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The mind numbing anger of chronic fatigue is getting irritable because you're so fucking tired but you really feel like you SHOULDNT BE.
You SHOULD be able to sit at a desk and do work. You SHOULD be able to just watch a freaking YouTube video. You SHOULD be able to just eat fucking lunch.
But you can't. Because your eyes are closing and it's like temporary death is taking you.
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i still wanna box and skate though.
Chronic pain is so exasperatingly frustrating to live with. It’s so hard to plan around, so hard to get anything done at all. Makes an already bad day much worse, and makes it incredibly hard to be present and nondissociated enough to enjoy the good things in life.
I sort of hate how people with disabilities are always expected to be an “inspiration” and in good humour about their disability. We must conform to this idea, hide the worst of our symptoms to make others more comfortable. They are disgusted by our rage. Shout out to disabled people who don’t want to be an inspiration, who are pissed off and sad.
does the grief ever just hit you that youre disabled now and will never be able to do the things you love ever again
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Its kinda sad that my co-workers don't really care about the fact I'm not fully-able bodied.
For the entirety of winter I had to use a cane because I was diagnosed with patellofemoral syndrome and trochanteric bursitis.
Now I'm lucky enough that both of these things can be fixed/helped with PT and stuff.
And while these both wouldn't be considered disabilities (at least I don't. Maybe I'm wrong tho) I still had to go to work and walking unassisted was a huge pain in the ass (the one time I thought "hey I think I don't need my cane anymore cause the pains stopped" I fell directly onto my knee and had to use the cane even more then I did)
And without fail every week the same guy would just be like "what's the cane for?" And I'd say "the same thing it's been for the last few months" and he'd go "Still? That ridiculous you. You got an injury from walking and standing? Your body must be a pussy" and I'd just laugh and play it off.
Like. I walk A LOT, I would get nearly 25,000 steps in 4-6 hours. Getting a full DAYS worth of steps in such a short amount of time. Times 5 years! Fucks up your legs!
And trying to get through to him by saying "the amount of steps you take in a full 12 hour shift is the amount I get in half the time" didn't really seem to stick.
And it sucks when I would ask "hey can you not put that really heavy object down near the ground because I can't really bend my knees today" and them going "yeah sure" and then continuing to put it down there and instead of going "oh right you asked me not to" and moving it, just going "oh sorry" and leaving it down their.
And now I'm low-key scared to use the cane outside again. I haven't needed it but I can feel the pain starting again.
Sorry, I know this makes absolutely 0 sense but I just had to vent about it.
Double Standards
This is actually a redraw of an older traditional piece. It was originally a vent art, but I was having a lot of fun making this version.
Original, alternate versions, and explanation under the cut.
i kinda hate how online spaces have made "ableism" mean "bigotry against people w (SPECIFIC) mental disorders/autism and adhd" and absolutely forgets every other disabled person ever
