#dailythought

Hi! This is me ♡ I’m Ashley! I just made this little blog so I can post my daily thoughts uncensored. I’m going to share a little bit about me, only a little bit though because eventually I would love to have my own VLOG on YouTube and share my life story there, or any questions people develop for me over-time. 

Anyways; I’m a mommy of 2. Boy & girl.. for safety reasons I’m going to call them C & Cc (C is my boy & Cc is my girl) my oldest is 4 (c) and my youngest is 3 (cc) they are my world. I know everyone says their children saved them, I’m not one to say that isn’t the case with everyone but they truly did save me. From myself, toxic people, toxic energy; just know my life changed after I had Cc, it wasn’t always rainbows and butterflies though. We’ve moved around a lot... even in their short little life’s I’m proud to say I’ve never had to be without them although I’ve struggled. 

I’ve struggled all my life with bullying, self identity issues, bi-polar disorder, depression, and sever PTSD ( I got when I was 11) & I recently just discovered I have body dysmphoria.. I’m almost positive I’ve had that my whole life but I never knew there was a name for it. I used to purposely put my seat belt on a certain way and CONSTANTLY fix it if it moved so it would cover my fat rolls. I’ve had days I thought about how fat I am from the second I woke up - all throughout the day until it was my last thought before bed. Constantly push myself in the gym. Days without eating.. I felt... satisfied; sad to say because I know now I wasn’t developing healthy behavior. That was back in 2018. 

2019 I fell off of the gym and let myself go, I wished so bad I hadn’t done that but I needed a slap back into reality. I started eating again, I visited the gym less and let myself go. I wouldn’t say I’m “fat” now but I’m not where I want to be and I feel myself thinking those bad thoughts again... yesterday I watched a very life changing video and decided to go vegetarian and eventually vegan, honestly that’s the reason I started this blog... so I can keep myself on track again. Update with weight-loss photos, veggie/vegan meals and all around just let my thoughts loose. I hope to make some good friends on here.