scientists that work on string theory , multiple universes, and the possibilities that are contained within them are not even scientists because that's really just math. thats why i don't care about half of hawking's theories because its all just blown out math bullshit. the only reason i care about him is his conviction and dedication… or his willpower…  didn't hawking create string theory? no. he just wrote about it. but didn't he use to describe his whole big bang thing? no not really but yea its in there cause the big bang was created by the collision of two strings. right exactly so thats why it's useless. 

yeah, so what i think is more important than spending time on all these theories of our existence is measuring our willpower so we can allocate more energy and resources to those with the stronger will.

ok… cool. so how is the will power measured?  

there must be a reference point and a scale. sure. but what is will? freedom of choice? no, freedom is an illusion. so then its the awareness of choice, but choice is too specific because what about Instinct? 

but isnt the ability of going against instinct, an act of will power? 

but isnt it instinctual to go against our own instincts ????

FUCK! ok then it comes down to awareness. so wait. ok.

what is something that has no will? a drone or something that's not self aware of possibility. because if its a drone its only operating on a set of pre-determined/predefined functions. unaware of the choices it has or outside possibilities. 

so it can not learn?… it can only learn what its been programmed to. RIGHT, but no. because. thats where will power comes back in again. we're not talking about computers here. we're talking about people and curiosity cuts through programming. 

its will power that makes you curious. 

alright.. the survival instinct is measured by will power and will power is determination, but how do you measure will power? this is irritating because the first thing that comes to mind, is resilience and fortitude. but with the ability to go against your own instincts, but THIS ISNT A MEASUREMENT. 

we need reference points and a scale. does that mean fucking LIFE AND DEATH!? ARE YOU KIDDING!? WE HAVE TO WAIT OUR ENTIRE LIVES TO KNOW HOW FUCKING STRONG OUR FUCKING WILL WAS?!? BULLSHIT. 

anything you measure is a relative thing. FINE ok what about a smaller timeline but then wont your god damn will get used up? or does it regenerate? FUCK.

you're a kid and you get the shit kicked out of you for a period of time then you turn 26 and then it expires. not always but sometimes. or does it regenerate, im back to that again fuck ! 

ok so its not a constant, its a variable and if its a variable its part of an equation which connects to the idea of having a measurement for Will Power itself ! RIGHT.

SO WHERE IS IT GOD DAMMIT. wheres the scale whats the scale how the fuck do you measure it. this is ridiculous. 

so come up with the equation of the scale. ok. so what. 

• trial and error : 

Trial - the # of times your willpower has been tested. 

Error - the ratio of recovery in relation to the amount of destruction sustained. 

i think we can assume that everybody has a baseline of survival. so that would be a constant. 

this sucks. it has to be life. this really sucks. you can not. measure. your will. until its fucking over. and if you puss out and kill yourself. 

no wait. you can not say that killing yourself is pussing out, because it depends on WHY you are killing yourself and the degree of certainty you have when you are killing yourself. so suicide is not relevant and neither is the length of life.

so the time scale of life is irrelevant because there are forces that destroy the will and forces that slowly ebb away at the will. so these all need to be accounted for in the equation. but what is the GOD DAMN EQUATION?! 

the equation has things that ebb away and are immediately highly destructive to your will and they both affect the survival instinct…  but also - hang on because - if a child pets a kitten. and the kitten is soft. and it feels good. and it makes the child feel good. he may feel more inclined to endure the pain with the possibility of petting the kitten again. but only the softs cause those other non soft kittens can go fuck themselves.

so it comes down... to value of experience. regardless of pain or pleasure both are necessary for furthering the instincts.  

but "value" is the measurement of will power. depending on how much you value whatever it is you value, your will power will continue to advance flourish and thrive.

War. war. is the measurement. of will power. jesus fucking christ.... one value against another.  so what war does altruism wage ? a war against your own selfishness? a war against your survival instincts?

but this wraps back around to personal values. and some people don't even value loyalty, for example - and altruism is based upon loyalty.

loyalty for what? whatever it is you've perceived as worthy of your god damn allegiance apparently! right? so that leaves you with only will power again. 

but why dont you think people don't value loyalty?

because i've seen it and ive known people who don't value loyalty.

but you said people. not some people. well thats the shitty thing about human nature. we all essentially connect within these same paradigms. because even i myself have been one of those people to reject loyalty and i know it but mostly i've experienced it from the outside and i think that anyone who analyzes their life could also say so.

so you had a moment of weakness that went against your willpower? no. my will power aimed and pushed me away from the loyalty based upon a degree of survival instinct.  (oh jesus)

and survival instinct, which is generally the will power of the highest authority... tends to be beaten out only by altruism. 

but also someone could value anti-loyalty. which is what?

faithlessness. ...holy shit.... holy shit.

but there's faith in science. no, i dont think there is faith in science, at least there shouldn't be - science is science, it should be no more and no less than what IS.

SO. IS_ Value. the WILLPOWER TO DEFINE. what IS?

or what IS can be defined by the Value of ones Willpower? 

the more value you place on something, the more will power it takes to sustain the value.... and will power is measured by... time which is still a fucking illusion.. god. dammit.

fuck...  intensity? willpower can be measured by. intensity.

Is that it? Intensity? it makes sense but is it right. but intensity is still a relative term - and thats okay. because each being has its own individual willpower but placed against one another yet again.... we're back to war.

however, there is no permanent finite measurement. or value. for willpower. because it can increase and fade at different points during existence. 

duration indicates linear: start and an end...  so will power's confinement or scale is duration. and the measurement is. vibrancy. output.  

so you measure willpower, by vibrancy - at any given point and time - regardless of value system or perception. 

so Vibrancy is the answer to the measurement of willpower. and vibrancy is willpower. 

so gravity is up its own ass, because we can explain it but we cant explain where it comes from so fuck the theory of the graviton because you can't even find it.  yeah , but we cant find other universes and that doesn't mean they don't exist.  right. true.

but thats outside. but its a nightmare and a fucking horrible idea to limit whats inside of our own attainable universe.  but wouldn't finding a graviton help us move beyond it now that we would understand it better? 

yes. but until then.  STOP BEING SO IMPATIENT. 

NO. because. no. cause with the LAW of Gravity for example you limit the god damn possibility that it could be a brick wall at the end of that road and who knows how much time we lost after that LAW was openly accepted.  

but nobody eliminated that possibility. well they did, because they called a law !  but that goes back to the definition of law - no because regardless of the definition, the laws are defined by us. we choose and its understandable that we accepted this law so that people can comprehend what they perceive and not go completely fucking crazy. 

Doesn't it suck that its so frustrating to move beyond the  limits of perception. no way - it doesn't suck. thats the fun part just not while its actually happening. the insanity i mean. 

the fun part is breaking through because looking back on it even if you died in the process or never came back from insanity — other people looking back on it from their side may enjoy the madness !

and according to Laing, :Madness need not be all breakdown. It may also be break-through… liberation and renewal as well as enslavement and existential death."

so existential death is the absence of will power. . . 

and that explains the certain type of madness response from becoming aware of new possibilities and probabilities that are beyond developed senses and comprehension. like experiencing god. 

is that the end of it? yeah.