#digital ethics

Well, Nicole, How does Aphasia Occur? (In MR. DNA's voice)

Aphasia is caused by damage to the specific portions of the brain responsible for language, typically located in the left hemisphere. This damage can result from a stroke, a head injury, or, as in my case, a severe hypoxic event. My aphasia was caused by a drowning incident where I required CPR to be revived. During those moments of oxygen deprivation, the language centers of my brain sustained permanent changes.

Diagnosis is typically handled by a team of neurologists and speech-language pathologists. They use standardized testing to assess verbal expression, auditory comprehension, reading, and writing. These tests help determine the specific type of aphasia a person has, such as Broca's aphasia, which affects speech production, or Wernicke's aphasia, which affects the ability to understand and organize meaningful language.

I was diagnosed with Wernicke's aphasia, which is also known as sensory or fluent aphasia. Because Wernicke's affects the area of the brain responsible for processing and attaching meaning to words, the speech remains fluent and follows a natural rhythm, but the actual content contains specific glitches.

Some of my experiences:

Semantic Paraphasia: One of the most frequent hurdles I face is called semantic paraphasia. This happens when my brain knows exactly what category of word I am looking for, but it grabs the wrong file from the folder. For example, I might be trying to write a scene where Sephiroth sits down on his seat, but my brain hands me the word table instead. Both are pieces of furniture, so the meaning is close, but the specific target is missed. This is a primary reason why my editing process is so indepth. I have to manually verify that every seat didn't accidentally turn into a table while I wasn't looking.

Neologisms and Word Blending: Sometimes, when my brain cannot find the singular, perfect phrase I am looking for, it tries to bridge the gap by blending two correct concepts into a new, slightly off-target structure. A common example of this in my daily life is telling my husband I love him pretty alot. My brain is trying to say I love him a lot and I think @armchair-pirate is pretty, and in the rush to get the sentiment out, it fuses them together. These blends make sense to me in the moment, but they require an extra layer of "author-mode" proofreading to catch before I post. It is EMBARASSING when something like this slips through, and it sometimes does.

Severe Brain Fog and the Aphasic Block: The most difficult part of this condition is the total aphasic block. When my system is over-taxed—whether from a post going viral or a spike in physical pain—the pathways between my thoughts and my language center can essentially brown out. It feels like the electricity has been cut to the processing part of my brain. During these times, the energy required to manually retrieve and assemble words is simply gone, and I find myself completely unable to write or even think in coherent sentences.

The Overlap with Generative AI

In the current digital landscape, many people have become hyper-vigilant about identifying generative AI. Unfortunately, the symptoms of aphasia can mimic what some perceive as AI tells.

A person with aphasia might use a word that is close to the intended meaning but not quite right, such as my table to chairs that I commonly have a problem with, or they may use a common phrase in a slightly unusual way. This is a result of the brain reaching for a specific term and the neural pathway diverting to a neighboring concept, as I explained above.

Because aphasia makes spontaneous communication difficult, many of us rely on meticulous structure and organization to ensure we are understood. When a trained author uses high-level grammar and clear formatting to compensate for their glitchy internal language bridge, it can appear suspiciously polished to an untrained eye.

How Long Does It Take You to Post, Nicole?

For a neurotypical person, writing a post might take a few minutes. For a creator with aphasia who is also a trained professional, the process is a marathon of editing and manual verification.

The post regarding platform changes—the one that reached so many of you—was not an automated output. It took a total of four hours of intense writing, fact-checking, and editing to produce. A second post took another hour. This was labor I did for this community as a whole because I did not want to see Tumblr turn into X. These posts were written and shared after Tumblr already reversed the changes, specifically to ensure we stayed vigilant. And look what it was met with.

Every sentence was a deliberate choice. Every structural decision was made to ensure my intent survived the glitches in my neurochemistry. My writing process is a heavy investment of time and energy, prioritizing sustainable quality over the speed of typical social media interactions.

Why AI Accusations Hurt

This is why the accusations of using generative AI are so painful. I spent five hours of my limited energy and "spoon" count trying to help this community, only to be mocked and called out for the way my brain works. I WORKED through a migraine caused by their rollout to be met and called out for the way I type.

It is one thing to block someone you think is using AI, but it is a completely different thing to openly mock and poll a person when you never know what invisible illness they might be living with. While I personally hate generative AI, I would never accuse someone of using it because I understand that human brains are diverse.

There is a group of people on this platform who need to grow up and stop living such sheltered lives. It is disheartening to see a good portion of the user base letting the fear of AI haunt their brains to the point where they attack disabled creators. They are letting AI and AI companies to be your boogeymen. They need to relearn empathy. I, who have C-PTSD, actually feel sorry for them. They are turning this space into a cesspool of suspicion instead of the sanctuary it should be.

To those playing detective. You need to go back to school, go to college, and actually learn how language and literature work. If you cannot distinguish between a trained, professional writer navigating a neurological condition and a machine-learning algorithm, that is an indictment of your own education. My organization and my rhythm are the results of decades of study: or, dare I say, skills you should be learning rather than attacking. There is a desperate need for some of the portion on Tumblr to relearn empathy and stop assuming that anything structured must be artificial. Stop making AI the boogeyman in your heads when you see an articulate person.

Moving Forward

I have decided that moving forward, I will still make Call to Arms posts and advocacy content when necessary. However, that labor is now for my followers and my mutuals. I am shifting my focus back to the people who lead with respect and who I admire.

Regarding the recent viral posts that helped so many. I am sorry, but I am keeping reblogs turned off on those specific posts because of the bad-actors and the stress they caused. They are still on my blog for reference, but they will no longer be open for further circulation from my account.

To all my new followers: I am a 45-year-old retired author and a meticulous plotter. I have been writing since I was very young and have spent my life studying literature and creative writing. This blog is my sanctuary, a place where I share my passion projects like Fantasy Worlds Collide and my personal journey as a Druid, Final Fantasy 7, and a system.