I love your face! Though we donāt talk more than once in a long while. I worry a lot about you sometimes, we both share certainĀ āsadnessesā that yes everyone has...but I like to help people. I also enjoyed our rp for as long as we had it, a shame a bunch of ooc got in the way and things crumbled left, right, and center. Though I hope youāre still having fun!
A hint of sadness stretched into Delis soft expression.Ā āSheās...she was someone I briefly grew close to. Too close actually...maybe she is karma for why Syv...ā her voice trailing off, pain briefly flaring as she shook it out and forced herself to sit still.
āI hurt her...but at least she had someone else to turn to. I havenāt heard from her since though...and I worry at times. I hope they took care of her...that she didnāt get abandoned all over again. Always left in the shadows...I hate what happened a little.ā her eyes drifting closed with faint sorrow.
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Youāre a really great person! Weāve been able to have some pretty deep talks about life and all our petty little sadnesses. Everyone has them but itās nice to at least vent about it and help eachother out...
Iām sad that weāve been limited to random periods of interaction, but I understand. Especially given the chaos of my many characters. (Iām a freaking altholic..bah.) and you having to leave various groups. I still <3 you though! We get in what we can.
Deli suddenly flushed faintly, her ears twitching upwards.Ā āAh...uh...I mean...sheās...a very close friend.ā coughing quietly and clearing her throat.Ā āIām fond of her, and she helps me when she can to distract or keep me sane. I hate that I need people to help with that but...I appreciate her working so hard.āĀ
With a twitch her head glanced away.Ā āIād really rather not say anything more though...Sheās a very close friend, and I wouldnāt want her to get in trouble. Just know sheās a good person, and we do what we can at times to help eachother.ā
Honestly on an ooc basis, Iām afraid youāre one of the people I donāt have much experience with. Youāre rp is very good no doubt, Iāve also enjoyed our skype rp the one time.Ā
You vary your characters a lot, and it canāt be easy to play that many different people. I know I work hard a lot to do that. Iām at least glad weāve got an excuse to get to know eachother more in time, though!
The druidess Deli curled a little into her seat. Wary, blinking amber eyes drifting around. It was still hard to be in a city, blue was helping her...return to some normalcy. Though for the most part she was still very off, a little nervous. Appearing like she might bolt at any moment.
āO-oh...him? Heās really nice. At least I think he is...One of the first recently to actually try to help me with...everything. He even remembered me being left behind when everyone else forgot..ā her ears lowering sadly with a sniff.Ā āAt least he cared, even if the others didnāt at the time...ā
Deliadia lay curled up under blankets on a warm, comfortable bed. Her perpetually shadowed eyes growing a little more clearer after a few days where she could actually finally rest in safety.Ā
A few days prior, Blue had offered to let her stay at his house. It was...a miracle of sorts for her. After weeks upon weeks of short, nightmarish rest while constantly alert. She could finally feel safe here, she trusted him. He wouldnāt let that monster get her.
It was still a struggle to eat regularly, but, she was working on it. It felt like the druidess was a crumbling building with a nice enough facade before, yet now, at least she was given a break from that pain. Her thoughts warmed a little and she smiled unconsciously. The gesture felt...alien, it felt like it had been so long...
In the end it didnāt matter, she was safe, and with someone she trusted. That alone was endlessly precious, even if the world outside was still harboring that monster.
(Deli post! Which also inevitably means right now, kind of depressing. *sighs*)
The last vestiges of sunlight trickled through the trees around a small house. Nestled in the forests of Elwynn, this of course being where the Druidess rarely called home. It was a simple place, comfortable for two, far too big for one. As sheād come to find over time. By now she let the plants around it be mostly free, growing abundantly in swaths of random colors of varying flowers around the place.
The only spot she drew the line was the immediate location of the house, here, she left it clean enough. A winding path flowing along until one wound up at the pleasant looking door. With the random, occasional trips, it was hard to tell. However, one with a keen eye may notice signs of a lack of use. In fact, Deliadia had not spent a night here since the loss. Only entering when need arose for things therein.
Memories made it...painful, which was difficult for her once she nudged the door open. Letting luminescent light flow out and ignite a few plants hanging like bulbs. Revealing the once warm location therein. Even if now, most of it had a very light layer of dust. Sheād need to clean again, eventually, if she got the will to try to do so.
āWhats the point in even coming here, anymore...ā she whispered to no one in particular. The druidess herself was...almost visibly wilting. Light from her eyes would barely be seen in pitch blackness. While spending more and more time in her feline form for safety made the slits of her irises more pronounced.Ā
Even her greenery that she wore like clothing, no longer fit perfectly to her form. Rather hanging a little more off of her...She wasnāt eating much either, now. Even as she thought of this, a lack of appetite made itself quite known. Deliād find time to eat, eventually, probably.
Thoughts began to swim, flowing lazily around her mind. It was becoming...far harder to control such things. With her own focus drifting between intense concern, depression, and sorrow. There was no more bitterness in her face. Only a slow spreading void, obscuring the soft features and making her appear far older.
āI just miss the safety.ā sheād thought to herself.Ā āHeās going to come for me soon...probably...Nothing I can do to stop him. If heās in the city he will find me...ā tears beginning to well in her eyes. She had to choke back a brief sob before stumbling over to a desk and leaning against it.
The reflection was far from flattering. At least to her own eyes, it felt like she was looking at a dead person. Maybe she was...it was hard to tell anymore. Ever since sheād seen him in stormwind, the man whoād taken her...Used her...made her his plaything. It had only taken a painful time, and made it far far worse.
She tried to summon up that bitter rage, anger, distracted at least. Even that faltered though, there was no spite left in her. Syv had just been another knife stabbed into her back, in the end. Another void to consume and weaken her mind all the more. She didnāt even know if she felt anger at the fact that he was already happy, especially as she suffered.
Trust was whittling here and there, all she had left even was her spirit. In stormwind the impulse to secure herself in that large, feral form was so strong. It protected her, it wouldnāt let him take her. She would be safe, entering, at least for a bit with that form.
Sure she had her house, she loved them...but did love really account for anything anymore?Ā āSurely that will backfire against me inevitably too...ā sheād thought sullenly. The last time sheād been abused, only one even took up looking into it...and everyone else had given up on her. The bitter memory of betrayal spiked into her thoughts. Causing the druidess to slam her hand onto the desk.
With a snap one of the drawers fell more open. Revealing the old perfume bottle...The gift, the precious thing that had once meant so much to her. Even looking at it just swelled fresh power to that darkness.Ā
Hastily sheād had to force the drawer shut, turning and running out the front door as she smothered the tears in her eyes. Though no doubt for the rest of the night, Deli knew, sheād be huddling up in a dark corner and praying for safety once more.Ā
āHow do people survive this...ā she whispered quietly into her arms. No, she was never alone, not with her house behind her. Though even still that memory, that spark of doubt nagged. It was a hard choice to figure out which was more painful, honestly.
Struggling to find rest, because every nerve is flared and stressed to the limit. Or waking up, and thinking, for a brief moment it was all just a dream...Even imagining those warm arms...Then, realizing the bitter reality. That the feeling itself, had been the dream this time.
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It didnāt take long at all, after deli finished talking to Hypno her calm demeanor had rapidly began to crumble. With a rush she had to leave, walking briskly. Even as she moved her soft features steadily cracked, a bitter, seething anger swelling within.
āWho does that bastard think he is...ā she thought angrily, focus clearly returning to the words sheād heard faintly whispered into her ear.
"I'm sorry t'have put y'through more pain."Ā
Syvs words returning clearly to the forefront of her mind. Every one only deepening the well of agony. How dare he show caring now...Did he even once look back? Even as her body was rapidly sealing itself in a cocoon of plants. Did he ever visit? Did he ever remotely do anything to check on her, after he broke her?
Most assuredly, the answer to all these things was no. Heād clearly moved on. Some bitter, very dark part of her mind wondered if itād even taken him long at all to find some new sweet thing to leer at. Had she even woken up before he was happy with someone else?
Every one of these malicious, twisted thoughts writhed within her mind as she flew back home.Ā āGood man...sure...until he decides he doesnāt want to be anymore.ā sheād thought sullenly. It was hard to tell where she even was these days, and tonight had only made it worse.
An ongoing war struggled, between bitterness. An all consuming hate that urged her towards horrible violence. Sorrow, the dull, endlessly throbbing ache that constantly felt like it was growing more and more leaden in her chest with every passing day. As well as the very faint flicker of fear...That no matter what, or who, she did...Never would she truly feel that safe and warm again.
Yes, she loved the fighting, savored the peoples necks cracking as they died. Contained a deep moan as she watched six men all at once, writhing and struggling in the thorny grip. Even as she knew they were already dead.
These things helped focus, ground her. Distracted from the mess within her mind...Of course. professionally speaking, she was happy for Syv. He did good work, and saw the faults where they lay. Heād earned that promotion...However all heād get from her would be that professional calm.Ā
As she settled down in the forest, vines coiling and wrapping around her in a cocoon once more so she could rest. It was the closest she could come to feeling safe now. She held firm to two things. The first, being sheād never let him see how truly badly he had destroyed her...the second, at least if she just kept breathing in her green flowers...She could play the act, for now.
The druidess padded slowly through her house, covered in various states of dust and disuse after her time resting. As well as her mate leaving. A part of her despised the place now, hated the memories. Both bitterness and sadness intermingled in her thoughts as she went along.
Dusting wasnāt something sheād bother with, nor really cleaning at all. The bitterness had won out, she couldnāt care less about cleaning it up. Who cared if this house lay uselessly, only visited extremely rarely when she felt the need. The forest was far more comfortable, and bore no painful thoughts on its back.
Though...during her looking through things, she stumbled upon a scent...One that brought both an amazing feeling, and a flare of resentment in her mind. A lovely perfume bottle lay on the counter, it had been made for her. To be specific a gift, one most precious at one point in time.Ā
Now the thoughts exploded like a snap, urges, violent impulses. She wanted to destroy it, shatter it, remove it from her life like everything else. Agony was welling up in her mind, even as she swiped her hand down to pick it up. Fists clenching tightly on the glass.
Then...very slowly...a few tears rippled down her cheeks. No, she couldnāt destroy it...even if she wanted to more than anything in the world at the moment. Even if the thought of looking at it ever again filled her with a massive well of agony and misery.Ā
Infuriated, half with herself, half with him. She slammed it into a drawer and forced it shut. Turning and snarling feraly to nothing in particular. Having to wipe the hint of tears from her eyes. She was done with sentiment, with love, with caring. Damn that nuisance to hell for leaving such a reminder for her.Ā
Though regardless of words, thoughts, one thing remained true. Her rage and hate, bitterness, spiteful wickedness. Didnāt quite manage to bury the all consuming void in her chest.
(Deli IC post, havenāt had one for a while, havenāt had a shely one for a while but sadly nothing to really post on her end...Will be getting back into the groove of things with that the second she can. Definitely an...emotional post.)
Music
It had felt like...lightning tearing through her form. Body slumping to its knees as the druidess fell still. Her amber gaze slowly, second by second, dulling...Almost fading entirely with the quaking that began to build in her bones.
Horrible, wracking sobs tore at her, tears streaking down her face...She didnāt understand, couldnāt understand...worse yet, her mind was terribly fragile. The only thought that seemed to be clear was...sorrow.Ā
The earth around her churned, writhing, arching, tearing with greenery as her energy ran rampant. Lashing out for her unspoken agony. Conscious understanding of the situation was...gone. All she knew was...she felt...hollow.
This pain had been there before, time, time again. Everything fading to grey in her vision. At least what little she could see past the streaming liquid down her features. In the end...it didnāt matter, nothing mattered...
She felt unsafe, alone. Her body continuing to shake more violently as the wracking sobs tore from deeper inside of her. Greenery coiling and uncoiling while snapping out at the air with barbs. For a second she even thought she felt that warm breath on her neck.
That horrible, cruel, monstrous voice that found her at her most innocent...Reaching in and breaking her to its whims. Deli could only snap her head around from side to side. Long lengths of cobalt hair whipping at the air.
Meanwhile, the once lovingly tended garden sheād worked so hard to maintain...A soft sea of flowing rainbow colors, enhanced lightly to offer a calm, comforting feel to her home...churned higher.
Already she felt herself beginning to fall back, slumping into the grass and squeezing her eyes closed. The pain was too great, she had only one choice...sleep, sleep and silence...block it all away.
With a slow thud the plants swam around her, cradling her form tenderly into a more comfortable bed of plush grass. The rest of them raising and swarming higher. Blossoming with hundreds of softly glowing flowers.
Each one spawned and fueled by the unspoken agony, scent giving one who breathed it in a sense of pain...sorrow...A wall of thorns and glowing flowers erecting itself protectively around her.Ā
When all was said and done, her consciousness...drifted to the dream, or at least to a dream. Who really knew...all she could feel was hurt. Why had she resisted this urge to rest for so long? She couldnāt really remember that either.
Nestled within the forests of Elwynn, now rested a small meadow. Field glowing vibrantly with life, a few flowers remaining that once put off that lightly calming scent...While others flared even more vibrantly. Things that grew near no doubt feeling the stab of the scent and quickly leaving.
As in the center lay a soft cocoon of thorns stabbing outwards. Resting deep within of course...Deli, nestled in an almost comatose state.
(No, deli isnāt dead just...I canāt stand to do more depressing rp. My state of mind is nowhere near good enough oocly and it is dangerous to put myself further into that sort of thought process.)
(If anyone wants to interact with the scene/her through skype/tumblr Iāll happily do so! Try to wake her, w/e. Just...unless something changes I can -not- let myself risk further slipping.)