#depressing text

The night is cold and i feel that i’m getting engulfed by an eternal darkness that won’t go away. The day is bright but i can’t see the light, the purpose for doing things…

I feel empty, hollow, no purpose in my life, i feel empty till an extent where i stopped caring and started to pick up my bottles of beer and resorted to drinking, picked up a few rubber bands to shoot my thighs until my arms are tired. I tried to talk to others about it but words are stuck… in my throat, they couldn’t come out regardless what i do. Laid down on my bed crying as i write this. No one knows what i’m going through… no one understands… not even myself.

As i looked up at the ceiling i can see as though monsters are looking at me intensely, doing a staredown with my already broken self. I looked to the left and i see my past demons and self looking at me with disgust as though my old self wished that i didn’t exist, the demons just want to run away from me. I look at my right and i see my stash of bands waiting to be stretched and be pelted against my skin. I look around and i see nothing… just an empty void. With my supressed emotions still lingering at the back of my head itching to be released, i held it back, fearing the worst possible outcome if someone or something from somewhere could see that breakdown of my mental state.