#dash rants

You ever upset someone and you don't know why or how and when you apologize or try to make it right it pisses them off even more and when you ask them why or how the thing you did upset them they say stuff like "you should already know why". And I'm just thinking in my head "if I knew I wouldn't have done the thing to piss you off!"

Like I'm one of those people whose entire day can be ruined if someone is mad at me because I don't like people being mad at me, especially if it's something I can control or fix or not do again.

because there's no reason why i shouldn't like you

because i've met people who interrupt me before

because i've met people who talk too much before

because i've met people who travel to a country and don't know the language before

and they're ... fine?

there's so many aspects that i don't like in people across the world that just happen to be compounded in you. i value my friends for being people who Listen to me [1], for being people who wouldn't cut me off when i'm trying to say something

i value natural curiosity. if you wonder something and need to know the answer, why should i be the force that stops you from asking a question?

and your job is anthropology, you're an ethnographer. you're supposed to be curious and invade ask about people's lives like this. your Job is a direct descendant of the people that take take take stories out of people's communities.

but knowledge is supposed to be shared! the job can't be all that bad right?

and it's not like boys are socialized to ask questions [2]

and i'm jealous. because i feel like i have a delay in getting to know people [3]. and you manage to make people like you because you make them talk about themselves. you're able to invite people to your birthday party in a country that you've spent six (6) weeks in because you know how to make people like you

and how could i do anything you do? i can't go to a country where i don't speak the language (guilt). i can't bring myself to care enough about new people to ask them questions about their lives. i can't do it because i get overwhelmed and i need my ipad enrichment time [4]

but lately others have been catching on. they shush you when you're speaking over the waiter. they finish their sentence when you ask a question. sometimes they don't even answer your question. they look at Me when i'm talking and i put my hand out to shush you every time you interrupt me.

maybe i'm just being misogynistic. because you're a girl who talks a lot. i'm not either. and why should you have to burden my hatred?

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[1] i almost had a falling out with a friend in high school bc they acted in a way that showed that they didn't listen to something i said. mind you this was in my (soft spoken) era. nobody could hear me say shit

[2] it's actually Impossible to receive gossip from a man. they never ask questions! follow me for more fun facts :)

[3] historically it takes me two (2) years to find Actual Friends whenever i switch schools / cities / places

[4] everyone should play hello kitty island adventure and stardew valley

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