#daymork

Disappointed? I told you to leave! Goodnight. And that was from me. No one wrote it.

They hug so, so well. The care and the love and the abandoned flower and the overheard love confession and the unspoken love confession and the past and the future and the love and the sadness and the pain.

I'm still not okay.

Now before I start this I need to state that this is not a defense of her actions, but of her, because since yesterday I've seen her labeled as abusive, selfish, a bitch, etc. and I find that incredibly unfair. That said, despite my many gripes with GMMTV one of the things I do applaud, particularly in this last year, is their multifaceted presentation of mothers/motherhood (see NLMG, MC, BBS, MSP for reference). Aof is one of the main representatives of this, from what I've seen so far one of the pillars of his work is family, not just the relationship between family and queerness but family as a whole with all its cultural, political and social implications. 

To understand what I mean by this it's necessary to open your mind to the idea that not all cultures function similarly, in many cultures it's not expected, or even acceptable, for a child to leave home as soon as they turn 18, in a lot of places you leave home when you're married, regardless of gender, because family is the center of everything, you are expected to care for your parents, their approval is priority sometimes even after you're married (something we see again and again in Thai BLs), and I know that for a lot of people that seems inconceivable and even abusive but that is part of the culture, family is ingrained in us, it is a primordial part of who we are. This is a big reason of why Day's response to being kept away from Mork isn't immediate anarchism, because, culturally what his mom is doing is the norm, he might not agree with it, but he understands it for what it is, so does Night and so does Mork, I even think Mork having no family left understands it better than anyone. 

Mohn’s (Day’s mom)actions come from a place of love and worry, again that doesn’t make them correct, but please remember that parents, and mothers in particular are not perfect, no one teaches you how to be a parent, and I love seeing how seriously Aof takes these complexities (there is nothing I adore more than Pran’s relationship with his mom in BBS). She is obviously scared, the amount of guilt swirling in that house must be asphyxiating, it has been established that she has had to neglect her children in a way (we see this in her not being able to take Day to the wedding, in his surprise at her canceling an event to spend time with them, and in the demands she puts on Night with regard to Day) because for her, work is a priority, and sure maybe one could think that now she can afford to take time off, but when you work yourself up to a stable situation after not even having enough to eat taking a break is scary because there is a sense/fear that if you stop, even for a second, it will all disappear again. Night and Day clearly understand this because the situation (probably for a very long time) was, either mom spends time with us or we eat, there's no way around it, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect them, hence party-boy Night and over-achiever Day.

Finally, I saw a few comments saying that the Christmas dinner felt fake that she didn't seem sorry, and yes it would be lovely and ideal for parents to just be able to say, “I'm sorry, I fucked up” but that's not always the case, sometimes they bring you chopped fruit or cook your favorite meal, and you understand what that means, apologies and love don’t always need to be vocal for them to be felt and understood. Ultimately, given that all of this took place in episode 10, it is obviously set up to be a moment of reflection for her, for her to realize that Day and Night deserve to live the life they want and that she can’t always be there to protect them, she has to learn to accept the fact that her sons are capable adults. Anyway, that’s my two cents for now, I’ll stop here or this will turn into an actual essay, but I could write so much more about it.

I am never going to let go of you