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Ik making some sort of drug or device that alleviates the need to sleep is a dystopian fantasy that would lead to horrific outcomes but god working a nightshift is great for my insomnia and a disaster for any and all social interaction i might want with awake human beings during my time off
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I used to dissociate so fucking bad in grade and middle school like i genuinely do not remember most of that shit bc I was on autopilot nobody mode the whole time. Grade school was definitely worse tho I've gotten out of the "what am I who am I what makes me me and not a third person" phase thank the lordππ₯΄
I feel like theres just so much stuff in the world that nobody cares about price hikes anymore like it used to be a big deal when a restaurant or store upped their prices and they had to make up an excuse for it but now they just change and nobody even notices like 12 packs of canned soda went from $2-3 a box a few years ago to now almost $7 and nobody has said anything like that shit has more than DOUBLED
Had the weirdest dreamever ok i was at like work/school/some other place? Some of my highschool teachers were there but it was kinda epic we were in this like "endless" lockerroom that connected on both sides there wasn't really a boys or girls entrance so i dont really even know if it was a locker room or just some sort of poolrooms esq dimly lit stone classroom with weird lockers n boards on the walls also my v.ocera was implanted in my chest or something but we got to make combination pride flags (or just draw) with pixels around our names (which could be whatever you wanted) as introductions and that'd be like the thing people would be greeted with if they tried to contact u I just remember being so happy and nobody seemed to care about anything definitely one of nicest most vivid nap dreams I've had that didn't devolve into horrible chaos π this dream was influenced heavily by pain and anti nausea medicine
Don't read this I'm just lamenting about bones again
I have this bone that I sanitized and polished on my desk, it's an inch thick slice of shank bone from the last piece of cow flesh I intentionally ate and oftentimes I wonder if it's the last piece of that cow that isn't in a landfill or a sewer. I wonder a lot if me having kept it so many years means anything or if I'm just a sick bastard for not burying it along with the many other deceased I keep preserved above ground in alcohol. It is larger and denser than any bone in my entire body. The textures inside where bone marrow used to connect are completely unique to this specific animal as are the faint structural lines and pits where the smallest little blood vessels used to be. This used to be part of a leg that could support the weight of an entire cow and did for however long their life was. this piece of a living being cost me $6, just six dollars for something that cost an animal their entire life just to have be a part of them. That night I made a decision, I cooked that meat barely 30 seconds on each side, just enough to get any residual germs off. It was in my fullest intent to taste blood and I did. It wasn't worth it and killing isn't who I am. I realized that night that no matter how hard my brain tried to rewire pleasure into respect, it'd never be true or honest, and ever since the smell of beef cooking has made me as nauseous as the smell of human flesh being cauterized does.
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The US really left natives with the shittiest land in the country they could manage (in attempt to starve everyone to death) then blame them for it looking/being shitty huh. Natives made this country beautiful, getting real sick of the "supreme" court
Thinking about the one time my uncle was going on about tiktok and i forgot to behave myself and said "You use tiktok???" And he jumped so hard to defend himself i almost lost it like "no i only post i only advertise i dont scroll what do you take me for"
I can hardly follow any rat blogs bc i can only stand a very few specific people talking about them ever everyone elses opinion is wrong and fills me with violence
