#deathcall

The call came at 11:30 pm just as I was just falling asleep. It was a hospice nurse calling to say one of her patients had just passed and they were ready for us to come.  I met my coworker in the dark, abandoned parking lot of a craft store.

He drove the van as I looked over the details of our most recent death call.  The deceased was a woman who had passed at home, her husband had authorized the embalming; I assumed she was elderly as not too many young people die at home, on hospice.

As we arrived at the home a nice woman about 60ish invited us in. Two lab puppies were at the door to greet us. Animals always seem to know and these two were no exception. Being puppies you could see the energy as they greeted us, sniffed us, and then walked to their kennels without being told to do so. They both lay down with that knowing sad look, one of them whimpering as his chin touched the ground.

There was a teenage girl and preteen boy who went to their rooms as we walked in. Sitting in the family room was a young boy on a computer with another 60ish woman who was rubbing his back, comforting him. The husband came out of the bedroom to meet us, he was young. He looked to be in his 30’s; this was not what I expected.

We introduced ourselves, asked if he had any questions, and explained our procedure. He said they were ready, we could gather our things and proceed to take her from her home. We went out to the van to gather our gloves and cot, talking about our plan of action; which way the cot was going in the house and the safest way to get her out of the house and into the van.

Walking back into the house the woman who had been comforting the young boy announced “can you wait, this five year old needs a minute to say goodbye to his mother”. We stopped and sat the cot down in the entryway and I said “of course, take all the time you need” and I meant it; I was tired and I wanted to get home so I could try and get some sleep, however, none of this mattered anymore. My needs were off somewhere in the back of my mind and all I wanted was to allow this little boy as much time as he needed, even if it meant I stood in that entry way for 3 hours.

We stood in silence, the puppies sat in silence, the boy and his dad were alone in the bedroom with his mom. After about 15 minutes the husband emerged saying they were ready but could he and his son stay in the bedroom. We said “of course”. The little boy watched as we wrapped his mom in a sheet and transferred her to the cot, covering everything but her face. Before we covered her face we looked to the husband, was he ready for us to proceed? He nodded yes and we covered her up and began to wheel her out of the room. As we got to the door a small voice behind us said “bye mommy” and my heart broke, I fought the tears as we moved her out of the house and into the van.

Moments like this are my why; they are heartbreaking yes, and they do make me cry, but they make me grateful that I was the one who was there that night. I was the one who said “yes, take as much time as you need” I was the one who moved this little boy’s mom with love and gentle care. Our funeral home was the place the family trusted to take care of their loved one when she died.  

I lovingly prepared her and got her ready for her funeral service. The last act of love and care of another human being allows a grieving family to see her and spend some time with her for the last time. I did everything in my ability to make sure she looked beautiful. Beautiful and peaceful for her little boy, for her other children, for her husband, family, and friends.

Pernah merasa kaku dan terkejut hingga kau tak dapat meluapkan emosimu? Aku mengalaminya.

Menjelang petang, (Ahad, 25 Desember 2016), aku mendapat kabar duka yang tak terduga. Grup-grup whatsapp alumni sekolah seketika ramai dengan kabar duka tersebut. Siapa sangka ternyata nama yang tertera pada berita duka itu adalah orang yang kukenal baik sejak lama. Saking amat terkejutnya, beberapa teman sampai mencoba kroscek berita tersebut.

Namanya Abdullah Adzkiy Robbani, lulusan biologi IPB. Adzkiy panggilannya, tapi kerap kupanggil “bocil” sejak dulu. Ya, kami berteman akrab sejak kelas 10 hingga lulus lalu sibuk dengan kegiatan kampus masing-masing.

Kami memang tak terlalu sering berkabar sejak lulus sekolah, tapi terakhir kali yang kuingat dia bercerita tentang sulitnya praktikum untuk skripsinya. Lalu kudengar pada akhirnya ia berhasil menyelesaikan studinya.

Adzkiy anak yang cerdas, dia peserta OSN Biologi saat sekolah, rusuh, ceria, penuh cerita dan hampir tak terlihat kesedihan pada dirinya. He was one of my close friends when we were High Schooler. Dia termasuk anak yang tak neko-neko dalam pandanganku.

Dan berita duka itu? Ah, tak perlu kau tanya. Saking terkejutnya, aku tak lagi dapat mengeluarkan emosi apa pun saat petang itu. Lalu, malam harinya dengan penuh pikiran dan renungan, aku seperti berkata : “Apa kabar kau di sana, kawan?”, “Apa rasanya sekarang?”

Semua timeline media sosial yang berisi teman-teman, adik atau kakak kelas zaman sekolah seketika penuh berita duka. Dan tak kuasa rasanya melihat nisan yang tertera namanya, pun saat foto kain kafan itu mulai diturunkan ke liang lahat.

الَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ قَالُواْ إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ 

[(Yaitu) orang-orang yang apabila ditimpa musibah, mereka mengucapkan: “Innā lillāhi wa innā ilayɦi rāji’ŭn” (sesungguhnya kita semua milik Allah dan sesungguhnya kepada-Nya-lah kita semua akan kembali.] (Al-Baqarah : 156)

[Who say, when afflicted with calamity: “To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return”.]

“Almarhum meninggal saat menyelamatkan dua adiknya yang hanyut di pantai Jepara. Dua adiknya selamat. Jenazah akan dimakamkan di Semarang, Senin jam 10 pagi. Insyaallah almarhum syahid.”

Semuanya berkata seperti itu. Allah loves you more than us, cil. Makanya Dia memanggilmu lebih cepat dibanding aku ataupun teman-teman yang lain. Syahid dan Husnul khotimah, bukankah dua kata itu amat indah bagi kita semua yang hanya makhluk lemah ciptaanNya?

Selamat jalan, cil. Semoga di lapisan langit sana kau tersenyum bahagia bersama bidadari-bidadari Allah. Sesungguhnya pun aku dan yang lain akan menyusul ke sana nanti, pada saatnya kematian menyapa bergiliran.