#demoralizing

one of my neighbors somewhere is cooking consomé de pollo that smells JUST like my childhood and here i am eating reheated pizza

the evolution of youtube lps makes me pretty sad. you used to watch moment to moment gameplay on the screen. you'd do everything together as a creator and audience, so there was a lot of mutual learning, goals, and advice. but now people will condense 200 hours of work into a single 30 minute blindingly fast summation of some dazzlingly over the top idea they had with editing that makes my teeth hurt. I miss sitting around watching "caving episodes" of hermitcraft or q&a building a farm together, farming and experimenting for fun... now it's always gotta be bigger and better and retention means doing almost every scrap of work off camera. it feels so detached and impersonal now. I just want to feel included yk

ugh coming across so much disappointment in how much content Wyll got isn't helping in making me wanna continue the run w him... I wanna smooch him but it's hard continuing when he doesn't get th content he deserves ):

I am so tired of job applications

I truly love when I win so many more games than I lose but still end up with a negative net point gain