#dear abby

"About uh, about three months ago, I was in, uh

I was in Rome, Italy

I don't know what I was doing there

I was just there, uh

I got this sandwich one day

And they uh, gave me a newspaper with it

It was the only newspaper they had there

That was in English, and uh

They had all the news from all around the world

Just crammed into four pages

Didn't even have any funnies in there, you know

Every time you turned a page something

Just jumped right out at you, you know

So I found an old friend in there, and I wrote her a song

DEAR MISS ABIGAIL: This one’s has happily served alongside its Mistress’ other dolls for years. It has been the doll assigned to cook for Miss, but recently she has acquired another doll to help in the kitchen, and it is constantly getting into conflicts with this one. It disagrees on spice blends, organization, cooking methods… seemingly everything. This one does not want to question Miss’ judgment in buying a new doll, but it has cooked for Miss the whole time it has served her, and she has always been happy with its work. It doesn’t see why this new doll should be allowed to change everything. Until yesterday, this one had tried to tolerate this as an annoyance, but Miss overheard an argument between these ones last night and stepped into the kitchen to scold them. This is now a serious issue—this one does not want to disappoint Miss again—so how does it stop this situation from causing more problems with its work? —OVERWHELMED IN BOSTON

choose the image that feels like the feeling you want to feel when watching youtube

some examples of feelings >entertained >enlightened >relaxed >seen/felt/heard/connected topic of images: shows i loved as a kid

Dear Abby, 23 September 2021:

DEAR ABBY: I am cleaning out my closet and have decided to sell my wedding dress from 21 years ago. I love the dress; it's beautiful. But it's a very large box to store. My 16-year-old daughter has made it clear to me she will never marry. It was difficult for me to accept, as she's my only daughter. The thing is, she wants to try my dress on. I don't want her to because she doesn't agree with the sanctity of marriage or the commitment of it, and I don't want my wedding dress tried on by anyone who feels this way about marriage. It means more than playing dress-up, and I believe it should be worn only by someone who respects it. Am I wrong? Does my daughter have a right to have hurt feelings over this? -- NOT A GAME OF DRESS-UP

Dear Not A Game Of Dress-Up,

Madam, you must defend the holy and precious institution of marriage at all costs lest one single teenager wearing a dress decimate the blessed sacrament! You hold the fates of marriages the world over in your hands, and you mustn't let your daughter obliterate billions of lives by applying cloth to her body. You and your unassailable principles are the only thing protecting an all-too-vulnerable world from the end of the very concept of marriage as we know it!

Not only does your daughter not have a right to experience hurt feelings over this, but she really owes you and every other person who has been married, considered marriage, or who vaguely believes in marriage as a concept a major apology. Why, marriage is not a game of dress-up! Marriage is primarily and historically a business and financial arrangement built to reinforce the patriarchy by legally regulating and mandating heterosexual relationships for the purpose of increasing wealth and property by treating women like interchangeable broodmares whose sole value rests in their reproductive capacities, and making men think they're worthless if they don't make gobs of money and spend their evenings grunting with the boys over brandy and cigars. Ah, romance! That your daughter would take an ill view of such a beloved and honored custom is genuinely mystifying.

We can be sure, of course, that your daughter will never marry, nor will she ever change her mind about marrying under any circumstances whatsoever. Teenage declarations are contractually binding, and grand proclamations about future life plans by 16-year-olds in particular are known for their consistency and longevity. And yet you must seek to change her mind, otherwise you may be obligated to support her in indefinite spinsterhood should she fail to match with a master who can provide her with food and housing in exchange for heirs.

By Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I’m a millennial. I am successful in my career and lucky to have a loving husband and two amazing children. I am, however, trying to remind myself to be “better and not bitter” in another huge area of my life.

The world is changing so quickly, especially in the field of in vitro fertilization. I know I have much to be thankful for, but I’m finding it a hard pill to swallow that many of our older parents are choosing to have another set of kids in their later years. My father, who is in his mid-60s, has just had twins with his third wife. His children are younger than mine.

I feel entirely replaced by his new family. Rather than being a present father and grandfather, he has nearly disappeared. I thank God that my mother is a proud and devoted grandmother to my children. In addition to his disappearing act, Dad has decided to leave all of his assets to his third wife and the twins. They call my kids their twins’ “cousins”!

A number of my friends also have a parent who has chosen to start their lives over in this way, including their mothers, who, in their later years, have had babies via surrogate. This is so painful. How do I, and the younger generations, overcome this feeling of abandonment? -- BIG SISTER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SISTER: I can’t speak for the others, but you are blessed with a loving husband and two amazing children. A step in the right direction would be to concentrate on those blessings you have. You are lucky at your age to still have a living father.

Parents are free to live their own lives when their children reach adulthood. As you point out, what your father has done is not uncommon. Please, for your own sake, stop blaming him and embrace the life that you have.

She and her friends have every right to be weirded out about older parents having kids. If he's in his sixties now what will happen when the twins are 16 and are ready for drivers ed? How well will an 80ish man handle college tours for not one but two kids? What about when she takes her kids on fun vacations and her half-siblings see how much more fun it would be to go without a senior citizen parent? Will she be guilt tripped into taking her half siblings to? If he dies or has life changing illness will she and her husband be asked to step up?

5/28/25 Note: Savannah readded to current stories

5/17/25 Note: added future fics/updated Amber story/Glee TNG; Dear Abby; Savannah; Amber moved to On Hold

4/23/25 Note: will update with finished/future stories