âGood, youâre awake. You gave us quite a scare for a while. Iâm Doctor Fletcher. You... wow. Weâre all so proud of you for pulling through. Iâm going to check your vitals and tell you what happened, okay?â You only nod.
âWell, your placenta had ruptured a bit. We donât know the exact cause, but we do know that that led to a small tear in your uterus. From there it started to rupture and there were some... complications.â
You take a few deep breaths then look up at him.
âWhereâs my baby?â
âMiss (Y/l/n), I know some of what youâve been through in the past. Your troubles with birth and pregnancy. And... I'm very pleased to tell you that you have a healthy baby boy resting in the NICU.â
A sob bubbles out of you and you cover your face with your hands.
âHeâs okay! Heâs a boy!â Bucky wraps his arm around you and squeezes. âWe have a son.â You bury your face in his chest and cry softly, so relieved and overjoyed.
âYes, you do. And in a few hours, youâll be okay to go see him. But you'll need to be wheeled there. And youâll have to be with a nurse.â You nod, eager to see your son.
âLottie and Tony are here. Lottie wasnât told about your condition or her new little brother. But she knows that youâre okay.â You nod slowly and take a few deep breaths.
âI had a baby. And heâs okay.â Bucky nods, a tear-filled smile on his face.
âYes, you did. And you did so well!â You smile and wipe your nose.
âCan Lottie come in? I wanna see my baby girl.â The doctor nods and writes something down on his clipboard, then opens the door and peaks out into the hallway.
Your daughter comes running into the room, tears filling her eyes as she sees you.
âMommy?â You smile at her and pat the spot next to you. âCome here, Lottie.â She carefully gets on the bed next to you and hugs you as gently as she can.
âAre you okay?â She asks, her bottom lip wobbling.
âYes, Baby. Iâm okay. I promise.â She kisses your cheek then looks down to your stomach. âWhereâs the baby? is it still in here?â She touches your stomach and frowns.
âNo baby. But if you want, we can take you to him.â Her face lights up. âI have a baby brother?â You nod with a smile. âWhat's his name?â You and Bucky exchange glances.
âWe havenât picked one yet, but you can help us choose. In a few hours, a nurse is gonna come and bring us to see your brother. And then we can pick a name.â She smiles excitedly and leans her head against your chest, sighing deeply and lying down with you.
âI was scared for you, mommy. But daddy and Uncle Tony told me not to worry cause nothing bad would happen to you.â
You kiss the top of her head and look over at Bucky.
âTheyâre right.â
~
You can hardly sit still as Bucky wheels you to the NICU. Lottie is no better.
âOkay, your son is right over here.â The nurse leads you to his little incubator and your heart fills with adoration.
âHeâs so small,â Lottie whispers. You nod and put your hand into the incubator, smoothing his hair away from his little pink face.
âHeâs so soft,â you whisper. Bucky stands behind the two of you, staring at his son in absolute awe.
âI love him so much already,â he says softly. A tear slides down your cheek and you put your hand on his chest, rubbing his soft skin.
âHe should be out of here in a week. Make sure you bring him back for his vaccinations. Avoid going into super public areas until heâs been vaccinated and make sure you check him for anything abnormal.â You nod at the nurse and stare lovingly at your son.
âWhat should we name him?â You ask. Lottie looks up at you with big eyes. âCan we name him Gabriel? Gabe for short.â You smile and look over at Bucky.
âI think thatâs a perfect name. Welcome to the family, Gabriel.â
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming