I have so many thoughts on "The First Temptation Of Daphne" that I need to get out. I've seen some debate lately about whether or not Niles dealt with the situation well.
I'm of the opinion that he dealt with it as well as he could. Niles is between a rock and a hard place. On the fly, he needs to figure out how to be both a good boyfriend and also protect patient confidentiality. If this were a normal situation with just some random woman or a random friend of his then I would agree that he dealt with it atrociously. The problem is, this is not a normal situation. I would urge anyone who thinks he used the wrong wording to write out the dialogue yourself in a way that reassures Daphne and also protects patient confidentiality. In fact, I think he maybe went too far in comforting Daphne in the beginning. Technically he confirmed that this woman thought she had feelings for him but he didn't believe that she truly did. Which is maybe giving too much information but again he has to figure out on the fly how to reassure Daphne and also not get a lawsuit from a pissed off patient or worse yet lose his license.
I actually think that "Frasier" dealt with this really well. For one, they didn't fall into a trap of simply making Daphne this crazy jealous bitch. When you hear her reasoning for the insecurity it makes total sense. Like of course she would feel this way. And if you weren't in the mind of Niles Crane it would be totally valid. Now we as an audience know that Niles has ALWAYS been a one woman man... the problem was that he was a one woman man for Daphne but in a relationship with other women at the time. But Daphne isn't in Niles brain obviously so her insecurities as an ex other woman are valid and from my perspective absolves her of a lot of guilt... at least in my opinion.
The other thing is that Daphne doesn't explain herself at first. Once she explains why she was insecure then Niles is able to reassure her without bringing his patient into the conversation at all. He listens to her and explains his feelings for her and how they are different in a respectful and gentle way. Real communication helps on both ends. It helps Daphne and it helps Niles communicate in a way that is honest, sweet, and genuinely reassuring.
