#dearyou

'i don't believe in magic'

The best ‘life hack’ in the world is choosing the right partner to spend it with. ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ We agonise over which schools we want to go to, which subject we want to study, which city we want to live in, which apartment/house we want to move to. All important decisions. But when you think about it, we meticulously choose all of those things because ultimately we want to achieve happiness, fulfilment, contentment. ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ The right life partner can untether you from being dependent on any of those factors for happiness. You may not be financially ‘successful’ by other people’s standards, you may not live in a fancy apartment, you may not go on expensive vacations - but you will find peace and contentment in each other’s arms at the end of each day the likes of which others can only dream of in their empty mansions. ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ Job struggles, having to budget carefully, not owning a car, studying for exams - all of these ‘difficulties’ become their own adventures when you have the right person by your side. You’ll marvel at every tiny new blessing as if you’re the luckiest people in the world (like moving from a studio to 1BR apartment, or being able to afford appetizers at a restaurant!) On the flip side, all of the conventional success in the world can turn bitter in your mouth if you’re constantly fighting with the person you’re sharing it. ⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ This isn’t to say that the ‘perfect’ partner is going to fall down to you from the sky, custom built with everything you’ve ever imagined. When we choose anything in life, we list our ‘Must Have’ requirements, and then our ‘Like to Have’ requirements. Don’t confuse those two, no matter what you do. Compromising on a ‘must have’ at the beginning can lead to major issues down the line, so pick those very carefully and stick to them. But treating every ‘like to have’ as a ‘must have’ quality in a potential life partner is going to leave you with unattainable expectations and too rigid a framework.⁣⁣⁣

Dear You,

Tunda Dulu