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The Witness is reeeeally lucky there was no wind inside the Traveller
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There's a new character in Destiny named Lodi/Louis who's kind of like if an X-Files agent from the 1970s got isekai'd into the 5000s and one of my favorite things is him highlighting how utterly bizarre the Destiny universe is at times
I just think they should have fucked with him more,
Guardian (Blank-faced): "What the hell is bread? We eat flour raw- here's some (offers a handful of salt)" Lodi (aghast, feeling slightly weak): "Noooo…. thank you. I'll have to… show you. Later." Guardian (shrugs): "Suit yourself. (Shoves entire handful of salt into mouth and swallows) Lodi (power walks away): "oh nooo oh noo" ======== Cayde-6 (brandishing gun): "Oh this? THis is the Ace of Spades." Lodi: "Oh neat, like the playing card." Cayde-6: "What? No, the Spade is a legendary weapon born in the flames of Ca'Sino to win battles of profit and war- the Ace was said to be a legendary fighter who bore the Spade to absolute victory" Lodi (Politely): "Wow. Interesting tale." ======== Lodi: Do you guys have any Beatles? Guardian: Oh haha yeah, the Eliksni band? Their asmont (trans: drummer) goes fucking putrid on goatske (trans: a type of goat skin drum) Lodi: That is too many words to parse. I'm going to bed. ========= Lodi (Furious): YOU GUYS CAN'T BELIEVE ANTARCTICA IS A MYTH1!!!!! YOU HAVE!!!! SPACESHIPS!!!! TAKE A GANDER MFERS ITS AT THE SOUTH POLE!!!! LOOK NORTH AND THEN DOWNNNN!!!!! Guardian: Oh we call that "No bears land" Lodi (digesting that the translation for Antarctica has remained but not the original name): (completely silent) Guardian: Of course, bears being mythical furry beasts, akin to Paul Bunyan or Rickard Nixon. Lodi (on the verge of a stroke): (continues silence) Ghost: He's kidding. We know Paul Bunyan was real. He was a member of the Les Beets, along with Jonny Putin and Ringo Starr. Ikora: It's true, I've seen the pictures.
Luzaku is love Luzaku is life
My hunter would die for Luzaku
Based off of a convo in my destiny groupchat about the little servitors
First vanguard op
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Lodi: what a nice sunny summer day
IX: 👀👅
Lodi: on a second thought-
THREAT LEVEL OMEGA!
That quirked up THING is bussin it down replicant style in the lower stacks! Is it goated with the anomaly?
Me when I first played Destiny a few months ago: "Why on God's green earth do I play this heaping pile of flaming garbage—"
Me when I play destiny now: "Did I spawn in a tower instance with Crow? HEYYYY LOOK IT'S MY FAVORITE EMO BIRD BOY—"
"GOOD DAY MY GLORIOUS SAINT-14"
"Papi Zavala give me something good please I BEG" "He's giving Mint Retrogrades" "ZAVALA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MWAH"
"I miss Cayde, I'm not finishing the final shape DLC I don't care he's sitting there forever" "Kidnapping but Exo edition" "I'm going to put him in a pokeball"
"I play two titans, Get behind me Sentinel and whatever the fuck this thundercrash insanity is"
"Ikora is the tower beige mom"
"THE VEX HAVE STOLEN MY MEGABYTES GIVE ME BACK MY INTERNET"
"Cayde gambled away my braincells for glimmer and now I have none"
"Crow with his yee yee ass haircut" "You have the same haircut" "WhY dO yOU tHiNk I MaKe FuN oF hiM"
"Ghost shut up or you're going back into the backpack"
"I am a Titan main but I will forever want to deck saladman he irritates me"
"IKORAAAAA GIVE ME MY FRAGMENTSSSS"
"CAN I HAVE GLINT I WANT HIMMMM" "Imagine just trading ghosts" "CAN I TRADE MY GHOST"
"They animated the tongue in Suraya's bird... What the helly—"
"The fact his first job as hunter vanguard was actually a bureaucratic nightmare" "I miss Cayde, he would've just blasted everything" "BRO THAT'S WHY HE'S DEAD" "He DID IT FOR THE LOVE OF THE GAMEEEE"
"If I unplugged Clovis would anyone notice—"
"I CANNOT LOOK HOMELESS VANITY IS THE TRUE ENDGAME"
"ADA-1 WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR ME TODAY!"
"Shaxx is like the halo announcer, but more clinically insane" "I need him to say killamanjaro PLEASE"
"DEVRIM KAY MY FAVORITE BRITISH SNIPER" "WHERE FOR ART THOU COOKIES AND TEA"
"Cayde swears little to none and here I am remembering very clearly Sergeant Edward Buck literally going: 'I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS' and 'MIKE FOXTROT' with enough racist vitriol towards the covenant it makes Cayde look holy"
"I wanna slap Zavala's bald ass head"
"DID MY GHOST SPEAK FUCKING GERMAN??? WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN????"
"Lodi is a nerd and I mean that as a slur" (Me also a nerd and a STEM major)
"Haha forbidden meatloaf" (Talking about the parasite)
"MARA WAS SO DONE HER HAIR DIDN'T EVEN WANNA LOAD INTO THE CUTSCENE"
"RAHOOL YOU BLOODY SLUT I GAVE YOU HOW MANY ENGRAMS AND ALL OF THEM WERE SHIT ROLLS" (Me rerolling my Cuirass exotic 20+ times; my friends had just joined the call at the time and almost died laughing)
"Others have mommy or daddy issues and here's crow having sister issues—"
"His 'psst, guardian, come here' is everything to me. I'm going to squeeze him until his head explodes"
"Zavala doesn't have a last name he is simply Zavala"
"'Come on, let's establish a rapport' being my earworm is gnarly"
"Ikora living the isekai pipeline on god SAY HI TO TRAIN-KUN"
