#disaster men

The entire floor of the living room was drowning in his clutter. Constantine grabbed a black trash bag and started shoving anything even remotely pawnable into it. The news droned in the background, rambling on about how the world was going to hell.

John barely heard it. His world had been there for years.

… 

John sighed as he stood up surveying his work, everything was in garbage bags, at least the profitable shit was in garbage bags. The rest? Just tossed back onto any hard surface tables, chairs, counters, his desk, you named it, it was covered. John might have been a mess but he didn’t care for tripping over his own useless crap. He shoved a few trashbags out of the way a few rustling as if protesting the motion. “Yeah yeah fuck off”, he grumbled at the objects kicking the shite to the side. As he finally got his floor back he noticed something odd sticking out of the floor board. 

  Now he had two options, leave it the fuck alone, or investigate.

   Right he thought to himself wouldn’t be John Bloody Constantine if i started leaving shite alone now, would I? 

  He crouched down low to get a better look the worn hardware floor creaked beneath his weight. As he got closer he noticed something shiny poking out of the floorboard, or more accurately he noticed the floor board just one not quite laying flat. John stood and trudged into the kitchen ignoring the cold of the hardwood or how the cold was bleeding into his socks. He wrenched open the middle drawer near his stove and grabbed the flathead screwdriver, it was likely left behind by who ever lived here before him. John didn’t really care he was just happy he didn’t have to go prying up a loose floorboard with his damn hands or a butter knife. He had one too many scars from such ventures he didn’t need another and he sure as hell wasn’t going to a hospital because he sliced himself bloody because of a floorboard. No way in hell was he explaining that to a nurse. He had better shite to do or at least thats what he liked to believe. 

   He went back to the mess in the living room and whatever weird little mystery that waited beneath hardwood. John sighed briefly hoping that the damage he was about to make to the floor wouldn’t cause him to lose his damned security deposit he was already short on cash. He really couldn’t afford to lose that as well. 

   Some days it really felt like he was hemorrhaging money more then the average drunk or addict. Even when he tried to do good hell even when he did do good it rarely if ever paid. Oftentimes john was stuck wondering if its even worth it continuing his line of work when it often left him penniless and usually friendless. And the few friends he did have have were often ghosts, had there foot halfway in a grave, or no longer wanted anything to do with him. Which he couldn’t really blame them for that he knew he was a bloody mess and oftentimes a difficult bastard with questionable morales its usually better that they bugger off that way no new deaths could linger against his conscience.

   He crouched back in front of the floor board and carefully shoved the screwdriver into the small crack working it back and forth. The wood let out a long croaking sound as if protesting against the force he was using. He held the screw driver like a chisel, “right to hell with the security deposit then”, he murmured and grabbed the nearest heavy object which happened to be a random stone statue he got from a buddhist years ago as thanks. Yeah john accepted it but he would’ve preferred cash but whatever bit hard to demand cash payments for saving someone’s life. What was he supposed to do go “hey so your about to be swallowed whole by a demon that’ll be 100 quid would you like to pay in cash or check?” Yeah that’d go over great he thought bitterly, as he slammed the statue hard into the driver the wood immediately splintered slightly the floorboard immediately popped loose. He set the screwdriver and statue aside and moved the floorboard over and ofcourse it was a faulty board some sort of secret opening inside. 

  He reached inside and vaguely hoped nothing would try to bite and otherwise kill him. He really didn’t have time today and he was fairly certain if he did it right he could get his deposit back if he replaced the board just right. His hand brushed against old paper and what he guessed was likely dust bunnies. And then something metallic he scooped up both things and gently pulled them out. 

  He blinked at his now grime covered hand in vague surprise and confusion. Someone really went out of there bloody way to hide a old spoon and a letter. John stared at the contents looking betrayed and just done. He nearly lost his security deposit for this?! 

   Still he already committed to it he might as well bloody see what the hell it said he walked over to his small kitchen pulled out a cheap wooden chair that screeched every time he dragged the thing back to sit at the table. He sat down and turned on the desk lamp, yes he kept a desk lamp in his kitchen for his work there often wasn’t enough light. Upon further examination the letter was dated November 1897, the fuck john thought. How the hell did this bloody thing survive this long in the damned floorboards with a spoon which he guessed was from the same date? Again who the bloody hell hides a letter and a spoon in the damn floorboards?! Which if you asked john that was a question he never thought he’d have to ask muchless even think. To be honest it wasn’t something he ever thought would happen but here he is with a perfectly sealed letter from november 1897. 

   He grabbed a letter opener from the table and gently popped the seal on it. 

It read as follows.

 "Dear tennant or whomever stays or lives in this loft. 

   You may have noticed already that this loft is very very very weird. Odd occurrences keep happening here please take this letter as a warning, if you have anything of value or anything you value yourself keep it away from the fireplace and chimney. Things that fall down the chimney disappear without a trace once a chimney sweeper, kind fellow really fell down the damn chimeny and we never heard from him again. It caused our family much grief as people claimed we killed him we most certainly did not we even rushed down the stairs to help the fellow even searched the chimney see if the man got stuck inside as he did have a wide bottom. But alas he was gone truly no blood, just a yelp and poof. 

   As for the fireplace whenever you leave anything near it that too disappears and i have no doubt this letter will also be one of those things that mysteriously poof as well. I am going to do an experiment tonight with a spoon i will drop it down the chimney in hopes it finds wherever it is things go. This letter im leaving near the fireplace on our good sitting chair perhaps it will also land in the same place as my favorite silver teaspoon. I did so have it since i was a child if you do find it perhaps it is you that is stealing things and people. Either way do take care and if possible please return the chimney sweeper with the round bottom, and my spoon thank you."

....

John read the damned letter once then twice he blinked slowly, a laugh escaped him this had to be a fucking prank from some bloody teenager with an aptitude for creative writing. But still johns curiosity was peaked. And honestly it made him want to learn about whatever family lived here in 1897 and what the fuck was going on. 

  He couldn’t help it he found himself walking over to the old fireplace that the landlord said he hasn’t used in years mainly because the cost for upkeep and repairing it was too much. He pretty much told john that if he’s cold he’ll install some extra space heaters just dont touch the fireplace. Now john wondered if the landlord somehow knew? Or if something weird was really happening with the fireplace and chimney.