#darius sing

Wanted to show off my sexuality/gender + skin tone headcannons !!

And then today I turned on the TV and Sing 2 was on and my whole life made so much more sense.

Eddie: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Buster: I wrote you a poem.

Eddie, already crying: You did?

Mike: I just learned a way to get stuff on the cheap: Steal it!

Eddie: But that's censorship.

Buster: Well done. You are correct. You're being censored. Now go.

Buster: We call that a traumatic experience.

Buster, turning to Lance: Not a "bruh moment".

Buster, turning to Suki: Not "sadge".

Buster, turning to Crystal: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

Clay: Hey Buster, I've got an idea for how to solve this.

Buster, pulling out a shotgun: Yeah?

Clay: Wh- No! That's not the idea, Buster!

Nooshy: Have you heard of Murphy's law? The one where if something can go wrong, it will go wrong?

Porsha: Yeah, I have.

Nooshy: Have you heard of Cole's law?

Porsha: Is this a joke about coleslaw?

Nooshy: ...maybe.

Ash: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

Meena to Buster: Turn that frown upside down!

*A little while later*

Meena: What are you doing?

Buster, trying to do a handstand: You told me to "turn that frown upside down", but it's not working.

Ms. Crawley to Porsha: First rule of battle, little one... don't ever let them know where you are.

Mike, shooting out of frame: WHOO-HOO! I'M RIGHT HERE! I'M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O' ME!? YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! WHOO-HOO!

Ms. Crawley: 'Course, there're other schools of thought.

Gunter: *Slowly pushes a cannon into a 17th century bank* Okay everyone, be cool. This is a robbery!

Mike: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why.

Ms. Crawley: Only if you also don't ask why.

Ms. Crawley: *Pulls out four prestine human skulls from their bag*

Mike: ...

Mike, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

Ash: Mint is just cold spicy:

The squad: ...

Lance: What the actual fuck is wrong with you?

Jerry: N... No!

Porsha: A fair rebuttal. However, consider this counterpoint: Y... Yes???

Darius: I came out here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now.

Lance: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing.

Ash: Are you a software update? Because not right now.

Alfonso: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked.

Porsha: Solution, just pop it back in the over for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right?

Darius: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly doggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time.

Meena: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word: Slunchy!

Norman: ...put it away.

Gunter: Hey Porsha?

Porsha: Yeah?

Gunter: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?

Porsha:

Rosita: "Oh That's not.."

Meena: "Oh!"

Buster: "Flying cars they said.."

Johnny: "So close!.." / "Looks around.." / "And the crowd leaves?"

Ash: "Sybau." / "Ts pmo." / "Womp womp."

Nooshy: "I did not place this brick..." / "BOO! Did I scare you? I'm a bar of soap! 🧼" / "🤡"

Porsha: "Hey So this is actually insane! Hope this helps!"

Clay: "On MY cellular device?"

Gunter: "Confidence is key 🧚‍♀️✨💗 Now throw the key away 😇💞✨"

Mike: "Why is no one hating?" / "Post this on ig reels lil bro. 💀"

Jimmy: "And the world kept spinning." / "Ratio/Skill Issue." / *Replies with their address*

Darius: "My ranked teammates. 😭"

Eddie: "I'm employed, what does this mean?" (he's not.)

Rosita: Wearing loose pajamas , listening to rom-com audiobooks

Meena: humming , hugging a stuffed animal

Buster: Nature sounds , classical music

Johnny: White noise , having a window open

Ash: Rock music , storm sounds

Nooshy: falling asleep to movies/reels , listening to her playlist

Porsha: wearing a facemask , making up fake stories in her head

Clay: having a loud fan , window open , wearing back pain patches

Gunter: falling asleep to soap operas / dramas

Ms Crawley: listening to romantic audio books , having a cup of tea

Mike: Listening to jazz , white noise

Jimmy: Watching/listening to documentaries , having a massage

Darius: Instrumental music , hugging a pillow

Eddie: literally just passing out asleep

Rosita: Gathering food and pretty things for decoration / making sure everyone has food and good health

Meena: Gathering animals for a farm / making beds for everyone

Buster: Planning out the base

Johnny: Mining / making armor for everyone

Ash: raiding and stealing from villages / trapping villagers in boats

Nooshy: Helping Johnny mine / killing the mobs / trying to go to the nether

Porsha: Decorating her room in the base

Clay: Learning how to play / dying from accidently hitting a wolf

Gunter: Adopting a bunch of animals / playing on creative

Ms Crawley: Helping Buster

Mike: Trading with villagers / stealing the others' diamonds

Jimmy: wasn't invited to their world

Darius: making videos and exploring the map

Eddie: trying to defeat the ender dragon