#depressedly

i want to be desired so badly it's killing me but sex is so difficult to practice. i can't relax. i cant do anything interesting. pleasure is reduced due to my depression as well as previous physical trauma. but i just want to feel the way i did before schizoaffective set in again. it's not even like i feel insecure being abnormal and not desirable (though i do) as much as it is i know how it can feel, and i feel its absence. my therapist says he is not qualified to help me through this which i believe but am disappointed by.