so far away....
where are you? where were you?
For many reasons I took a break from Kendo in January, I cut back my training a lot, left a dojo to other leadership, redefined my relationship with Kendo in my life. I was training and maintaining myself for my GoDan test, which was supposed to be in April. Long since passed, cancelled. The world I live in, doesn’t look like its going to come back to functioning anytime soon. This have given me time to heal from my persistent injuries. I’m sure they are still lingering, joint damage doesn’t go away -- ever, it just calms down a bit. I’ve gotten out of shape, no gym to lift weights -- I think I will probably start training in Isometrics and get back into a functioning mindset. Its been very difficult. Family has been lost, friends have been sick. The virus is all too near in our environment and it feels like a breeze may just kill me one day...leaving a widow, and my children fatherless, So where do we go now? Where does the path lead?
When the future planning, that once held years....is now down to a matter of days.
Yes you cannot predict life -- ever. But future planning requires the ability for the future to exist. Right now everything looks like it will be closed down, with no end in sight. I’m not sure people fully grasp what it is like to live in America right now. Its a daily terror.
30 Million out of work, Millions Sick, Hundreds of Thousands dead...virus infections climbing through the sky, Hospitals filling up, Morgues filled, bodies filling ice trucks...and our government doesn't give a fuck.
We are on the brink of a massive civil unrest. MASSIVE. There are more and more citizens everyday, with less and less to live for. No Job, No home, No food, no healthcare, and they are watching Billionaires walk away with all of the “help”.....Humans are very dangerous when they are scared, hungry and sick. If our government doesn’t get their shit together...QUICKLY. I fear for our nation, the unrest is deep rooted and wide spread.
Far beyond anything that has happened before. I hope I am wrong, but everything I’ve predicted since reading about Wuhan in October has pretty much come to pass....so here we are....entering “America’s dark depression” the vast Economic Depression, infused with the death of millions of citizens. It will take decades to climb out.....
How do I protect my family? How do I continue to fight for justice, the good, the honorable -- when the government lacks all ethics and morals to protect our citizens. I try to think back to my mental training in Kendo, to be aware of fear, surprise and doubt.....but fuck it is hard to control in the long term. I have my family, I have my home, I have my health, I have my job....For now. Is anyone out there?
