#deep truths

Dear younger self,

Live now, kid. You don’t have much longer as a child anymore. I’ll tell you that one for sure. I bet right now you’re either excited about your baby sister who will be born soon, or you’re at the park with Daddy after grabbing some hash browns while Mommy is working. Either way, live while you still have your childhood because I know you won’t have it much longer so I’d take my word. Cause I’ll spoil it for you -- you’re gonna have to grow up fast, and it won’t be your choice and it will be whether you like it or not. Things are gonna toss and turn you, more than just boys will break your heart. It sucks, kid. It does. But you’re gonna learn and you’re gonna handle it well. Although I do really wish that you did actually receive this letter. I want to give you a thank you. Not only for being me but taking everything that was thrown your way and being mature about it.You may have only been ten years old even though you lived in the mind and maturity of a fifteen year old. This clearly made things tougher to get along with people in elementary school but things do get better when you get older. This did make a lot of problems and it still was and will be. People will doubt you, you will be totally misunderstood and you will also be very underestimated by many people around you. There will be quite the aftermath to this consequence but you’re strong and will make it by.

Dear younger self, your family issues won’t get any better from here. I hate to say it. You know what people say, it gets a lot worse before it gets better. You’ll feel pressured to choose between your two parents and you will not stand for injustice between either of them. Things with your sister won’t be easy either, they never will be. Your cousins and aunts and uncles will also be iffy all of the time and those things won’t be easy either, but we will be with those we choose to be in the end. You will stand for what you know is right and I am proud of you for it. Never lose that ground because no matter what you decide it will all work out perfectly in the end. No matter who ends up by your side and who gets lost along the way, it still will be.

Dear younger self, boys will break your heart. I’m sure you’re already starting to learn -- you know they lie about boys having cooties already. I know you love, love and don’t let people take advantage of you for it. Your heart is to loving and you’re gonna learn that the hard way, but still never stop loving like you do. All of your feelings are valid and even at your best, you will never be good enough for the wrong person. Keep that in mind, heartbreaks and heartaches are inevitable.

Dear younger self, friends will break your heart more and worse than any boy ever will. They tell you trust in friends and that friends will always be there for you. Well, they lied. Everyone looks out for themselves and will get rid of you and break your heart if it means any little benefit for them. Some of them may be accidents and you will go through plenty of ups and downs unknowingly but you will keep going. You will keep going because your heart is too kind, but you will learn even if it is the harder way to learn it. I promise that is okay though, just keep your awareness high.

Dear younger self, live in the moment. No number of objects, possessions, and keepsake will ever hold as much value as moments and feeling. It will take you a while for you and everybody around you to learn that but you will. It’s when it’s time to put the camera down and enjoy the moment while it’s there, and not depend on a camera to hold your half-lived memory for you. And if you worry about forgetting it, just remember that it is a cycle of life. Live that moment now, you’ll remember it better and longer, and when it does fade away, that is okay because you enjoyed and cherish the moment while it was there.