tears started to swell up within his eyes as he watched the male before him. the sounds of machines beeping and humming as they did their best to keep him alive, they were dulled to his ears as his focus was on ryuuji. this was something he feared would happen to him as work stressed him out. in a way, he had felt that this would happen, that the stress would just be too much on him, harming him. and ryou was sure that he could have done more to prevent this. slowly, he made his way to the side of the bed, never keeping his eyes off of him. his heart pounded within his chest while his mind raced of different thoughts of the scene and what would come. carefully, as to be sure not to disturb ryuuji from his restful sleep, he took his paled hand within his own, intertwining their fingers together. ‘ Everything will be alright, ‘ they had told one another from the last episode that had placed him in the same hospital bed. ryou wanted to believe it this time, just as much as the last few times. “ Ryuuji . . . I’m here . . . just like always, I’m here for you . . . please . . . “ lowering his head, he pressed his lips against the knuckles of the bony hand, finding his body trembling the more he realized the situation. “ Please don’t leave me . . . “ a soft gasp left him when he felt the other’s hand somewhat tighten around his own, lifting his gaze to see a small smile upon the other’s face. oh, how he loved seeing that smile; how it was much calmer than the usual smirks he’d often give to his fans and others that did not mean as much as ryou did. seeing him in this position hurt him, for one day he had been smiling and laughing just as he did the first time they met to . . “ Ryuuji . . . “ the name slipped from him once more, leaning forward to press his lips against the other’s forehead. “ Everything will be alright . . . it will . . . we’ll be home, just you and I and we can relax together . . . with no worries . . . “ he murmured, the tone of his voice shook as he realized that his words were only becoming wishful thinking. “ . . . be alright . . . “ with the only response being a slow nod and a cough, ryou could only fear what would happen next. the beeping changed pace, signifying and confirming ryou’s fear. his own heart started to quicken while the tears now started to flow. “ . . . don’t leave me alone . . . “ he almost whimpered, cupping his cheek gently and pressing his forehead against ryuuji’s. a soft hiccup left him when he felt a weak kiss be pressed up against his own lips. no, no no ! he couldn’t lose another loved one. feeling ryuuji’s hand weakly cupping ryou’s cheek, mirroring his action, ryou leaned his head against the hand, ignoring the tears that had started to flow down his face. it had gotten worse as he heard a quiet ‘ I love you ‘ whispered against his lips before the machines beeped on more faster. “ N - No . . . “ he choked on his words, whimpering again. “ Ryuuji . . . I - I love you, too . . . I always will . . . “ opening his eyes to meet with those lovely emeralds, he had spotted the smile, weak, but so full of love. ryou’s chest ached as he tried to deny what was happening. especially as he watched those eyes close and his chest slowly rising with another coughing fit. ryou stayed close, not wanting to move away at all as he wanted to be at his side at all times. ryou wasn’t sure how long it had been, and he didn’t care. every moment that ryuuji was alive, ryou made sure to be right there. he was the other’s source of happiness after all. when the machines started flashing for emergency, ryou knew that the end was close, and ryuuji seem to have realized that as well by the way he leaned back, coughing more and his breathing getting worse. at this point, ryou didn’t care what the doctors said, getting beside him on the bed to hold him close, careful not to detach any wires connected to him. “ I’m here . . . “ he whispered, holding the other close to him, arms wrapped securely around his body while he allowed his head to rest upon his shoulder. despite the horror of the situation, ignoring the fast paced beeping that came from the machinery, and the awful sounding coughs leaving ryuuji’s lips, ryou continued to hold him close. he had even started to hum, repeating each phrase over and over. the tune was the very one his own mother had sang to him right before she had passed on. and he was more than happy to sing this very tune to him to the very end.
