#dc robins

A goon attempting to surrender after hitting Robin so hard he has a concussion: Wait! Wait! I'll tell you everything, just don't-

Dick, dangling the rogue over the edge of a roof: I already fucking know everything, dipshit

Goon: How? How could you-?

Dick: the fucking bats told me

A canon event in ever teenager's life is someone older showing them that Axe bodyspray and a lighter make a pretty decent flame thrower.

Ik Tim is a genius and prolly knows that already, but that's not the point.

I gave Jason a clipper as a lighter cause they are superior.

Pair: Raccoon!Reader x Platonic!Robins au

AU: If Batman adopted all the batboys as when they were robins. The robins found, especially Damian, found y/n in a trash bin and adopted the hybrid as a sibling and now it’s chaotic with the raccoon. The robins are 8-12 years old.

Summary: when a toy car gets the hybrid an idea where to get food.

It’s a hot summer day, the Wayne brothers, the robins who exchange simple places during patrol as robins. The robins are relaxing in this faithful day, the yellow-orange sun beaming on the boys as they were in the back yard.

Dick, the oldest kid was doing cartwheels.

Tim, the second youngest who is admiring his big brother with big blue eyes, clapping and cheering.

Damian, the youngest of the brothers who’s playing fetch with Titus.

And you, a random raccoon hybrid child who they found randomly and got adopted to the family. But there’s one robin you’re close to. And that’s Jason. The second eldest.

Jason was reading to you, speaking in a soft tone. He knew you don’t know English phrases well as you let out a soft chirp. You were truly the youngest of them all. “And then the.. the hungry caterpillar ate the apple in one big gulp.” You lean your head into Jason’s shoulder, making him has his head on yours.

“The caterpillar is realllly hungry, chirpy.” You chirped as you place your small hand onto the caterpillar word of the book. “Ca-aaaa” trying to say the word, Jason’s eyes light up as he puts the book onto your lap.

“Yes! Cat-er-pil-lar.” He says slowly. “Cat….uh….pill… lar. Cara pillar!” Jason chuckled out loud. “You tried your best [nickname]!” He pets your head whilst you chirped, smiling wide showing your sharp canines.

Dick coming showing off his backflips, he then flips into air, perfecting the perfect landing in front of you and Jason. With a proud smile, he gives off a bow as Tim comes over with a smile. “That was amazing Dick!”

“I know right.” Dick turns to you, wanting also your approval.

“Cmon, say that your big brother is cool… say it…” he thought as he placed his hands onto his hips.

“Rich!” You pointed at him with a small yell.

Dick deflated at how you used his real name in your own way. After Damian said his full name in anger and out of petty, your small brain started to call him “rich”.

Jason hollers with Damian in the back coming with Titus, holding the big dog on a leash with a smug smile. Tim could only snicker behind his hand whilst Dick could only dramatically sigh louder.

“It’s not funny… you guys have to stop saying my full name in front of them.” Dick sits by you, petting your head. Letting out a chirp of appreciation, you take your head from Jason’s shoulder and put it on Dick’s shoulder.

Jason grabs his book back from your lap, the two young brothers then sat around like a circle. Just you and the boys as you play with Dick’s fingers.

“Well I’m bored.” Tim says with slight crossed arms, Damian nods as he pets Titus and then look at you who is just minding your own business. Dick and Jason were by your side like some kind of guards protecting the royal.

The boy couldn’t help but puff his cheeks, he wants to be a knight for you just like in those fantasy stories Jason reads him.

Moments later of just sitting in boredom, heat bouncing on the boy’s back even more before the beginning of this evening.

Your stomach soon started to growl, making your brothers get up and stare at you.

“Hungry?” In unison they all said as Titus barked and go inside to go alarm Alfred in his dog language that you’re hungry.

“Ah… ah..” rubbing your stomach with a frown, you guess that doing nothing really made you hungry. Although you would love some fruits with nuts or at least some crackers, you feel hungry for… some junk food.

Looking around, you seen a toy car that Bruce bought Jason for Christmas. Smiling mischievously, you got up and went over to it. Dick’s eyes widen as if he knew your little plan already.

“Ah ah! No! No!” Dick runs over to you with Jason and the other hot on his tail. You get in, checking the battery of this Giant 24v Big Kids Ride On Super Car XXL 180W Motor & Rubber Tires black car.

It’s ready. And you already know where to go. You buckled up, ready to step on the peddle. That was before Dick grabbed you up and Jason unbuckling you.

Tim and Damian push the car from you.

“Y/N! As your big brother, and as big brothers do protecting their siblings. You’re not getting in that car!” He points when finishing his last sentence at the car that’s being guarded by the younger brothers.

“Unfair! Unfair!” You chanted, stomping your feet with your ears flatten and your ringed grey tail going under between your legs.

Jason could only frown as Dick glares at you. “You can say ‘unfair’ all you want, but I’m putting my foot down.” When Dick was angry, he was angry. A glaring battle between you and the first robin, the second robin that is witnessing this puts a hand on his older brother’s shoulder.

“Hey bro, why not just let them do it? We can just make sure they don’t get harmed.” Dick whips his head to glare at Jason. Jason stared back, not impressed by the glare. He’s seen worse than a boy that’s older than him stare him down like an angry mother.

Finally letting it go, seeing it was having no effect on him. Dick sighs and loosens up to look back at the raccoon child trying to get through two young robins to the sweet toy ride.

“I.. guess so.” Said hesitantly by the first Robin who goes over to the raccoon who’s trying to get through the younger brothers. Not even trying to use their claws on the two.

“Y/N.”

You turned towards dick with a glare, hissing at him which makes him flinch back before standing up straight.

“…What’s your plan?” Those words made you drop the hostility and smirk.

“Me. Know.”

And know you did as Dick screams trying to control the car while you were on Jason’s lap screaming with joy. The car rides into the road with cars zooming past and swerving. Jason held your waist tightly with a bright smile as Damian and Tim held onto each other tightly.

“WOOOHOOO!!” You yelled as the civilians around either moved around or scolded the boys and you for being reckless.

Dick started to swerve, making Jason hold you tighter, hiding his face into your back while you clapped chaotically. Tim screams, having Damian pushed him away for “blowing his ear drum”. Finally you guys stop a red stop sign due to yknow, following the law.

Each one of y’all has messy hair and different expressions from this crazy ride.

“I think I’m gonna -gag- hurl..” Tim covers his mouth as Damian scrunches his face. “Don’t barf next to me drake!” Dick let’s put a calming breath and fix his hair. “Is everyone alright?” Jason a lifts his face up, smiling wide as you kept clapping.

“Yeah, chirpy here is happy, so I am too.” Jason watched how your eyes light up. “Go! Reen!” You pointed at the green traffic light. Dick couldn’t help but chuckle and drive slowly this time. He was getting the use to driving, although he may like to drive a motorcycle one day.

This time the drive was calm, Tim was better as he glared at Damian who kept making small comments to him. You played with Jason’s fingers that were on your waist while the said boy was relaxing with his eyes closed. Feeling the wind through his red hair.

Dick hums a simple tune as he sees batburger and smiles. “Guys, how about we stop for some grub? Since Y/N is hungry.”

Immediately the boys nodded eagerly, you chirped as you stopped playing jason’s fingers and gave a thumbs up.

Dick smiles with a soft chuckle, pulling over to the drive thru. As he pulls up with the toy car, he leans on the door. A feminine voice calls from the intercom.

“Hello, welcome to Batburger! What can we get you?”

“What do you guys want?” Dick says as he turns to look at his siblings and the hybrid. Tim hums before nodding as he calculated his want of order. “The Bat-Mite meal, but I also want a Choco-Bat Milk.” Tim finished as Dick notes that, he turns to the green eyed boy who has his arms crossed.

“I don’t see why I have to say my order, you already know what I want, Richard.” Dick has an unimpressed face before telling the intercom for a Bat-Mite meal. Damian scoffs. Jason leans over dick to look as he points to the menu.

“The Batburger Delxue with the dark sprite.” Jason says with a smile as he turns to you who just stares at it. All the letters and words looked scrambled to you, you frowned, ears flattening whilst you looked at Jason who nods.

“Y/N will have the Bat-Mite meal,with the Robin nuggets. Bbq sauce and a small side of Dr. fries.” Dick could only stare at Jason before sighing. “It’s scary how well you know Y/N…” the red haired boy could only smirk. “That’s cause I’m their favorite.”

A harsh gasp was heard before Damian pulled jason’s head. “I am! You are not worthy of that placement!”

“WOAH WOAH!” Tim pulls the triggered boy away from Jason. Jason whips his head, wanting to throw hands, but he can’t risk to harm you so he just scoff and turns his head.

Dick nervously chuckles before looking at the menu. “I guess I’ll have the Batburger with just Dr. fries and ketchup packets.”

After the orders were made, they were told to pull up. But while pulling up, Tim says something that made everything stop.

“Wait.. we didn’t bring money.”

Dick slams on the break, almost flinging Damian out of the car before Tim pulled him down without looking.

“Shit.” Jason says, covering your ears while Dick gave him a slight glance. “Language.”

Now the boys looked at each other until you reached into your crazy hair and pulled out wads of money.

“Mon-mon!” Smiling proudly, the oldest gasped dramatically with Tim and Damian leaning over from the back to look.

“You been planned this!?” Tim exclaimed looking at your hands to see crumbled up bills of people you pickpocketed from the amount of swerving. But that’s just your little secret.

Jason takes the money from you and smirks, “Guess we’re eating good boys.” Dick begins to drive to the window, snatching the money from the red haired boy and giving it to a shocked employee who didn’t expect the sons is Bruce Wayne.. and some random raccoon looking kid who’s tail is swaying happily.

She grabs the money without any questions and give them their orders. Dick checked each bag to make sure the orders were correct before giving his siblings each of their meals.

“And what do we say?” Dick looked at his brothers before turning to the nice young lady.

“Thank you!!!!” Said in unison by the other brothers.

“Tha! Tha!” You said as you started to eat your nuggets. One of the people in the back recorded this moment with adoration in her eyes. “Aww this is so cute!!!”

Dick drives off with you guys eating, Damian looks into his bag, smiling happily that maybe he would get a Batman toy in his meal. As Tim finished his meal quickly and started to drink his chocolate milk, he sees Damian’s face dropped at seeing a joker figurine.

“MOTHERFUCK—”

“Language!”

Taking from all of this, and the obscurity of the night in Gotham, it wouldn't be surprising if the world continued to call her Batman

Now, imagine the surprise when the robins first arrived at home, and she takes off her cowl and what they expected to be a father was instead a mother.

Flabbergasted.

Turn that scenario to the JL, in a battle, her cowl is knocked off and each member gets punched in the face during the brief lapse in wonder and shock by the enemies as they witness a previously male-known member to be female