#diedrobin

there's a pain at his words , an ache that creeps from her abdomen to her spine . a hand shifts to rest atop her stomach , the feeling of rough scar tissue tangible even though the fabric of her shirt . she can still see his face see the barrel of the gun pointed at her . there are even some nights , she can still his voice his laugh in her ear .

she takes a moment to think about his words . she knows she should've spoken up immediately told him that vengeance wasn't the answer . but even barbara knows that that would be lying to herself . she tries so hard to stay on the coarse of justice , tries to follow the path laid for her by her father and bruce . . . but there is a part of her who wants the joker dead just as much as jason does .

she turns her focus back to jason , green eyes meeting blue - gray ones whose color seem as stormy as the storm she knows all too well is raging on inside of him . she can see it in his eyes he understands . he understands in a way that the others don't ; in a way that they can't . she stays quiet as she reaches out , her hand gently grasping his . she gives it a small squeeze .

❝   𝚈𝚎𝚊𝚑  ?  𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚕  ,  𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎  𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐  𝚞𝚙  .   ❞    Even  if  he  had  to  carry  him  ,  there  was  no  sense  in  leaving  him  here  like  this  .  Despite  all  of  Two-Face  grumbling  how  he  was  contemptuous  of  sticking  around  with  the  quote  &&  quote  "  kid  " .  He  ignored  him.  After  so  long  you  learnt  to  persist  despite  the  voice  in  your  head  taunting  you  .

❝   𝙰𝚕𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝  ,  𝚞𝚙  𝚢𝚘𝚞  𝚐𝚎𝚝  . ❞    He  tried  to  avoid  patronizing  but  there  wasn't  much  time  to  just  lay  sprawled  out  all  over  the  ground  .  ❝     𝙸  𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝  𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍  𝚝𝚘  𝚍𝚒𝚎  𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎  ,  𝙹𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗  ,  𝚊𝚗𝚍  𝚒𝚝'𝚜  𝚗𝚘𝚝  𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛  𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚎  𝚝𝚘  𝚍𝚘  𝚜𝚘  𝚎𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛  .  𝙸  𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍  𝚝𝚘  𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎  𝚢𝚘𝚞  𝚝𝚘  𝚝𝚑𝚎  𝚌𝚊𝚛  ,  𝚐𝚎𝚝  𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎  𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎  𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚗  𝚞𝚜  𝚊𝚗𝚍  𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖  𝚊𝚗𝚍  𝚏𝚊𝚜𝚝  𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎  𝚢𝚘𝚞  𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚍  𝚘𝚞𝚝  . ❞   

The  makeshift  tourniquet  he  made  from  a  spare  rag  would  have  to  do  for  now  .  It  wasn't  as  though  he  couldn't  carry  him  ,  he  just  needed  him  to  meet  him  halfway  here  . He knew getting to The Joker of all people would be no easy feat , they can't go losing the kid in the process . && really the whole fiasco was a little hypocritical on his part , and he knew it . He couldn't take back the pain he had caused Batman's first ward . && Maybe in some way this was penance for that , at the very least it was a selfish notion of revenge . Two men bisected by the cruel hand of fate . In this case the hand that 'threw the acid' was still at large .

she doesn't even remember calling him . she remembers hearing a laugh , a laugh that seemed so hauntingly familiar . it had felt like she couldn't breathe , like she couldn't move . and now she finds herself sitting on the ground in an alleyway , whiteknuckled as she grasps her phone tightly .

she's accustomed to the red hood showing up at her window by now . in fact , she has grown to expect it . these nights are the worst , however . nights when he shows up , beaten and bloodied , and with nowhere else to go . she tells herself that she's glad he comes to her that he trusts her enough despite his resentment for bruce . but even so , her heart breaks a little more each time he appears on her fire escape in shambles .

she's up before he even finishes talking , already closing thed distance between them as she helps him in through the window . she can already see the flood dripping from his leg , and the sight of it makes her stomach churn . " dammit , jay . what kind of trouble did you get into this time ? " she helps him to her bathroom , adrenaline allowing her to support his weight . she can already tell by the amount of blood that simply stitching him up is not going to be enough , and as she grabs her first aid kit , she also unearths her cauterizing tools .

" this is not gonna be fun , jay , " she says as she returns to the bathroom , crouching down on the floor in front of him . she grabs scissors from the med kit , immediately starting to cut the leg of his jeans . " one joke about me cutting up your jeans , and i'm calling alfred instead , " she mumbles as she finishes cutting the pants , finally revealing the true severity of his injury . she's no medical expert , but even she knows that the cut on the back of his leg is deep enough to slice his tendon .

she stays quiet as she gets to work , focusing on cleaning it as best as she can which is easier said than done due to the bleeding . she realizes she has no choice but to cauterize first . she reaches for his jacket , rummaging through his pockets until she finds what she's looking for : morphine . she uncaps the epipen , meeting jason's gaze for a moment before jamming it into his leg near the wound , injecting it . she's never been more thankful for knowing that he carries it , as her own emergency supply is running low . " sorry , " she whispers , before she gets started on the hard stuff .

even with the morphine , he still screams . the smell of burning flesh makes her sick to her stomach , but she keeps going . she has to . she has to get the bleeding stopped , or else he's going to be in trouble . luckily , her time of patching up assorted members of the bat family have helped , and eventually , she finishes . she pauses to wipe his forehead , now beaded with sweat . " you did great , big guy , " she mutters , her voice gentle but still a bit shaky . he's unconscious at this point , but she still feels the need to reassure him . " you did so good . "

how many years has it been… when clark looks back his younger years were not so far away. yet had gone in a blink of an eye. clark was a child once. and he grew into a young adult. he became a hero he was destined to be. in this long and wide turning path there was the chance to meet jason todd. so small, yet taller than dick when bruce adopted him years earlier. the world was so big with a myriad of people. any one of the many meetings could change a path to something unpredictable. in jason's case it was the best case scenario… he received father, a home, a comic book fantastical life all ahead of him. mercy from the woes of life. everything orphan could ask for. clark remembers it. the time bruce having had calling him telling clark there was a new robin and child in the manor. how he was different then dick … but his potential was just as great. it was a long phone call, actually. clark was happy for both bruce and the new robin. but bruce never was able to shake that brief tone of grief in his voice speaking of a newly adopted child with a troubled childhood. something in which bruce identified with all too well. in that brief emotional burden for bruce is why clark felt so inspired to always help him with his kids. to meet the young jason todd . exuberant, excitable, and resilient. able to turn a new leaf in stride. that was then. when clark blinks he is back in the now. thats how fast the past went and became the present.

clark had heard of this red hood in gotham. a new rogue. usually bruce always told him about the new developments in his city. not this one. it was so unlike him. but clark knew better than to pry with bruce […] it was all coincidental really. the super was flying to the bat cave and something familiar stopped him. his eyes went wide like a shark taking in the scent of blood. an unmistakable scent the shook the alien to his very core. the scent of resurrection… the super spun around in the air now frantic to find the source. somehow nothing else mattered. not bruce's request to come over. not the millions of heart beats in the city. this was his priority… he had to act fast as the rain of the night was soon setting in and once it was here it wouldn't be possible to find his target again…

one last scent and he finds the trail he's looking for nestled in an alley. clark could feel his heart rate pick up. his jaw slightly parted. a sense of adrenaline in his heart suddenly bringing him to life as if he was chasing a ghost. no, he was chasing a ghost. his form blurs in the sky and moments later there he was landed in the near alley within a dark shadow. it stops the red hood in his tracks to turn around… then its clark who emerges slowly. the wind that comes from the front of the alley rushes into him. a tension was in the air. his approach was steady, welcoming. the red hood’s was not. although it was against clarks usual to use his xray vision to see who he was facing, but all gloves were off in his hearts desire to dig up coffins of the past. he sees it now. he sees him now. quietly. so quietly clark says only between them.

❝ jason… ❞

it seemed the whole city was in a stand still. that beyond the entrance and exit of this alley was now nothing else […] clarks hands tighten at his sides, his finger tips clawing at their palms. a sign of stress. this was him. this was that robin now. standing before him. but his wings were clipped and he was something fallen from grace. the red hood now. and it seemed he wasn't happy to see clark. he can see it in his stance, his tightened muscles ready to react … his furrowed brows. its like a dagger to the heart seeing that expression look back at him. it was a far cry from what clark remembers. those wide large eyes looking at him with misty tears hanging from their lashes. so overjoyed to meet the superman! that's the memory he's clinging to. but within his fingers those memories feel as if they becoming ash that blows in a westward wind. unable to grab them no matter how much he desperately throws his hands into the air, grasping, clawing. ( still, what ash remains will be placed in an urn. ) a heavy breath leaves kal. there was a ghost before him. how should he know what to say ? he has so much he feels he could just plead out unto him. guilt. happiness. regret. love. but none of it would make it to jason. he just knows resurrection has not been kind to him.

a unsure step forward. jason doesn't step back. instead he stands his ground. a wolf snarling. not welcoming, neither willing to run. clark swallows his decisions hesitantly. this was his one chance to speak. uncertainty took hold of him. ❝ you're alive… i'm just. i don't know. i'm sorry… i ❞ jason's interrupts clark harshly. he doesn't want his pity. he doesn't want no ones pity. impervious skin is no match to hate from a loved one he could not save… ❝ no no i don't mean it like that. please what happened ? why this ? you didn't have to come back alone. not like this. not able to live, and not able to rest in peace. please please, i just want to help -

when clark smelled him once again not he was no longer mystified by a familiar scent clouding his judgment, but welcomed to a harsh reality. jason has anxiety and adrenaline in his blood showing his stark apprehension to kal. more over, there was someone else's blood on him. the smell of gun smoke fresh all over. and munitions that could take on anyone the entire night. this was a far cry from anything he was taught back then so long ago… no no no. ❝ i'm sorry. i'm sorry. it's my fault - i'm a hero. i was a hero to you. but i couldn't save you. please don't go we can talk about this. ❞

the moment is burning away furiously and quickly. finally the rain sets in. it washes over them both in a sudden drop of heavy drops. a crack of thunder causes clark to wince too loud for someone like him. and in that moment he opens his eyes … jason is gone. the super panics. ❝ wait, wait don't go ! ❞ hectically he darts into the sky spinning around amongst a high point. his xray vision scanning anything and everything. gotham however was too covered in lead within every building that he could not see through most of what he looked at. the rain now too heavy where no scent could be picked up … it was over.

❝ JA- ❞ he doesn't shout his name. something in clark makes him hesitate. a tightening in his heart. the super could only look down. in a rare moment […] he seemed hopeless. all he could utter was 2 more syllable. ❝ son. son… ❞

she's been staring at her screen for too long, and for a moment, she thinks she's hallucinating. calloused hands push her glasses away as she rubs at her eyes, trying to regain her focus and stay awake. and then she hears his voice, and she feels a little less crazy. " gimme a sec, jay, " she calls out at she swivels her chair around, before pushing herself up.

walking is getting easier. it still takes up a lot of her energy, but being able to walk herself from one side of her apartment to the other without needing to sit down is an accomplishment that barbara cherishes. finally, she makes it to the door, flipping the locks before pulling it open. a smile appears as her gaze settles on the familiar form of jason todd, and she leans against the doorframe. " look at you, using the door, " she teases, letting out a laugh before pushing herself out of the way. "can't say i was expecting you, but the surprise is a good one."

she looks up at him for a moment. she forgets sometimes how big he's gotten. there's a part of her that still sees the young robin that used to follow her around when she thinks of him, but here he is. even though he's not that much taller than her, she cannot help but feel small in comparison.

*✘ @diedrobin / 𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙴𝙳 : " i understand more than you think . " THE SOUNDS OF NIGHTMARES SENTENCE STARTERS .

𝐀𝐇  𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐓 .  𝐘𝐄𝐑  𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒  𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍  𝐀  𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐍'  𝐁𝐄𝐃-𝐖𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑  ,  𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐕  𝐁𝐔𝐓  𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍  𝐏𝐈𝐓𝐘  𝐁𝐘   𝐀  𝐊𝐈𝐃  𝐍𝐎  𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 ?  𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒  𝐀  𝐍𝐄𝐖  𝐋𝐎𝐖 !

𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙴𝙻𝚈  𝙰  𝙺𝙸𝙳  .

Dragging  on  the  cigarette  between  pale  ,  half  lips  ,  scarred  side  of  their  face  exposed  the  other  turned  away  . 

❝    Maybe  you  do  .  Stories  go  around  this  city  ,  𝙷𝙾𝚁𝚁𝙾𝚁  𝚂𝚃𝙾𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚂  𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴  𝙾𝚄𝚁𝚂  .  ❞    The  window  of  vulnerability  is  one  neither  𝙷𝙰𝚁𝚅𝙴𝚈   or  𝐓𝐖𝐎-𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄  wished  to  open  .  Though  words  were  often  rocks  ready  to  shatter  the  thin  sheet  barricade  like  glass  .

Their  grizzly  tales  had  crossed  paths  on  numerous  occasions  .  He's  certain  of  it  .  And  the  beginnings  of  𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝙷𝙾𝙾𝙳  and  𝐓𝐖𝐎-𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄  were  ones  of  likeness  ,  comparative  to  the  old  gemini  .

❝    𝙼𝙰𝚈𝙱𝙴  𝚈𝙾𝚄  𝙳𝙾  .  ❞    He  repeats  ,  tapping  the  cigarette  out  on  the  concrete  step  . 

❝    But you shouldn't .   ❞   I'm undeserving . He doesn't say it . Daring  to  look  up  at  the  other  .  An  apology  on  his  tongue  but  it  doesn't  come  ,  it  dissipates  with  cigarette  smoke  .  ❝    𝙱𝙴𝙶𝙸𝙽𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂  𝙰𝙽𝙳  𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂 .  I  just  wonder  how  it'll  all  pan  out  in  the  end  .  All  of  this  ;  𝙸𝚃  𝙲𝙰𝙽'𝚃  𝙶𝙾  𝙾𝙽  𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁   Is  there  really  any  helping  this  city  I've  often  wondered  ,  I  used  to  believe  it  . ❞