#detroidbecomehuman

*Markus crashes rather ungraciously into Jericho.*

Markus: bitch my fucking back

Simon: Lucy may I have the pleasure of knowing one thing from you?...

Lucy: of course dear Simon.

Simon: what the fuck is straight???

North: this bitch really thin-

Markus: I’ve been wondering that as wel-

North: oh hell n-

Simon: hoe I swear I will fight yo-

Josh: when did this turn into dating simulator?

*sees both simon and north holding machetes and about to engage in a sword fight, Markus nervously sweats on the sidelines*

Josh: when was somebody gonna tell me we had machetes.

north: your a pacifist fuck

Josh:🥺

Lucy: welp while you guys were going yandere simulator on each others asses we managed to fucking earn rights for androids. Who knew that our saviour wouldn’t be able to do shit because y’all be horny fuckers who wouldn’t let him move fucking ra9 save these peasants.

*savage Lucy mode unlocked*

Connor randomly: goodbye,I’m the anime sent by scoobydoo.

Hank: fuckin androids

[...]

me and my friend were just talking about this and i sent her a tiktok that i saw under the detroit become human tag where she asked how to pronounce Elon’s baby’s name and her caption said that it sounded like a android’s model number from dbh.

and then my friend said that Elon reminded her of a real life kamski. i could not agree any less😂.

~Hogwarts Houses~

—————//—————

Some headcanons + Moodboards:

Markus:

Captain of the Gryffindor Qudditch team.

He’s a Chaser.

Likes wearing flannel shirts.

Because’s he’s gay.

For Simon.

Always gets the newest broom that comes out.

Talks about qudditch waayy too much.

Is practically a big soft jock.

Sticks up for the underdog.

Despite his fierce passion for Qudditch he loves his painting (obvi).

Care free spirit.

Leader material.

Most of the girls still have a crush on him even though he’s openly gay. Makes the straight guys question themselves sometimes.

Was once dared to do a strip tease for the whole Qudditch team during a rather rowdy party one time in his sixth year.

The team couldn’t look him in the eye for a solid two weeks without blushing terribly and running off.

Sometimes runs into situations without thinking.

People think his heterochromia is pretty.

Pretty much the only ‘hetero’ thing about him.

Is quite good at Divination.

Is quite good at most things.

Josh:

Bookworm through and through and proud of it.

Helps everyone with their homework.

But kinda ends up doing it all himself without really thinking.

The people he helps take full advantage.

Both parties end up getting in trouble once teachers find 20 different essays with the same hand writing as THE star student that gets top marks in every class.

A first year cannot already know this much about dragon scales and write a detailed paragraph in an already six page long essay.

Is good at debating about literally anything.

Once had a debate about wether or not pink and white marshmallows tasted the same or different.

It was quite lengthy and people actually watched and participated in said debate.

Loves mineral crystals/rocks.

Has a nice collection in his dorm.

Head boy for Ravenclaw

Ace asf!

Books are his life tbh.

A few people still have small crushes on him though because he’s a cutey.

Has daily arguments with North.

Doesn’t matter what it is they will have a spat.

But their still good friends though.

They have competitions to see who can start the most arguments in a week.

Gives the teachers headaches.

Someone is always randomly appointed to keep score.

Once that person is found, said person then has to follow the pair around to keep track of the many quarrels.

A third year was once found hiding in a corner of a fifth year potions class with a piece of parchment clutched in their hands keeping score.

Josh and North had the most lengthy arguments in that class that day.

The third year was proud to be keeping score.

Dedication.

Josh will come at you with random facts and information out of the blue because that’s him.

Will hound you if you don’t do your work.

Stylish motherfucker.

Rocks the Crew-neck-over-collared-shirt look.

North:

The bomb at potions.

Can literally make a potion to a fucking T.

Swears like the pettiest sailor you’ve ever met.

If she’s lost an argument with Josh,she’ll make up some rumour to say she won.(Josh does not appreciate these rumours).

Fucking owns fishnet stockings.

Is a bi queen, but has too many crushes on girls to notice guys exist. Has probably had a crush on like 2 guys in her lifetime.

Firewhiskey is the way to go!!

Whips people in the face with her hair, but claims it’s an accident and that her hair had a mind of its own at that moment in time.

Hates Arithmancy.

Almost set fire to the Slytherin common room once.

In second year.

Because she was doing ‘something’ and things just got out of control for some reason.

Was actually trying to brew a seventh year potion but like...it didn’t work.

Can brew a seventh year potion with ease as a third year though(cause she learnt from her mistakes).

A food fight broke out between Ravenclaw and Slytherin after North and Josh would not finish their daily arguments and North threw a potato at Josh’s head.

Will break your nose if you insult her.

Will love you to the ends of the earth if your not an incompetent fool and she likes you.

Can sang!

Tried to play Qudditch but almost fell off her broom during her first match.

Never played again after that.

Josh commented later that if she had somehow managed to injure herself beyond repair he would have no one to argue with.

North found this rather touching.

Likes to be fashionably late for class.

Once wore a onesie to transfiguration.

It had little snakes on it.

Simon:

Big softie.

Has the softest hair ever.

Everyone wants to know his secret but he always says it’s natural.

And it truly is.

Is very good at playing guitar.

Sits in the hufflepuff common room every Friday night and sings songs.

People join him in duets or group performances.

North pops in as well.

Very aesthetically pleasing.

Also very gay for Markus.

Loves dancing like a crazy maniac.

Very supportive of Markus during his Qudditch games.

Even if his house is facing Gryffindor he will abandon them and sit with the lions.

Will then promptly apologise to his house later on but nobody minds because it’s Simon.

However if some else does it that’s just not on.

Loves to drink butterbeer.

Eats too many sweets from Honeydukes.

Has a rather large chocolate frog collection.

Some people have theories that he may have some Veela blood in him because he’s just soooo pretty and handsome!!!

Is nice to literally everyone.

Likes going to visit the house elves and see how their doing.

Loves flowers and has a collection of different pressed flowers in a book.

Always has flowers with him for dates with Markus.

Best at giving hugs.

Only one that can calm North or Josh after they’ve had a particularly bad argument and gets them both to apologise to each other.

No one knows why he even bothers when the both of them go back to arguing a day later.

The first years in hufflepuff absolutely love him.

Calms Markus’s reckless streak at times.

Markus is grateful to have him as his boyfriend.

Is just an all round good guy.

jericrew// josh|north|markus|simon \\jericrew

~leaders of the revolution~

//PJ500|WR400|RK200|PL600\\

Four androids whose shoulders bored the futures of their people.

Markus: Is just so warm. He just radiates so much warmth it’s not even funny. Gives really nice hugs. The others always come to him when their having a bad day and he just gives them a big long cuddle till they feel better,(he sometimes adds in little pecks here and there). He’s obviously very creative since becoming a deviant and after leading a successful revolution (the pacifist way of course) he picks up art again and he does these amazing paintings of his friends and the old jericho hold where everything started and he just loves it. Carl is a great mentor to him and someone Markus looks up to. Things are still rocky with Leo but the man starts coming around more often. Alice likes watching Markus paint. Markus is very fashionable. Has the best outfits and is always complimented left right and center. Can be a bad bitch, but is a very tall smol bean when with the ones he loves. Is an amazing cook and starts to learn to cook thirium based dishes so that everyone can eat when he holds weekly dinner get-togethers at Carl’s.(Ralph can’t keep his hands of Markus’s exceptionally wonderful thirium cookies.)

North: She’s a ball of fire, we all know this. Is quite good at giving people advice. Despite wanting to off humans,(and still ready to if need be), she is slowly starting to accept things. She frees the rest of the WR400’s and HR400’s from the Eden Club and helps them to set themselves up for a life with the help of Ripple and Echo. Finds she quite likes sports and pretty much anything that involves physical activity like dancing, swimming, martial arts, all that stuff. Got incredibly flustered when she first met Kara, her systems stuttered for a bit. Luther and Alice have been trying to get them together ever since. Kara is oblivious and North is just shy(surprisingly). Still gets butterflies around her boys though and almost tripped over herself when she went to shake hands with Chloe. Adam introduced her to grunge during one of Markus’s dinners and she adopted it as her style from that day on. Can create the most on fleek hair styles and does Alice’s hair a lot because the girl is too cute to refuse and North likes doing it because it feels therapeutic. Hank, Rose, Adam and Alice are the only humans she likes.

Josh: Major geek. Loves reading and learning new things, not surprising since he was a uni lecturer. Is always up to date with all the latest trends and news. Has a large selection of knitted sweaters and hoodies. North and Markus always steal at least one of his jerseys a week and Simon asks permission before skipping off with one of his knitted sweaters. They all seem to have their favourites tho. North likes touching his skin a lot because it’s so smooth and a nice rich chocolate brown. The others follow her lead after a while. Is good friends with Luther. Teaches Alice how to math!(much to kara’s appreciation). King of the golden hour. Him and North became closer after everything, still have small spats over little things tho. Pokes fun at her for being a disaster around girls. But also doesn’t blame her cause like damn! Drinks way too much thirium infused coffee. Loves movies as well. Got triggered when Rose didn’t move over in Titanic and had a hour long rant despite getting things thrown at him telling him to shut up. Gets Markus to teach him how to play the piano even tho he can easily just search it up or something, gets Luther and Adam to join and they become a little singing group. Weekly dinner nights are lit. Hank ended up joining in and sang his own opera inspired rendition of Bitch Better Have My Money by Rihanna. Everyone was impressed. Josh recruited him to their singing group aswell. Is a fucking smart boi! Some of North’s friends hit on him once. He almost fainted.

Simon: After the revolution Simon is a lot more out there because he’s fucking alive with the people he loves and cares about and he’s just happy! Has a peaceful aura so when someone just want to relax they come and sit with him in a nice, comfortable silence. Cooks with Markus but also uses it as a past time. Ususally has some random plates of baking he takes around to everyone. Makes sure that the thirium based stuff is separated from the normal dishes. Has regular gossip sessions with Rose. Absolutely loves children and comes up with the best games to play. Is always seen running around with the other YK500’s. Alice (who i headcannon as a human ) helps him sometimes to come up with stuff to do with the other children. Alice also brings he friends from school and they all just hang out and be kids together. The others think it’s adorable. Simon once saw his old owners and their children and went to greet them. The children recognised him and ran and embraced him and said they missed him and asked him where he had gone. Simon cried and said he had just gone somewhere else for a bit and that he missed them too and he commented on how big they had gotten. The parents were wary of him but upon seeing the interaction greeted him like a person. Wears at least one article of clothing that’s yellow because it’s his favourite color. Wants to adopt all the children in the foster system and ends up going in and helping out instead because he wasn’t allowed to, which was a shame. But the kids love him nevertheless. Adopts Daniel as his bro. Everyone once went about a whole week whispering the most cheesiest and romantic things to Simon on passing and some even went as far as writing him little notes. Apparently it had been an experiment to see how fluster the blonde could get. Let’s just say he was permanently red through those whole 7 days. (It was Markus’s idea).

This turned very self indulgent but eh.

✨edit✨

detroit: become human