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it feels kinda shitty of me, but I hate when I feel like im drowning and all I get is
"just believe in your self and you can overcome this!"
"youre so functional, your doing great"
"you are so self aware! thats amazing"
I dont need a pep talk I need help.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I’m so sorry I haven’t been communicative for like a week. It’s been a bad time emotionally, for personal reasons, but I also felt so shitty and shameful for trying to explain that I literally had to lay down for the past four days because my compression socks ripped and being upright made me pass out or stop breathing so I haven’t been able to even sit on the couch nvm at the computer. 🥲
I found some not great ones that I can only wear for a short while before my feet turn purple, so I’m going to speed run some art stuff right now and disassociate from emotions while doing it. 👍 Emails, messages, texts, posts for folks waiting on art are incoming. But otherwise please know I am working on things, and I’m very sorry it’s been so slow with so little communication.
Dear diary..
The thoughts are back again, the thoughts I ran away from as a teen. The ones that roared so loud, it silenced my love for life.
The loneliness is my only friend these days along with despair and regrets.
for deep depression times
instead of brushing my teeth, i just use mouth wash and call it good enough
usually make my own but my friend likes this brand so hey
["why are you so quiet? whats on your mind?"
"the dread that comes from knowing people have created false versions of me in their head from misunderstandings and deciding what my motives are. and theres nothing i can do or say to stop this"]
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I'm in the deep isolation phase of my depression. All of my friends are fading. They feel more like people i used to know. I'm tired of being the only one to reach out, only to be met with a less than enthusiastic response. My dms are dryer than my humor.
Anyway
Any lonely ppl out there? Wanna hang?
My interests are currently.... Fuck uuuuh... no wait i got this
I like to roleplay? I used to draw. I've been reading the Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children series. Current on book 5. Noor seems cool.
:)
That was a job I could have helped my family out with, that and I was emotionally abused by in front of my face and behind my back, in the first day, without a scat bit of training
I've been seeking work for ages now
SSI (help from the Government) cause I'm broken in multiple ways but have been told I'm 'just fine'
And then this..
No, I'm not okay, I'm not fine..
But I do like being there for others ~💕
I'm broken again, the therapy done to help me use my lower back has been ruined, I can't walk on my right leg so I need to relearn
But I won't let that get in the way if you wanna talk~💕
Remember that you are loved
