Jul 5
Someone insys has been intentionally antagonizing me. Everytime I think or say that I'm angry or annoyed or, mainly, if im 'pissed tf off' because SOMEONE in there keeps parroting "im pissed the freeg off" at me
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Someone insys has been intentionally antagonizing me. Everytime I think or say that I'm angry or annoyed or, mainly, if im 'pissed tf off' because SOMEONE in there keeps parroting "im pissed the freeg off" at me
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New weed. Tastes like fruit and honey? This is some Dionysus shit
Good news: we're in therapy
Bad news: I hate fucking therapy
Sometimes having DID fucking sucks, and sometimes an alter tells you exactly where our missing birth certificate was (in a big white envelope tucked in between records on the tv stand/kallax shelf in the living room) (why the fuck was it there) (also why tf didnt you say smth sooner. Its been months)
We were on the bus, and we noticed the guy sitting in front of us had a big ass beetle on his jacket.
It was crawling along his back and down his shoulder, so after a bit of that we just kind of let it walk onto our wallet.
We let it go on the next seat, but the bus started getting full and we realized someone might sit on it. So now we had to pick it up again and fucking christ that beetle could move. We were rotating that wallet Constantly.
The people sitting behind us had witnessed this whole thing, so they knew what was going on. And I could tell that the beetle had their attention, so it kind of felt like we were in it together.
But they got off after a few stops, and new people got on. So we very quickly went from a modest hero that unfortunately acquired a beetle through vigilante justice to the Weirdo with a Bug.
I'm pretty sure that by the time we got off, nobody who'd seen how we got the bug was still on the bus. The guy sitting in front of us (bug origin point) stayed on the bus for longer than we did (any time is too long when you have a beetle that you don't want) but he didn't see me get the bug or leave with the bug. He never even knew there was a bug in the equation.
Anyway i dumped that thing on the ground as soon as I got off that bus. Be free I guess.
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Worst part of cofronting with my host is shit like this:
Me: texting someone. Minding my business
Lou: tell them I love them :3
Me:????? No???
Oh mister head gatekeeper, it seems like I cannot hear you over my segment blocking the front. How awfully unfortunate, truly. I guess I'll be left unattended for the evening.
Sometimes I hate being a persecutor. I hate how fucking angry I get when certain things are brought up. I just feel so alone because of it.
Someone really close to us brought up one of our dormant alters who I miss dearly. It brought me to the front and has just ruined me emotionally. Whenever I'm around we're just so angry and I hate that I bring rage with me where I go.
I feel the world smoulder under my feet. I feel like I have to be careful where I step or I'll crush our hosts relationships.