#deadpool headcanons

Wade Wilson/Deadpool x gn!reader | Fluff | A/N: Sorry for not posting in a while yall, I had a huge test this month and needed to lock in 😮‍💨 Writing this lil thing for my man tonight, cuz it's just atrocious out here... wrong tagging for fics w/ completely diff characters, almost no content to begin with... Baby deserves better

✧ Dating Deadpool is a once in a lifetime kind of experience. There’s no one else quite like him, and when you finally get past the brazen jokes and his terrifying collection of weapons, you find a man that’s sweet and funny and adores you to bits.

✧ It takes a little while for Wade to feel at ease with taking his mask off around you… charisma and loudness aside, there is a part of him that fears the moment you see his true face, you’ll never want to see him again. It wouldn’t be the first time someone ran for the hills, and the thought of you following suit is enough to keep the mask on. The day he shows you- the day you tell him he’s still handsome and you aren’t going anywhere- is the day he falls in love.

✧ Even when he’s away on missions he still makes time to check in with you, whether that’s through facetime or spamming you with texts. He’s not shy to let you know just how much he misses your company and how hard he’s gonna hug (ahem) you when he comes home. If he’s been gone for longer than a week, you’ll often wake up to 10+ sickly sweet couple memes sent to you, like the ones of two cats sleeping together and cuddling. He’s a man in love, what is he to do?

✧ The banter is on a whole other level. Flirty, witty, teasing and insanely funny; it’s nothing like you’ve ever known before, and nothing you would ever trade. If you can keep up with the infamous Merc with a Mouth and give it right back to him, he’ll be swooning over you like a cat in heat.

✧ He’s a big fan of petnames, and the cheesier they are the better. Poohbear, honeybuns, peanut, smooshiepoo; in your boyfriend’s eyes, there is no such thing as “too cringey”.

✧ Wade has serenaded you on a couple occasions, and yes there was a dance number involved. 

✧ Loves it when you take his clothes and wear them outside or around the house. There’s something incredibly intimate and domestic about seeing how his clothes fit on your body, and it just makes him feral. (He steals your underwear in return—it’s only fair after all).

✧ Speaking of clothes, Wade is enthusiastic about matching with you. You have plenty matching t-shirts and hoodies scattered in your wardrobe, some more appropriate than others. It’s like he makes it an objective to get the most tasteless and publicly unacceptable ones to add to your collection. For example, he got you a shirt that says ‘I beat my meat’ in big bold letters, and a matching one for him that says ‘Hi, I’m meat.’ He pouted until you finally relented and wore it (the stares you both got that day were uncountable).

✧ He even got you your very own Deadpool costume so you could match him. His cuteness aggression that day was something else, and you were lovingly dubbed his babypool. Some of those adoring kisses did turn to bites.

✧ He is constantly looking at you with so much adoration and love, his eyes might as well be big red hearts. He’ll cup your cheek and kiss your face like you’re the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

✧ His love language? All of them, all the time. He brings you little trinkets and snacks whenever he can, and he has your coffee/tea order memorized. He’s constantly curious about the things you enjoy and like to do, and so it’s easy for him to remember when it comes to giving you gifts.

✧ Will genuinely, actually squeal if you get him/do something for him in return. He’s feeling down and you bring him a chimichanga? He mentions wanting something sweet and you make him some cookies? Oh, there’s tears in his eyes.

✧ He’ll draw pictures of you two together and hang them up on the fridge for you to find in the morning. Some are… more explicit than others.

✧ Dating the Deadpool is never boring, and you get exactly what you see. He’s always dragging you on late night adventures that end up with you two in places you’ve never been before, completely lost. One time he told you to come to the roof and he was waiting for you inside a helicopter. Yes, it was stolen. Surprisingly though, his dates can be very thoughtful and sweet, and he makes it a point to plan them often to keep the spark alive.

….as your boyfriend.

description: deadpool as your boyfriend!

pairing: deadpool x you!

contains: 18+, mentions of sex!

|an: just saw deadpool & wolverine.. couldn’t help myself.

- awful with emotions but always finds a way to make up for things whether through humor or sex.

- speaking of humor you’re never not laughing with him, or bickering, or fucking

- you’re the only person he can actually feel vulnerable and comfortable with, he cherishes that and he loves you so much for that.

- you’re his person, he would genuinely kill for you if it meant he would lose someone so important in his life.

- if someone makes you sad, mad or uncomfortable ooo…not his babygirl.

- he usually doesn’t keep people or friends in his loop often, they could find him annoying or over the top but not you.

- you love absolutely everything about him, his outlandish humor, his extroverted personality, his big ol’ mouth. you think it’s so hot.

- so hot when he’s mean to you so hot when he’s soft with you

- you literally bicker like two teenage girls all the time and he always somehow clocks your tea it’s ridiculous but you also find it impressive that he always has something to say that you cannot come back from😭

- god you need to pray that no man ever even has the thought of coming on to you… he’ll experience some banter with your boyfriend before it’s lights out.

- not only are you his but he’s yours! he’s super loyal and if he can’t get someone to back off , you sure will!

- you’re always having fun with him date nights are some of the best times of your life, he always finds a way to entertain you no matter what you’re doing.

- always gotta hand somewhere, your ass, a singular cheek, a titty, somewhere. how could you expect him not to! you’re all his.

- you literally have him wrapped around your finger, he’d do absolutely anything for you.

- also always bullying you he is so straightforward😭

“hon that has got to be the ugliest shirt i’ve ever seen on you”

“wade-“

“i know you got better in that closet that i snoop through and try on all your clothes when you aren’t home now go!”

- he’s so tall so if you’re short oh wow…you’re never catching a break

“soooo how’s the weather down there.” wade said, placing his elbow on the crown of your head.

“prick…”

…

“yeah that’s enough of that dirty mouth!” your boyfriend had announced before bending down and wrapping an arm around your behind, throwing you over his shoulder and positioning his palm on your ass.

“god, wade put me down!” you’d laughed playfully hitting his back.

“don’t make me have to spank you!” he said, lighting pinching your ass.

- do not get an animal bc it will quickly become his center of attention and he will defend it over you.

“wade, we’re having my mom over please put it in the room”

“ugh…she’s so mean isn’t she sugar?” he’d said stroking your pet, followed by a “yes she is yes she is!” as the animal licked his face.

sigh.

- good lord we got a cuddle monster on our hands!

- absolutely adores any type of affection and practically begs you for it 24/7. he loves being little spoon specifically. also loves it when u scratch or message his back, bc that also gets him going..

- speaking of, you got this guy rock solid 24/7

“hungry for seconds?” he joked, hugging you from behind and pressing his hardened cock against your ass.

“we literally jus-“ you’d started just to be interrupted mid sentence.

“so! cmon baby throw a dog a bone.” he muttered, hand already gripping your inner thigh.

you’d sighed, god you can’t resist him.

- it doesn’t matter what you’re doing he finds anything you do hot i stg

- a M-U-N-C-H! for life, literally came in his pants from eating you out once! he loves making you feel good.

- a goofball during sex he cannot do shit seriously😭 he be talking you and your pussy thru it!

- again, if you’re petite god help you bc he is large.

- babe, you better match his freak because yall doing anything.

i NEED more info about jealous sex with them specifically

please and thank you 💋💋

Jealousy Sex - Logan Howlett & Wade Wilson

Pairing: Logan Howlett x reader (no pronouns are used but has a pussy) x Wade Wilson

Genre: smut/nsfw

CW: poly! relationship, jealousy, possession, scent kink/scenting, taunting & humiliation, oral, double penetration, unprotected sex, creampie, AFTERCARE

omg of course!! the two of them being jealous over you would be such a handful >~< id love to write a full length of this sometime too!! thank you for the request lovely 💓

..... 😈

Deadpool x GN! Reader silly romantic headcanons! 😝

For the FREAKS🫵

His little wade is rising like jesus before my very eyes

(Note, after this I'll drop some specifically male reader ones bc gay marvel fans get no crumbs on tumblr, but for now its GN because people forget hes pansexual💔 I also may write more for him in general bc its also like a gift for my deadpool loving bestfriend)

Warnings: suggestive topics bc...its freakpool..

Like he pretends to be incompetent on missions to get Logan out of the house to ‘save him’ even though Wade is one of the top mercenaries in the world.

Or he’d rather crash on Althea’s couch and act like he’s poor when everyone knows he could just do a million dollar merc job and be set for months. But he doesn’t because he’s lonely and who else will help Althea walk down the stairs when their shitty elevator stops working?

Or Laura’s complaining about homework and Wade perks up and takes it as an invitation to start rambling about nothing and it causes Laura to actually start working on her homework when she realizes she’d rather do math instead of listen to a rant about modern family.

Idk just. HIM

ᯓ★ Being in a polyamory relationship with these two. (A dream inspired this AHAHHA–) fluff, lots of bickering between the two, funny/goofy shit, bit of jealousy/possessiveness, reader is fem!!

This whole relationship is a mess.

I'm talking never getting a moment of peace kind of mess.

For example this one time you drove the Honda Civic.

Nobody understood why you were the one behind the wheels 'cause now you're ramming into everything with Logan grabbing on the handle for dear life while Wade is having the time of his life at the back.

"Stop the damn car before we crash, bub! Yer gonna kill someone!" Logan shouted and at the same time Wade was screaming out the lyrics to "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC.

Did I mention how different these two are with you?

Wade loves it when you run to hug him, he would swing you around a couple of times with your legs wrapped around his waist.

As for Logan, he prefers something less than that. A simple hug is enough and you can't complain much about it because the way he completely engulfs you in his embrace always made your chest flutter.

It's no surprise that they are protective over you.

Like when you were captured by some troops in the void. The fire guy, Johnny Storm, couldn't help but try to flirt with you. He figured why not shoot his shot right?

"Hey..." He'd say, flashing you a cheesy smile.

And seeing his attempt to charm you, you couldn't help but find it amusing and chuckle.

Clearly the two didn't like it.

Which is why that may or may not be the reason why Wade decided to out the man and get him killed 🤷‍♀️ I guess we'll never know 🤔

You and Wade enjoy pulling pranks on Logan.

The sight of him being pissed off pleases you both.

There was this one time you guys swapped his whiskey to a non-alcoholic drink and you can imagine his frustration.

"WADE!!" But he can never get mad at you. He just can't.

Even Wade complains about this privilege of yours.

"Seriously Lo?! You're gonna get mad at me and not our lovely prank partner here? Come on man, we're both guilty parties in this crime scene. If you wanna get angry, at least share the spotlight :("

Cue you sticking your tongue out at Wade as he pouts with puppy dog eyes.

All jokes aside, the two love and support you dearly.

I like to think Logan is more of an old romantic and Wade is the adventurous type.

That's why it can sometimes take a while for them to decide what to get as a present for you.

"Why the fuck would she want a pillowcase with our faces on it?" Logan asked with genuine disgust in his eyes.

"Why wouldn't she?! It's cute as fuck, and you can never have too many pictures of us together. Besides, it's a lot cheaper than buying a life-sized statue of me for her bedroom, although that's an option too, I hear Wolverine-shaped body pillows are all the rage these days" Without realising, he continued on muttering nonsense to himself which had Logan roll his eyes.

"I'm buying her the leather jacket and it's final" Not letting Wade say anything, he'd walk off to the cashier with him left behind. His action causing him to get irritated.

"What about the budget?!?!" He'd raise his voice but Logan simply ignored him. Fed up, he stomps on his feet as he points at his back.

"Fine, you big lug!! I'll let you have your way this time. But don't come crying to me when she dumps us for a pair of more decisive superheroes!!" He'd shout.

In the end you appreciated the gifts you got for your birthday. Each gift speaks for their character.

You guys definitely have lazy days.

Days where you'll lounge around in pajamas and watch cheesy romantic comedies together, complete with a pile of blankets and snacks.

Expect there to be lots of laughter, cringing, and the occasional eye rolling. Not to forget how you three would start making fun of the characters and the cliche plotlines.

Logan clearly struggles to sit through the entire movie marathon and you always have the to be the one to pull his arm to prevent him from leaving.

"Gimme a break, bub. It’s the same damn thing every time— the good guy wins, the bad guy loses. It’s like they think we got the emotional range of a rock"

"Gee, what a buzz kill. But are they wrong though? You practically live like a rock!!" Wade laughed with Logan letting out a scowl.

Thank goodness you're dating them or else they'd be fighting almost all the time.

In the relationship you're the peacemaker

No but seriously Wade calls you that and the nickname has stuck to you.

You enjoy sleeping in the middle with the two on either sides. Half of the time you always wake up with the two fighting over you.

Just imagine Logan pulling you closer to him but before he could even do that, Wade would be quick to pull you back to his embrace despite them both being asleep.

You like to think it's their reflexes. That even when sleeping they're still fighting with each other 😭

However you absolutely adore the two.

Logan will MELT when you kiss his knuckles. Especially when you do it with your eyes locked to his. He will literally go feral for you.

And Wade? He absolutely loveloveloves it when you baby him. It's his guilty pleasure. Hold him close with his face placed against your chest and he swears the voices in his head finally quiets down. That's why you're his angel.

Also, the two really enjoy showering you with kisses. You can barely ever hold back a smile with the two smooching every surface of your face.

Will do anything to get your praise.

The competitiveness is too much.

Oh Logan got you a bouquet? Well Wade got you a bouquet made of tacos. Who's the better one now huh? 😋

To be fair Wade is Wade. There's nothing you can do about it... but that doesn't mean Logan is ever gonna let him get his way.

"Where's Wade?" You'd ask, watching Logan sink on the sofa beside you.

"Don't know... could care less..." He'd say, wrapping an arm around you to snuggle with you. In the other room Wade has been stuffed inside the closet. Completely restrained and duck taped.