#distortion!jon

Avatar Sawp, this is mostly in the Archivist!Sasha territory

I had lots of fun with Web!Martin so I thought why not trying to swap around some in the main cast and see what happens

I was gonna do web!jon first like the poll said but then inspiration hit, and oh well, here’s DISTORTION!jon

(Please I beg you to take these from me and to tell me what you think)

**warning for Spoilers & Elias being...an old white man**

Melanie and Georgie have a vlog. 

It isn’t occultly themed, but the typical weirdness of the Archives occurs and they very weakly cover up what they talk about. 

Fans are split between thinking its an exploration in fiction or they are in league with many cryptids. 

a large (rather satiric) flame war happens over it

Melanie can’t stop laughing

Idiots go to Pride

everyone lives fuck you

 (Bonus: taken from the point of view of Georgie’s Camera)

Childhood friends to Lovers/Forbidden Love AU where Gertrude adopted Jon and Peter & Elias adopted Martin and They end up growing up together. 

(Bonus: all three parents get roped into some PTO thing and have to stay civil. They fail miserably much to Karen, Susan, and Sandra’s confused horror)

(Bonus: its a slowburn)

(Bonus: at some point they’re enemies)

**

Newly Elias, Jonah must re navigate the politics of the other Eye temples without revealing everything he knows

its maddening

its infuriating

and not every head actually knows what the purpose of these institutes are

its incompetence

Jonah has never in his life want to tell Jean-Marie to shut the fuck up  and tell everyone about an affair in his life

Kareem was replaced? by a woman? and shes not even an avatar? 

And she keeps talking down to him like he’s a child

he’s not a child

hes at over a century older than her, not he can tell her that

ahhhhhhh

did he tell peter how much he hates these meetings

he doesn’t care if the Beijing institute was “older” he misses his east india institute

fucking Boxers

hmmph

he wants to tell Nicholas to get a more dutiful translator, but he also likes their ideas much better

so its a toss

*googles: how to brag without revealing your plans for a ritual*

**

Jon & Georgie college Shenanigans

Jon eats a notebook

Agnes watching the real world

Avatar!Gerry lives and his entity treats him as a rather naughty cat

you know like “i hate you you ruin everything  youre a bastard but ill be damned if you arent entertaining”

let Jon and Gerry have more time to be friends goddamn you

Helen being a big sister to Jon in the weirdest ways possible

Georgie drags Jon to somewhere inherently queer and ends up bumping into his new coworker, Tim

Distortion!Jon

Gertrude coparenting with anyone (its such a funny concept to me especially if its Leitner or Elias)

Callum’s Becoming

(Bonus: From his parents point of view)

(Bonus: they aren’t concerned because they think its just normal teenager things)

Slaughter!Jon AU where he and Slaughter!Melanie are friends (this is my favorite as you can probably tell)

(Archivist!Sasha’s here too)

Melanie and Jon are impromptu sparring buddies

He’s closer to becoming than she is

he’s like her mentor but she bullies him

They try to keep each other human

they aren’t particularly open to the others about it

everyone thinks they hate eachother because of how they fight (they don’t this how they say that they love each other)

Martin’s scared, Sasha’s tired of the screaming, Tim keeps trying to lighten the mood 

“i know its wrong and pretty much permanently damns my soul to a violence god but what if i killed Wilkins”

“...”

“i know your thinking about it too so dont lie”

Jon & Daisy serve as Sasha’s only support this versions S4

Melanie still gets her surgery and is even more mad about it

bc Jon is the one that helps with it

Jon still has the extreme paranoia in S2

it gets alot hairier when he confronts Martin

when Melanie first starts,  the others think they keep dissapearing to have hate-sex

Nope

that is very very very wrong

theyre dissappearing to rip eachother apart so they dont hurt someone else

they call it tap in

“Tap in?”

“I’m in the middle of something, are you good?”

“homophobe in the library.”

“what”

*cracks knuckles” homophobe in the library”

Tim once walked into a tap in and tried to stop the fight