#dissection lesson

isn't it fucking horrifying that this kid, who spent most of his life with one person, gets sent to the hospital and replaced, dealing with all the shit that sam's done because he gets dragged into it as his friend, and then once he gets essentially kidnapped, he thinks about sam for his Last Final Moments only to be immediately replaced and brushed off with a clone. with several clones. with another version.

you're never going to be your own person. you're never going to be remembered for who you are and only as the concept of you. you're never going to be saved and you're never getting a funeral. they mourn for the lack of you, not who you were.

and the big thing is they never really do. they pay respects, sure, (TS E 21 around the end) but when sam and taurtis two see the letter, sam mostly brushes it off because the higher priority is gym class? and poor 2 who had to grasp the fact that he is a clone, and not the original that he thought he was. and im not sure just yet how much they reference original taurtis, but in the finale when they're discussing about having another taurtis;

GRIAN: At what point do we just... take the L?

SAM: Wait, you don't want Taurtis back?

GRIAN: Well- But- I'm just saying like-

GRIAN: How many Taurtises do we have to kill-

SAM, overlapping: As many as- as there is.

SAM: I'm never giving up on Taurtis.

SAM: HE IS OUR FRIEND, DUDE.

SAM: Even if he gets sacrificed to minion zombies and then meets an alternate version of himself named Jerry,

SAM, louder and harsher: I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP ON HIM.

^ from this alone you can see how sam feels about taurtis as a person when sam just wants the comfort of having a taurtis around, not so much that it's him

it's why sam didn't feel as bothered that the original died, he had clones that served the concept well. it's why sam dressed grian up and that was enough to comfort him because the idea of taurtis is around. it's why sam dismisses the fact that they should give up on trying to replace the original because he needs a taurtis to even function (it's why he crashes out multiple times so hard without him) and it's why he says "As many as there is." to grian's "How many Taurtises do we have to kill [before we just have to accept the loss]"

sam just can't accept the fact that taurtis is gone moreso that taurtis is a person rather than something him stable. idk. isn't it crazy that your perception warps so hard that your love for your best friend turns into an obsession that leaves him as an idea to you? isnt it crazy that your love for your best friend has you get dragged in to everything he does, consequences and all, to the point that you're grateful for everything anyway and you never get mourned?

HEY ALSO - THINK ABOUT TAURTIS FOR A MOMENT. he's been friends with sam for ~10 years basically growing up so he'd be continuously dragged into whatever sam does right? briefly talked about his ~purpose to sam in my other post but like taurtis alone is like . suffered more than jesus. guys - he's never been his own person really in the entire series even before / after death (clones + alt. dimension) and he's also been disrespected A LOT.

one thing i never see get talked about more is that taurtis gets sexually harrassed? there is an entire episode dedicated to taurtis 2 getting harrassed by two grown adults (dr. nurse + old man kurokuma) for an ENTIRE CLASS - IN FRONT OF THEM.

[TAURTIS is running away from KUROKUMA]

DR. NURSE: Stand still, boy.

SAM: Just stand still for the lesson!

TAURTIS: No! What is the lesson?!

TAURTIS: Is it to stop sexual harrasment?!

SAM: What is this demonstrating? SAM: Is this demonstrating um... to protect yourself from creeps? DR. NURSE: Yup SAM: Oh- oh okay, so- so explain how- this helps- Taurtis protect himself from creepy people. TAURTIS: I don't feel very protected, SAM: Well he's going to explain how to protect yourself from creepy people! DR. NURSE:

also by prof. geode the class after,

[GEODE forces him to sit in the special chair, then proceeds to sniff intensely]

TAURTIS: I've been harassed by three different people today.

and this behavior isn't even new? i'm surprised people look over geode's clear disgusting romantic interest in taurtis when discussing about them

i know he's referred as the clones' dad, because he did create them, but it's a little bit - weird? that people actually see (headcanon) geode as taurtis' actual father? idk lol

im a genius i think in deciphering that sam is at least aromantic to some degree esp when it comes to canon cause a lot of this shows some sort of misunderstanding Or disinterest:

didnt really seem to understand what "girlfriend and boyfriend" do when in a relationship with yuki, seemed to only care about sookie because she's pretty and had an obsession to get/with her

the obsession with taurtis (and grian if i believe and squint between lines) toeing the line but mostly falling short

always on about relationships and teasing people about it - but never actually getting into one right after yuki died

like - i dont think sam inherently understands what romance is and that definition has been even more skewed due to his relationship with yuki and his trauma ~concerning her because sam gets Scared thinking about girls with knives that have ~romantic tendencies because of her and her influence

canon sam has never mentioned sex i dont think despite the perversions so i dont think he's ever Had it, however i do think theres some like - associated implications (IF EVER, NOT SAYING THERE IS) that he's had sex with yuki before considering they were together or at least they Probably became a little intimate. PROBABLY.

iiiii personally believe in sam Almost had sex multiple times with yuki, mostly makeouts spiraling or yuki outright asking, but sam just always refused due to "not feeling it" or because he just didnt know How to

- and in My heart, with the asylum theory, was schooled there and had some talk about Not having it early or some bullshit idk they have Had to given sam some moral lessons cause its why sam relearns it in yhs if he forgot it in yandere

saying this ^ mostly because as far as we've really seen with sam and yuki's intimacy it never really ~went much, i havent rewatched the episodes when they were together in a while but i do know that they BARELY had any onscreen time as a real couple because sam is usually busy with the boys. at MOST - they've like kissed or tried to on screen and i swear it was cause sam was told to, but like tell me otherwise pleasey

but its like ?!?!? LETS BE REAL. SAM HONESTLY - as much as he focuses on romance/love/relationships vocally, via teasing/crushing/yearning - DOESN'T KNOW HOW IT WORKS.

he doesnt know how to pick up girls as much as he is the one vocally talking about it to most and even goading his friends to flirt with people when he Himself hasn't exactly done much except when it was for sookie, yuki (to some degree*), a girl that has put a little bit of interest in him

*their love wasnt exactly reciprocated at the start of the relationship and tbh - NEITHER OF THEM WOULD KNOW HOW IT WORKS. HAVE YOU SEEN YUKI. SEEN SAM.

also his obsession with love never really goes BEYOND "having a girlfriend" and thats it. when he and yuki get together he Really didnt know what to do cause he: doesnt reciprocate at first, doesnt understand how to be a boyfriend, doesnt know how this works beyond getting a partner, doesnt understand how relationships work anyway

its why he pushes people to "pick up girls" or to flirt! its why its the best that he can do himself! when he tries to attempt at flirting with sookie, he panics! he tries whatever it takes to get the girl! and DOESNT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND - HOW IT ALL WORKS. sam is FASCINATING to dissect in the way how he thinks. he gets confused about so many things and i could talk about them in a different post tbh but anyway

sam honestly as far as i can tell - stops trying to get a relationship in tokyo soul more than he's tried in yhs, and has probably sworn it off because of yuki (as i mentioned before) ? so if this isnt enough —