i'm so obsessed with demon AU, i don't even really like AUs for them but i simply cannot stop thinking about it. how scared and despairing ilya would be becuase he's convinced no one knows him well enough to know this is happening to me. how steadfast shane's care for him is. ahhhhh
ME TOO BABY........ literally he is trapped in his own mind . fully conscious when the demon lets him be, which is most of the time. the sensation is kind of like being completely numb, but totally cognisant of his surroundings. he can't feel the things his body does, unless the demon lets him. eg, he felt his shoulder connecting with Shane's spine and crushing him into the boards. he did not feel his wrist crack against shane's shoulder, etc. he doesn't feel any of the people the demon fucks or fights, but he watches it all. and no one notices!! people are even fucking cheering for him!!
but shane. of course he notices. hes suspicious as soon as ilya seems to lose that fluent knowledge of his body, which might seem shallow, to anyone else, but fuck. the black eyes, the violence, the sharp sharp grins. it's not Ilya!!! it's not him!!!
and Shane is so good, in the after, of differentiating between "it" and "you". and ilya kind of struggles with that, at first, because it was still his body that did all those things, if not intentionally. but shane is soooo steadfast and devoted in how he cares for him, and in his placement of blame, which is never on Ilya. they're in love ur honour.......