#deep_thoughts

على الهامش..!! وصلتني رسالة من شخصٍ ما من دولةٍ أجنبية لا يتحدث العربية لكنّه يقرأني بطريقته كلما رآني أدوّن شيئًا حزينًا يرسل لي خواطره ليست حبًا ولا غرامًا بل كلمات خفيفة كأنها دفعة صغيرة تعيدني إلى نفسي وتغيّر مزاجي دون أن أشعر ذات مرة.! كتب لي قصتي كما تخيّلها من بين سطوري وتخيلني أنا(هايدي) 😁 لا أعلم إن كان فهمني فعلًا أم أنه رأى فيّ شيئًا أجمل مما أراه أنا أحيانًا..! يقرأنا الغرباء بصدق لأنهم لا يعرفون كيف نحاول أن نخفي أنفسنا.

وعلى الهامش..بين ما أكتبه وما أخفيه...أنا الحكاية.

Dilimi bilmeyen bir yabancı beni okuyor. Üzgün yazdığımda bana hafif sözler gönderiyor. Beni “Heidi” olarak hayal etti… Belki benden daha güzel birini gördü. Bazen yabancılar bizi daha dürüst anlar. Yazdıklarım ve sakladıklarım arasında… hikâye benim.

言葉を知らない見知らぬ人が私を読んでいる。 悲しみを書くと、優しい言葉をくれる。 私を「ハイジ」として見た… もっと良い私を見たのかもしれない。 時々、他人の方が正直に理解する。 書く私と隠す私の間で…物語は私。

My window, my eyes

Are scanning hearts everytime they open

And see world around in robotic vision,

Without emotion, without judgment,

As if everywhere there are subjects to explore

And be amazed at my findings ;

An Wonderland to get lost

And swirl and swirl in the machine

Of tangles and circuits,

A bird can live under the ocean

---------------

Shadows that are passed

Through my heart

On the eve of tingling,

Desert rose grows

Only tomorrows

Onto this earthly building.

Music from my throat

The way they gloat

Over the royal road;

I hide, I fail

Till I prevail

Over the board.

My eyes have seen

Seen, unseen,

On my way to home

In my heart

I have learned my part

And my kingdom.

Tides come, tides go,

There is the land ho!

The veil lifts fast;

Here I am

In traffic jam

Reflections of past.

Come now, come now

No reason for how

Into the deep forest,

To claim that

Your old hat

With new feathers to nest.

I bleed dry

In order to try

To bring the breath near

And looking back

I see I lack

The music I hear.

In my heart

I have seen the part

Where I was..

Before earth stood still

Fair until

There I was..

Time breaks

And space creaks

Blood divides..

Plasma splits

And blackhole slits

History hides!

Not black, not white

Everyone on ride

I am not alone, I am not alone;

Not light, not dark

Everyone on mark

—————

I am my mother

My mother is me

As I move my steps forward

Up and down the tree

Double headed goddess

The maiden and the crone

Us we make the mother

When we are alone

Nature speaks the wisdom

Secrets of Creation unfold

Threesome we make the Mother

And the mysteries untold..

———————

Does it look the same

When back to me you came

From beyond the stars

And looking for my name

May it fall in places right

And not us to fight

Who comes first

And who has the sight

Still there is to be taught

That we don't get caught

In the tapestry

In the battles we fought

In the end only peace

I give my heart to this

Getting an old rythm

—————————

Wandering through a hall

Withered in storms

Scorched in sun

And in the wilderness of thoughts

I begin to fall

Through the layers of hidden

Doors that lay unseen

From eyes

That dies...

Many time a winter night

And what a sight

It was of withered broken heart

Yet beating on at the speed of light

When the soul burns bright

After the ravage done

And still it stands like a tall tall tree

Searching for the door

Where there are so many

Up and down the hallway

Like a sway

That captures moments

And stretches beyond the otherway

History remains witness

That I passed through each door

Times before and after