#daxton fic

Paxton winces again. “Wait. That sounded bad. I mean, I— I should’ve been honest, but I—” He stops and lets out a frustrated huff, his hands clenching into fists on his thighs. He inhales slowly and then catches her gaze. “I was embarrassed. I wasn’t lying; Trent and Marcus come on my dates, but I left out the reason.”

When he pauses, she gives him a jerky nod.

He swallows, looking away. “I’ve been on solo dates in the past, and some girls get— handsy. And sure, sometimes I’m into it, but sometimes—”

Devi inhales sharply, and his eyes snap back to hers.

“It’s fine,” he says immediately.

The fact that he’s so quick to try to reassure her is another nail in the coffin. “Paxton—”

Paxton shakes his head, eyes wide. He reaches a hand out towards her before abruptly pulling it back. “I obviously knew our date wouldn’t be like that—that you wouldn’t be like that—but Trent and Marcus saw how nervous I was and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I probably should’ve tried harder, but I guess I’m just used to having them around. And it felt like less pressure. I’m sorry.”

All right. Several things clamor for her attention: 1. Paxton was nervous for their date. 2. He apparently thinks that her primary concern is whether he thought that she—the girl who asked him to have sex with her the first time they spoke and then spread rumors about them hooking up—might just want to use him, rather than the fact that girls have gotten handsy when he didn’t want that. 3. The way Trent’s mom had nearly felt him up even with two other people in the room had been weird before, but thinking about it in this new context makes her feel sick.

Oh no.

4. She’s been silent for too long; Paxton’s shoulders are climbing towards his ears, and he looks about a second away from bolting.

She just needs to say something. Anything. Be supportive. She opens her mouth to assure him that she’s not mad, but of course the first thing she blurts out is an overexcited, “You were nervous?”

Great. Foot firmly in mouth. But at least Paxton’s expression has shifted from hunted to baffled. Progress.

His brows furrow. “Yes? Obviously? But that’s not the point—”

She bites her lip to stop herself from grinning—this is a serious conversation, Devi! Get ahold of yourself!—and grabs his hand. He cuts himself off mid-sentence, immediately giving her his full attention.

She shakes her head a bit belatedly and says, “Paxton, you have nothing to apologize for. I’m not mad.”

“I should’ve told you sooner,” he says, voice low. “It would’ve saved me from a lonely garbage picking day.”

“Maybe, but you told me now, and that’s what matters.” Paxton squeezes her hand, and Devi’s voice is breathy when she continues, “And I’ll be your garbage partner whenever you want.”

“You’re too good for me, Vishwakumar.” Paxton's smile spreads until he’s shooting her that trademark blinding grin, and Devi drops her chin towards her chest, fighting not to curl her shoulders in and shy away from him completely.

She can’t keep doing this. She has to tell him about the kiss in Malibu, about her and Ben and the failed breakup attempt.

But then Paxton’s holding her cheek oh-so gently as he guides her into a kiss, and she can’t bear to bring him down.

Tomorrow she’ll tell him.

Tomorrow she’ll end things with Ben.

“Right,” the girl said, nodding as if they were sharing a little secret. 

“No, I was literally in the hospital. Someone wrecked my car. It was awful. I panicked because-” The girl, oh, Kelsey, her name was Kelsey, she looked at Devi unphased and Devi gave up trying to explain. “Yeah, I’ll email you my notes from Monday.” 

“Thanks!” Kelsey kept walking with her to the parking lot and Devi tried to think of something kind to say. Anything. Just to make this less awkward. 

“Damn,” Kelsey let out, slow, like she was in a trance. “Who is that? I’ve never seen him around.” 

Devi looked up to see Paxton leaning on the hood of the Jeep waiting for her. She smiled and he smiled back. 

“Ma’am, I’ve been hanging out on campus this morning and I think I’m ready to state with finality, through my extensive, peer reviewed research, that you are the hottest woman at Princeton.” 

Kelsey put her hand on her chest like she might faint. Did she think he was talking to her?

“You saw the pool, your research is an incredibly small sample size,” Devi said, shaking her head and handing Paxton her book bag. “This feels a little like high school right now. I’m having some dejavu.” Paxton leaned down and kissed her on the lips. “High school was a good time for me. Especially when this girl I loved agreed to date me.” 

“I don’t remember it happening like that,” Devi countered, rolling her eyes. 

“Oh my god, that’s your boyfriend,” Kelsey exclaimed. 

Paxton didn’t miss a beat, he turned to Kelsey, smiled and waved. “Her husband, actually. I am married to the hottest woman at Princeton.” 

Devi felt her face warm but then Kelsey turned up her nose. 

“That’s so sad. You could do so much better,” she said before turning on her heel. 

Devi shook her head and reached for the door handle. She wanted to get in the car and leave and never come back to the class she shared with that bitch, Kelsey. But Paxton shouted after Kelsey. 

“Hey!” When Kelsey turned back to him he put on his fake smile and Devi worried what he was about to do. “What’s your name?”

“Me? I’m Kelsey,” she said, her voice had a flirty lilt that Devi didn’t care for. 

“Kelsey?” Paxton asked, fake smile still intact. 

“Yes?”

“Fuck off,” he said, his fake smile falling. He glared hard when she flipped him off and turned around to go. 

“How am I supposed to sit next to that girl in class now?” Devi asked, exasperated but grateful. “Move across the room?” Paxton offered before he shut her door. Devi appreciated the way he stood up for her but this also felt like high school, someone suggesting the two of them didn’t belong together. She didn’t like feeling less than because of some freshman but it did sting. 

When Paxton got into the Jeep he turned and kissed her. Deeper this time. One hand tangling in her hair, the other holding her cheek. His hand lingered on her chin as he pulled back. That felt a little like high school, too. “You’re beautiful and I love you and if anything, you’re getting hotter, while I definitely peaked in high school.”

She gave him a soft smile and felt her heart tug at the way he was looking at her. “You did not peak in high school.” “You won’t be saying that when I lose my hair.” He laughed and put the Jeep in drive. “Will you still love me when I lose my hair?”

Devi thought for a moment and then shook her head. “No, because I’m shallower than you are. But by then we’ll be staying together for the kids so I’ll be stuck.” 

Paxton laughed again, louder this time. “Oh good, I’m safe then.” 

—

As they headed to the airport security line, Devi turned to Paxton suddenly. “Did you remember to go to Sephora and get the travel size stuff?” She took her shoes off and put them in a bin as he lifted the one suitcase they were sharing for the trip onto the conveyor belt. 

“Yes,” he answered, taking his own shoes off. 

“Aw, your boyfriend went to Sephora for you?” one of the TSA agents asked Devi, hearts in her eyes. 

“He’s my husband and he went for himself. He’s the one with the seven step skincare routine,” Devi said, shaking her head. The agent, a middle aged woman with red hair, laughed. 

Paxton gestured for Devi to go ahead and walk through the metal detector then turned to the agent. “She only has a three step skincare routine. But she’s getting hotter with age. I’m only going to get worse so the least I can do is moisturize and use a couple serums, ya know?” 

Devi stepped into the scanner and lifted her arms. 

“Wait!” Paxton stopped them. “Is this safe for pregnant people?”

The red headed TSA agent looked at him like he was crazy. “Of course it is.”

“He’s just panicked because I was in a car accident a few weeks ago and we had a little scare with the baby so now he’s like this.” Devi gestured to him. He looked so anxious. “He’s overprotective to a fault.”

The agent looked at Paxton, then over at their bag going through the X-ray machine, then at Devi. She noticeably glanced at Devi’s barely showing belly (especially with the chunky sweater she was wearing) and then looked over Devi’s shoulder at Paxton. 

“Alright, but you, Mr. Skincare, have to walk through the scanner.” She tipped her head to direct Devi to walk through the other archway that was the less invasive metal detector. 

Paxton sighed, relieved, and eagerly walked through the scanner. Devi grabbed her shoes out of the bin on the other side of the machine and thanked the woman. 

“I’d say he’s a keeper but you look exasperated so you do whatever makes you happy, sweetie. Keep him, toss him, follow your bliss.” 

Devi laughed. “About an hour ago a college freshman said he could do better than me so thank you.”

“God, what do 18 year olds know? And did they not see you? You’re gorgeous, sweetie, he's right, you’re only getting better.” The woman was so sincere, Devi felt tears well in her eyes. “I remember with my second baby I always felt so ugly but I look back at pictures and I was beautiful, just didn’t feel it on account of feeling like I’d swallowed a basketball and oh my god, I had the worst acne! Worse during pregnancy than when I was a teenager! But you just forget that feeling. You’re making a person and that’s hard work. That freshman can take a long walk off a short pier.”

Devi felt tears fall down her cheek. She wiped quickly at her face to try and hide it but the agent smiled again. “You’re gonna be okay. Mr. Skincare, go get this woman some french fries before you get on that plane.” Paxton nodded as he finished putting his shoes back on. He took the suitcase and put his arm around Devi and guided her out. “It’s not pregnancy hormones,” Devi squeaked out, trying to get herself under control. 

“I know, you just cry a lot,” Paxton said. 

--

Thankfully, Devi wanted to catch up on The Bachelorette while they were in the air and Paxton was thrilled to do it. The chances of her crying during The Bachelorette were low. (But never zero so he was a little concerned it could still happen.) To Paxton, the second trimester was less puking and more outbursts of tears. Plus this very small pudge on Devi’s stomach. It was cute. And surreal. 

“Hurry up!” Trent shouted from across the terminal, waving his arms. “Your flight was delayed ten minutes in the air and now we’re gonna be late!” 

In general, Trent was not worried about being punctual to anything, ever, so Paxton knew something was up. When he got in the passenger seat of Trent’s car he barely had time to buckle his seatbelt before Trent was pulling out and speeding towards the airport exit. 

“What the hell, Trent?” Devi asked before even Paxton could. “It’s just dinner with Eleanor. She doesn’t care if we’re a few minutes late.” 

“Did she text you?” Trent looked back at Devi in the backseat before averting his eyes to the front so he could drive. “Is she already there?”

“I’ll text her right now but I swear she’s gonna be chill with us being late.” Devi threw Paxton a look and he nodded. 

Paxton waited for Trent to say something, anything to explain this behavior but it took a solid minute before Trent started talking. 

“I haven’t seen Eleanor in two weeks,” Trent blurted out, equal parts annoyed and concerned. 

“In two weeks?” Paxton and Devi both asked shocked. 

“Yes. Do you see why I’m trying to get there?”

“She’s alive. I texted her like, all yesterday. But she didn’t say that she hadn’t seen you in two weeks.” Devi looked worried now. 

“She missed Eggs and Edibles?” Paxton asked. “Twice?”

Eggs and Edibles was the name that Eleanor made up for her and Trent’s typical Sunday brunch hangout. It started back in high school when he would bring her a breakfast sandwich when she had rehearsal before the school play but they kept it up as their thing since then. Whether they were or weren’t dating. Everyone knew that Trent and Eleanor hung out on Sunday, midmorning. And got high. 

“Yes,” Trent muttered.

Paxton wanted to ask follow up questions but he couldn’t think of one that wouldn’t hurt Trent’s delicate feelings. (He was very sensitive. Always had been. He was the king of dishing it and not being able to take it.) 

Devi handled it though. “Did you piss her off? Or is she just seeing someone new?” “I hope I pissed her off,” Trent said, glancing at Paxton and shaking his head. 

When they made it to the restaurant, Eleanor was indeed inside already but she didn’t mind that they were late. She was having a brightly colored drink and laughing at...the dude sitting next to her at the table. “Hi!” Eleanor jumped up to hug Devi and Paxton and stopped right before Trent and sat down before even looking at him. “This is Todd.” She gestured to him like she was Vanna White. Todd offered his hand to shake. 

“Phew. Meeting the best friends,” Todd said, taking Paxton’s hand, then Devi’s. “That’s more important than the parents, right?” He reached out to Trent and Eleanor looked at him finally, demanding with her eyes that Trent behave and just shake the guy’s hand. Trent did so and Eleanor gave him a tight smile. 

“I think you can take it down a few notches, Todd,” Devi said, sitting down in the chair across from him while Paxton sat across from Eleanor. “This is a Chili’s.” 

Paxton stifled a laugh behind a cough and picked up the menu. Trent sat on the end of the table stiffly. 

“So, how are you feeling, Devi?” Eleanor asked and then turned to Todd. “She’s pregnant. She found out at Christmas and then Paxton went back to Jersey with her and they got married a couple weeks ago out of nowhere. I mean, it’s not out of nowhere, you two have been an off and on thing forever.” Eleanor finished her rambling and turned back to Devi to signal she could answer the question now but Todd laughed. 

“Man, I would be freaking the fuck out if I accidentally knocked somebody up.” He nodded at Paxton and Trent as if they should agree with him but Paxton bristled. 

“We’re happy about this, thanks,” he said.  

“Yeah, if they’d wanted to get her an abortion, they would have done that, like Eleanor got last year.” Trent said it so casually and then was looking around for the server. “I need a beer, stat,” he muttered. 

Todd looked at Eleanor surprised though. “You had an abortion?”

“Yeah,” she said with a shrug. She kicked Paxton under the table, hitting his shin. Paxton assumed she was aiming for Trent so he kept his yelp of pain as quiet as he could but he definitely made a face. Paxton cleared his throat and looked at Devi who was trying not to laugh. 

“I don’t believe in abortion,” Todd crowed proudly like a goddamn Republican pastor who believed in conversion therapy. 

Trent, Eleanor, Paxton, and Devi all stared at Todd in horrified shock. 

“You just said you’d be freaking the fuck out if you got someone accidentally pregnant,” Trent jumped in first. 

“I had a great reason to have an abortion, Todd, I didn’t want to be pregnant,” Eleanor said. 

“What the fuck, dude?” Paxton managed while he felt Devi quietly seethe next to him. 

“Hi, welcome to Chili’s, can I get you some drinks and apps to start?” their server, a girl in a sunshine yellow shirt with hoop earrings and a full face of makeup, interrupted. 

They gave their drink orders and by the time she left, the tension had dissipated mostly, but Devi was still tense next to him. He put his hand on her knee and squeezed, giving her a smile. 

“Did you find out if your role on the CSI reboot is gonna stay in the episode?” Devi asked Eleanor. He could see her jaw was tense but when Eleanor answered excitedly in the positive, Devi seemed to exhale. 

“Yes!” Eleanor shifted into her bubbly, vibrant self again. Buzzing with excitement. “I am going to be on TV next week as Dead Girl Number 1! Wanna see some pics from the set?” She was already pulling out her phone to show them. “Yeah, we wanna see pics from the set!” Devi said with more than necessary excitement, until Paxton noticed Todd rolled his eyes. 

“It’s not even a named character,” Todd threw to Trent…as if that wasn’t the worst possible thing he could do. 

Trent’s hands balled into fists and he took a breath, ready to defend Eleanor but Devi cut in, “Dead Girl Number 1 is huge!”

Todd snorted but Eleanor perked up. 

“Did your flashback scene make it in the episode, too?” she asked. 

Eleanor clasped her hands and smiled wide. “Obviously, there’s no way to know for sure until it airs, but one of the PAs said I had two scenes in so hopefully it’s the dead body reveal and the flashback. Dead Girl Number 2, a role I’ve played many times before, was completely cut. Not even a sheet pull back on her, poor thing. It’s rough out there.” 

“You were the best Dead Girl Number 2 in that episode of Law and Order . Totally hot.” Trent glared at Todd. 

The server came back with drinks and spinach dip and the conversation halted for a minute. Eleanor dipped her straw in and out of her water cup since she’d finished her bright drink from the bar. 

“Do you guys know if it’s a boy or a girl yet?” Eleanor asked.

“We could know,” Devi answered with a look at Paxton. He rolled his eyes. 

“I’m not saying we should wait until the baby is born, I’m just saying we should examine why knowing the baby’s gender assigned at birth is so important?” Paxton took a pull of the IPA he’d ordered and then waved at Trent. “Trent’s cousin, Arrow, is nonbinary, maybe that’s what our kid will be. Why should we limit things to pink and blue?”

Devi blew a raspberry at him. “I don’t even like pink or blue! I think yellow and green are bomb colors for a baby! And if you think me, of all people, would treat a girl or a boy differently based on nonsensical standards of performative gender, I continue to be offended by the assumption.” 

“Why not just wait a little longer? What does it hurt?”

Devi’s face softened and she turned back to the others. “This is actually because he wants a girl and doesn’t want to think he’s wrong. I think it’s a boy and all this talk of patriarchy and sexism in parenting is more about his 50/50 chance he’s wrong and I’m right.” 

Trent nodded, a knowing smile on his face. Todd’s face was screwed up in disgust. 

“Biology says otherwise,” Todd said as if he’d won the non existent argument. 

“What biology classes are-” Devi started but Eleanor cut her off. “Oh my god, shut up, you’re embarrassing me.” 

“You’re cute when you’re angry,” Todd said, leaning in to kiss her but she pulled back. Paxton saw Trent clench his fist like he was saying “yes!” to himself. 

“So you guys are going back to Jersey on Monday?” Eleanor pretended not to notice Todd’s irritation at being shut down. 

“Yeah, I’m not looking forward to going back to my intro to art class with Kelsey, the freshman who Paxton bullied earlier today.” Devi was trying to joke but Paxton knew she was hurt by what her younger classmate said. 

“Maybe she’ll drop the class out of embarrassment,” Paxton said.

“If my guy bullied some girl, she probably deserved it,” Trent said as though he too noticed Devi’s joke frosted unease. 

“She said I could do better,” Paxton explained. “Better than Devi? The girl I’ve been lowkey in love with since I was 16?”

“You’ve never been lowkey about it,” Eleanor laughed. “Devi’s boy crazy levels have always been off the chart though. She was ping ponging from one crush to the next back then.” 

“Was not!” Devi put a hand on her chest, over exaggerating.

“Sounds like you were kind of slutty,” Todd muttered but everyone at the table heard. 

Paxton felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. His skin was hot and he could have flipped the table they were all sitting at if Devi hadn’t acted quicker, knocking her water over so it spilled all over Todd. 

There was a time when she was younger when she would have punched poor Todd for his bad taste and rude comments. Her temper was barely restrained back then. So he marveled at how she’d learned to use her temper as a slick weapon, a sniper rifle, that could be silenced and she could claim ignorance. 

“I’m so sorry,” she deadpanned as Todd jumped up, water all over his lap. Eleanor stood up too, but she handed Todd the cloth napkin her silverware was wrapped in and the fork and spoon and steak knife clattered to the floor, causing Todd to jump again. 

“I think you should go home,” Eleanor said firmly. “And probably lose my number.” 

His face was dour as he wiped at his pants, as if that would dry the water all over him. “You’re a bitch.” 

Paxton stood up now, knowing he’d need to hold Trent back but before he could reach for him, Todd spoke again, “And a terrible actress.” 

And before Paxton could do anything, Trent was swinging. His first swing missed, Todd showed a shocking amount of awareness to duck as Trent swung and then pushed Trent back. People screamed and shouted and Paxton moved around Devi to try and break up the two men wrestling on the floor. He could make out Eleanor screaming Trent’s name. He couldn’t be sure, but he thought he heard Devi say to a bystander, “The guy had it coming.” 

—

Devi pushed open the door for Eleanor. The cool air of Sherman Oaks’ “winter” evaporated any sweat Devi felt on her face immediately. 

“I can’t believe I let that guy tie me up during sex, I could have been murdered!” Eleanor shouldn’t have said it so loud. 

They approached Paxton and Trent, Trent with an ice pack to his cheek and Paxton doing some little game with his feet and the curb. Devi and Eleanor stayed behind after Paxton broke up the fight to pay the bill and beg the Chili’s manager not to call the cops. The manager recognized Eleanor from a local car dealership ad and took pity on them when she explained how bad of a date the whole event turned into. 

“You let that guy tie you up?” Trent whined. “What the hell, E?”

“Look, it’s not that you’re supremely skilled or anything, it’s just that you know how to give me la petite mort!” 

“And other people have not been able to make you cum in French?”

Eleanor blushed and Devi knew she should be embarrassed to hear this conversation but she was enjoying it thoroughly. She loved drama when she wasn’t the center of it. 

“They tie me up and it usually gets the job done but-”

Devi saw Paxton cringe and then his eyes turned to hers, pleading to get out of the area but she shook her head. 

“But I get it done without any mildly kinky shit,” Trent said, lowering the ice pack and giving Eleanor what were definitely bedroom eyes. 

“Yes, but that’s just because we’ve been having sex for years. You were my first, for fuck’s sake. It’s not like…an accomplishment. It’s just something you know how to do!” Eleanor waved her arms big but Trent mirrored her movement so he could pull her arms down to her sides. He dropped the ice and held her hands, looking at her with what Devi knew for sure was love. He’d been looking at Eleanor like that since high school and at this moment she was a little jealous at how easy it was for them. They dated steadily through, no break ups. No back and forths like she and Paxton did in school. No ping ponging from crush to crush for Trent or Eleanor. 

So when he hears Devi’s comment, in rather uneven breaths mind you, a laugh is bubbling against his throat. She would retract her statement the second he tells her they are at Trent’s house, and his friend probably masturbated in every single room of the house. It’s going to make his plan seem genius. His fingers skim the outline of her dress and he edges his tongue into her mouth, knowing exactly what buttons to press in order to get her in the mood. Which was more often than not because she thought about sex probably more than any girl he knew.

“No, I want you. Right here. Right now.” The firmness in his answer only weakens her resolve and soon heat is radiating off her body. Screw the party.

“Why here? We could just wait till we get back to your house?” His lips nibble on her ear and she’s struggling to find a reason to turn him down, his erection rubbing against her core.

“Guess you’re just that irresistible. It’s really your fault if you think about. If you didn’t show up looking so hot, I could concentrate on beer pong or whatever Trent and Marcus are currently trying to blow up in the backyard.”

It’s been months and she still can’t get used to the compliments coming from him. His breath is hot on her neck and just as his tongue brushes against her parted lips, she pulls back, gently lifting his head up to meet hers as she attempts to catch her breath.

“What brought this on?” She’s never seen Paxton this agitated by something, or someone before. Or this handsy.

At previous parties, he flirted sure, but in the past few gatherings they attended, they were practically attached at the hip. If Paxton didn’t have an arm slung over her shoulder or kept their fingers intertwined as Trent praised Eleanor’s latest performance, he was whispering in her ear or placing a hand on her hip. Even Zoe Maytag gave her props in the bathroom and admitted they only ever got to hand stuff and he wasn’t into PDA when he was ‘hanging out’ with her. Devi decided to save this information as future ammo if she needed it.

“I’m sorry but if I have to see Ben fucking Gross look at you with sad puppy dog eyes while blatantly ignoring his own girlfriend one more time, I might just snap. I might just fucking loose it and deck him.” The words are bitter, sharp coming off his tongue and it sends shivers down Devi’s spine. His gaze hardened, eyes getting darker, and her stomach flips, because for a moment he looks like he’s considering murder. And she would help him hide a body without hesitation. He drags his lips to bite down on her neck and she involuntarily throws her head back as her tries to suppress her moans.

“So what’s this going to prove?”

“Well what we obviously already know...That you can’t help jumping me even in public.” He chuckles into her hair as she rolls her eyes. And she thought she was competitive. Paxton and Ben took it to a whole other level. “But seriously, don’t tell me you didn’t notice the guy flaunting his relationship in front of you. It’s like he got some sick joy out of rubbing your nose in his happiness. This is a taste of his own medicine.”

“Who even says he’s going to notice or care?”

“I do. If he attempts to seek out where you went, which he obviously will, what he chooses to do after will either prove me right or you right. That he does care or doesn’t.”

Devi raised an eyebrow, throwing him an are-you-kidding-me glance before Paxton’s lips descended down on hers again. If he wasn’t kissing her lips, he was trailing his tongue down her neck, her shoulders, even her chest bone.

"Excuse me for caring. This whole longing, woe-is-me act was fine or whatever when you were both single. But he’s fucking with my girlfriend, my relationship and I’m not going to pretend to be okay with it.” Once again, his mouth was rough against her ear as leaned against her body and ground his hips against hers. While she wanted to be mad, she also found his protective nature incredibly hot and wasn’t about to say anything to end it anytime soon.

“He’s with Aneesa. I doubt he even thinks about me in that way anymore.” Devi’s voice attempts to reassure him as her fingers comb through his hair.

“I can’t say that I blame him.” His lips start trailing kisses from neck ear all the way to her cleavage, knuckles lightly kneading her breasts through the fabric of the dress. “I mean not only are you insanely hot but you’re also like the smartest person in the whole school. I just wish he wasn’t so obvious about it.”

“Is this you being jealous?” She has a smirk playing on her lips, eyes lit up in a teasing nature.

“I-”

“I just never thought I’d see the day where Paxton Hall-Yoshida got jealous. You’re usually so calm and level-headed.” Her voice falters as he starts stroking her breast, the nipple hardening under his touch.

“What can I say? When I opened my mind to studying, I learned stuff inside and outside of the classroom. For starters, noticing things more often. Noticing Ben for one, the rude comments one minute and longing stares the next.”

“Can we stop talking about him now?” Paxton had dropped to his knees in record time, lifting up her dress and practically diving underneath it, his laugh vibrating against her core.

“You aren’t wearing any underwear.”

“It’s laundry day, didn’t I mention that earlier?”

“Must have slipped my mind. Remind me to thank your mom later.” His joke only registered for a minute before he was seeking out her clit, swirling his tongue around it, repeatedly pushing against her until her legs are convulsing and she’s coming undone around his lips.

Ben’s silhouette hovers, quietly staring at the scene before him in agape. He only sees Devi granted, but it’s not just seeing his ex at a party outside of school, it’s seeing her flat against the wall, eyes closed, shallow breaths becoming audible every few seconds and seeing the way her body physically shook from whatever Paxton was doing to her. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on. And Ben wanted to call out to them, sneer that this was a public place, someone’s house and if they couldn’t keep their genitals to themselves then they should just leave, but he was momentarily frozen.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Devi’s body begin to come down from its high, Paxton rises and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. To Ben’s horror, it doesn’t end there.

Is she giggling? Paxton just shakes his head and captures his lips with hers again.

He turns his head and meets Ben’s eyes. Devi’s lips begin to attack his neck and he moans, all the while locked in a staring contest with the captain of who knows how many fucking clubs.

This time it’s Paxton wearing a rather smug smile, something that he’s seen on Ben one too many times in History class. Well, this was his History class. One area where he would always outsmart Ben and that in itself was enough to fill him with pride. Finally Devi detaches herself from her boyfriend and gently wipes her makeup remnants off his neck.

“I should probably go reapply my lipstick.” She’s still trying to steady her legs and with a wave of nausea coming over him, Ben is reminded of a conversation that took place months ago. ‘Well tomorrow I won’t be able to walk again because I’m about to go get railed.’ And that she did.

“You don’t have to you know. You look sexy like this.”

“You may think so, but my mom? Not so much Romeo.” Devi’s playfully shoving against his chest as she untangles herself from his arms, the fingers still interlocked until the distance makes it impossible and she’s heading further down the hall towards the bathroom.

“Dude are you just gonna stand there?” Paxton fixes Ben with a hard stare, equal parts creeped out and a little high off his assumption because his point was proven. It was a win-win situation. Satisfy his girlfriend and wipe the stupid smirk off Ben Gross’ face.

After winning his swim meet, Paxton was on top of the world. The school day had been what it tended to be, light. Filled with class and hanging with his friends in the hotpocket. But that was hours ago. It was early evening when he saw her, Devi Vishwakumar, they had sort of become friends over recent weeks but given the up and down nature of their relationship, Paxton was always very aware of her. Devi had a way of grabbing Paxton’s attention. He was always trying to figure her out. Of course she made a hell of a first impression, first couple of impressions actually. Devi was sorely different from anyone else in his circle and Paxton wasn’t yet sure how he felt about the sudden invasion. He pretended he didn’t but after unintentionally watching her Paxton began to notice Devi’s change in mood sometimes. Like right now, from where Paxton was he saw the set of her shoulders. The tension was apparent as Devi stalked across the school grounds. Confusion flooded Paxton’s mind and before another thought could register, he was jogging towards her.

“ Hey, Vishwakumar, wait up! ” He called towards her but she didn’t stop

Devi cast a look over her shoulder, her voice was muffled when she spoke, “Uh, Hi Paxton, I can’t talk.” her voice cracks, “I’m in a bit of a rush.”

Paxton slows down for a second as he takes in the situation, Devi speeds up.

“Are you okay?”

Devi breaks into a dead sprint and Paxton doesn’t think, he just follows.

Devi was doing okay. Today was harder than most for a reason she couldn’t name but Devi was making it through. That was until last period art class. The teacher gave a simple assignment, and that was to paint your happiest memory. Immediately when the words left his mouth, a memory came flooding into Devi's mind like a tidal wave.

Devi was 8 when her father convinced her mother that going to a Californian beach as a family would be an adventure. Devi barely remembers the build-up, it was a haze of packing sandwiches and equipment. Leaving the house, only to discover something had been forgotten. A car ride that seemed to stretch into forever. But the beach was magnificent. At least it was in Devi’s memory. It was a gloomy day, the threat of rain looming, so the beach’s visitors were far and few in between. Devi remembers that feeling of warm sand under her feet. She remembers those first fragile steps into the tide, only to rush back as the ocean crashed forward chasing her back to shore. She could see her mom, in the distance, setting up their makeshift camp for the day. She was more content watching her family than participating. The ocean was vast and blue and terrifying. Devi could not urge herself to take more than a few steps. Devi doesn’t know how her dad saw her distress but it was like he could read her mind. He grabbed her and lifted her high then settled Devi on his shoulders. He insisted that she was safe there, she was too high for the ocean to ever reach. He held her hand as he walked slowly but confidently further into the waves. He stopped just as the water kissed her mid-calf but it was enough. From way up here, with her father by her side, the ocean wasn’t anything to fear, it was something to marvel at.

Devi had a firm picture in her mind of her happiest memory and it was her family’s adventure at the beach. But Devi couldn’t make a move to make this image a reality. Sadness crept up on her and got a vice grip on her heart. Her vision blurred and she couldn’t breathe. How had she ever breathed before? Was it always this hard? The bell rang, signaling the end of the day but Devi was on autopilot. Eleanor and Fabiola felt miles away, whenever they’d focus in the daze of her mind, the grip on her heart tightened and dragged her back to darkness. Devi doesn’t know if she said goodbye to her best friends,

She blinked, band began

She inhaled, band was over

She stood, the sun was setting

She gazed, the stress stiffened her movements as she walked around campus. Where was she headed?

Devi was desperate for light, for clarity.

“ Hey, Vishwakumar, wait up! ” The sudden noise broke the muddle, if only for now, she was again aware of the devastation and loss weighing on her mind and on her heart.

She recognized that voice and it was getting closer, she glanced over her shoulder. Paxton, no no no, she didn’t want anyone to see this least of all her newest and most popular friend, “Uh, Hi Paxton, I can’t talk.” Why was her voice cracking? “I’m in a bit of a rush.”

Devi finally knew where she wanted to go as she increased her speed.

“Are you okay?” Paxton’s question was the final straw, she couldn’t stop her tears and they fell uncontrollably past her cheeks. Paxton was going to catch up, and Devi was crumbling by the second. So Devi did the only thing she could. She ran, ignoring the echo of the beating steps behind her.

Nalini could hardly comprehend the scene playing in front of her. Devi, her only child, her entire world, looked so small folded up on the floor in front of her bed. Devi was always so strong, with a personality larger than life. She always seemed bigger than her stature, always taking up more space. Nalini's anger from the day deflates, leaving no trace it was ever there to begin with. Nalini tears her eyes away from the form of her daughter to take in the room. It was dark but the other figure inhabiting the room was clear as day. Paxton sat before Devi, his body language soft. He had one hand on the arms Devi wrapped around herself as he spoke to her gently. Paxton’s volume was soft as a whisper, any louder would shatter the delicate atmosphere. Witnessing this scene felt like a secret and the longer Nalini stood there the guiltier she felt. Devi never expressed emotions this deeply to her. Everyday problems with her friends or tests or Ben Gross, yes. But Devi never shared this.

Nalini's mind was going a million miles an hour as he crept back down the steps and began cooking dinner. She knew Devi would refuse but she needed to have something ready, just in case. When everything was mostly done, she was quiet as she moved around the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the meal. Nalini knew he was trying to walk silently but she still caught Paxton as he descended the steps. Nalini kept her back to him as she called, giving Paxton an out if he needed.

“Paxton?”

“Um...yes, Hi Mrs. Vishwakumar” at the acknowledgment, Nalini felt comfortable enough to turn around.

Paxton was standing in the doorway, shuffling in obvious discomfort. What he expected her to say she didn’t know. Gods, neither did Nalini. Questions flew through her mind faster than she could catch them. She didn’t want to ask him about what happened, Nalini wanted Devi to share when, if, she was ready. Nalini realized, amongst these questions, that she didn’t know Paxton. Here was this kid, late in the evening comforting her daughter. She couldn’t even be upset that they were home alone when she recalled how broken Devi looked. All Nalini had done thus far was judge Paxton, he looked like a jock so she thought him dumb. She made these assumptions about him, that he’d peak in high school or that he was shallow or that he was a walking STI, but they were just that. Assumptions. This kid stayed with her daughter for she didn’t even know how long, she’d been cooking for close to an hour so it was at least that.

All these guesses and judgments were useless when she stood in front of him. Paxton had a rigid set to his limbs, Nalini thought it was probably from sitting in one position for so long, and he was still dressed in gym clothes. Paxton looked new in Nalini’s eyes and she regretted never wanting to know him before now. Nalini didn’t know where to begin, she wondered if he’d eaten.

“Would you like something to eat?” Nalini's silent prayer must’ve been heard because he accepted. She was being given another chance. She quickly worked around the familiar space, grabbing one of the good containers and piling more food than necessary, successfully straining the unyielding plastic. She was handing the meal over when she paused, they both had a hand on the object between them but Nalini couldn’t let go, not yet.

“Thank you, Paxton, really, I don’t know what happened and I won’t ask but I saw what you did for Devi.” Paxton had the decency to look a little shocked. He hadn’t heard anything. Paxton was too absorbed before. His mind was a broken record repeating only, Devi.

The moment shatters when the front door opened, “I’m home!” Kamala’s voice fills the silent home. With the trance broken, Nalini’s hold on the container falters and she drops her hand allowing Paxton to leave. Words were failing him so all Paxton could give was a tightlipped smile in response.

“Thanks for the dinner.” Paxton’s smile was looser now and that gave Nalini courage.

Kamala was unloaded the day around her but Nalini was focused on making this right, “You’re welcome to come by Paxton, anytime.” She could only hope Paxton knew just how much she meant those words. His smile was burdened but bright, he nodded strongly and then he was out the door.

Kamala was fixing the table for a very late dinner when she called for Devi to join, Nalini hoped she would. “Who was that? And why was he here so late?” Pure curiosity laced Kamala’s voice.

“Paxton is one of Devi’s friends. He’s a good kid.”

Those details were all she could provide before Devi came bouncing down the steps. Nalini couldn’t be sure if it was the fact of what she saw or reality but Devi’s movements looked heavier than they normally were.

“What’s up guys?” Devi’s voice feigned casualness, “Dang mom, isn’t it late for a thousand-course meal?” She questioned as she took in the lack of clear surfaces on the dinner table.

Nalini just brushed it off, indicating for everyone to take a seat. “So how was everyone’s day?”