#deez nuts

Literally out of this world♥︎

(Conquest x Human! Gender neutral! Reader, romantic head-canons)

Song recommendation:

♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

Being with a man like conquest is…challenging and yet charming in its own way.

He’s not one to beat around the bush, nor cut corners. If he wants something he gets it, and he for sure earns it. This applies to objects of course but also you.

You, are such a bizarre concept to him…

You love him so gently despite everything you know he’s done, despite seeing what he’s capable of.

It doesn’t take much or long for him to fall in love with you, but it takes time for him to fully trust you, to tell you his deepest thoughts, if that makes sense.

He couldn’t care less what you look like, what you do to him, your touch alone comforts him. Doesn’t matter if it’s a slap to the face, he’ll lovingly take it to see you staring up at him with your enchanting eyes…but he can’t help but daydream of you caressing him softly.Whispering how everything will be okay, you guys will be okay, no matter what your love for him will never waver.

Continuing on that note, it should be a surprise to no one he’s physically starved. He craves only for you to hold him despite his large stature, to scratch his back to lull him to sleep, or your fingers carefully tracing the deep lines and scars on his palms.

Sometimes he wishes he could pry your skull open and peer at your thoughts. See how you perceive him…see if you truly mean what you say, the strange concept of you “loving” him.

He deals with large amounts of jealousy in the beginning of you relationship. He’s wary of people, them craving you, but they could never compare to him in that sense. If you could see his inner thoughts, 80% is just you. In the morning waking up messy haired next to him. You brushing your teeth or washing your face. You cooking a meal you introduced him to and know he loves. Or your concentrated face when you try looking for clothes his size that are comfy for him. Or maybe the way you modified your home a tiny bit to make it comfier for his larger frame… he’s never been catered to before you came along. So he cherishes you to another extreme.

He would absolutely betray the viltrumite empire for you, oh, there’s very few things he wouldn’t do for you.

You know how Debbie described dating Nolan for the first time, he brought her a tree thinking it was a better version of flowers?. Conquest would 100% do that but worse, he’d get multiple trees and try bunching them together.

Honestly some mornings he pins you down with his weight to get a few more minutes of cuddles from you.

Clingy in the way that he’ll follow you everywhere. If you leave the bed at night to go use the bathroom he’ll wait outside the bathroom and ask why’d you leave him alone.

Will probably pester Nolan or Mark for tips on being a better partner. This man has no shame on showing how down bad he is for you mark my words.

Loves when you use his clothing, and how it basically pools around you it makes him swoon. He would love to wear your clothes, whether boxers or a sweatshirt, maybe a tank top, he quite honestly couldn’t care less. But of course it doesn’t fit, so you opted to buy a jacket of you style but his size, and wore it for a bit before gifting it to him. Honestly, this is a little gross but probably accurate, he’d take care of it and wear it but probably won’t wash it in fear of removing you cologne/perfume or getting rid of any of your loose hair stuck to it. Makes his heart tinge a bit thinking about it.

Likes a big firm mattress, maybe an Alaskan King. Also prefers to have you sleeping or taking naps on top of him with your head in his chest, especially if you talk about his heart beat and how soothing it is to you, you’ll probably hear its pace pick up after you said that.

Devoted to you, and your happiness. You’ll get what you want no questions asked, just love him, tell him you love him even after all he’s done, what he’s been trained to do. He only knows the praise after winning battles, not small things like doing the dishes without you asking, or flying to another country to get your favorite food, making sure it’s still hot when he drops it into your lap. Or you kissing him down his nose or on his eyelids after he admitted how deep his love is for you.

You’re all he needs, all he cares for, and he’s willing to prove that no matter what.

♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

IM SO SORRY IF THIS IS OUTTA CHARACTER, I watch the show and I don’t have access to the comics so I apologize.

Also I would love conquest request, please hit me with all you guys got. I love my old man.

I just spotted my first acorn of the year on the ground, which means it's officially TIME to remind you that you can EAT THEM

I've drawn an instructional comic about foraging acorns, which is available as a free PDF or a not-free print minicomic here on my Ko-Fi shop!

Acorns are one of our most abundant and underutilized wild foods! Teaching yourself how to process them is a great way to learn more about the past and present importance of oaks in our ecosystems and our foodways. And you're gonna love the pancakes, seriously.

satoru was never one to let his favorite girl down. of course, you were the light of his life. the only one who kept him grounded. and he knew more than anyone that his being a sorcerer was a total nuisance for his social life— especially his love life.

so he made sure to keep you happy. to let everything fall in the palm of your hand. just one request, question, or statement— he'll take care of anything just for you. he never breaks his promises. hell, he even promised you that he'll never break promises. your pinky feels sore from the many times he's wrapped his around it.

like in that one summer in 2007, it was just the two of you in his hot, humid dorm when he promised he'd put a ring on your finger. specifically, he wanted one with a light-blue diamond that shimmered white in the sun. as if he was the one wearing it. but you grinned at the thought. it would be nice to settle down once the two of you reach the peak of your sorcerer career.

luckily, that promise came through. every day since 2017, you've been wearing a gorgeous 24-karat engagement ring with the very specific light-blue diamond that matched satoru's eyes. and as sweet and sentimental satoru always was with you, he gazes at it every night before bed, pressing kisses on your hand while listening to your enamoring giggles and complaints about going to bed already.

he also likes to twist the trinket around while holding hands with you. satoru loves knowing that it's there— not lost, not forgotten. it was a symbol that you were soon to be wed to him, and he always reminded himself of it.

another well-kept promise of his was to buy you that small house outside of tokyo, away from the city life, full of fields with the sight of both mountains and the sea. perfectly quiet, with the occasional festivals. despite his grievance of it being too far from work or not being big enough (he owns the gojo estate, after all), he still invested in your dream home.

you find yourself falling for him even more when you find that the inside is fully furnished, with even the plates matching the aesthetic of the home. it makes you laugh, making him sheepish. "i wanted to surprise you, baby... i still think the place isn't enough for our five future kids, though," he murmurs as he scratches the back of his neck. you shake your head, smiling as you pull him in for a hug, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you thank him.

long story short, gojo satoru is perfect.

never fails to give you what's yours. never fails to crack a joke when you're down or support you when overwhelmed with your missions. never fails to give you a kiss when you struggle to ask for affection (but not without a bit of teasing). never fails to tell the whole world about how much he loves you, (the first years are tired).

but what you hold closest to your heart was that he never fails to keep his promises.

grown man btw