#datemates

Sunny and CD, being cute.

Art and CD by @addicted-to-the-fic

I recently started dating this guy, (I know, I can’t believe it either), and one of many things I love about him is how validating he is when it comes to my gender.

Some examples:

The day we met, I told him that I was nonbinary in the middle of him very obviously flirting with me. I expected him to freak out and back off, but instead he shrugged and said “Meh, my sexuality is fluid.”

I made it clear to him early on that I wasn’t comfortable with being referred to as “girl,” “lady,” etc. and he immediately started avoiding using gendered terms for me. On the rare occasions he slips up, he quickly corrects himself and apologizes to me, every single time.

Much like the above point, he’s been working super hard at getting my pronouns right, even though he’s admitted to me that the grammar of the singular they trips him up a lot. We had a conversation about it once, and he agreed that it made sense after I compared it to the way the pronoun “you” works and explained to him why I prefer it over newly invented singular third person pronouns.

He asks me questions. Any time he’s uncertain about ways he’s been addressing me or anything like that, he double checks to make sure I’m cool with it, or what I would prefer instead.

One of his really good friends is bigender and he’s chill about it, so I know he’s not being fake woke just to get into my pants.

The very first thing he asked me after we decided to make our relationship official was what he should call me, since he knew I wouldn’t be comfortable with the term “girlfriend.” We ended up settling on “datemate,” and he even said “But wait, we can’t be boyfriend and datemate, because they don’t go together like boyfriend and girlfriend do. We should both be datemates.”

I’m pretty sure I could write a novel-length essay about all the reasons I find him so surprising and wonderful, but I felt like the gender-related stuff deserved its own post.

The villain smiled, slow and sinister. “What? You thought that heroes were the only ones allowed a happily ever after? A spouse?” They caught the ‘hostage’ as he launched himself into the villain’s arms, the two of them sharing victorious grins. “You thought you were the only one with allies, didn’t you?” If it was possible, the ‘hostage’ -the villain’s husband- had a sharper smile than even the villain. “Don’t bother denying it, we all know its true. It never crossed your brainwashed little brain that they might have allies, let alone a husband.”“And didn’t my husband just make the cutest little hostage?”The hero looked away as the two shared a various kiss, mind still spinning from the revelation.

“B-but- I don’t understand. How did she- she’s just a journalist!”The villain’s new cellmate patted them on the back. “’Just a journalist’? Ouch man, sounds like you made the classic mistake. Tried kidnapping the heroine’s wife, huh?”““Yes! And she- she was just-”“Better than the heroine at escaping? Yeah, well I suppose she’s had a lot more practice-”“And then they came back together and the heroine stood back while her wife defeated me! A mere journalist beat me! How is this even possible?”Their cellmate patted their back again in an attempt to console. “It happens to the best of us, man. At least they won’t be able to surprise you with it next time.”

The hero had taken the villain’s wife in for ‘monitoring’. The villain had kidnapped the hero’s datemate in retaliation. The two nemeses were furious.The two hostages were just very, very tired of it all.““Have you two actually managed a date this month?”“This month? Hah! We haven’t managed one yet this year! I think their nemesis-ship is my real nemesis.”Tied to chairs, the two sat back and watched their partners fight it out.“You know,” mused the villain’s wife, “maybe we should work together to defeat their, how did you say, ‘nemesis-ship’. Actually manage a date with our SOs and stop them tearing the city apart in the process.”“I’m game,” agreed the hero’s datemate, wincing as their lover took a nasty blow to the face. “What do you have in mind?”

Y’all’re never gonna believe this O_O

My weird, asexual, touch adverse, never-dated-before-even-though-I’m-freaking-22yrs-old ass SOMEHOW just got asked out by not one, but Two very nice amazing people who wanted me to be a third in their polyam relationship O_O even after I told them I was asexual so sex was out and also touch adverse so I’m not the most cuddly person O_O