#disney sitcom

"You're a walking pet cemetery!"

Earlier today I remembered about Disney XD's 2000-2010's sitcoms and rn, as I'm eating a long ass kebab (over 45cm or 17,7 inches) I've decided to start rewatching my fav, Pair Of Kings and now I wonder...

- Blinded by nostalgia

- Fucking stupid

- have inhaled some kind of drug

- or shocked to find out that there really is drugs in halloween candy

Dog With A Blog? MORE LIKE... LIKE...

I wanna die. With a blog.

Dog with a blog is a show about a dog with a blog. It’s average beyond shit. 

There’s like a blended family and they... they have a dog, but he’s no doggo, he’s annoying... and... and the dog... he can talk, yeah... the blog isn’t actually important, but ya know... and um...

Yeah.

SUMMERY:  Avery Jennings and Tyler James are step-siblings who are complete opposites. Ever since their parents, Ellen Jennings and Bennett James, married and moved in together, Avery and Tyler cannot seem to get along. Bennett then adopts a shelter dog in the hopes that it will inspire Avery and Tyler to bond over taking care of him. When the children discover that their supposedly ordinary dog, Stan, has the ability to speak, they must work together in order to keep it a secret from everyone, especially their parents. After Avery and Tyler get into an argument, Stan runs away back into the shelter and the children create a plan to get Stan home.

COMEDY: 0 Out of 5

Hey, you! Yes, you, the normal average person! Tell me: Come up with a dog joke!

...Now now, don’t be shy, have at it!

Ok, very nice, you made your regular old dog joke! Maybe it was about how dogs need to pee a lot, or about how they hate mailmen, or how they love to eat, or how they love to eat, or how they love to eat, or how they sniff butts, or, dare i suggest the rare inclusion of how they love to eat?

What’s that? You came up with something way more original and interesting, since literally all vines have better dog jokes? Well CONGRATULATIONS! You don’t write for Dog With a Blog!

Yes, when it comes to humor, we are at rock bottom here. I smiled ONCE from a joke, and guess what? It had nothing to do with the dog.

The worst part is that these things can work: A talking dog has potential, and they sort of take it when it comes to the heartwarming aspect.

But in terms of jokes, you’ve seen these a thousand times. In fact, when the jokes aren’t bad, they’re kinda disturbing: The dad is a child psychologist who is bad at his job, and that’s brings forth so many horrifying thoughts. At one point the little girl, Chloe, says that talking dogs are happy in cartoons, which feels like a put down of cartoons. Stan (the dog) once failed to save an owner from being taken to a LITERAL assylum because, get this, he had peanut butter in his mouth.

This is what I have to work with. Other sitcoms have stock jokes, like Lab Rats and Bunk’d. This one has mental assylum jokes. In fact, I would have ranked this lower than Bunk’d, but it just got saved by the two other categories (and only then by a little)

CHARACTERS: 2 Out of 5

I just realized how weird the scores are gonna look, since this will have a 3 out of 15, and so does Lab Rats, yet both rank higher than Bunk’d with 6 out of 15. I think I better explain that first: The scores are more like a general overview of how I feel, rather than a fixed score. Lab Rats was sort of crap, but it had potential and I’d probably rather watch it than Bunk’d. Same with this, since Bunk’d (while more competant) was really meh, and this (bad as it is) would still be arguably more interesting.

That and there is one character I like, and her emotional beats worked better here than the ones in Bunk’d.

I’ve seen that the fandom this show had considers Avery a scrappy in Season 1, and I can see why, but for me, there was something cute and genuine about this rule obsessed girl. Perhaps it was because she is the only character with a brain, but she made me smile that one time, and she’s got a well made personality. IDK, maybe it’s the fact that I like cute characters and I’m biased, but I like this one!

Outside of her, though, everyone else is crap. We have our dumb older brother AGAIN, our annoying little sister AGAIN, our dumb to the point of disturbing parents AGAIN. And the gimmicky talking dog ends up being... Kind of average? He’s not funny, his emotional beats lie on a MISUNDERSTANDING PLOT and well... He sucks. He’s not cute, or funny, or anything. His relationship with Avery sort of is, but that’s mostly because Avery is the only character who’s any good.

And I said Bunk’d had 2, and it’s still lower. God, I am inconsistant. I might rrank Bunk’d higher in the end, but yeah, for now it’s weird.

STORY AND HEART: 1 Out of 5

Ah, a misunderstanding! What a big surprise! Let me guess: he overhears parts of the conversation, it should be settled easily, the emotional reconcilation is killed for a joke, none of it makes you feel anything, the brother and sister become friends almost out of nowhere, etc. etc. etc?

Big. Fucking. Surpise.

I mean... Dogs are naturally lovable. Sibling stories always pull at my heartstrings. This should have been easy!

I’m not saying this could have been a masterpiece, no way. But... But this could have been a cute, fun show. Something to sit back and relax with.

Instead, it’s sort of disturbing and annoying, and I’d rather watch the way less consistant Lab Rats. At least that one is trying to do something SLIGHTLY different and exciting.

And no, it doesn’t need to be exciting. But slice of life doesn’t deserve to be associated with this... Thing.

FINAL SCORE: 3 Out of 15.

Looks like Old Yeller is dying tonight. Get my gun. I’ll make it snappy.

Next time, we have Austin and Ally, one of the network’s biggest shows, a show that effectively replaced the original lineup of Hannah Montana, Zack and Cody, That’s so Raven and Wizards alongside Jessie, Liv and Maddie, Good Luck Charlie and more.

I remember not liking this one, but hey, ya never know? Ross Lynch has a nice voice, so that might save me.