The supervillain dug their talons deep into the hyperventilating villain's neck. This was unbelievableāthe villain was nothing, nothing, how did they sneak in?
"I should kill you," they said coldly.
The villain made a noise wholly born of fright. "Please, please, don't, I want to make a dealāhah!" They choked down a sob, bit down on their lip to do it, when one of the supervillain's sharp talons scraped down their skin. "They wouldn't let me in, you have to believe me. You can't possibly think I was trying to sneak in to, like, stealā"
The supervillain yanked them up, so they were sitting on their desk. A bottle of ink had spilled and matted part of their brown hair black. The villain didn't dare move, tensing up every muscle in their body.
The supervillain clenched their jaw and squeezed the villain's neck, making them whimper in fright. "Tell me how you broke in," they said lowly and through their teeth, "from where you broke in, and why you thought sneaking up behind me was worth a deal I could reject."
"Let me tell you about the deal first!" the villain said, and then screamed when the supervillain raked sharp talons down their skin. "Flowers! Flowers. I brought sleepy poppies to the back guards and acted smitten and said I wanted to give it to you. They sniffed it and were out like a light in minutes. And thenāI used their fingerprints and keycards and stuff to get in."
The villain sniffled. "I grew them experimentally. They're mine."
The supervillain rolled their tongue, beyond furious that a stupid thing like them could trick their guards. Somebody was going to die tonight.
"There's people constantly on watch," they said. "Constantly at work. You will tell me exactly how you got inside my office."
The villain pointed up, to the open vent. They dug in their pocket and took out a pen. "Heated the grates off. I didn't wanna make noise."
The supervillain yanked the pen out of their grip. They took the cap off and found a piece of metal that was in a similar shape as the cigarette lighters in cars inside.
The villain sobbed in panic when they glared. "Why are you mad? I wasāI wasn't going to do anything badā" they shut up when the vampire sneered.
"You're not even in gear."
The villain's voice came out in a loud, panicked shout. "Because I wasn't going to fight you!"
"Shut up!" The supervillain yanked them close. The villain's eyes were wide, their chest rising up and down unsteadily, their knuckles white as their hands turned to fists. "You come into my lair, my office, with nothing but a piece of metal that can get hot and flowers, and you think I should appreciate your brain because you got past a couple useless guards?"
Blood was already dripping from the shallow wounds the supervillain had given them on their neck, scented sweet. It would be so, so easy to just squeeze and stop their whining. The villain's face twisted. "I didn't come here to make a useless deal!"
"Then why, pray tell, did you come here? To join me?"
"I came here because superhero's gonna kill you!"
The supervillain froze. For a moment all the anger and arrogance left them as they stood there to process. The villain was red-cheeked and panting, and the part of their hair matted with ink was drying into a solid clump.
Slowly, the supervillain turned their talons back to their cold fingers. "Nobody can kill me."
The villain half-scoffed half-laughed, and it came out halfway broken. "You're a vampire."
The suāthe vampire froze, once more. The villain was clutching the edge of their expensive desk now. The ink bottle had a dark pool around its mouth, staining the mahogany.
"Silver hurts you! Andā" the villain took a breath too big and coughed. "And your hands are cold," they said miserably, as though temperature was their biggest worry right now.
"Silver doesn't hurt me, I wear silver jewellery. What are youā"
The villain slipped their hand under the vampire's sleeve and held their wrist, and immediately the vampire's skin burned. And it wasn't like their skin heated up, no. It was like blue fire had touched their skin, like their nerve endings were sizzling.
The vampire screamed. The villain went pale and started to snatch their hand back, but the vampire took it and slammed them back down on the table.
In rage the vampire caught their face in their fingers, digging their human nails into the hollows of their cheek. The villain took their turn to scream in fear. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, my ring is silver andāI'd been careful not toā"
"Fine," the vampire gritted out. "Fine. I'm a god damn vampire. How did you find out?"
The villain took a remarkably steady breath, visibly swallowing down all of their sobs and hiccups and the rest of their pathetic crying. "You don't appear on camera. Your body is cold. I came here before, way back before I became a villain, as some else's arm candy. I noticed you didn't have a single thing that was real silver. Gold, brass, steel, bronze, diamondāyou had everything except silver. I..." The villain's breath hitched.
The villain took a breath halfway through their nose before they realised it came as an annoying sniffle, and took in the rest through their mouth. "I kept notes. I theorised that your weakness was silver. You kept it hidden well but..."
"And the superhero now knows?" The vampire squeezed the villain's jaw. "She knows because you told her, didn't you? And she's going to kill both of us now because you couldn't keep your fucking mouth shut?"
The villain frantically shook their head. The spilled bottle of ink was right by their head. "They broke into my place and went through my stuff." They lifted the arm of theirs that wasn't pinned down to the table and shook it to shimmy down the sleeve. The vampire turned their head and saw the beginning of what looked like a deep cut that just missed their vein. "I've got these all over me. They found out my theories on you and kept me alive just because they thought I had something that could kill you. I lied and said I did."
The villain's face twisted in anxious frustration. "Why does it matter? Why does it matter at allāI ran when they weren't looking!" They curled away from the villain's sharp talons. "Please, please, I promise I only came here to warn you."
The villain looked at them tearily. "And for protection from heroes."
The vampire gritted their teeth. They'd kept the silver thing hidden well, and for so long. If the villain had figured it out just because they happened to connect a few dots...
Well, it seemed like they were slacking off. And as cowardly and weak as the villain was, they'd clearly been silently observing a lot of people, and they were also resourceful and intelligent.
The vampire brought them up again. "I don't care about you, let's make that clear."
"Well, I don't care about you either." The villain frowned childishly, sniffling. The vampire laughed in amusement.
"Good, so this relationship is purely professional. You must know what the superhero's weakness are."
"Some," the villain said. "She's good at hiding it if something hurts her, but she's always shocked first." The vampire caught them flexing their ringed hand. "As strong people always are."
The vampire looked back at the villain. The villain quickly realised that the vampire had clocked that movement and paled, and then quickly flushed and opened their mouth to no doubt apologise, but the vampire ignored them.
"Work with my men," they said. They let go of the villain's neck, which was now red and bleeding, and placed a finger over their chest. "Co-operate. They will send me periodic reports on you."
The villain's features lifted in shock, and then they took in a relieved breath. "So you'll offer me protection?"
"Thank you, oh my God, thank you. I was so scared you wouldn't, I'm so grateful and I...I..." They trailed off as the vampire began to make their way to their office doors.
"Be gone from my office by the time I come back," the vampire said, hand on the door handle. "I need to sort things out and fire a couple guards."
The villain wiped off all traces of their act from their face, and twisted their silver ring around their finger.
They took that stupid bottle of ink and threw it to the ground, and then put their head in their hands and groaned.
God, if they were busted, they'd so dead.
