#densimber

SURPRISE!!!!

We're back for another Densimber December!! It was kinda a last minute decision, but @ejzah is planning stories, and I'm planning gifs, and anyone else who wants to join in can!!! <333

Fandom: NCIS LA

Characters: Kensi Blye, Marty Deeks, G Callen, Sam Hanna

A/N: Written for the Densimber 2020 Day 13 prompt “Kensi or Deeks wearing the other’s clothes.” It’s...beyond ridiculous.

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“Oh my god,” Kensi clamped a hand over her mouth as she gagged. “I’m going to throw up.”

“Oh you’re just being dramatic,” Deeks said in her ear over the comms. “It’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad?!” Kensi wretched again. “Deeks it smells like you peed on this thing and then let Monty sleep on it for a week!”

There was silence. “Deeks!” she hissed.

“Sometimes it’s better not to know,” he said.

They’d been working the case of a sailor, Kyle Mills, who’d been targeting homeless women in his spare time. Kensi and Deeks had already gone home for the night when Nell called to let them know he’d been spotted at a bar downtown. With limited time, resources, and a cooler than average LA night on their hands, Kensi had ended up wrapped in Artie on the sidewalk outside the bar’s back door. And she was regretting it. Very much.

“You and your method acting,” Kensi grumbled, trying to breathe through her mouth, although she swore to god she could actually taste the stench coming off the thing.

“Kens he’s coming your way,” Sam said quietly.

He’d taken up watch inside the bar with Callen while Deeks was stationed in the taco truck nearby. “Got him,” she said, watching as the bar door opened and Mills stepped out into the night.

She knew the moment he spotted her because his whole demeanor changed and she felt a thrill of disgust go down her spine. This man had preyed on some of the most helpless in their community and she was really hoping she was going to get to kick his ass.

“Hey,” he said, sidling over to her. “What’s your name?”

She looked up at him but didn’t answer, not wanting to make it too easy for him. “I’m Kyle,” he said. “You uh, you must be a little cold out here huh? Chilly night and all that.”

She shrugged and he pressed on. “You could come with me,” he said. “I’ve got a place. It’s warm. I’ve got a fully stocked fridge.”

“What do you want?” Kensi finally asked.

He shrugged. “You know, we could just go and see where the evening takes us. I do you a favor, you do one for me.”

Right. She knew exactly what kind of favors he wanted. She’d seen the bruises on his victims and the thought made her stomach turn. Or maybe that was because she’d gotten another waft of Artie.

She nodded and got to her feet. His grin was predatory even in the dim light. “Good, all right. Come on then.”

“Wait,” Kensi said. “There’s just one thing.”

“Listen babe, I don’t have a lot of time if you’re not interested—“

“Do it Kens,” Callen said in her ear.

Kensi pulled her gun from her belt. “Federal agent!”

And he ran. Of course he ran. “Deeks he’s on the move!” Kensi said, Artie practically strangling her as she took off.

“I’ll cut him off!” Deeks said.

Damn this guy was fast. Kensi followed him between a couple of buildings and then rolled her eyes when he jumped a fence. She went up no problem but she felt something catch and heard a terrible ripping sound as she dropped to the other side.

“STOP!” she yelled as her feet pounded against the pavement.

God damn it she couldn’t move in this oversized thing! She pulled Artie off and let it hit the ground as she continued on another block.

Tires squealed around the corner and Deeks barreled into view, throwing the taco truck in park and pointing his firearm out the window as Mills came to a stop with his hands up. Kensi came up behind him and grabbed his arms not bothering to be kind about it as she put him in cuffs. “You are so under arrest asshole,” she muttered in his ear.

“You good?” Deeks asked as he got out.

“Yeah,” she said, still slightly out of breath as she pushed Mills into a sitting position on the ground. 

“Where’s Artie?” Deeks asked looking around.

“Oh uh…”

“Hey you two all right?” Sam asked as he and Callen rolled up.

“Yeah we’re good,” Kensi told him.

Callen held up a wad of fabric. “D’you drop something Kens?”

Deeks’ eyes went wide and he gingerly took hold of the jacket which was practically torn in half and now had a giant tire mark going across it. “Oh buddy.” Deeks held the ruined coat for a moment and then sniffed. “He’s just more authentic now.”

“Oh, baby no,” Kensi said, prying it from his fingers. “I think he’s gone.”

“We could—“

“No, no we couldn’t. He lived a good life but you need to let him go.”

“Kens—“

Sometimes the Customer’s Wrong

***

“Hey, how are we doing?” Deeks asked, popping in from the “Squid & Dagger” kitchen with a bucket of clean glasses.

Kensi was behind the bar, serving drinks and managing the other staff. She looked around the room; for one of the first times since they’d opened, most of the tables were filled. Several patrons also lined the bar.

“Good,” she answered. “We could use some more shot glasses though.”

“You got it.” He kissed her quickly, flashing her a playful smile. “Hottest bartender around.”

“Mm, the dishwasher isn’t too bad either.”

Deeks returned to the kitchen, and Kensi kept filling orders. She filled one of the waiter’s tray with beer for a table of boisterous couples, made a peach martini for a tiny girl sitting by herself at the end of the bar, and closed the tab for an older gentleman who’d spent three hours nursing a gin and tonic.

When she turned back around a few minutes later, a man in his later thirties or so leaned against the bar, one elbow propped on the surface. Kensi sighed internally; he’d already had several drinks and each time he returned, he grew more obnoxious. As did his drink orders.

Kensi offered him a courteous smile, remembering why she tended to let Deeks man the bar more of the time. He handled rude and annoying customers much better than she did, his natural charm coming out to play when needed.

“Give me a glass of Makers,” he said, throwing a couple bills on the bar. He winked knowingly. “You can keep the change.”

Sir, I’m afraid we don’t have that brand,” Kensi replied politely. Annoyances flashed across his face, and he leaned closer, his breath wafting unpleasantly through the air.

“What the hell kind of bar is this?” he slurred.

With a second look, Kensi noticed the glassy sheen to his eyes and slightly unsteadiness even with the bar supporting him. She hadn’t been keeping super close track, but thinking back, she thought he’d had five drinks.

“I’m sorry about that. We don’t get a lot of demand for certain brands.”

He made a sound of disgust. “Guess that’s what I get for coming to a little run down place like this,” he muttered and Kensi felt the muscle in her left cheek twitch a little. “Give me another bourbon then.” He smirked, licking his bottom lip in a way that made Kensi want to take a step back. She didn’t give any external reaction though.

“We have a policy against serving more than five drinks in an hour period,” Kensi explained. “Do you want some water or juice instead.”

“What the hell? If I want another drink, you pour me another drink!”

“I’m sorry.” Kensi gestured to one of the seats. “You’ll have to go somewhere else or wait another hour.” Personally, she hoped he left, even if it meant he took his forty dollars with him.

“Pour me a damn drink now!”

“Lower your voice or I’ll have to ask you to leave,” Kensi said firmly, nothing polite about her tone now.

Faster than she anticipated, he reached across the bar and grabbed her wrist. He had a surprisingly tight and painful grip. Glancing around, she saw a couple people eyeing them, but most either hadn’t noticed the disruption or didn’t want to get involved.

“Let go of me,” she said, surprised by how calm she sounded for how badly she wanted to punch him in his drunken face.

“What, or you’ll ban me?” He taunted. He squeezed a little tighter, his breath absolutely nauseating. “Or you’ll teach me a lesson? I bet you could, you little bi—”

“Get your hand off her before I do it for you,” Deeks warned from behind Kensi, his voice dangerously calm. She instantly relaxed at his presence.

The guy took one look at Deeks and straightened up, puffing out his chest. “I’d like to see you try. You don’t look like you could fight off a chihuahua.”

“I’d love to take you up on that challenge,” Deeks said, drawing up beside Kensi. “Or better yet, see her do it.”

Despite his bravado, the guy released her wrist when Deeks leaned in closer. He didn’t back up completely though, and he still had a stubborn look in his eye.

“You should also know that I’m a cop, and a lawyer, who will happily arrest you for assault and make sure you get the maximum sentence.” Pausing for emphasis, Deeks dropped his voice so it was that much more dangerous. “So, this is your final chance to leave before one of us kicks your ass.”

Eyes flicking between her and Deeks, the man bared his teeth, his nostrils flaring. After a second, he huffed, and grabbed the money off the bar, stuffing it in his pocket.

“What I need with your crappy bar anyway?” he grumbled. Sending them one last look of drunken disdain, he pushed through anyone in his way and exited the bar.

“Are you ok?” Deeks asked, pulling Kensi a few feet from the front, and lifting her wrist to examine it.

“I’m fine,” she assured him. She’d probably have a couple bruises by morning, but most of the pain had already dissipated. His brows furrowed a, and he exhaled heavily.

“I’m sorry I kind of “white-knighted” with that guy. I just saw him grab you and instinct took over. I know you could have handled it yourself.”

“It’s ok. I was trying not to cause an incident, but I probably would have ended up punching him in the end.” She kissed his cheek. “And it was kind of hot.”

Deeks snorted in surprise, lifting her wrist to his mouth. Something crashing brought them back to reality.

“Are you ok to keep going tonight?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Do you think we should be worried about that guy, though? I feel kind of bad about sending him out into public in his state.”

“I’ll pull up the security feed and get his plates. A Buddy from LAPD should be able to flag him for a DUI.”

“I love how your mind works,” Kensi said fervently.

***

A/N: This is an AU for “Sorry For Your Loss” from season 13, where Deeks’ knife wound is more significant than on canon.

***

And If I Slip Away

Deeks hadn’t liked this case since the moment Miriam Sivac opened her front door and assumed he was her pool boy/gigolo. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t dealt with before, but she gave off creepy serial killer vibes. Or at least someone who would have no problem taking out an inconvenient relative or two.

So, it didn’t come as much of a surprise when she sold them out. As chaos broke out, Deeks intercepted the nearest guard, knocking the gun from his hand. The guy whipped out a knife with an impressive amount of speed.

The blade slashed across Deeks’ forearm, adrenaline blocking out most of the pain as he blocked the next blow with his serving tray. He felt blood trickle up his arm with the force of the movement. The guard took his opportunity to escape, running off towards a vehicle, and Deeks decided not to pursue.

“Deeks!” Kensi called out, mid-run from the sound of it, and hopefully unharmed.

He had just long enough to grab a serviette from the catering van and tie it around his arm before rushing off in Kensi and Callen’s direction.

“You know, you could have told us you were back there earlier,” Kensi said once shoot out was over and they waited for back up and ambulances. She sounded annoyed, but he knew it masked concern and lingering stress of the last 15 minutes.

“Where would be the fun in that. Besides, I needed you guys to act naturally,” he replied with a grin.

“Excuse me, are too implying that me and Callen don’t have the skills to act like you weren’t there?”

“I said nothing of the kind.”

“Oh no, you just—Deeks, why are you bleeding?” Cutting herself off, she pointed to his injured arm. He’d honestly almost forgotten about it, brushing off most of the pain what with the whole surprise hearse ride and shoot out

“Turns out the guy I took out also had a knife,” he answered wryly. He lifted up his arm so she could examine it. “He caught me a little bit.”

“That looks like more than a little cut,” Kensi observed, her earlier teasing completely replaced by concern. Deeks twisted his arm to see for himself. With the dark napkin, it was harder to tell, but now he saw the fabric was saturated.

“Let me see?” Kensi carefully held his arm in her left, uniting the cloth with the other. Whatever clotting had started must have broken, because as soon as she moved the napkin, blood immediately welled up from the cut. “Oh my god. It must have hit a vein or artery,” she said hoarsely.

Replacing the cloth, Kensi pushed down, hard, and now he definitely felt it.

“Aah! Damn it, that really hurts!” he hissed. “It’ll be ok,” he assured her, even as he felt more blood dripping past the napkin and down his arm.

“Fatima? We need an ambulance here ASAP. Deeks has a cut to his forearm and the bleeding’s not stopping,” she rattled off, applying pressure the entire time.

It still wasn’t enough. A wave of dizziness rocked through him and he felt the first hints of panic. He knew all the statistics about bleeding out. Had seen it happen in real time. At this rate, he didn’t have long if it didn’t stop soon.

“Deeks?”

“I’m a little dizzy,” he managed, unnerved by how unsteady his legs felt.

“Ok, let’s sit down.” Helping him to the ground, Kensi twisted around, searching through the crowd of people around. “Callen! I need help!”

A fresh wave of blood ran down his arm, making his stomach twist with nausea. He glanced up into Kensi’s eyes, which were wide with obvious panic.

He zoned out then, distantly aware of Kensi and Callen discussing a tourniquet. A sharp pain brought him back out of the fog and he screamed, head flying off the ground as he gasped.

Panting, he grabbed onto a handful of dirt, wondering when he’d laid down.

“I’m sorry,” Kensi murmured, cupping his cheek. “The ambulance is almost here.”

“Issa ‘kay.”

“Keep talking to me, Deeks, ok?”

“Mmm. Worst funeral ever,” he muttered, smiling vaguely when Kensi choked out a quiet sob. A smear of blood streaked across her right cheek. Reaching up, he clumsily tried to wipe it off, but his fingers wouldn’t cooperate. Instead, he settled for brushing his knuckles across her skin.

“You’re beautiful,” he slurred. He blinked, feeling oddly calm.

“No, no, no, no! Deeks. No, don’t close your eyes!” Kensi screamed. “Baby, stay awake. It’s going to be ok. Just don’t leave me.”

“Love you, Kens,” he murmured.

And the pain stopped.

***