#ddemmet

He could say that now, but it was far from the reality that he had lived in what he considered his 'first life.' To be fair, he had no definitive knowledge that he hadn't experienced lives before it, but it was as far back as he was capable of remembering. It was definitely noteworthy, in all the wrong ways. Even now, his stomach clenched so hard with anxiety he thought he might be sick.

His first brother, the one he'd sworn to forget, had been interacting with his new brother. They were both named Ingo, but he had been working hard on removing any association in his mind with the first one to that name. Only the second one was his beloved older brother, his twin who was by his side with unconditional support. He could hear his voice without wincing, turn his brightest smile to him, and know things were going to work out okay.

But. While at first Ingo had been rightfully wary of the Other Ingo, slowly but surely his distrust and scorn had started to fade. It was almost as if they were starting to get along.

Emmet's eyebrows furrowed, a simmering feeling of discontent in his chest just barely overwhelming his jitters. He had never before felt jealous of his brother turning his attention towards anyone else - Ingo could be friends with whoever he wished! Emmet trusted him, knew they would be together forever no matter who else Ingo got along with. And it wasn't as though they always had to be together either. Ingo was strong and capable and able to take care of himself.

But the Other Ingo… surely this was a manipulation tactic just as in their first life. Back then, no one believed Emmet when he said that Other Ingo couldn't be trusted, that he was by default deceptive. Other Ingo had been excellent at lying, convincing everyone that he had Emmet's best interest at heart. They battled challengers every day on the subway, rewarding winners with BP, and encouraging words for everyone else. Even the agents barely noticed anything amiss; though, Emmet had realized when he'd escaped that the Agents of his original life were somehow not the Agents he'd encountered in the world he had found himself in. To the people of his original life, he was just a bit clumsy, a little absent-minded, and 'too excited to battle' to get proper sleep.

Emmet huffed in frustration as he remembered all the excuses everyone had been given to explain away his terrible health and physical condition.

Now, he was healthy in every life he experienced with his Ingo. He was happy and well rested and able to have friends and-! Eventually, the fear that Other Ingo would appear had faded. He no longer looked over his shoulder expecting to be followed, he could live a life where he was a Subway Boss again without flashes of horrific memory causing him hesitation.

But then-! But then!!! He showed up one day, sharp eyes watching Emmet even when he interacted with Ingo. The gaze was almost mocking, as if to say “I can get as close to you as I want, and no one will stop me.” Panic had overwhelmed Emmet the first time he had seen him in close proximity to Ingo. His older brother must have thought him weak and embarrassing. So Emmet had held himself together, swallowing his wish to yell at Other Ingo to go away! He didn't want to beg to be left alone, because he knew Other Ingo wouldn't allow it.

'Somehow,' he thought with a tangled mixture of frustration, annoyance and dread, 'I have been tricked into speaking with him.

The first attempt had gone poorly, as expected. In fact, Emmet had learned enough self-worth to walk out of the special room the Train had provided them when Other Ingo started to say inappropriate things. He'd held his composure, and firmly left without allowing Other Ingo to trick him into reducing his boundaries. It had felt powerful in the moment, but he'd been reduced to choked tears right after leaving, falling into his brother's embrace the moment he saw him.

Despite that, he'd agreed to another meeting, now with the added rule that he was free to leave the moment he decided he didn't want to be there any more. If Other Ingo said the wrong thing, if his fear swelled, if he just decided he would rather be doing something more interesting… It didn't matter, he was free to leave. Any future meetings they had would also be scheduled in advance, and Emmet had the right to cancel if he wanted to without a complaint from Other Ingo.

It had been agreed upon, something Emmet had not expected. But now, he waited on a seat that looked identical to the ones on the Subway in their lives, staring at the door he was to enter for the meeting. And again, he was barely holding back his shaking, trying to convince himself it was a good idea.

He was Emmet. He was strong. He was in control here. He had to face this, or else his past would always linger in the shadows.

Reminding himself of how far he'd come, he stood up and his clothes changed to the altered Subway Master suits he and his Ingo wore. At their core, it was very similar to the one he had worn with Other Ingo, still white and long, striped and crisp. But he felt powerful in this new outfit. He felt like a true Subway Master.