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how do you reconnect to life after being disconnected for so long
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(I wrote an entire personal essay about this a while back.)
"α΄‘Κα΄Κα΄ α΄ α΄ Κα΄α΄ α΄‘α΄Ι΄Ι΄α΄ Ι’α΄ α΄α΄α΄ α΄Κ?"
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π£πππ¬βΆ π©ππ¦
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ππΈ:ππ¦π³π¦π’ππͺπ»π’π΅πͺπ°π―.
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It's so weird that everyone lives a whole life and then eventually dies. Like then you're just gone, it's so weird to me.
Derealization/depersonalization episodes will make you say stuff like: "where did this boyfriend come from, you weren't here 5 minutes ago" β and the "5 minutes" were actually 2 weeks
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Just realised Jesterβs whole thing of derealising/depersonalising in the way of coping by convincing themselves theyβre fictional has been around much longer than Mold fully manifesting and that theyβre not JUST the social part. Like the Jester complex goes much deeper than just craving attention and sometimes getting it by making a fool of themselves.
Like everything bad that used to happen to them used to be because the universe itself was toying with them by pulling the rug out from underneath them when they were stable and happy because of the need to rationalise and find reason in senseless bad luck. And they would convince themselves that they were a self-aware fictional character and that maybe it was the author toying with them the way people write more and more trauma for their ocs.
Like I knew this was all a thing before hand these are not NEW memories just. It makes sense now. Turns out the whole βahahah its okay because Iβm not real! Im just a fictional silly guy!β is not all that new. Syscovery bring more realisations to the table folks
So, derealisation is a thing that tends to come with dissociative disorders, right? That feeling that the world isn't real. A common way of describing it, at least for us, is a feeling of the world being "poorly rendered". Here's a method I use to kick it in the ass when it flares up out of nowhere
Stop for a second. Sit down, if you can. Take a breath. Focus on how the air feels in your lungs. Focus on how the thing you're sat on feels. Is it cold? Warm? Rough?
Look around you. I'm not going to ask you to "name five things" because that's relatively well known and doesn't help when things feel fake, at least for us.
Look for one item. A stick, a stone, even something like your phone will do. Really look at it. Look at every detail you can. If it's a stick, pick off some of the bark. Feel the dirt between your fingers. Look at the fibers between the outer bark and the wood. Make a mental note of how each piece is made up of other pieces. If it's a stone, look at all the divets, all the different colours. Find another and smash them together, feel the vibrations go through your hands. Really look at the details of this item.
Sometimes, depending on how the derealisation feels, just seeing how detailed the world is can help. At least, it's helped us. It might not help if you feel like you're dreaming, but in a game or a simulation, it might. In a poorly rendered world, why is there so much detail?
The thing about the "Mr Puzzles gives me sketch ideas and helps getting me out of artblock and depression"β’ continues, yeah.. :^
So today it's my oc (*cough cough* definitely not a self insert *cough cough*) not having it good 'cause she has all my traumas and disorders, and Mr Puzzles bonding with her over their childhood spent in front of the TV
