#dialogue help

Basic Format

Dialogue is easy to format. I think it’s one of the easiest things in writing to format (some would say paragraphs are, but paragraphs can be hard to figure out where to end).  This isn’t from a fic, but just a basic thing.

“I don’t want to dance,” Hinata said.

What is being said is in quotation marks.  There is a comma inside the quotation because punctuation goes in the quotation marks. The name of the character is capitalized like you would normally and is outside of the quotation marks and period happens at the end of the overall sentence (after said in this case).

When multiple people are speaking, each person will get their own paragraph.  This is to show someone new is talking to not confuse the reader.

“I don’t want to dance,” Hinata said.

“Why not?” Asked Yachi.

So each of them got their own paragraph, which made it easy to know who was talking.  I reversed asked and Yachi to show that is also something you can do. Just remember the key elements that punctuation for the dialogue stays in the quotation marks.

Dialogue Tags

A dialogue tag is basically what tells you who is speaking.  This is the most important thing in dialogue, because if you don’t have it, then no one knows what the fuck is going on.  Dialogue tags can be super simple to a little more complex.

Simple

Here is a line from Next to You.  It shows how it’s dialogue and then the tag ‘Keishin asked’.  

“What if I’m not as good as Fujii-san?” Keishin asked, and Y/N chuckled as he shook his head.

You can add things after it by either putting ‘and’ or starting a new sentence.  Here is an example of not continuing on the sentence by using ‘and’.  This is from Hold Me Tight.

“So, there is going to be a party,” Sugawara said.

Complex

Now we’re going to make dialogue tags be in the middle of two things being said by one person.  You’ve seen it a hundred times at least, so don’t think it’s actually complex.  I just couldn’t think of a better way to do it. I also want to say that there is a slight debate on whether or not to use a comma or period in some circumstances. I use a comma (I’ll show what I mean in a second) since it’s normal to me.

Here Keishin says something, the word said is used, and Y/N responds, which makes Keishin speak again.  I’ll do it the two ways it can be done, which is comma or period for the ending of the first phrase of dialogue.  I’ve recently read commas are supposed to be for continuing sentences (where it’s all one sentence of dialogue but is divided up) and periods for two separate sentences.  I just use commas regardless.

“No, it’s a compliment, dumbass,” Keishin said, and Y/N shoved his shoulder again because of the nickname.  “Sorry, let me say it again; it’s a compliment.”

or

“No, it’s a compliment, dumbass.” Keishin said, and Y/N shoved his shoulder again because of the nickname.  “Sorry, let me say it again; it’s a compliment.”

Action Beats

What are action beats you may be asking.  Well let me tell you all about them.  This is another thing that you’ve seen a hundred times, but just didn’t know the name for.  Basically, it’s when you use action as a dialogue tag and not an actual tag.  It sounds confusing, but let me show you the different ways.

Before the dialogue.  You know who is speaking because they do the action before they speak.

Hinata shrugged with a bright smile. “I don’t know!”

In the middle of dialogue.  Someone starts speaking, does something halfway through and continue to speak.

“It won’t be the same without you.” Tsukishima’s ears slowly started to tinge pink. “And it shouldn’t matter if someone is apparently better than you. You can get better too.”

You can do a mix of those two things as well.  This part can be the most complicated because it’s hard to know if you should do an action or not.  There’s also the question if the action should come after the entire line of the dialogue is said.

Unnecessary Dialogue Tags

So, get ready for this one because there will be some anger behind some of this.  This is personal preference to an extent, but also something I was taught in creative writing classes.

The tag ‘said’ does not need to be erased.

Stop trying to find any other word besides said to use.  Said is the best word to use because it kind of melts away when you read and helps the reader to just know who is talking.  Trying to find any other word than said can lead to dialogue tagging that makes the read stop a lot to try to understand what’s going on.  Just because you’re not using said doesn’t mean your dialogue is better.  At the end of the day, your dialogue is good if it feels natural and makes the story flow.

Before I continue, I do want to say that there are words other than said that are needed and I will go over those.

I absolutely hate this line.  ‘Raged viciously’ is ridiculous to put together because rage is already vicious and I don’t really know what raged sounds like.  Reading it makes me stop and question what’s going on. (Also, these next couple of passages are from my old writing.)

“Just shut up! Shut up! She’s not here, and it won’t change anything if she was!” Will raged viciously at his friend.

This next one is more contextual thing.  I didn’t need to put that ‘interrogated’ because that question alone can come off as aggressive.  Also, the fact I called it a comment instead of a question still drives me absolutely crazy three years later.  For this, I could’ve just put ‘asked’ and it would’ve worked better in my opinion. You don’t need the tag to 100% match the tone of the dialogue when it’s clear what the tone is.

“Doesn’t it bother you how we’re apparently not part of his life anymore?” Mike interrogated and Lucas scoffed at the comment.

Another contextual one.  I didn’t need to put ‘complimented’ because it’s a compliment.  If it was something that could come off harsh, then ‘complimented’ would work better, but it doesn’t here.

“You look really pretty today,” Will complimented Angelia.

Necessary Dialogue Tags

This is just going to be a list of ones I think are most used and best to use. I don’t think you guys want to see any more of my dialogue.

Said, asked, stuttered, yelled, screamed, mumbled, murmured, laughed, squeaked, giggled, cried, sniffled, choked, scoffed, muttered, stammered, and whispered.

These are ones I like.  Obviously you can hate the word said and use whatever you want to.  It’s not my writing, it’s yours.  There’s a lot you can do with your punctuation before you even figure out what kind of tag you want to use.

If there’s anything I didn’t cover that you want me to, then feel free to dm me.

Also, here are links of things about dialogue that I like.  I usually just look up whatever I need help with on Google and find something from there.  Just do research to get the best Dialogue you can have.

Dialogue Tags

 There are three types of dialogue: direct dialogue, indirect dialogue, and internal dialogue.

Direct dialogue is a person or character’s speech and is written between quotation marks. For instance, “You can have one cookie,” his mother said.

Indirect dialogue is a report or recount of someone speaking and is written into the description or blocking of a scene. For instance: His mother said he could have one cookie.

Internal dialogue is the equivalent of thought. It doesn’t need to be enclosed in quotation marks, but it can be written in different ways—some authors write thoughts in normal text font, others italicise it to set it apart from the narration.

 Direct dialogue is usually written with a dialogue tag, such as ‘said’, ‘whispered’, ‘muttered’, ‘shouted’, ‘stammered’, and all the other words that are synonymous.

 The first thing about punctuating dialogue is that dialogue always begins with a capitalised word, no matter whether the dialogue is before the dialogue tag or after it. The only exception to this is when interrupted dialogue resumes. (There are examples of all of these below.)

 It’s best to write dialogue in a paragraph of its own—you should start a new paragraph every time you change subject/focus (whether it’s a description of a character or setting, a new action, thought, or shifting focus from one character to another), place/setting, time, or a person’s dialogue. This helps distinguish shifts between characters, topics, and settings.

 When writing an uninterrupted single line of dialogue without a dialogue tag, the entire sentence including the punctuation (full stop, question mark, or exclamation point) at the end fit between the quotation marks. For example,

“Please don’t go.”

“What were you thinking?”

“No!”

If the dialogue is a single line of interrupted dialogue, the punctuation at the end of the sentence is replaced with an em dash (which is written by typing two hyphens/dashes without a space between the last word and the quotation marks—most writing programs will automatically correct it to a longer dash, however not all do). For example,

“Please don’t—"

 When writing a single line of dialogue with a dialogue tag following, you finish the dialogue with a comma inside the quotation mark and a full stop after the dialogue tag. The dialogue tag should be lower case unless it’s the person’s name (keep an eye out for this because if you’re writing on an iPad, iPhone or something else, it sometimes corrects it to a capital letter when it shouldn’t be).

“Please don’t go,” he begged.

“No,” Ryan replied.

If the dialogue is a question or a line that is amplified by an exclamation mark, they replace the comma with the question mark or exclamation mark, but make sure to keep the dialogue tag in lower case unless it’s a name.

“Do you have to go?” he asked.

“Shut up!” Alex bellowed.

When writing the dialogue tag first, the comma goes at the end of the dialogue tag, the dialogue is capitalised (because it’s a sentence in and of itself), and a full stop (or question mark or exclamation mark) at the end of the dialogue, but inside the quotation mark. For example,

He said, “I love you.”

These rules not only apply to dialogue in fiction, but also to quotes in essays. The only difference being, if you’re putting in a reference, you introduce the quote, insert the quote but leave out the punctuation at the end of the sentence (unless it’s a question mark), close the quotation marks and enter the reference and then put the period or punctuation mark on the outside of the reference. This clarifies that the reference belongs to that quote.

 When writing a single line of dialogue with a dialogue tag and action, the rules are similar to those above. The only difference is the dialogue tag is followed by a comma and an action if the tense shifts (if this is a bit confusing, I did write another post on shifting tenses here - that hopefully helps), or the action and tag are combined in one sentence.

“Are you coming or not?” he asked, pulling on his jacket.

“I’ll be right back,” he called over his shoulder as he ran towards the door.

If the dialogue tag goes before the dialogue, the action goes before the dialogue tag.

He reached out and gently brushed a stand of hair back behind her ear, whispering, “You’re safe now. I promise.”

She turned and screamed, “Run!”

 When the dialogue is split into two sentences, things get a little more complicated. If a line of dialogue is interrupted by a dialogue tag and then resumes the same sentence, you put a comma at the end of the first line (inside the quotation mark) and after the dialogue tag (and action if included) before resuming the dialogue in lower case. For example,

“We went to the carnival,” Mike said, “and I got to ride the Ferris wheel.”

“I wanted so badly to make you proud,” he said, fighting back tears, “but you never cared.”

When separating the line of dialogue into two sentences, you do the same as above, but replace the comma that comes after the dialogue tag (or action) with a full stop and capitalise the start of the dialogue that follows.

“He needed you,” she said. “But you were never there.”

“We’re too late,” she said, sitting back from his still body. “He’s gone.”

This, however, changes if the action comes first. In this case, the first part of the dialogue ends in a full stop, the sentence including the action is capitalised and ends in a comma after the dialogue tag.

“That could actually work.” He stood up and turned to face Noah, adding, “But I’m still mad at you.”

“Shut up!” He waited for the room to fall silent before continuing, “If we’re going to do this, then we have to do it right.”

 If dialogue is interrupted by an action or a thought with no dialogue tag, there are two ways of writing it.

If the action or thought interrupts the single line of dialogue, you end the first part of the sentence without punctuation and then put the action or thought between two em dashes. For example,

“We were meant to be a team”—at least she thought they were—“but you were only in this for yourself.”

If the dialogue can be split into two sentences, then the punctuation is similar to the earlier examples, except the commas are replaced with full stops. For example,

“I love you.” He paused, letting out a deep sigh. “I’ve always loved you.”

“Jack?” He sounded surprised. “What are you doing here?”

 If you write a line of dialogue that trails off, the rules are the same as your usual line of dialogue except you use and ellipsis (…) instead of a comma at the end of the dialogue. For example,

“I don’t remember…”

“If only…” he whispered.

“Maybe if I…” His voice trailed off as he began to tinker with the machine.

 If you write a line of dialogue that follows an action but has no dialogue tag, then you use regular sentence structures (with full stops). For example,

He patted her head. “Don’t ever change, kid.”

 The final rule is don’t overload your paragraphs. Try and stick to one or two segments of dialogue per paragraph—whether it’s a line of dialogue with an action or dialogue tag, or two parts of dialogue split by a dialogue tag, thought, action or description.

An example of what not to do—

“Alright.” His father rose from his chair, shoving the last bite of his toast into his mouth as he dumped the plate in the sink and grabbed his jacket and a traveller mug of coffee. “I need to head off to work. If you’re looking for Alex, he’s working an extra shift at the gas station,” he called over his shoulder as he headed towards the door. “I’ll see you when I get back tonight.”

If you were to fix this, you’d just need to break it up more.

“Alright.”

His father rose from his chair, shoving the last bite of his toast into his mouth as he dumped the plate in the sink and grabbed his jacket and a traveller mug of coffee.

“I need to head off to work. If you’re looking for Alex, he’s working an extra shift at the gas station,” he called over his shoulder as he headed towards the door. “I’ll see you when I get back tonight.”