#darkling writes

All of them failed, but it was the effort that counted. 

One of their favorite parts of logging into the server was the other player who they had come to consider their friend. Illuminaughty had approached them on their first day on the server and gifted them with a set of enchanted iron tools and armor, along with a few baked potatoes to get them started, and the two had been inseparable since. 

Virgil had built their base - which had started as a small cottage and slowly evolved into a large survival base with a storage cellar and overcrowded farms of animals for food supply - close enough that they could visit Illuminaughty whenever they were both online together. Luckily, whenever Virgil logged on, the other would either already be on, or would get on not too long after. It made Virgil feel a little less like they were annoying him for always hanging around. 

They had recently decided to join up their bases into one big castle, and had advanced from using strictly in-game text chat to making use of the server’s proximity chat mod, and Virgil was able to hear the voice of the boy they’d become friends with. 

They had stayed up late together, until both their voices were groggy with sleep, getting up early the next morning to get back on the server and continue work on their castle together. There would be times - sometimes up to an hour - where neither of them said a word, and yet Virgil never felt lonely, knowing that the other was there. 

It got to the point that when Virgil heard Illuminaughty’s voice, their stomach would do flips, anxiety and butterflies fighting together inside of them, and they had to hide the smile from their voice when greeting him. They missed not talking to him when they weren’t on the server together. 

One thing they hadn’t done, however, was see each other. Virgil didn’t know the other’s name, didn’t know how old he was - hell, they didn’t even know his pronouns, they were just assuming. Virgil didn’t know much about their friend apart from their time in-game together. 

And they desperately wanted to. 

“Hey,” they said while in game with Illuminaughty. Hearing a hum in response - even the slight noise coming from the other raising goosebumps on their arms - they continued. “What do you look like?” 

Gods, what kind of question was that? Now he was going to think Virgil was some kind of creep. What if he was a kid? Virgil had heard 17-year-olds - fuck, even 14-year-olds - who sounded like full-grown adults, so it wasn’t out of the question. 

Why did they have to lead with that question? They couldn’t have asked his pronouns, or age first? 

There was no hesitation on the other side, however, and that put their nerves to rest - at least a little bit, anyways. Illuminaughty snorted, and Virgil could just imagine him rolling his eyes. They were sure he did that a lot. He sounded like he did. 

“What, you wanna see me or something? Need something for the spank bank?” 

Face red, Virgil froze. 

“Sorry,” Illuminaughty chuckled. “I spent the day with my roommate. She tends to rub off on me, and not in the way she wishes.” 

She? Was Illuminaughty in a relationship? Was he straight? 

Wait, no. 

He said roommate, not girlfriend. 

Why did Virgil care, anyways?

“No, it’s-” Virgil tried so hard not to sound flustered or anxious. They hoped they succeeded, but they weren’t so sure. “It’s all good. I just realized I don’t know anything about you, and we’ve been hanging out almost every day for months.” 

In-game, the character that Illuminaughty was puppeting stopped moving, crouching on the top of a wall, five blocks above Virgil, and turned to look down at them. After a second, they heard him suck his teeth, and then he spoke. “Alright, how about this. We get on a video call, we can both see each other, and get to know each other. I don’t know shit about you either, and if I’m gonna share, it needs to be fair.”

Virgil thought for a second, crouching in game and looking down at the ground to show that, before un-crouching and looking back up to the other, moving their cursor up and down to nod. “Fair enough. Before we get on call, though, I gotta protect my ass; how old are you?”

“Over 18, younger than 30. Leave it at that for now. You?”

“Same here.”

Fair was fair. If Illuminaughty was going to be cryptic with his sharing, so was Virgil. 

They didn’t expect the chuckle in response, the low sound sending shivers up their spine. “Alright, I’m gonna disconnect, and call you on Discord.”

And before Virgil could respond, he logged out of Minecraft. They did the same, and moved to Discord, opening the app on their computer. While it was loading, they did a quick check around their room. Anything that would be in the frame was clean enough - no dirty clothes or trash piles in view. 

Virgil hadn’t gotten to cleaning their room yet this week, and shit was starting to build up. Lucky for them, they had showered this morning, so the few days of oil buildup on their hair was gone, and it was freshly fluffy. They had even put on eyeliner this morning, making somewhat of an attempt to take care of themself. 

Their therapist had said that if they want to feel better, a good place to start was to take care of themself and their house better. It was a lot of work, and it was hard, but they were trying. Some days were better than others.

Discord booted up, and within seconds, a box popped up saying that Illuminaughty was calling them. Panic fluttered in their chest, and they scrambled to look around, double-checking that everything was okay. 

They grabbed their headphones and plugged them in, flipping the switch on the cord to turn on the microphone, and joined the video call. 

“Holy shit,” they mumbled, not realizing the words had left their mouth. 

Illuminaughty was fucking hot. 

He had shaggy blond hair that looked obviously bleached, the roots overgrown and brown. There was a port wine stain on his cheek, and a black tattoo on the side of his neck that looked like the Illuminati triangle. A hickey peeked out from under the collar of his shirt - what looked like a dark pink-ish Henly-style shirt, with most of the buttons undone - and another tattoo accompanied it, though Virgil couldn’t make out what that one was. 

A smirk tugged at his lips, the piercings on his bottom lip shifting with the movement, and he chuckled, rolling his eyes. At least they were right on that part. He did roll his eyes. “You’re not so bad yourself, Spiderling.”

They were mortified to learn that they had actually said that, their cheeks flushing red all the way to the tips of their ears. Illuminaughty didn’t seem too phased, however. He brought a hand up into frame, resting his chin on his palm as he looked into the camera. Every single one of his fingers had a different style of ring on it. 

“So,” he teased. “Am I what you expected?”

No. Not even a little bit. 

Virgil shrugged, rolling his eyes. “Not really.”

“Ready to start the 20-questions, or do you need more time to drool?”

They sighed, laughing at themself. He was never going to let that go. They could already tell. 

They hardly even noticed that a majority of their anxiety from before the call had immediately vanished upon answering it and being with the other again. It was like he was a walking, talking Prozac. 

“What’s your name?” It was Illuminaughty who asked the first question, surprising them. 

“Wh– Virgil,” they answered, shocked. “Yours?”

As Izuku Midoriya gasped for air, the feeling of the sludge villain still tight in his throat, making it feel as though he couldn’t get in enough air to keep him from being lightheaded, he still knew that something was off. All Might, his hero, his idol, had captured the villain, but something didn’t seem right about the whole thing. 

He shook his head, shaking away the thoughts as he convinced himself that he just didn’t have enough oxygen to his brain to think properly. All Might had been doing heroic stuff for so long, he knew what he was doing by now. Besides, he couldn’t even put his finger on what was wrong, so he was probably just being overly paranoid because of what had happened. 

Izuku realized in an instant that he should talk to All Might. How often did one get the chance to talk to their idol, after all? This could be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and he couldn’t just let that go! Maybe he could get some advice from him about becoming a hero!

The young boy rushed after his hero, calling out his name. He managed to grab onto his clothes as he jumped into the air, the force of his jump propelling him into the air as though he had a flight quirk. If not for the wind that rushed into his lungs faster than he could expel it, Izuku might have tried to analyze his quirk even more than he already had. 

But none of that mattered right now. He just had to focus on holding on for dear life. 

When the hero noticed Izuku, after a brief argument in which he explained why he couldn’t just “let go”, he landed on the roof of a building and let out a breath. If Izuku didn’t know any better, he would think that steam was rising off of All Might’s body. 

“Hopefully someone will see you up here, and come get you down,” the older said, surprising the boy. Was he planning on just leaving him up here? “I’ve got to go, though.”

“Wait–!”

“I won’t wait!”

“Can I be a great hero like you?!” he blurted out, trying to get the question out in as few words as possible, to prevent All Might from leaving before he could get the advice he so craved. 

And his question caught the other’s attention. He froze, and turned around to look at Izuku, confusion apparent on his face. “Young man–”

Before All Might could continue his response, smoke began pouring off of his body. It blocked Izuku’s view of the hero, and when it cleared after a moment or two, in his place stood someone who looked… similar, but definitely not the same. His big heroic muscles were gone, his limbs scraggly instead. His hair was limp, and his spine was hunched forward, making him appear shorter and giving him mantis-like posture. 

It only took a split second for Izuku to realize what had happened. And when he did, his eyes lit up, and all thoughts of his previous question momentarily left his mind. “All Might?? Is this your secret identity?” 

The hero blinked in surprise. “I–”

“Do you have to flex in order to get big like that? How are you able to hold that form for so long? Is that why you don’t do big rescues anymore? What happens if you get distracted while fighting? Are you still strong when you’re not flexed?”

All Might let out a small sigh and sank down to sit down on the roof, his back to the ledge. He explained his whole situation, and Izuku listened patiently, committing all the information to memory to the best of his ability so he could add it to his journal after he went home. 

Once All Might was done explaining, Izuku just stood there in silence for a moment, not knowing how to respond to any of this. “A great hero, huh?” All Might chuckled out sardonically. “What were you saying about being a hero?”

Remembering why he was here to begin with, Izuku nodded. “I… I was just wondering if I could be a great hero like you someday.” 

“I wouldn’t say I’m so great, kid. But sure, if you put in the work, why not? What’s stopping you?”

“Really?” he asked, perking up. “Because my friend, Kacchan, says that since I’m quirkless, I–”

“You’re quirkless?” he interrupted with a shake of his head. “I’m sorry, young man, I had no idea.” The sigh that he let out had Izuku immediately deflating. “In this society, you need a quirk in order to get anywhere. Take it from me, if you don’t have a quirk, there is no chance of you being a hero.”

His words physically hurt. It felt as though he had been Texas Smashed in the heart, and he stood frozen for a moment, his mouth slightly open. His dreams shattered in that moment, and the reality that Bakugo and the others in his class had tried to force on him came crashing down around him. 

Izuku Midoriya was never going to be a hero. 

“I’m sorry, kid,” All Might said sincerely. He got to his feet, and took a deep breath, resting his hand on Izuku’s shoulder in comfort. Minutes ago, he would have been ecstatic, but now the touch felt like a cold mockery. “Now, I really do have to go. I would let you down on the ground, but I can’t risk anyone seeing me like… this.”

And with that, All Might left Izuku alone on the roof of the building to think things over. 

***

When Izuku finally got down, he was drawn immediately to the sound of chaos unfolding a couple blocks away. People had gathered, and from the sounds of things, there was another villain attack. They were usually pretty close together, but this was getting insane. 

As many people did, Izuku rushed towards the source of the commotion, wanting to see what was happening. And considering that people were running towards it, rather than away, it couldn’t be anything too dangerous. What he saw, however, shocked him into stillness. 

The sludge villain had escaped, and had captured someone else the same way Izuku had been. And it looked like they were still fighting! Still thrashing, kicking, and trying to get away. Whoever was in there was a lot stronger than Izuku was, that was for sure. After only a few seconds, he had felt like he was going to die, and from the looks of things, this person had been fighting for at least a minute. 

None of the heroes were trying to help, all of them just trying to do damage control. Stopping the fires that the victim’s quirk was causing in their panic. Ushering people as far away from the situation as they could. But with all his research, Izuku knew that none of them had a quirk, or any support items for that matter, that would be of any help here. The only one who could help was All Might. And because he’d had to help Izuku, he couldn’t bulk up. 

Izuku could have slapped himself. It was his fault the sludge villain had gotten loose again anyways! If he hadn’t grabbed ahold of All Might, having been so determined to get the approval that he didn’t even end up getting, that bottle wouldn’t have fallen out. 

The young boy looked around, trying to see if there was anyone who could help. Everyone was staring on in horror, eyes wide and hands covering mouths, but nobody made a move. This victim was going to die, and it was Izuku’s fault. 

At the back of the crowd, Izuku caught a glimpse of a familiar set of eyes. All Might stood there, watching everything in silence. And he wasn’t doing anything. 

If he wouldn’t save them, who would?

He looked back at the victim, and watched as their face surfaced for just a moment. It was only visible for a fraction of a second, but that was all Izuku needed to be able to recognize it. 

Katsuki Bakugou, his childhood friend, had been captured, terrified, and was silently pleading for help. And nobody was going to save him. 

In a moment of pure panic, Izuku rushed towards the sludge villain. Adrenaline coursing through his body, he threw his book bag at the villain. Logically, he should have known that it wouldn’t do anything, but maybe subconsciously, he was just hoping to be able to distract him for a second. His body moved of its own accord, despite his best judgment, as his fingers dug into the sludge villain’s body - if you could even call it a body. He scraped and dug at the sludge, trying desperately to free the boy he still called his friend. 

“What are you doing here?!” Bakugou shouted at him, anger hiding in his voice even with the fear staining his words. 

“I don’t know,” Izuku yelled in response. Tears had begun streaming down his cheeks, unbeknownst to him, and he doubled his efforts to try to free the other. His arms ached, and he didn’t seem to be making any progress, but he had to try. If nobody else would, he had to. 

After what felt like an eternity, but couldn’t have been more than a couple seconds, Izuku heard a familiar shout. With a cry of “Detroit Smash!” All Might, once more in his heroic form, smashed the villain, freeing Bakugou in an instant. 

Rain began pouring from the sky, as though All Might had been able to alter the weather itself with the force of his smash. The heroes began collecting the pieces of sludge villain that began falling back to the earth as rain, having been shot up into the air with the force of All Might’s attack. 

As they did so, Bakugou was praised by each one that passed near enough to talk to him. He was told over and over again that he was strong, that his quirk was amazing, that he would make a great sidekick once he went pro. 

And Izuku was frozen in place on the ground. The wind from All Might’s smash had knocked him over, and he had been unable to get up, too lost in thought. Why had he come to the rescue? What had taken him so long? He must have gotten there before Izuku had, having gotten down from the rooftop first. And he’d just… what? Stood there? Watched an innocent kid be attacked by a villain and not wanted to interfere for his own public reputation as this big buff hero?

From the way he had described his flexed form, he didn’t need to be in that form in order to use his quirk. And he didn’t have to limit how long he used his quirk. He just had to limit how long he was in his other form. 

So, why hadn’t All Might helped until it was almost too late?

Izuku was jolted from his thoughts when Bakugou approached him. He stood over Izuku, looking down at him with his hands in his pockets and brows pulled together, mouth screwed up. Izuku scrambled to his feet, and before he was even fully standing, Bakugou spoke. 

“I didn’t ask anyone to rescue me,” he grumbled. “Let alone you. Actually, you didn’t even do anything. I saved myself in there, and all you did was make yourself look like even more of a deku than normal. Got it?” Izuku nodded, not wanting to argue with the other. He had been through enough today. “Good. Don’t go telling anyone that you helped me. I won’t have anyone thinking I need a stupid deku’s help.” 

He walked past Izuku then, his shoulder slamming into him and nearly knocking him over again. Izuku looked after him, still processing. He was right, if Izuku thought about it. He hadn’t helped at all. What he had done hadn’t even held the villain off while they waited for a hero. All he had done was look desperate. And yeah, sometimes all that mattered was the thought, but what good was that if he couldn’t help? 

Maybe it was time for Izuku to stop trying to help people. At least in the way he had dreamed of for so long. All Might and Bakugou were right. He could never be a hero without a quirk. But at least he was figuring this out now, when he still had time to focus on a future that he could actually attain. 

As the young boy turned to begin his walk home, he was startled by All Might rushing into his field of view with a cry of “I am here!” The hero, still in his bigger form, stopped in front of Izuku, with his heroic proclamation. Luckily, Izuku had managed to begin his walk home, because before a single word came out of All Might’s mouth, he coughed, blood spurting from his lips, as he lost his bigger form, returning instead to his “normal” state. 

“I’m glad I caught you, kid. I wanted to talk to you,” he grumbled as he wiped blood from his lips. All pretenses of heroics gone the second he was out of the other form. 

As soon as he saw the so-called hero, Izuku was filled with a fury that he couldn’t fully explain. This man had come into his life, crushed his dreams, and risked his best friend’s life to save his reputation. And Izuku just wanted to be as far away from him as possible right now. He just wanted to go home. 

“I won’t tell anyone your secret, don’t worry,” he murmured, assuming that that was the reason All Might wanted to talk to him. He tried to turn back around to resume his walk home, and All Might grabbed his shoulder. 

“No, no. Well, I mean, thank you. I do need to keep that a secret. But I wanted to talk to you about what you did out there. It was–”

“What I did out there?” Izuku scoffed, interrupting him. Earlier that day, he would have surprised himself. But now, he didn’t even think twice. “All I did was what you wouldn’t. He could have died out there, and you were just… you were just standing there! He could have died, and you were too worried about not letting people see you like this.”

“Now, young man,” All Might stuttered out, shock apparent on his face.