Dating Richie Tozier Would Include...
- After that, as the school year went on, the group he hung around clicked into place and you were happy to be part of it.
- Bill, Stan and Eddie were confused at why you and Richie suddenly liked each other, but they grew to like you too.
- Sass competitions. All the time.
- Getting Richie out of trouble is your job, usually.
- *Richie, with his heavily ruffled hair, bleeding lip and bruised EVERYTHING.* “I ran into a lamp post?”
- “…You know how Patrick Hockstetter always brings vodka to school?”
- “I may or may not have replaced it with vinegar. And bug replant.”
- “I…I can’t even complain that sounds amazing.”
- Stealing wearing his glasses.
- He acts pissed off but secretly thinks it’s kinda hot.
- You help him when his mom having an episode, which happens a lot. Richie actually likes spending the night at your house because:
+ Kissing sometimes gets heated, in the best way
+ You randomly boop his nose because fuck it he’s so cute
- When his mom is completely out of control he comes to your house with a hand shaped bruise on his cheek and you feel the urge to march right back to his house and punch her.
- You tried to help but he wouldn’t look you in the eye.
- Gently stroking his bruised cheek until he calms down.
- Richie doesn’t think you noticed that his eyes were red and watery but you did.
+ He’s the little spoon when he’s sad ‘cuz he likes to have your arms around his waist and you hug him from the back like a koala. You usually sling one leg over his hip and pull him closer
+ Falling sleep on the couch
- You knew he only cussed to get the attention his mother never gave him, and you cussed right along with him so he wouldn’t feel alone. You knew that he needed attention so you gave it to him.
- Getting super defensive when people at school call him “Bucky Beaver” because of his buck teeth and glasses.
- You never call him this in public for the sake of his “trashmouth, practical joker” imagine but in private his nickname is Bambi because of his big doe eyes.
+ “I swear to god if you call me that one more ti-”
+ He secretly loves how softly you say it.
- You never told the other Losers that you were dating him, until Ben walked in on the two of you making out kissing a bit.
- To quote Ben: “I’m not even going to ask.”
- Over the summer you get a hammock
+ Sleeping on Richie’s chest
+ This boi has one foot on the ground so he can rock the hammock to keep you asleep
+ Cuz he thinks you look adorable when you’re dreaming
- When the missing children reports become too frequent Richie holds your hand a little bit tighter.
- You weren’t there when he was attacked by “It” but you knew something was wrong the moment you saw him.
- When he found a missing kid poster with his face on it in the Neibolt House, you were the one to tell him it wasn’t real. He wouldn’t be forgotten like the other kids as long as you were alive to remember.
+ Also you MAY have grabbed the paper, torn it to pieces, thrown the torn bits on the floor and stomped on them like a rabid donkey. For good measure.
+ *Richie has never felt so many emotions at the same time in his life*
- When Bill and Richie get into a fight after Neibolt House you were there to pick Richie off the ground but he swats your hand away.
- You’re shocked because no one will listen to you and Beverly.
- Trying to explain that IT will kill all of you if you split up. It’s no use. Even Richie stomps away.
- You attempt to pull him back to Bill so they could work it out but he nearly throws you to the ground to get your hand off his arm.
+ So, since his rudeness rubbed off on you, you punched him
- And for the entire month that the Losers were split up, so were you and Richie.
- To get your mind off all the clown shit you went to the arcade. Well a humdidum dumbass is what you are because the arcade is where Richie is. ALL. THE. TIME.
- But again, his stubbornness rubbed off on you, so even when you saw him, you refused to leave and resorted to avoiding him. You weren’t sure if he saw you; he was really into his game.
- And at 10:30, when the arcade was technically closed, he was still inside. He probably gave the owner money to let him stay.
+ The arcade to Richie was like a bar to adults; a way to forget.
- You sat on the curb outside the arcade, sipping a slushie. You were supposed to go home, but since the clown at Neibolt you were scared of the flickering street lamps that lined your way home, and the arcade and other shops gave off a nice, bright light.
+ It was comforting in a way. Very aesthetic.
- And Richie almost falls down on the curb next to you
- You want to be mad, but he looks so tired from staring at a screen all day, although you suspect the video games aren’t the reason his eyes are glassy.
- “Out of house or arcade?”
- You stand up and hand him the slushie, which he sips gratefully.
- He looks exactly like a puppy, with huge brown eyes and messy hair. Well, a puppy in glasses, anyway.
- “If I’m leaving, you’re leaving with me.”
- Richie gives you a sleepy smile and takes you hand.
+ The entire way to your house he slumps against you, sometimes falling asleep mid step and his head falls on your shoulder.
- This boi. This fUCKING BOI. WHO PLAYED VIDEO GAMES FOR EIGHT HOURS STRAIGHT. IS USING YOU AS A PILLOW.
- At one point he closes his eyes and walks with them closed, his cheek pressed against your shoulder for support.
- Remember those nights when he comes over after a really bad day? This is one of them.
- So for the night, you and him are too tired to think about the huge fight.
- In the morning tho, you wake up to slightly burnt bacon and very burnt toast.
- Which would be nice, but..
- “How did you burn the toast but not the bacon? The toaster has a TIMER.”
- “It’s called Satan’s charcoal bread dispenser and you’re welcome.”
+ He’d feel soo bad for fighting with you??? Like, REALLY BAD
+ I mean, you did punch him in the face, so you and him were kinda even, but he still did all this extra shit
+ Sharing chocolate stolen from the store
+ Braiding your hair and you’re like “Richie??? You’re very good with your hands???”
- Yeah… you probably shouldn’t have said that.
- Richie never stops smirking. Holy fuck.
- “You know what else I can do wit-”
- “NO! Nope! No, no, no. Keep doin’ what you’re doing and shut up.”
- Really though, no fucking white paper-ass motherfucking bitchass dumbass pixie stick addict looking clown with a shitty pumpkin guts Halloween wig could break you and Richie apart. Period.
