#dark!fic

DIVIDERS: @ firefly-graphics

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Your back arches as you feel the stinging warmth of the hot tongue lapping at your folds; toes curling as you sigh. Fingers combing through his messy blonds, tightening around the roots instinctively as he moves up to kiss your clit.

He rolls his tongue around and sucks on it, causing you to whimper out a cry. The pressure of everything, too much for your body to handle. He lowers down and continues to push his tongue into your wet cunt. You bite on to your lips so hard you wonder if it’ll break the skin; although you’re convinced it did the second you felt his lips on yours.

You feel yourself clench around his tongue, eyes widening as you relive the memory. The alcohol in your system further fueling the desperation as you push your hips into him.

But it doesn’t help you forget where you are; the low lighting and the wooden ceiling a stark contrast from the white walls you’re used to.

The sharp ends of your nails run through his head to the nape of his neck. He pushes his face further into you as he groans; eliciting one of your own. His fingers tighten around your thighs almost as if he can sense your release before you, and with a final roll of his tongue you feel yourself cum hard around him; your head bucking into the pillow as you hear your heart beat in your ears.

You close your eyes as you lay on the messily laid sheet, exhaustion running through every inch of your muscles. You can hear his deep sigh as he rests his head on your lower half. His fingers run over your outer thigh with his cheek pressed on to your stomach, head moving up and down to the pattern of your breathing.

His touch on you reignites the fire, exhaustion no longer wearing you down. You bend your neck downward and kiss him, almost in an attempt to quell your anger; it doesn’t help, but it does entice him further.

He pushes himself up with his knees as he kisses you, tongue moving with yours as he presses his nose to your face. He parts away, chest rising and falling as his eyes run over your face; their gaze just as drunk as yours. It’s funny; here you are kneeling on the bed, naked in front of him and yet he can’t seem to take his eyes off of your face.

He spins you around, fingers kneading into your hips as he positions himself behind you. Your extended arm helps you balance yourself as he easily pushes himself into you. Mouth parting as you relish the slight wince of his cock inside you. You hear him grunt as he tries to push himself deeper into you. One of his hands move to press on top of your stomach as he starts thrusting into you slowly, but at a steady pace.

You feel the pleasure of him inside you as his fingers dig in from behind. The flesh of your soft skin caving in from his rings; three of them adorned on his fingers as the steel metal of it shines. Steel— not, gold.

He pushes you up with his other hand, pressing your back to his chest. Spreading your thigh apart as he continues to thrust, fingers wrapping themselves around your neck.

You feel it graze against your back as he pushes into you, the light scratch of it almost a reminder. You feel a knot form inside you again, his breathing now heavier. He presses your body against his as his hand around your neck slightly tightens. The tightly stretched cord breaks again; you cum again, tightening around him as he moans into your ear, cumming along with you.

You lean back on to him, the heat of your bodies and the silence in the air feels like an arrow through the heart. It’s not nearly as sharp as an arrow but you feel it slice through you nonetheless, pressed in between your bodies, cutting into your skin—his finely cut shark tooth necklace.

You slip your feet into your tennis shoes as you sit on the edge of the bed. You can still hear the faint music of the party outside, feet thumping to the beat of the tune. You close your eyes and stretch your hands; fingers intertwined above your head. 

You weren’t oblivious to the weight of the gaze boring into your back; you just wanted a moment to yourself. You turn your head around with a small smile on your lips, just as he averts his gaze in an attempt to not get caught.

His eyes slowly drift towards yours as he tries to return the smile, but he’s not very good at pretending; it barely moves past his nose.

You briefly wonder if you’re less desirable now that he’s had you, but the look in his eyes says otherwise. They aren’t bored; there’s the regular hint of curiosity that you often receive, now mixed with a layer of… confusion.

You don’t blame him; you feel the same way.

“I should leave,” you say, eyes lowering back to the ground. You feel an unfamiliar sense of shyness creep over you as you try to hide yourself from his gaze.

He returns the awkwardness with a small nod as he stammers a “…uh ye- yeah”, you feel your heart ease at it and the sudden discomfort fizzles away.

You sneak a final look at JJ— his cheeks flushed with the sheets wrapped around his lap as he toys with his ring— and head out in search of the blonde girl, who you’d accompanied. Making your way around in search of her in a house filled with drunk bodies dancing around lazily as they continue to drink their fill of the cheap beer.

You spot her; her arms wrapped around John B as she dances to the rhythm of the music, a drunk smile plastered on her lips as she looks at him. Her smile widens and she sings a “heyyyy,” as she sees you approach her. You receive a curious look from John B as he untangles himself from her.

Clearing his throat as he greets you, unaware that you were here at all. You smile back a reply as pull at Sarah; you still hadn’t got used to being around her new friends; especially when you know how he feels about it.

She seemed upset to leave her company but when you remind her that her dad had given her a curfew, it doesn’t take much convincing to get her to leave with you.

You somehow manage to get her into your jeep with a little help from her boyfriend. The love birds taking their own sweet time in saying goodbyes. You look away as she giggles and harshly pulls him towards her for a kiss.

Her behaviour reminds you of the other blond of the house hold. Fingers griping on the wheel as you feel a complicated mixture of anger and sadness weigh your heart down. The Camerons just seem to have possessiveness flowing through their veins— You scoff at yourself at that– selfishness would be a better term; it clearly runs in the family…

You close your eyes for a second and sigh as you remind yourself that you’re no better; not after today.

You can hear Sarah mumble drowsily as you drive through the cold night. Eyes glued on to the road but your mind seems to drift far away; unable to really focus on anything.

You turn your neck to the side to look at her. Her hair dances along with the wind as she leans towards the open window. You remember being so deeply disappointed in her for what she had done to Topper. You’d really though that he was the one for her, but then again, you also thought that you’d be the one for him.

You don’t know why you didn’t expect it; Topper wasn’t the first boyfriend she’d cheated on, if anything she has had a pattern of this behaviour and as for Rafe… you were his first, it’s almost ridiculous to presume that he’d only want you forever.

And yet you’d hoped he would…

You had turned a blind eye to all his behaviour, convinced that things would just change with time, and what had that caused other than pain and resentment?

You’d deeply despised him for what he did to you, at the callousness of their behaviour, for how he had hurt you; and yet somehow, you’ve turned into them. Turned into something you never wanted to be and you hate him so much more for it. You want to blame it on the alcohol, but deep down you know that wasn’t true. You just wanted to get back at him this time, it’s just that you had chosen the worst way to do it.

You turn off the engine and hop out of the vehicle. There weren’t any lights inside the house, if you were discreet enough then maybe Sarah’s parents would not find out how drunk she’d got. You hold on to her, throwing one of her hands over your shoulders as you slowly take her inside.

Her drunk rambling continues on as you try your best to keep her quiet. You shush her with soft whisper, the grip on her hand tightening as she misplaces her first step.

Your body felt heavy; not just with the weight of the drinks that you’d poured into you, but with an intense feeling of being watched… even with your intuition you find it surprising to find out that as a matter of fact, you were being watched.

Perched on the top floor with his elbows leaning against the railing stood your boyfriend; smirking down at you. His blond hair, messy and eyes half sleep ridden with only his tracks on.

You feel that heaviness rise up you to your throat, turning your attentions back to his sister, mostly because you couldn’t bear to look at him.

You slowly climb on each step of the curved staircase as you make your way up. He doesn’t really bother to come help you with her; content with letting her trip if she may. You hear him scoff when her feet slips a bit and your eyes dart towards him as she flips him off. He’s unbothered by her, but there’s this softness in his eyes as he looks at you, lips pouting with a mischievous smile.

You take Sarah into her room and she falls on to her bed. Covering her with a blanket as she smiles and blows you kisses. Your feet linger near the bed as you wish her good night, dreading at the thought of having to talk to the boy waiting outside; you really wished he’d have fallen asleep.

His hands are on you just as you pull the door shut behind you. Pressing his body to your chest as he pushes you onto the door. Hands running over your back, they move down and massage your hips, nose grazing against yours as he bites his lips.

“Naughty, naughty girl, aren’t you? sneaking into my house this late at night.”

His lips move to grab yours, but you tilt your head to the side as you try to push him away.

His brows frown and you try to come up with something just to get him to stop looking at you. “I probably reek of alcohol,” you admit, as you look away.

He rolls his eyes at you, “Yeah, because I hate alcohol,” he jabs as he leans closer again. Tongue licking a stirp over your neck and leaving open mouth kisses as he presses his hips to yours. You dig your nails into your palm as you try your best to not squirm at his touch. Nose flaring at the feel of him hard against your thigh.

You push your palms against his chest again, “I need to go home. I’m tired, Rafe.”

He moves his hips back with a sigh as he backs away, but his hands still refuse to leave you. “I know, me too,” he chuckles, eyes darting down as he continues, “don’t mind him, he’s just needy and desperate when you’re around.”

He finally takes a step back, raising his hands up in the air, “I’ll behave, I promise. We can just cuddle and sleep.”

Your desperation to leave the house gnaws at you as you try to come up with an excuse, “I stink, I need to shower.”

He chuckles again, head tilting to the side as his hands gesture in a, what? attitude, which then turns slightly serious as he goes, “I do have a shower here Y/N,” lips smirking again, “can help you take one too.”

He comes closer again but you curve and move away, “Seriously, I need to go home, my parents will expect me. I haven’t told them I’ll be staying over.”

He turns around disappointed as he clicks his tongue, “Can’t you just text them?”

“No, ok; I need to go home. I don’t want them to get mad or anything.”

“Fineee,” he drawls, disappointment laced in his tone as he finally agrees. He brings a hand up to his hip as he leans the other shoulder to his door, upset at you leaving but still clearly sleepy enough to just want to go back to bed.

You turn around to look back at him again and then make your way down the stairs. You climb back into your jeep and drive home. His face; the only thing on your mind the entire ride.

You park the vehicle into the garage and twist the key to turn the engine off. The dim moonlight swallowing up the entire space. How could he have done this to you? Why did you do this to him? Why are the two of you continuing on with this horrible game? You feel all these awful emotions brimming up, now shadowed by a sudden sense of shame.

You burst into tears within seconds, chest heaving as the sobs get stuck in your throat. You haven’t cried like this in a while; even when you found out about his trysts, you only felt a sad dismissive attitude towards it. But now all of it seems to be catching up to you. So, you cry your heart out, body shaking, head buried in your palms, alone in the basement of your house.

The days that came were filled with a low-lying dread as you try to keep your distance from Rafe Cameron. Him helping his dad out a bit lately definitely helped the situation, but you knew this couldn’t go on for much longer. You were basically living every moment in dread of facing your own boyfriend, it made you feel even more pathetic. You were going to have to find a way to break it to him.

You slice up thin pieces of lemon and place it onto the glasses filled with a concoction of sparkly colourful drinks. The blues, greens, reds and purples shine; their reflection dancing on to the glass cone as the warm sunlight hits them. Carefully arranging them along with the snacks on the table; away from the poolside and blabbering teenagers. Someone splashes water all around as they cannonball into the pool.

The place gets livelier as more people trickle in, the decorations were simple enough and everyone seem to be enjoying themselves; you can only hope that Sarah likes the music you’ve picked.

You feel fingers run through your waist and a light peck on your cheek as he comes up from behind. A wink towards you as he picks up one of the drinks. You honestly hadn’t expected to find him here; with the way he had been busy the last two weeks. You find yourself equally unprepared to talk to him.

“Hey, hottie,” he runs his tongue over his lips as his eyes scan you, “that’s a pretty slutty bikini you got going on,” he smirks.

“It’s a regular bikini, Rafe,” you huff, unsure what else to say to him. You know it’s cowardly but you don’t know how to react to him, all you want to do is find a way to escape from his presence.

“I like it. The white flowers go with the pink,” he admits, “can’t wait to get you out of those,” he moves closer and you try not to squirm away at his touch.

“Want you under me, messy and moaning,” he whispers as his palm squeezes your ass.

“Geez Rafe we’re in public.”

“Hey! A guy's allowed to miss his girlfriend. Haven’t fucking touched you in days, couldn’t even say a word to you properly,” he says in defiance; extending his arms as he looks at you.

“Been a little busy, was helping out Sarah with… all of this,” you say pointing around. It wasn’t really a lie, except for the fact that you had insisted on helping her out just to avoid him.

“You always end up spending more time with her than me.”

“That’s not true,” you interject.

“Yes, it is! seriously any more, and people are gonna think you're Sarah’s girlfriend instead of mine.”

“Well, your dad’s probably more than happy that I’m not around to distract you from your responsibilities.”

He squints his eyes with a bullshit attitude on his face as he dismisses you.

“I’m sure Ward’s happy that you’re stepping up," you mumble.

“Doubt it.” He shrugs. “Look at this, I’m the one doing all the hard work yet Sarah’s the one who gets to have a pool party,” he complains.

His eyes suddenly shift its attention to something behind you, raising his head as his face slightly hardens. His nose flares as he gulps the rest of the drink and places the glass down.

Intertwining your fingers together he pulls you into the house. You try to pull your hand away but his grip on you is tight enough for you to feel displeased as your body moves with his strength.

He only stops short when he sees his sister descend the stairs and walks towards you. Her annoyance increasing as her gaze shifts to his hold on you.

“Do you have to behave like you want to eat her alive every time you’re around her? Go away, dude; let her enjoy the party.”

He lets go of your arm; hand extended on the railing as he blocks her path. He stares at her with heightened anger as she returns the look with annoyance.

“Why do you think you get to invite these filthy Pogues?”

“They’re my friends Rafe, and it’s my party I get to invite whoever I want.”

“Well, I don’t like the way that good for nothing Maybank over there is looking at my girl.” He sneers at her.

You feel your shoulders stiffen as you hear his name, tilting your head unsuspiciously to look around. You don’t know why you didn’t expect him to be here; Sarah had invited all her friends after all. Why should he be an exception? and yet for some reason you’re surprised to find the beach blond gazing back at your direction; his eyes slightly frowning at the raised voices of the Cameron sibling beside you and with the way Rafe keeps directing his fingers towards her Pogue friends.

“Well, your girlfriend is pretty,” she replies, crossing her hands in front of her, “boys tend to look at pretty girls, Rafe. It’s something we struggle with.”

“He’s making her uncomfortable.”

“Let me hear her say that, then I’ll talk to him about it,” she retorts back, eyes turning to you now, “is he making you uncomfortable?”

“I… n- no. Rafe come on, let it go. I didn’t even notice him,” you mutter back, caught off guard as both of them turn their head towards you.

That, you realize was the wrong thing to say, as you receive as scathing look from the older Cameron. He clicks his jaw and laughs but there’s no humour in it.

“I suppose you do like the attention.”

His words sting you, and you say nothing further, hard eyes boring into you as he steps away. Sarah loops her hand around yours as she pulls you along with her, telling you not to mind Rafe’s words and yet they are all you could seem to focus your attention on to.

You smile and greet people for niceties but your mind is still all over the place. You can’t keep going on like this. The evening sun dips away, and the harsher party lights are turned on, the crowd growing louder along with the number of drunken bodies.

You feel the alcohol ooze its effect onto your system, a light buzz in your head as your body tingles. You don’t know what to think about anymore, just wanting to let your mind be at ease, you find yourself searching for your boyfriend.

Maybe it’ll be different from now on, telling him would just make things worse. You could just start afresh. The incessant need your mind had to stay away from him slowly fading away as you feel a growing desire to just hold him.

You weren’t going to just throw away everything you had because of a stupid drunk mistake. You feel the dread in your heart become lighter as you continue to look around for him. You were going to find a way to fix things, all you have to do is just let the love of it all come back to you. Heart allowing you to forgive yourself and him, that is until you saw him… with her.

A shy smile placed upon her face as she looks up at him and laughs at something he says. He casually leans on to the wall nearby, a drink in his hand as the two of them talk. Smile plastered upon their lips as the lights reflects off of the blue water in the pool nearby, almost making it seem like they were enclosed in a bubble of their own…

…And all you see is red, heart sinking into the pit of your stomach. A tumultuous mix of sadness, anger and resentment all bubbling up. You feel your breathing go erratic as you make your way upstairs to his room. Pressing your palms on to your head as you try to make sense of what you’re feeling. Suddenly feeling very sober and yet so very confused.

You grit your teeth together and you feel the tip of your fingers tingle in pain, body shaking with anger. You don’t think twice before throwing out whatever you can get your hands on, books, watch, his clothes, the sheets. It isn’t until you feel the exhaustion of the disarray hit you that you realize you’ve been crying. Cheeks wet and lips quivering.

You sit down onto the bed with a sigh, eyes closed and lips trembling, fingers digging into your temple as you try to lower the noise inside your head. You don’t really register the sound of footsteps coming in, body jerking at the voice that reaches you ears.

“What the fuc-

His voice; annoyed and confused as he looks around, words stopping short when he sees you. He slowly walks forwards, crouching in front of you, gaze soft as he whispers.

“Hey, what's wrong?” He moves his hand to lightly lift your chin up, you fidget away at that; eyes tearing up again.

“Don’t,” you hiccup.

“What is it? I don’t- he lets out a frustrated sigh as he looks around the place again.

“Why don’t you love me?” you question, surprised by your forwardness, but you don’t think you have it in you to keep avoiding this confrontation.

His eyes snap towards you at that, brows frowning as he registers your words, licking his lips as he tries to find his words.

“Have you ever loved me? Do you even like me at all?”

“Where is all of this coming from!?” his thumb runs over your thigh as he presses forward, “I swear if Sarah is spewing bullshit into your ears, I’ll—

“I know Rafe. I know,” you lick your lips, wiping your cheek with your palm as you finally get the courage to look at him.

“And no, it wasn’t Sarah, it wasn’t even Topper or Kelce for all their blabbering. I saw you. I saw you fucking her in the back of your truck.”

Neither of you say anything as the seconds pass by, he stands up abruptly, fingers pressing to the bridge of his nose as they move to rub his eyes, and just when you think that he would at least try to be apologetic, his words come out as nothing more than shallow and conceited.

“I was drunk, ok? She was rubbing herself up all over me.”

His words infuriate you, mind reeling as you stand up. His figure towers over you and yet you don’t cower. Intended to give him a piece of your mind.

“That’s your excuse!” you scream at him, anger and disgust clouding you.

“It’s not an excuse, I just— it just happened. Things were a mess, I was really stressed and— when was the last time we even had sex, huh?" His voice, a rambling mess, “all you do is prance around with Sarah anyway, you haven’t even spent some time with me in weeks.”

You stare at him, trying to process his excuses. Barely able to register his words, eyes attached to the way his lips move, the way his fingers twitch as he continuously blink.

You simply sigh, a foreboding sense of finality crushing you in its grasp. You don't know why you thought you could fix things. How could you possibly? When he refuses to even acknowledge his mistake, let alone accept it.

“You don’t care, do you? You don’t even regret it.”

“That’s not true. It doesn’t even mean anything, she means nothing. She’s just some slut that kept begging for it.” He tries to hold onto your hand again but you swat him away, “I only love you. You’re all that matters to me.”

You scoff at that; his words feel like sweet venom that fills your body to the brim.

“This isn’t even the first time Rafe, I know about the girls you’ve been flirting with, hooking up with. You don’t think I hear those idiots talk; I swear Rafe your friends are the worst at keeping secrets.”

“Secrets? What secrets!? There are no fucking secrets, Y/N. This was the only time. You’re listening to those fucking dimwits? All they do is spew bullshit half of the time.”

He moves around, hands widening, his tone exasperated as he leans back against the wall. You mirror his stance, tired and sad wanting all this to just be over with. You feel your throat go dry but your heart feels steady as you feel brave and decide to just be honest with him.

“You don’t regret what you did Rafe, but I do. I’m sorry, I really am, I’ve become just like you and I hate it.”

You laugh at your circumstance, maybe you deserved this.

“I’ve just been a selfish hypocrite."

“The fuck are you talking about?” He questions.

You stay quiet and he looks at you with knowing anger, huffing through his nose as he grunts and hits the wall. You flinch at his behaviour; instinctively taking a step forward to look at his knuckles that you are sure will bruise soon.

“Alright, alright I get it. You got the right to lash out,” he laughs and there’s no humor in his eyes.

“Which one of your little country club boys did you fuck to get back at me?”

You simply look at him shaking your head, unsure what to say. You really didn’t want to get into the specifics of it. It’s almost like a part of you knew the calamity that would ensue if he found out and yet you didn’t want to lie.

He nods his head as he moves towards you, “Come on, I promise, I won’t break his nose or anything.”

“Who was it Y/N?” His voice slightly harsher and on the edge this time.

“It wasn’t- It wasn’t anyone from our side of the island.”

“You fucked a Pogue?” His voice is harsh as he looks at you, “Wow, can’t believe you lowered yourself down like that just to get back at me.”

“That’s what your angry about? You fucked a Pogue! The girl you fucked is a Pogue, Rafe!” you scream, annoyed at how that was what he wanted to latch onto.

“Yeah well, at least she’s a hard worker, ok. She has the decency to at least try to be worthy of our class.”

“I’m sorry, are you justifying fucking her?”

“Who was it, huh?” he hisses, fingers pointing at you, “which filthy Pogue did you fuck?”

You don’t reply and it only entices him further.

“Who was it Y/N?”

“Don’t.” His hand slaps onto the table nearby, as he shakes his finger at you.

“Don’t tell me you fucked that scum Maybank.”

Your eyes refuse to look at him. He hurriedly steps towards you, hand wrapping around your neck as you struggle to breathe. Alarmed at the sudden change of his behaviour, you dig your nails into his skin but he wouldn’t budge. You’ve seen Rafe in plenty of his worst moments but you don’t think you’ve ever been truly afraid of him, not until now.

Rafe’s eyes are fixated on you with unhidden malice, for a brief moment you wonder if his strength would just snap your neck. It isn’t until he hears Sarah’s voice calling for you from downstairs that his hands loosen up but they still remain on your neck.

She calls for you again and he turn his head towards the direction of her voice, a distant look in his eyes.

You feel the pressure ease from around your neck as you cough.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” you reply as loudly as you can, trying to keep your voice grounded.

You slowly put your palm to his chest as you push him away, and he lets you. You walk away from him and as you descend the stairs, you feel the weight of your broken relationship follow you.

You feel a small smile form on your lips as your toes curl underneath the grains of hot sand. Kie and Sarah were splashing around in the water, their giggles echoing away.

You honestly couldn’t remember the last time you’d spent a summer like this, playing around in water, basking in the sun’s heat. It was a summer just like this that he’d told you how he felt about you; the earnesty and intensity had swept you off your feet—had pissed Sarah off too; she complained about how he’d done it to ruin her girl’s day— sometimes you wonder if he’d chosen to confess on that day purely to mess with his sister’s plans.

The rest of that summer, all your time was spent with him and the days to follow, underneath him. Sometimes the things Rafe said in the heat of the moment made it seem as though he had set his eyes on you way longer than when he’d let you on. That he’d known what belonged to him rearly but decided to claim his prize now purely to spite his sibling.

It didn’t matter anyway, you’re convinced that even before he uttered his words, you’d always held an underlying desire for him. The two of you had been so close as children. You’d been a little too rowdy and possessive than needed; always wondering if that was what had created a distance as you grew into your early teens.

He had preferred the company of the other Kook boys and you couldn’t stand it, had been real mean to him about it. So, when he finally spoke to you after a long silence, you had latched on to it without a second thought. Maybe that was your first mistake.

You’d chose the inkling of attention he’d give you over anything else. If you’d been more decisive, the two of you wouldn’t have been such a mess. Fire on fire was never going to end well.

Perhaps this was the best decision to make for the both of you, and God did it hurt. Heartstrings tugging as you notice the beach blond walk towards Kie. You avert your eyes as he looks towards your direction. You always begin to feel a resurgence of shame every time you see JJ. You wonder if he’s disgusted with you; you’re sure Rafe is.

The two of them continue to talk as Sarah swims towards you, plopping on to the deck to sit next to you.

“So, John B & JJ’s got a little party going on, wanna come?”

You lick your lips and shrug your head at her; she returns the look with a raised eyebrow.

“Come on. It’s been ages since I’ve got you like this, otherwise you are always under Rafe’s arms.”

She nudges you with her elbow as she pouts.

“This feels like our old summers. Well, there’s at least one good thing that comes out of him working for dad. Even if he’s still just as annoying, he’s not always around.”

You do nothing but smile at her little complains, you haven’t really told anyone yet, don’t know how you’re going to. You don’t know why, but you always just had this sense of finality with Rafe. Always thought the two of you would be together forever, and it wasn’t just you; you’re sure both of your parents felt the same way too.

When the two of you had gotten together nobody was surprised; not even Sarah. For all her annoyance, even she admitted that it was only a matter of time. You remember your mom telling you how happy she was; worried if your little quarrelling and misunderstandings would have lasted longer.

But it wasn’t just a little quarrel; bruised knees, broken toys, torn books and harsh words. The two of you had not been nice to each other. Looking back at it, you could have most definitely had healthier conversations.

You’ll never understand why everybody took it so lightly, as if it was inevitable when it came to love.

Everything about Rafe had started to overwhelm you, his behaviour, his actions, his words; merely the thought of him made you feel as if you were downspiralling. So, you smile in return and suppress your words as you always do. Agreeing to go along with her. Perhaps enough intoxication could help you get your mind off of things.

And it does, for a few brief moments you find yourself be swept away by the liquor in your system. The thrills and shouts of excited drunk teenagers all around, as you close your eyes and inhale in salty scent of the ocean. Your toes sink under, the sand grazing your feet as they are pulled away with the withdrawing ocean waves. The music playing nearby bounces off of all the voices and seem distant as you try to concentrate on it and sip your drink.

But your small semblance of peace can last only so long, as you’re abruptly pushed further into the ocean by somebody. It takes you a moment to register the obnoxious howling as a bunch of people crowd together, voices raising and phones pulled out to further their indifferent amusement.

From the distance you spot three familiar blondes, pushing your way through the crowd you walk forward. Topper has got his hands on John B, his fist crunched up to the latter’s collar as they continue to argue. Sarah’s overwhelmed request to stop goes unheard by the boys as their rage increases.

You walk towards her, hands reaching to pull her away from the ongoing fight. Her fingers clutch on to you; heels dug into the ground as she silently refuses to move. Their voices rise and is now joined by another set of blonds, neither of whose company you were excited about. Seeing the two of them in such close proximity, to you and to each caused an uncomfortable shiver to travel down your spine. JJ doesn’t shy away from an opportunity to taunt the Kooks and now with Topper laying hands on his best friend the chances of anything civil seemed slim.

The commotion has increased and you can’t help but glare at your ex-boyfriend as he just stands there… eyes boring into you. The least he could do is take his drunk friend away.

The calamity of the shrill argument however increases as Topper pushes John B into the ocean.

Sarah begs Rafe to do something but all he does is give her a taunting laugh, voice now directed towards the blonde Pogue. He jabs at him, distracting JJ from his friend’s cruelty. The two in front of you start talking over each other while the other two have started throwing punches.

Your hold on Sarah tightens as you try to pull her, but she pushes you away and runs towards the ocean. She continues screaming at Topper but he pays no attention to her as he tries to drown the other boy. You could almost hear John B’s muffled screams through the water as the hand on his head push him further down.

Your hands move into your pocket as you take out your cell, fingers ready to call the cops. It would be the only way to put them to stop, the consequences could be dealt with later. But before you can even dial the first digit, you feel a horrendous shrill of your ears ringing.

JJ stands in front with a gun in his hand, pointed up as he screams. That echoed by the frenzy of everyone running haywire increases the confusion of the situation. Your mind screams at you to run and yet your body can’t seem to even move a foot further.

Topper backs away from JJ, hands raised up, but the latter continues to move towards him. You get pushed again, falling down onto the sand as the kids around you run around aimlessly in fear. You curse at the pain you feel on your scratched knees, eyes widening as you see Rafe attack JJ from behind, pushing the other boy to the ground as he stays atop. You wince; body flinching at the way he punches into the younger boy’s jaw.

Rafe continues on with his assault, determined to beat the boy bloody as he pays no mind to the voices of Topper or Sarah. You can’t help but look away, body sick with the turmoil of everything happening in front of you. You briefly wonder if the resentment goes further back.

Shutting your eyes close as you hear the crack of a bone and you’re sure; of course it does. You try to push yourself off of the ground but fall back, before you can try again, you hear the distant wail of sirens approach.

Perhaps someone else had the same thought as you.

You can make out the red and blue lights approaching when suddenly you’re pulled up. Lifted off of the ground and pulled along as the boy’s hand stays tight on your arm.

You try to pull back, brows furrowing, ready to question him only for him to pull you along, touch much harsher now.

“We’ve got to get the fuck out of here,” his teeth girt, “unless you want some quality time in a cell.”

Rafe’s hand twist around your arm as you try to walk along with him. You trip on your toes and fall into the harsh sand, but his grip on you stays strong as he pulls you up and continues to walk away from the shore. Up ahead, further from the crowded beach you find his vehicle parked away in a corner.

You hold onto its metal doors as he helps you into his jeep. Your nose crinkles as you rub your elbow, feeling a jolt of pain flare through. Sinking into the seat you try to steady your breath. Rafe jumps into the driver’s seat beside you, hurriedly strapping in your seat belt as well as his before pressing on to the accelerator.

“Wait- what about Sarah?” you question, voice concerned. You’d lost sight of her during the chaos and Rafe had barely even given you a moment to think before he pulled you away.

“Fuck Sarah,” he grits as his palms turn the steering wheel, “We’re in all this mess because of her to begin with.”

“Rafe!” You lick your lips as your head turns around, looking along the beach to try and spot her among the countless heads that are running around.

“She could get in trouble! Your dad’s gonna kill her…” his eyes remain on the road as his grip tightens, “I’m sure her troublemaker friends can find a way out.”

He drives away onto the main road that connects into the opposite direction. As you look into the side mirror you see the brief glimpse of red and blue lights slowly shrink as you drive away.

He’s been driving aimlessly for a while now. If you weren’t as exhausted as you were, you would have called him out on it a long time ago. You’ve just been hoping that he takes a turn to your place or his, at the least. Beginning to feel the slight hints of suffocation peak through. You hadn’t seen him in weeks let alone spoken to, the last argument didn’t really leave space for much conversation anyway.

“How long are you gonna keep driving like this.” You mutter.

He turns his face towards you, eyes shiny and hair disheveled. His fingers flex around the wheel again and you can’t help but wince at his bloody bruised knuckles. You look away, out through the window into an empty road.

The darkness of the night creeps along with the cold air. His fingers move onto the gear shift, slowing down as he steps on the break, pulling over to the side. You lean your head forward as you breath, he says nothing, and neither do you. Rafe could keep going like this the whole night and you desperately just wanted to get home. You knew how he could be; it’s a silent threat to look at him and until then he won’t say a word.

You finally look at him, glancing upon his face for the first time in weeks. You feel your heart ache a little at what your relationship has crumbled into.

“We have to talk. I can- we can’t keep going like this baby.” He leans himself back into the seat, fingers running through his strands as he grips onto them.

“I know I fucked up; we fucked up… but I’ve given you enough time and space and whatever… we have- we have to talk and fix this, ok.”

“I can’t go on Iike this.” He hiccups, eyes almost tearing up as he looks at you.

You feel lingering sadness when you look at him, but his words shut that feeling down quite quickly.

“We fucked up?”

“Hey! You fucked that scum bag too, don’t act like you are not a part of the problem,” he fights back.

Biting your teeth in anger, you spit back, “Yeah, after you. You were the one who decided you wanted to put your dick in any girl who walks on that damn beach.”

“And you did the same to get back at me! And I don’t fucking care ok! I don’t- I don’t care.” He throws his hands around, looking at you like you were the irrational one here.

“I love you; I forgive you. So, let’s just move on from this and just never fuck up again,” he pleads.

Your heart keeps hammering in, at his words as you feel a string of curses on the tip of your tongue.

“I fucked up! I fucked up. I admit it,” his lips tremble, “let’s just move on past this.”

“I don’t want to.”

There's a brief moment of silence as your voice lingers in the air.

“What?”

It slips out as a confused and annoyed whisper, but there’s a fear in his eyes that tells you he knows what you’re going on about.

“I’ve done things I shouldn’t have. I’ve done something I never thought I would. I can’t believe this is what I’ve become,” you cry out.

“So, you’re punishing me for it?”

“All of this is our fault,” you desperately scream.

“Yeah, sure, blame everything on me, why don’t you,” a hushed whisper, “just like you always fucking do.”

You feel your eyes sting as it slowly tears up, your bottled-up emotions finally flowing through.

“We’re not good for each other Rafe, it’s time we finally accept that.”

“Don’t- don’t fucking do this to me, Y/N.”

He hits his hand on to the head board and screams. Desperation etched in his tone as he turns towards you. Hands rough on your cheeks as he squeezes them between his fingers.

His hot breath fans over your cheeks as he presses his forehead to your temple. You feel squeamish at his touch but you still hold your composure. His breathing slows down but the heaviness of it is still evident as he leans in and pecks your cheek.

“Please baby, let me make it up,” his hands drifts down, lightly grazing your breast, fingers circling around your hardening nipple. His touch warm against the cold air, as it makes your entire body tingle.

“Get off, Rafe,” you huff, frustrated at his actions.

His brows frown and he gropes your breast harder making you wince. His lips move forward and capture you in haste, the leather of the seat stings your back and the belt around you prevents you from moving.

His lips roughly latch on to yours as he kisses you, hands crawling down, fingers digging into your thigh as he squeezes them. Tongue slipping into your mouth as your lips helplessly move along to his, his kiss gets sloppier and rougher as he pulls your lips between his teeth.

“Let me be good to you,” he whispers, as his fingers play with the lace of your skirt.

“Have you lost your mind!?” you cry out, confused and alarmed at his behaviour, was this supposed to ease your worries?

“Shhh relax, just relax for me; ok,” he says, leaving open mouth kisses along your neck to your clavicle.

His fingers press against your cunt; the flimsy pantie the only barrier in between, as he moves up to kiss your neck again. Sucking at your skin as he presses his face further into the crook of your neck.

Mind overwhelmed by his touch, you try to hold onto his hand and push it away. His nails dig in as he harshly squeezes your thigh, twisting away from your grasp as pushes his way through anyway.

“Rafe… get off,” you try to push him again, body tensing at the feel of his skin as he pushes your underwear to the side, fingers moving up and down over your cunt.

You close your eyes, head bumping into the headrest as you bite onto your lips. His fingers play around with your folds and then slowly push two fingers into you.

“Ohhh, look at that,” he smirks, “she wants me so bad,” as he teases you.

You feel your cheeks heat up—his hot breath dancing around as he closes the distance between you—embarrassed at how easily you succumb to him.

He pushes his fingers in and out making your hands scramble to hold on to something as you huff. His thumb presses onto your clit and you let out a frustrated growl.

Tongue darting out as you try to focus your vision on him. His blue eyes stare back at you, a sparkle in them as he increases the speed of his fingers between your legs.

Your thighs press together yet his pace doesn’t change. You bite onto your lip again; hard. You turn your head away from him to the other side as you whine. His fingers poke in harder and harder as he goads, “that’s it, that’s it baby. You can do it.”

You spasm and moan, legs quivering, pussy clenching around his fingers as you come.

He sighs, hot breath fanning on your cheek as he pulls out making you wince. The wetness trailing through your thigh as he pulls his hand away. He kisses your cheek again, blue eyes glued on to you as you stare at him. He brings his fingers up and pushes it into his mouth, sucking on them as he hums to the taste of you.

Your breath gets caught up in your throat at the sight of him, all flushed in front of you. His other hand moves to tightly grab on to your hair making you wince, fingers intertwining with your strands as he twists them. Pushing your head forward with the strength of his forearm, pressing your lips on to his.

He sucks on them and pushes his tongue into your mouth, moving yours along with it. You clench your thighs as you feel yourself get wet again at the taste of you on his mouth. The scent of both of you invades your senses and you kiss him back. For a brief moment you forget about everything that had happened between the two of you.

He parts away for a brief moment, hips turning to the side as he mutters in frustration, “this shit is digging in.” His hand moving to the back pocket as he tries to grab something.

Your rosy haze is still undisrupted and you lean towards him as he hastily moves forward to kiss you again. That is until your eyes land on the metal gun that he had just now haphazardly placed on top the dashboard.

“What the fuck! Where did you get that from?" you scream at him eyes widening as you squirm back in your seat.

"Seriously, Rafe! You fucking took it from JJ and just kept it with you,” you shout, arms moving around as you point at it.

“What would you have me do! Just let him fucking keep it!?”

“I don’t know? Why didn’t you just throw it away somewhere on the beach. Do you realize how dangerous this is,” you huff out; frustrated.

“Unbelievable… I mean, I save you from that lunatic and this is the thanks I get,” he shakes his head as his teeth grits.

“I’m always in the wrong for you, aren’t I?” he complains, lips muttering as he pushes at the door and storms out, shutting the door loudly in your face.

You sit there for a few seconds; stumped, trying to process your thoughts. You didn’t want him to get upset especially in a situation like this where he has something as dangerous as a gun in his hand. You knew how he could get when he was angry, and you shuddered at the thought of something bad happening.

Opening your side of the door, you get out, feet stumbling as you make your way around.

“I’m sorry, ok. I just didn’t want you to get in any trouble.”

“We don’t even know where he got that gun from, Rafe. What if he’s stolen it?” you try to reason with him but all you get is an angry stare, “Don’t get me started on what you’d have to hear from Ward.”

With his back turned towards you he scoffs, and then turns around, a distant look in his eyes as his hands clutch around the metal gadget.

“Like you care about how I’m treated, how I feel,” you try to argue back but he continues, “-you don’t. I know that very well, so I wonder why you’re acting all so concerned.”

He walks towards you, shaking his hands, “What? You think I’m gonna use this?” eyes squinting as he questions, “do you really think that I’m as stupid and impulsive as JJ.”

He takes a step forward; you take one away from him. Eyes glued on to that fucking gun in his hand as you swallow the dread forming with the way he keeps moving it around. Your back hits the truck and you still, an annoyed and hurt look on his face.

He presses the tip of it towards his chest and you cry out; annoyed by his antics.

“You hurt me, Y/N,” he whispers, lips trembling. Eyes fliting away unfocused as he scoffs and throws the gun away.

You finally let go the breath you’d been holding in. Body leaning back as you slump against the vehicle, and you can’t help but whisper an apology, for what you’re not sure.

His weight is on you in an instant, body pressed over you as he kisses you again. A hand curving around your waist as he pulls you closer to him. Fingers meddling with the door handle as he opens the door and pushes you into the back seat. He crawls on top of you, knees pressing against your thighs as he spreads them open.

“You know I’m better than that, I’m better than that Pogue. I’m better than anyone else on this fucking island.”

“You are all I want,” fingers desperate to hold onto you as he pleads, “all I need is another chance.” He presses his weight on top of you, toying with your dress as he holds you, “let me show you, let me show you baby.”

He doesn’t take much time toying with his own pants, and soon you feel him; hard and wet as he grinds against your cunt. Your nails dig into his back, you know you should stop him but all your words end up swallowed by his lips.

Your lips part as you feel the tip of him pushing into you, stretching you out. Closing your eyes shut as you try to adjust to the feel of him inside you.

His teeth graze against your skin as you whisper his name, that seems to have caught his attention. The leather beneath, too hot against your skin as he ruts into you.

His head bends down, groaning at the way your walls cling around him. Forehead resting onto yours as he breaths. Your tongue falls flat as sweat clings onto your body.

He props himself up with his elbow, other hand moving up as his palm holds your face, his tongue darting out to lick your lips.

“We’re gonna be ok. I promise we are, alright?” he whispers.

You know that there’s no reasoning with Rafe, all you can do is nod along with him. Tears kissing your eyes as you shut them close. Preferring the darkness, trusting his words and hoping for a better tomorrow.

To be loved is to be changed, and this love… this love would be the ruin of you.

When your floor comes, you get off and find your way to your cubicle. You set down the box, pushing aside your coaster and keyboard, only to knock your mouse onto the floor. You bend to pick it up and look around the office. The agents on night shift are heading out as others file in here and there.

Unlike the operatives, your schedule is steady. Standard seven to three. It’s early, sure, but at least you get the day over with. And your job is a lot easier and safer. You’re a security assistant. You mostly handle issuing badges and reviewing clearances. You're one of a whole team of assistants in just the Counterintelligence unit alone.

You sit and get booted up for the day. Alongside confirming and updating clearances, you have to go over other access details and coordinate with tech to make sure everything is running smoothly. And if it isn’t, you will hear about it.

It’s just another day and it isn’t. With as much access as you have to information, you can’t help but take note. There’s a birthday today. Last week, it was Golda’s and you made her a gluten free cheesecake. She loved it.

Today, it’s Agent Fowler’s. He is usually off-site for his work and the agents don’t necessarily socialise often with the admin; not unless they’re a particular sort. A tall and gorgeous sort. You don’t know much about him so you did some guessing.

You figured the vanilla bean sponge with the pistachio frosting was a general enough flavour, but not too plain. Though you might have gotten carried away with the decoration. The cake is only 6 inches around. A modest feat but enough to share with someone else. The green buttercream is intricately speckled with hand-crafted icing frogs and lily pads. Cute but not childish.

“Jensen,” the familiar voice draws your eyes away from your screen. “Where the fuck is it?”

You bite your cheek. Agent Fowler can be testy. You’ve only had a few direct encounters and he would mostly just tell you what to do.

Jensen, a tech, fumbles around and quickly hands over a metal disc. It’s snatched out of his hand as Fowler stomps away without a thanks. You look at the cake box and shakily rub your neck. Well, maybe it will be a good perk up.

You wait an hour and let the office settle. Some people are still arriving as you check the calendar. No meetings. This is your in. You get up and take the box with you. You hover around Fowler’s office door, turning to look over at the bullpen. People stare dully at screens, ready to melt into their desks from the tedium of it all.

You face the door again and knock gently. No answer. You try again, harder.

“What do you want?” Fowler snaps from inside.

You teeter on your feet. If you run away, it will just annoy him more. You let yourself in.

“Uh, hi, Mr– Agent Fowler. I just wanted… to say… happy birthday?” You eke out as he glares at his phone screen.

“What?” He hisses without looking up.

You gulp and cross the office. You’re stupid. You put down the box on his desk.

“It’s just… I make something for everyone in the office. Um, I brought in the eclairs for the Director in March–” You open the box to show him the cake.

“The fuck are you bugging me for? I got shit to do.” He slams his phone down on its screen and stands.

You flinch and recoil. He sneers down at the cake. He shakes his head and flips the lid back up. He raises his fist and crushes the box with a heavy slam. You gasp and take another step back.

“Don’t come back here unless it’s about work.” He pushes the box off his desk. “Not that I need anything from a desk rat.”

You blink and snap your mouth shut. You cough and flee for the door. You stop and look over your shoulder as he kicks the box and cake and icing escapes the folded cardboard.

“Sorry, sir–”

“Tell the fucking cleaner to get in here and clean up your mess.” He snarls.

You rush out and stop yourself before you stumble into a cubicle wall. You steady your steps and set off to find Tina, the cleaner. You would do it yourself but you’re actually terrified to even try.

You never got a response like that before. Agent Walker was a bit grumpy but he wasn’t angry, while most of the other agents were pleasantly surprised. You just thought it was a nice thing to lighten up the office malaise. 

Well, maybe this is a good lesson. This is work, not a party.

🍰

You cup your chin in your hand as you scroll through the application. Your eyes skim between your two screens as you double check the specifications and documentation alongside the form. Hm.

You tap your finger on your cheek and blow out a soft raspberry. Your cubicle wall suddenly shakes and you sit up. Your elbow hits your cup and you barely save it from spilling. You catch the mug of tea and face your unexpected visitor.

You can’t help but stare up at Agent Fowler in shock and a bit of fear. It’s been three days since you brought him the cake. You roll back slightly as you turn your chair to face him. You sniff.

“Uh, hello, sir–”

“Pack your shit.” He drops an empty box on your keyboard.

“What?” You murmur. He can’t fire you over a cake.

“Move your shit.” He puts his hands on his hips. “New trainee. Needs a desk.” He jabs his thumb over his shoulder. “Pretty sure you’re the one who signed off on his badge. You pay attention, sweetie?”

You hold back a frown. “Oh, uh, there’s desks–”

“I know where there are desks. He needs this one.” He stands straight and crosses his arms. “I can’t be walking halfway across hell’s acre to get to him. Chop chop.”

You nod and set down your mug. “Of course, sir. Sorry, I just…”

“Hurry up. I won’t have him waiting on your ass.” He grabs the little brass hedgehog from beside your monitor and drops it in the bin. “Maybe you wouldn’t take so long with so much clutter.”

You don’t respond as he struts off. You’re not sure if it’s because you dared remember his birthday or this is him picking a random target, but you won’t antagonise him either way. You put your things into the box as quickly as you can. You clear your instant coffee packets and teas out of your drawer, some pens, and a few other bits and bobs.

“Leave the keyboard and mouse.” Fowler approaches again.

“But… these are mine–”

“Kid needs em. Go. Ask tech to get you replacements.” He barks.

You glance around. Those watching quickly pretend they aren’t. You’ve made a powerful enemy, all because you thought you were being nice.

You hold the box under one arm and grab your cold tea. You head off to the back corner with the old desks and creaky chairs. It’ll take you forever to get an expense report through for a new set of monitors. Guess you’ll be working on your laptop.

You put the box down and your laptop too. You sit with the cold earl grey and sigh. Who knew a hobby could become such an issue.

🍰

The next week, you notice that your pen organiser is gone. It’s on the trainee’s desk. Your stolen desk. You say nothing.

Tuesday, your chair isn’t the same as the one before. The cushion is so thin you can feel the metal frame and one wheel won’t roll. You look around for a better one but no luck.

Wednesday, you get an email from Fowler. Unpersonalised. He needs clearance for transport. You’re not stupid enough to deny him. You do your review without really thinking. Granted. Hopefully the Director doesn’t check these things before they finalise them.

Thursday.

Almost through the week. You’re exhausted. You rub your eyes through the morning, yawning as you hunch at your laptop. Without a monitor or stand, you have to get down to level and the chair your on doesn't go that low.

At lunch, you sneak out to the cafe. You usually eat in the breakroom with Sandra and Hannah. Sandra is a new grandmother with pictures of everything the baby does, and Hannah is on her second pregnancy and fawning over every single shot. You smile through, happy to have someone to sit with.

You come back with an iced strawberry matcha. You don’t have it often but you need the boost. You sit down at your desk and sign back in. You still have half an hour in your break but you’ll just work through it.

As you hunker down and review existing credentials, there’s a thump on your cubicle. You look up as Fowler glares down at you. What now?

“Got a visitor coming in. Need a pass.”

You pull your hand away from your cup. “Oh, um, Terri issues visitor credentials.”

“I’m not asking Terri.” He snips.

You nod and take a breath. “I can email and get the pass template.”

“I didn’t fucking ask you the details. Bring it to my office in ten.”

He pushes off the cubicle so your whole desk shakes. Great. This was your favourite job until you screwed it all up. No one bothered you, they all just did their work, and a swift hello or have a good day was just enough in passing.

You email Terri and realise you got no information from Agent Fowler. Your stomach goes to war with itself as you try to figure out what to do. You get up and make your way past the new cubicles to Fowler’s door.

You knock. This time it takes three attempts for him to bark at you to get inside.

“Sir, I… have the pass but I need the information for the visitor–”

“Get the fuck out of my office,” he spits as he once more thumbs at his phone.

“I can’t issue a blank pass–”

“Do what I fucking tell you, cake girl.” He snaps. “Or I’ll send your name to the director. Got me?”

You back out without argument. You can issue the pass blank and get caught on the off-chance, or he can go to the director yourself and get you fired without a doubt.

🍰

Friday. The week is almost over. You just need to make it through the day and then you can go rot at home… until tomorrow. Damn you for making plans you have to live up to.

You go through the usual routine. Things feel calmer. You’re not sure why. You fall into the pattern of your daily work, undisturbed until a familiar snarl crawls through the office.

“How hard is it to– how the fuck are you still in business? You do one thing!” Fowler shouts.

You peek up and stand slightly to get a look at him over the other cubicles. You only see the top of his head as his door swings open and shut with the taper of his footfalls. You sit back down and stay low. Someone’s not having a good day.

It takes a moment for you to refocus on your own work. You rub the crick in your neck from hunching over the laptop. Maybe you can cut out early. Your stomach is suddenly very upset.

As you open your tracking sheet for applications, a message pops up from Slack. Oh no. It’s him. He’s never ever messaged you on the chat.

You hesitate and click.

‘My office.’

You stare. What? He can’t mean it? For what? You can’t leave him on read; that’s just another tick on the list.

You lock your computer and get up. You cross the bullpen stiffly and before you can knock on Fowler’s door, it opens. He points you inside without a word.

You enter and he snaps the door shut. He turns and paces. You watch him, hugging yourself as you prepare for a storm.

He stops suddenly and faces you. He leans against his desk and crosses his arms. His deep blue eyes swim with fury.

“You made that cake?” He asks.

You nod, confused.

He watches you. He sucks in his cheek and chews it. He tilts his head back and takes a deep breath. He lets it out.

“I need another one. Tomorrow. Birthday cake.”

“Um, okay. Uh, I know a few places–”

“They’re fucking booked. So make me a damn cake.”

Your mouth opens slightly. You want to ask why? Or even if he’s going to pay because it’s really not that cheap or easy.

“For a woman. That enough?” He grits.

You know better than to ask anything; not even about a flavour.

“Sure. I’ll make it work.” You say.

You hated walking at night.

But, alas, here you were. it wasn't safe at all, and you knew that, but you tried to be as careful as you could be. What had happened was you were working late at the bookstore, the job you loved, and you couldn't get a ride home so you had to walk home.

I'm never walking at night again, you thought. it had always been a risk.

But tonight, especially. You saw an alleyway, but decided not to go that way until you're pulled in.

“Let me go!” You exclaim. You had your pepper spray in your bag but he had ambushed you and you dropped your bag.

“How much money do you have?” The man sneers. “Not much, now let me go!” You exclaim. You aren’t an idiot, you don’t carry cash on you. And your card isn’t even your purse. You keep it safe at home.

"Hm, nothing? Well, at least your pretty face is worth something."

You scream and kick as he gropes you, his hands everywhere on you and you feel disgusted, you almost want to vomit. You feel so powerless, and maybe you are, but he's so much stronger and you normally, normally, are very much capable of taking care of yourself.

You close your eyes and prepare for the worst when you feel him being shoved away from you. You open your eyes and see Kid Danger, right there.

"Kid Danger?"

You blink, partly in shock, and the part of you that's a big fan wants to just squeal and tell everyone you saw him. "Are you okay?" He asks, helping you stand up.

"Mhm, physically, at least."

"See? I'll always protect you."

You stare, and it hits you suddenly. Kid Danger's Henry. Though, it's always been obvious, the mask doesn't hide much, but swellview isn't known for having geniuses.

"Oh my god, Henry!"

"Shh," He said, muttering under his breath," Shit." "Well, if you didn't want me to find out, don't say something I know you said," You say, crossing your arms.

You gasp when you look at the guy who assaulted you."Seriously?" "Hey, it's no big deal, he deserved it, anyway," Henry said, trying to justify the fact that he had pretty much killed the guy.

He was badly beaten, blood everywhere. His face? Unrecognizable. You don't feel sad, but you're horrified at what Henry had done, because He's Kid Danger, he's a hero, he's supposed to be one, anyway.

Now, you're not sure.

"I'm worried, Henry.." You frown."What's going on? Be honest, you can be, now." "Shit, Shit, Ray's going to kill me," He murmurred. "Um, what?" You say.

"I'm really sorry for this."

"Hm?"

Suddenly, you're stunned and knocked out. But when you do wake up, you realize VERY quickly that you're in an unfamiliar room, and not in your bedroom. But you can hear some talking, so there has to be other people.

You groan as you stumble a little, there's some bruises on your arm from that guy. The visual picture of what he looked like after Henry had nearly killed him to death was in your head, and it was disturbing.

"Oh hey..." Your sister said. "Charlotte! You knew?" You exclaimed. "Well, uh, yeah, but in his defense, I figured it out," She said. Then Jasper came out of the elevator with Piper, who freeze when they see you.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Why is Y/N here?" Jasper asked. "I could be asking you the same thing," You say."I just want to know what's going on! And why I've been left in the dark!"

"Because for one, we all made an oath, and two, it's safer that way," Charlotte explained."But it doesn't matter anyway. Let me guess, Henry slipped up?"

"Mhm. But it was kind of obvious this whole time, is everyone just blind?" You ask. "Eh..." They said in unison. "I guess I'm an idiot," You groan.

"The only idiot here is Jasper."

"Hey!"

"Am I wrong?"

You laugh."Thanks. Speaking of, where's Henry?" "Ray's lecturing him right now," Charlotte said."With Schwoz, apparently." You squint your eyes."I might need a little bit more context than that. Is Ray Captain Man?"

She nodded.

"And Schwoz is-?"

"A super genius who basically created all of this," Piper explained. "Great," You sigh, plopping down on the couch."Why was I brought here rather than the super comfortable house that I live in?"

"Because you may or may not be targeted by a supervillains,” Jasper blurted.

“WHAT?”

You are naturally both angry and shocked, and also afraid. Charlotte laughed nervously.”Jasper wasn’t supposed to say that.”

“Henry and Ray are dealing with it right now,” Jasper then continued.

“you weren’t supposed to say that either. But we also thought you might be unconscious for a little bit longer.”

You roll your eyes. Secrets, secrets, and even more secrets. "Well, okay, but I think now I'm owed the truth," You say. "You can be angry," Charlotte told you."But can you at least understand it was with good intention?"

"Yes," You say, calming down a bit."I know you'd never lie to me unless you had to. I'm just shocked Jasper's kept a secret this long." "Hey! I'm pretty good at keeping secrets," He defended."But, fair point. We really did just try and protect you. Especially Charlotte and Henry."

"I know, I just really want the truth now."

Charlotte sat down next to you and began explaining. It all just kind of happened. You quickly understood the situation. You still were somewhat angry but you at the same time calmed down and now felt a bit more graceful.

“Trust me, Henry was wanting to tell you for years, how can you not see that he’s in love with you?” Charlotte chuckled.

“What? I never saw it that way,” You admitted.”But I just thought he liked you.” Charlotte burst into laughter."That's never been the case at all! I think you just let your judgment get clouded. I mean, seriously!"

"Okay, you don't have to keep on judging," You laugh. "I'm not, just pointing out the obvious," She replied. "Okay, Okay," You snicker."When will Henry and Ray be back? I kind of want to talk to Henry, about... last night."

"Soon, hopefully," Piper commented."Although lately they've both been pretty tense." "Tell me about it," Charlotte commented."Anyway, Y/N, I wouldn't worry too much."

Except I should be, I saw what he could be like, You thought, but didn't say this out loud. he did save your life and you are thankful, but still, what the fuck was that?

Your emotions were all over the place right now. On one hand, you are grateful that you at least were given the truth and they didn't just lie even more, on the other hand, your crush is Kid Danger!

Well, it made sense now as you actually think about it.

His excuses never made much sense and an idiot could put two and two together eventually.

Suddenly, you see Henry and Ray come down from the tubes. That was cool, the technology in this place was fascinating, and pretty advanced for the modern times. Schwoz must really be a genius.

"Oh hey... Henry said, awkwardly. "We have to talk, right now," You insist, a bit more stern that you'd like but you weren't going to just sit around and avoid conflict forever.

"Right. It's long overdue."

"Someone's in trouble," Ray whispered, and a few of them chuckle. "Seriously, I just don't understand, you're giving me mixed signals, Henry!" You exclaim."I'm not mad as I should be about this, because a superhero has to keep secrets, but one minute I think you might like me, and then the next you actually don't."

You hated that he still made you feel this way, You just wish you could get over him, but you couldn't. The two of you had managed to sneak away so it was just you and him.

"I do like you, a lot, I just... can't, Y/N," He said."You don't understand. It's not a healthy feeling at all." "What are you talking about?" You asked. "I want you, and I thought for a while maybe it'd be better to just bury and bury, but I was just digging my own grave," He explained."You consume me."

That shouldn't flatter you, or make you feel some sort of way, but it does.

You want to say something.

"It's like I lose control when it comes to you, which is obviously shitty considering I'm Captain Man's sidekick," He groaned. "Henry, I'm not... mad," You say."I should be, I really fucking should be. No, I should be scared but I'm not."

"Then fuck it."

He kissed you, pulling you in and you can't help but kiss back, it's possessive and far from gentle, but the roughness is exactly what you craved, and you were once ashamed of it.