#dc gotham

Jason: *whispering* Uncle Dusan looks like he's about to fall over.

Damian: *in a similar hushed tone* Can you blame him? You know how Grandfather loves to drone on during meetings. It is the one time we are forced to listen to him without interruption.

Jason: *placing a pea on a spoon, preparing to fire it*

Damian: *whispering in a hurried voice* Akhi, what are you doing with your dinner?

Jason: Saving us from another boring meeting *flicks it at Uncle Dusan who flinches and wipes his drool from his lips*

Damian: *coughing to cover his giggle* Impressive aim.

Jason: *readying his spoon again* Mara looks murderous. She hasn’t stopped glaring since this shit started.

Damian: It is not like I intended to blind her. She should have dodged it.

Jason: Uh where the fuck was I for this? I don't remember-

Ra al Ghul: *standing at the head of the table* Jason. Is there a question that you yearn to have answered? You appear to be quite distracted when you should be paying attention given your position as Head Guard.

Jason: Sure do. So when you say Head Guard, that means like total control right? How many vacation days does that allocate-

Damian: Jesus Christ.

Jason: *continuing* It’s a valid question, Dami. Corporate America has ruined the world. We gotta get better benefits. What’s our dental like because this tooth has been decaying like a wet tictac-Wait can the Pit fix my tooth?

Ra al Ghul: *twitching* How insightful. Yes…I shall inform you as soon as I confirm with my members. Anything else?

Jason: *saluting* No, my Liege. Only that these peas are divine. My compliments to your chef. Continue, you’re doing great.

Ra al Ghul: *tiredly* Of course....As I was saying....

Damian: *lowering his voice* My liege? Where did you pull that from?

Jason: My ass. Ever heard of Attack on Titan? *launching another pea at Dusan but the spoon slips from his hand and flies across the table* Oh shit.

Dusan al Ghul: * awakening and screaming, flailing his arms* Guards! We are under attack! Secure my child immediately!

Damian: *covering his face* Oh for fucks sake, Jason. Why would you-

*several guards rush in with weapons, the members at the table scatter and scream.*

Talia al Ghul: *the sound of a blade twishing* Damian? Jason? Where are you? Guards- I command you to find my sons! Protect the heirs!

*Jason and Damian hiding under the table*

Jason: Well-You can’t blame this entirely on me. Your family is known for overreacting.

Damian: *hissing* Yes, I can AND I will. I will not be punished for your stupidity. I shall knock out your tooth myself.

Jason: I’m good. Brucie paid a pretty penny to fix my teeth.

Damian: Go to hell, Jason.

*Both boys jump as Dusan hits the floor, making eye contact with them.*

————————————————————————

Ra al Ghul: Both of you are remanded to your quarters until further notice. No sneaking off to the gardens. No access to the animal sanctuary. Have you anything to say regarding your behavior, such as an apology, before you are escorted to your rooms?

Jason: *raises hand*

Ra al Ghul: Yes, Jason?

Jason: *points at Dusan al Ghul* This is his fault. He has a trauma response so severe that he’d put veterans to shame.

Damian: *giggling* He is also the one that tried tackling you, Grandfather, to ensure your safety.

Ra al Ghul: Guards. Take them to their quarters immediately. Now.

Like

They go ice skating and Jason, 6ft and 225 pound, the Red Hood, is comically bad at ice skating. One foot on the ice and he’s on his back with his feet in the air like a cartoon.

And he denies it the whole time but his legs shake and he clings to the wall with white knuckles while muttering curses like he’s trying to spell his feet to work.

And Dick is just great with all his balance and figure skating stupid fucking acrobat bastard-

Or they decide to go see a movie as a family. It’s a horror movie, and they assume everyone will be fine because they see enough horror in their daily life.

And normally they would be, but this is a slasher. So it’s all suspense and jumpscares and gore. And Tim, Tim who loves psychological thrillers and can see movie endings coming from miles away, is suddenly clinging to Dick’s arm as subtly as possible because every scare has him tensing and trying not to yelp.

Or they go out to a carnival, with rollercoasters and bad food and worse games to win dumb prizes. They’re walking around, splitting up to do various activities, and Dick and Damian comes up to Bruce and asks him to go home.

Why? Because Dick drank too much soda, he refuses to use the bathrooms. He has an irrational fear of outhouses. And Damian saw one of the mascots walking around, a man in some kind of shitty lion suit with a vest, and is convinced the lion suited man is going to get him. (Bruce does take them home, but Jason teases them the whole way.)

Just silly things that show how they are people beneath the masks.

🎵 As we dance to the masochism tango 🎵

Riddlebird ☂️💚

I’ve fallen for the evil toxic yaoi too lol

• A hot new bombshell enters the villa•

Jason Todd x Reader ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Synopsis - When the house for two becomes a house for three, jealousy starts to arise Word count - 1.2k

With your boyfriend out of the apartment- busy fixing his bike with Roy, you had the entirety of the comfy bed to yourself. Stretched out on the plush comforter as you nosey yourself on whatever show you had became engrossed in, unaware of the rousing noise that echoed below you on the dark streets of Gotham.

Living in Gotham wasn't the best predicament to find yourself, truthfully with the rent so cheap you couldn't complain and with being able to find such a peaceful living environment with Jason- neither could complain.

Jason had found an ordinary, a constant within his raging mind, a solace in a world so hurried. Frankly he was just happy to be able to sleep in the same bed as you, to find familiarity within the cramped kitchen as the steam intertwines the both of you like a shielded wall from the dangers of his past,, to wake every morning with you by his side. You were the blessing of his life that all those years on the streets he had spent cold, hungry, and hurt, he had never expected to have been so lucky as to recieve.

Moving the many piles of your heavy brown boxes filled with your possessions into the empty, bare apartment those few months ago had been a time he had never forgotten, whether from the deep pit that had formed in his stomach as he glanced between the light boxes of his own compared to your own, how you had intertwined your hand with his own, spinning your body to his front as you attempt to block the image that had flushed his ears pink with embarrassment, it had been the start of it all, the 'revival' of Jason Todd.

However life was not a picturesque fairy tale, happy endings did not exist for Jason Todd- he knew that very well.

It seemed that your towering apartment above the crowded streets couldn't protect you from the rising murky waters of crime, too enwrapped in the rehearsed dialogue of the displayed reality tv show on the standing tv that wobbled on your shared dresser with every shut of a door, too relaxed to hear the thudding steps of danger nearing your door.

He should've known, he should've been there, Gotham was no place for the untrained person, no place for the isolated party of one.

Maybe things would've been different if he hadn't left, if you had been more aware of where you lived, if you understood the true nature of Gotham.

They grew closer to the front door, the resounding 'boom' of their feet was certainly not a sound of safety.

Doomed with their short height their hand trying to grasp the cold metal handle turns to thumping their body against the hard wood and eventually ends in defeat as they raise a fist to knock a brisk sign of finality.

Quirking your brows you slip yourself out of the warmth of bed, your feet padding to the door as you wonder who could be waiting for you on the other side, it couldn't be Jason- he had his own key after all, and truthfully you hadn't gotten around to inviting anyone over.

A smarter person would've hurriedly switched the lights on, hid under the bed and pretend no one was home, yet being who you were you made your way straight to the door, opening it wide as you stare in confusion at the empty sight.

'Do people even ding dong ditch anymore? Is that a thing anymore?'

A plush hit to your leg alerted you of your visitor, pulling you out of your thoughts as you glance downwards, aggressive eyes staring up at you.

"..This can't be real."

Stooping downwards you kneel to their miniscule height of six inches, you couldn't believe just what stood in front of you. You were confident you hadn't taken anything, yet you could feel that confidence slipping as you stare at the shockingly round teddy bear that sat at your door- practically shaking in anger.

"Is.. what.."

Dumbfounded at the shockingly fat figure of your boyfriend's persona of Red Hood no words of sense could leave your mouth.

Mistaking his furious shaking as being cold you confusedly invite him in, trying to hold your laughter at the slow waddling he moved with, he would honestly have moved faster if he had began rolling with his perfectly round body.

He had appeared from nowhere and had won you over without uttering a single word, just who exactly was this outlandish plushie?

Standing by the 'tall' cushioned sofas, glaring at you as he tilts his head at you, signalling like an agitated puppy for you to lift him upwards, and you did as he commanded.

Sitting with an air of arrogance as he observes the homely apartment, zoning in to a framed photo of a fiery summer day as Starfire, Roy and Jason hold you sideways, the beaming smiles plastered on all your faces was a sensation like no other, it was a day you had treasured with people you would call your own, friends like no other. Yet with the bash of his fist against the decorative pillows you had sworn were worth it to Jason, it was clear your unexpected guest did not share the same adoration for the blurry unfocused photo, a dark growl emitting from lips he didn't have.

Awkward silence stretched between you as you tap your fingers on the wobbly coffee table you had been meaning to fix since forever, what exactly were you meant to say to the strangely entitled, fat plushie of your boyfriend that could waddle around?

It was clear he had came with a plan, an agenda that had something to do with Jason, just what exactly had he done to enrage such a cute thing? Teddy? Well, whatever he was he was staying, you were sure of that as you gently pat his soft head.

Both of your attentions were captured by the opening door of the tense apartment as the larger Jason makes his way in, a pleasant smile making its way onto his face as the chubby Jason tries to make himself seen over the large back of the sofa.

Grasping your face as he leans in to press a soft kiss to your awaiting lips, unaware of the crashing ball that throws itself onto him, hitting him straight on the chest as it comically bounces off him, rolling onto the floor.

"What the hell was that??"

Practically jumping over the sofa to stare in astonishment at the writhing ball trying pathetically to stand up like a flipped turtle, squinting closer as he recognises the familiar pattern of... himself?

"Who.. what- what on Earth is this thing? Did you let it in??"

Unfortunately Jason hadn't learned from just a few seconds ago as he turns his back to the small ball of fury who had once again managed to launch himself with such an astounding strength it was almost applaudable. Whatever this otherworldly being was, it was clear he had plans with your boyfriend.

What exactly had Jason gotten himself into?

“gotham knows batman's identity cause of the amount of kids he has that”