#de jean

my personal headcanon for how Jean and Judit met? they go way back – as in middle school back. she's nicer than just about anyone else he keeps as company, and he's more caustic than most of her friends, but it works for them. she's capable of showing him the kind of patience his peers never gave him. he's capable of being brutally honest with her.

when Jean was about 11, he was sick in bed with smallpox. so sick, in fact, that a doctor came into his dusty bedroom to perform the Stations of the Breath. but when the doctor was leaving, a little girl had knocked on the door, and brought a briefcase to Jean's room. it was Judit. she had thought Jean woul be terribly alone – and, feeling sorry for him, she'd brought board games for him.

he didn't appreciate the pity, but it turned out that she was lethally skilled at Suzerainty. he didn't win a single time that night, and went to bed swearing revenge. in the morning, he realised his rage had kept him alive.

she came back again and again, and bested him in yet more rounds of Suzerainty, but it wasn't out of sympathy. she appreciated his company, and he, despite himself, appreciated hers. they've been close ever since.

they would argue an awful lot – Jean is an avowed atheist, while Judit has a messy but intense relationship with Dolorianism. they'd bicker over the moral implications of faith, and debate whether Dolores Dei was a hero or a monster. neither of them had many other friend. Jean has always driven others away pre-emptively, to protect himself from the dangers of intimacy. Judit was always too quiet to integrate into many friend groups – at best, she became a receptacle for others' secrets. so she and Jean had a great deal of time to themselves. he taught her to ride a horse. she taught him how to do pull-ups.

they've been there throughout each other's low points. if Judit's having an especially bad night at home, she will crash at Jean's place, even if it means she has to clean his sick off the walls and disinfect his wounds. when he's been suicidal, she's been the one playing Suzerainty with him over the coffee table, or challenging him to Go Fish in hospital. when she's had crises of faith, he's held her, and when she realised she needed to do something that would matter with her life, he ensured that her application to join the RCM was seen to immediately. she keeps narcan on her person in case he's especially strung out. he babysits her children on days her husband is missing and she's tired. her husband doesn't know about Jean's speed addiction or opioid habit, but then again, he doesn't need to know. as far as Judit's kids are concerned, Jean is their uncle. he's not officially their godfather, but if Judit died overnight, she knows that Jean could look after them. in return, Jean knows that if her dies, he'd trust nobody but Judit to care for his horses.

it's always been a messy relationship. in highschool, Judit and Jean didn't love each other romantically, but both figured that whatever they had was close enough to romance that they should sleep together. they both regretted it – she felt like she'd ruined a close friendship in order to prove to herself she could be desired carnally, and he felt he'd used her to run from his own homosexuality. somehow, they both talked it out. somehow, they moved on, and remained extremely close friends.

I don't know why I find this line so funny 😭🙏