#dailyjmurphy

We’d been trading ideas for hours between his experiments with the wristbands, but nothing had come to fruition thus far. If anything, it simply made me realise how thankful I was that he had been part of our crew. Combining the knowledge of his parents with his technical expertise, he was likely the most valuable member of our camp.

“I’ve seen my parents do it with some pretty basic ingredients, but not anything that we could find in the wilderness.” He sighed, rubbing at his tired eyes after hours of shared brainstorming. “Not unless someone snuck a bottle of vinegar in their clothes.” He added, forcing a weak smile as he peered up at me and I chuckled.

“I’m not sure that I would put anything past them at this point.” I remarked, turning back to examine Jasper. “I remember reading something about Myrrh having antibacterial benefits once.” I muttered as I checked each of his wounds with a grimace, noticing that they were steadily getting worse rather than better.

“Myrrh? Like in the bible?” Monty questioned in a sceptical tone, gaining little more than a thoughtful hum in response. “I hate to burst your bubble, Cas, but I think that we might be on the wrong continent for Myrrh.” He teased, as I rubbed at my temples in frustration.

“Right. Stupid Earth.” I grumbled, already tiring of the challenges of our new life.

Although supplies had been limited and carefully rationed on the Ark, there were usually multiple treatment options at our fingertips. No amount of studying would have prepared for me the reality of living on a planet that had changed exponentially since any of our textbooks were written. It was frustrating to know that a few weeks ago, Jasper’s wounds which were now life threatening would have been an easy fix.

“The grounders cauterised this wound and applied a poultice.” I explained, feeling uncomfortable at the thought that they had done more for him than I could. “That means there is something useful in these woods. They’ve found a way to survive for all this time. They just have dealt with worse ailments than this without antibiotics or medical equipment. We just have to figure it out too.” I theorised, rubbing at my face in an effort to wake myself.

“What if we can’t?”

The question emerged in such a faint, terrified voice that I could practically feel my heart breaking for Monty. In all of the time that I’d spent training to work in Medical, there was little I dreaded more than having to tell a family member that we couldn’t save their loved one. Even the very thought of telling Monty that his best friend would suffer a slow and painful death from sepsis made my legs tremble with terror. Instead, I resolved not to allow this to happen, whatever I had to do.

“That’s not an option.” I asserted, turning to face him with a determined expression. “We’re not going to lose him.” I started firmly, earning the first genuine smile that I had seen from Monty since we arrived.

The hours seemed to drag as we sat in a silence that was only comfortable thanks to our familiarity. Occasionally, Jasper would stir awake and cry out in pain. In these moments, Monty would hold his hand and whisper soothing words whilst I did my best to make him more comfortable. It was strenuous for the both of us, but we kept each other strong.

The rosiness that usually filled Jasper’s cheeks was missing, replaced by a pallid grey skin tone that began to resemble that of a corpse. Despite my best efforts to keep his wounds clean, the edges were becoming swollen and red. Without antibiotics, there was little that I could do to prevent an infection from developing and I knew all too well that if this were to happen, it would only be a matter of time until we lost him.

As the night went on his screaming only increased in frequency, being met with wicked comments from campers who seemed annoyed by his will to survive. Their cruelty only worsened my already frazzled nerves. A newfound anger settled alongside my stress as I passed the time imagining ways to punish those without enough compassion to understand that they could easily find themselves in his shoes.

With no awareness of the time it was impossible to know how long we had managed to pass, but I could feel my eyelids growing heavy. My head bobbed as I struggled to remain upright, rubbing at my face with exhaustion.

“Hey. Thought I would check up on you.” Clarke announced as she climbed from the ladder onto our floor, her energy allowing me a boost. “How’s he doing?” She asked, nervously glancing between us as if she dreaded the answer and I ushered her closer.

“I actually wanted your opinion on something.” I offered, waiting for her to settle by my side before I put my plan into motion. “Shit. Monty, could you grab us some more water please?” I called over my shoulder, feeling a wave of relief wash over me when he immediately accepted the request.

Although I couldn’t shelter him from much, it seemed morbid to allow him to overhear our panicked conversations about the prognosis of his best friend. It was almost impossible to get him to leave Jasper’s side, but I would do anything necessary to shelter him from the worst.

Once he had reached the bottom of the ladder, I pulled back the dressing that covered the spear wound for Clarke to examine.

“The infection is spreading. His fever keeps rising and I think he’s becoming septic. If we don’t think of something soon, he won’t make it through another night.” I revealed in a hushed voice, leaning on her for some level of emotional support in the face of such unpleasant news.

“Damn! Isn’t there anything we could do?” She enquired, glancing down at him with a sadness that reflected my own.

“It’s already been cauterised, but the surrounding area is still dying.” I sighed, running my hands through my hair in a gesture of stress. “We could cut back the skin, but it’s an extreme treatment. It might not even help. We need to treat the problem, not the symptoms.” I explained, repeating one of the golden rules that Abby had drilled into me throughout my time shadowing her.

“Doesn’t sound like we have many other options.” She commented, stroking his hair back from his face tenderly and it was clear that she felt as guilty for even considering this as I did. “We’ll wait a bit longer. I’m sure you and Monty will come up with something better.” She decided, flashing me a hopeful smile that made me gulp down my nerves.

By now, Monty had arrived with the water and I refreshed the cloth to cool Jasper’s face. I held it to his forehead, then his cheeks, hoping to reduce his temperature even just slightly and he mumbled in his sleep. Even without glancing up from my patient, I could sense Monty smiling at me with appreciation.

Clarke returned to her night off, attempting to get some much needed sleep after numerous nights of the exact soul destroying exhaustion we were fighting at this moment. In spite of how awful we both felt, we remained vigilant at Jasper’s side. In the time that he had been incapacitated, I’d come to realise how important the vibrant boy was to me. If nothing else, being evicted from our home had given me a new sense of clarity.

It was exhausting to keep my mind constantly occupied throughout the night, but I couldn’t give up on finding a solution. Scanning through my memories, I recalled every time that I’d seen anyone deal with an infection in the clinic in the hope that I might find something useful. There were multiple ways of managing this kind of issue with the right tools, but I couldn’t remember a single time that we’d worked with natural treatments.

By the time that the sun rose, I’d still had no luck and sat despairingly with my face in my hands.

“Morning, crew.” Finn announced as he entered the space and I could only manage a groan in response. “Sounds like it’s been a long night. You two should get some air. Clarke will be here in a minute to watch him with me. I can hold the fort for a few.” He offered as Monty and I glanced at each other with uncertainty.

Realising that he had no intention of leaving his friend, I took the opportunity to rise to my feet to stretch out. A deep yawn escaped my lips, forcing me to acknowledge that I might actually need a break to wake my brain. I smiled gratefully at Finn for thinking of us, before making my way outside.

The fresh breeze on my skin was wonderfully refreshing as I took a deep breath of the fresh scent of nature. For a few moments, I simply stood and watched the activity in camp, allowing my mind to relax after a night that felt as if it had lasted for years. I listened to the lull of conversation, birds chirping in the distance and the wind rustling the trees at the edge of camp, until I noticed that Murphy was standing amongst them.

Confused at the idea of him taking time for some quiet self reflection, I made my way in his direction. I’d almost reached him by the time that I noted he wasn’t alone. Bellamy, Atom and Jones were deep into a hushed conversation with him and curiosity motivated me to continue approaching them to investigate. They appeared to be either practicing their weapon throwing skills, or simply indulging in some pointless show of masculinity which for a change didn’t require the audience of the entire camp.

“Look, Bellamy. People are scared.” Atom began as I crept into the bushes to avoid catching their attention, when a particularly loud scream from Jasper interrupted their conversation and left me feeling conflicted on whether I should put aside my nosiness to check whether he needed me.

“And that dying kid! He’s not helping the morale around here.” Atom continued, causing my stomach to lurch with dread as I resolved that I needed to remain here to assess this potential threat to my patient.

“Morale will go up again when I find them more food.” Bellamy answered firmly, seeming intent on maintaining his status as the leader of our camp, much to my disdain.

“And what do we say when they ask about Trina and Pascal?” Jones enquired in a manner that was surprisingly firm considering that he’d been seriously injured barely days ago.

The names they were discussing were unfamiliar to me, but that wasn’t uncommon. I’d hardly bothered to learn the names of anyone here, keeping my distance for my own safety. However, it seemed that there was something significant happening that they were suppressing from public knowledge. I listened carefully, keen to gain any leverage that I could use to protect Jasper if necessary.

“For now? Nothing.” Bellamy answered carelessly. “It’s possible they’re just lost. We’ll keep an eye out for them when we go hunting later.”

Pleased to have overheard something that could be beneficial in future, I began to creep further from the conversation before I could be noticed. I couldn’t help feeling somewhat alarmed at the thought that they would be venturing out again already, but was more significantly distracted by the negative attitude they had shown toward Jasper, and the willingness Bellamy showed to simply ignore the fact that another two members of our camp might have been taken.

“Let’s go kill something.” Murphy muttered, sending a bolt of alarm through me at the realisation that he would be joining them.

“You’re not going.” Bellamy announced as he blocked him from following the two who had already departed. “I need you to stay here. If the grounders are circling, we can’t leave this place unprotected.” He ordered, somewhat recovering some of my respect that he’d just lost by showing at least some limited awareness of the implications of more missing campers.

“Fine.” Murphy muttered in a bitter tone, like a child denied a well-earned treat. “Somebody better tell Goggle Boy to keep it shut.” He added, turning on his heel to launch his dagger at a nearby tree.

Despite the anger that he’d used to throw it, the blade simply bounced off the trunk with practically no impact. I barely managed to wait until Bellamy had left Murphy alone before I stepped out from my hiding place. With a sour expression, I stooped to pick up the weapon and crossed my arms at him, allowing him to feel the full force of my disapproval.

“Goggle Boy?” I repeated, allowing my tone to reveal exactly how disgusted I was with his comment. “When we first arrived, you said he was with you. Now you can’t even call him by his name?” I questioned, watching him squirm under my scrutiny.

“That was when he was useful. At this point, he’s just an inconvenience.” He defended as I thinned my eyes at him with a renewed anger burning in my stomach. “You can’t tell me that noise isn’t driving you crazy?” He spat, glancing up at the dropship furiously as if this were a reasonable justification for behaving like a selfish asshole.

“No. Actually, it’s not. The only thing driving me crazy right now is the amount of people who think it’s acceptable to tell him to hurry up and die when he is fighting for his life.” I growled, noticing that he returned his attention to me with a confused look that indicated a complete lack of understanding about my furious voice. “Seems like the Ark really did send down all of its worst people.” I added, clenching my jaw bitterly.

Murphy cleared his throat and shuffled his feet, seeming lost for words at my reaction. It was the first time that I’d been genuinely upset with him to a degree that he couldn’t sweet talk his way out of. Usually, he could make excuses to avoid an apology, or distract me until he could make up for his mistakes, but now everything that he said only made the situation worse.

“You including me in that category?” He asked, running his thumb along his bottom lip with a smouldering expression in a poor attempt to soften my attitude.

“That depends.” I breathed with a shrug, noticing that he tilted his head at me curiously. “Do you forget the name of everyone you claim to care about if they stop being useful? Or just those that you pretend to care about?”

“Come on, Cassie.” He chuckled in a nonchalant manner which felt entirely meaningless.

His lack of compassion was disappointing, but the flat response to my accusation that whatever relationship we had was artificial was absolutely hurtful. Hesitant to allow him to see that his unreasonable behaviour had upset me, I buried my pain. Instead, I felt myself channeling the mocking attitude that I often witnessed him using whenever someone found a sensitive point in him.

I held out the dagger to him wordlessly, ensuring that my expression was entirely controlled. He glanced down at it warily and seemed to take a few moments to decide whether to respond. His gaze slowly moved to my face, heavy with suspicion before he finally reached out to accept my offer.

Just as his fingers were about to make contact with the handle, I whipped my hand from his grasp. Raising the blade behind my head, I focused my aim on the tree. Thanks to the years of practice keeping my hands steady during delicate procedures, I could balance it with surgical accuracy. Releasing the dagger with a controlled flick, it tore through the air and embedded itself firmly within the bark.

Murphy flinched at the sudden movement and when I turned back to face him, he was staring at me with wide eyed shock.

“It’s all in the wrist. You’d think someone with your insane hunting skills would know that.” I drawled in a low voice, turning on my heel to leave him frozen to the spot.

Although my cutting remark had satisfied some of my temper, I didn’t feel ready to return to the main area of camp where I might be approached. Wandering into the overgrowth at the edge of camp, I decided to collect a fresh cutting of aloe vera to use on Jasper’s wound. Though I was doubtful that it Luckily, I stumbled across a small bushel of it rather quickly and I enjoyed the peace of being alone for a while before aiming for the dropship.

I hadn’t quite made it to the campfire when I noticed Zoey approaching me with a little girl at her side.

“Hey, Sage. My friend Charlotte needs your clever hands.” She announced, her hand on the child's shoulder as she encouraged her toward me.

It was the first time that I had registered such a small resident of our encampment. She couldn’t have been more than 12 years old and it seemed ridiculous to think of her as a criminal. I noticed a small cut on her forehead which seemed to be bothering her, but she managed it remarkably well. With a sigh, I directed them to some seats nearby where I could get a better look.

“I’m surprised you have time to keep an eye on anyone else with Octavia on your plate.” I muttered quietly as Charlotte nervously settled herself into place and Zoey chuckled.

“Hey. Just call me Mother Theresa.” She breathed, holding her hands up as if awaiting someone to revere her and I shook my head in amusement. “Honestly, I needed a break from watching her chasing boys. This morning I caught her trying to make eyeliner out of charcoal to impress Atom. That’s when I knew I’d hit my limit for being a supportive friend.” She added with a grimace, taking a seat beside Charlotte for comfort.

Something about her words resonated with me, pausing in place as I followed the little thread that she had prompted in my mind. I could practically feel the lightbulb above my head as a long forgotten memory popped back into existence. It was baffling that I hadn’t considered it before, but during a study session with the interns, Jackson had presented a case study on the uses of activated charcoal for wounds.

“Zoey. You’re a genius!” I gasped, staring at her with wide eyes and she shrugged as if this was not a revelation for her. “Here. Get started on cleaning it and I’ll be right out with some supplies when I’m done with Jasper.” I ordered as I handed her the aloe cutting and hurried away before she could object.

Ducking down to scoop a few pieces of charcoal into a pot I carried them toward the dropship with renewed enthusiasm. Even from outside I could hear Jasper’s screams increasing to a new level of agony and I climbed the ladder in a frantic state.

The room was bustling with people as I entered, all of which were engaged in a heated argument between the cries of pain that overwhelmed their words.

Wells appeared to be holding Jasper down as he squirmed, whilst Clarke was bent over him holding a dagger that glowed orange with heat. Finn wore a traumatised expression in the corner of the room, tears ran down Monty’s cheeks as he pleaded with Clarke to stop what she was doing to his friend and Octavia was already deep into a verbal attack.

“What the hell is going on?” I yelled as I stepped onto the top floor with disbelief, the sharpness of my voice causing them all to turn to face me.

“His blood pressure was exploding, breathing shallow and he wouldn’t stop screaming. I’m cutting back the infection, like you said.” Clarke gasped, glancing over her shoulder at me with terror in her eyes. “I’ve seen my mom do it before. I can do it.”

“And you didn’t think to call for help first?” I queried in disbelief as I practically fell forward in shock, my eyes widening at the badly inflamed wound.

“We thought we were going to lose him.” Finn interjected defensively, jumping to her aid as he did in every situation and I felt the last of my patience crumble. “Clarke did what she had to.” He elaborated, but I cut him off before he could crawl any further up her ass.

“Well the only thing she achieved is more pain and unnecessary damage.” I argued as I pushed people out of my way to kneel at Jasper’s side and dumped my supplies on the ground.

“There wasn’t any time.” Clarke stuttered nervously as I glowered at her over our unconscious friend. “I wanted to help.”

“You’ve helped enough!” I snapped, flooded with a confidence that was only accessible to me in times of medical emergencies, when there was no time for manners.

“You’re not a doctor, Clarke! You are an inexperienced scrub nurse at best and I’m just a trainee that didn’t even finish my studies. We can't afford to get things wrong with impulsive decisions and ruthless treatments. We only get one shot to save people and you just blew yours. Now, get away from my patient.” I scolded impatiently as I rolled up my sleeves to begin working on fixing her mistakes.

Clarke's face scrunched up into a clear display of hurt, but she didn’t argue as she slowly rose to her feet. I grabbed a bottle of water to clean my hands and grimaced at the state of Jasper’s chest. Regardless of her intentions, Clarke’s technique had been overly aggressive for such a sensitive injury. It was difficult to even imagine how painful it had been to endure, causing an ache of guilt in my chest for leaving him.

“Monty, I need some moonshine to sterilise the area. Wells, grab the aloe and some dressings from storage. Finn, I need clean water. There's a pot by the fire you can use to boil some.” I instructed, keeping my gaze firmly on Jasper as I checked his temperature and pulse. “Octavia, I’ll need an assistant. He’s calmer when you’re around. Think you can stomach it?” I asked as I glanced up at her to catch a surprised smile on her lips as she nodded.

People rushed out of the room to complete their assigned tasks, leaving only Clarke standing in the corner with a remorseful expression. Rather than waste time comforting her bruised ego, I focused on clearing the area of anything unnecessary to reduce the risk of any further contamination.

“I’m really sorry, Cassidy. I didn’t-” Clarke began, knitting her hands together anxiously, but I waved her off.

“Save it, Clarke. We can kiss and make up later. Right now, we’ve got work to do.” I stated abruptly, determined that I wouldn’t be distracted from the needs of my patient.

In little time at all, the others returned with my requested supplies and I organised them around Jasper so that the boys could step out of my work space. Pouring moonshine over mine and Octavia’s hands to ensure that we were clean, I noticed that hers trembled with nerves.

“Hey.” I whispered, prompting her to meet my eyes. “You’ve got this.” I asserted, flashing her a supportive smile before handing her the bottle to clean the wound.

Adding the water from Finn into the container with the crushed charcoal, I patiently stirred them together, hoping against all hope that this experiment would be successful. It wasn’t a method that I had ever actually seen used, meaning that I had to rely purely on theory, but at this point I was desperate enough to try anything. Noticing that my audience was watching in silent confusion, I decided to explain myself.

“The grounders used some kind of poultice on the area and it was working. Without knowing the ingredients I can’t recreate it, but I can do something similar.” I explained, tilting down the container for them to see the thick paste that had begun to form.

“The tiny grains that don’t dissolve will act like sandpaper, picking out anything in the wound that shouldn’t be there. Then, the paste will clean and absorb toxins, bacteria and any dead tissue. It's a gentler way of removing the infected areas. It won’t fix everything, but it's definitely a start.” I elaborated, noticing the surprise that spread through the group.

“Activated charcoal!” Monty breathed. “Of course. It’s a micro-sponge.” He clarified, studying me with an impressed expression and I nodded.

“You can thank Zoey for the inspiration.” I muttered, causing Octavia to raise her brows as if she wasn’t aware that her friend had this kind of knowledge.

“What the hell are you doing up here? Torturing him?”

Bellamy’s authoritative voice interrupted as his head popped through the hatch and I avoided looking at him in order to prevent another outburst. My focus might have allowed me to take control of this situation, but there was no amount of confidence in my own ability that would enable me to confront someone who was a threat to me.

Sensing that this could easily escalate, Wells sighed loudly before raising to his feet and blocking Bellamy from coming any closer.

“Back off.” He warned as he took his position standing guard over us, earning him an impatient expression from the camp leader.

Clarke caught my eye, immediately recognising that my comfortable attitude had rapidly disintegrated with his arrival. The change in my demeanour seemed to pull her from the moping that had previously consumed her. If anything, Bellamy’s interference had provided her a way to contribute to Jasper’s treatment and she turned to face Bellamy confidently.

“We didn’t drag him through miles of woods just to let him die.” She pointed out whilst I silently guided Octavia to apply a cold compress, then some aloe gel to the areas that had been burned by the blade.

“Kids a goner.” Bellamy asserted, prompting me to roll my eyes and tut under my breath in annoyance. “If you can’t see that, you’re deluded. He’s making people crazy.” He insisted as if it were obvious, making his allegiances to those who called out insults all too clear.

“Sorry if Jasper’s an inconvenience to you, but this isn’t the Ark. Down here, every life matters.” Clarke affirmed, somehow expressing the exact sentiment that I would have liked to say myself as Bellamy glanced between us all with exasperation.

“Take a look at him. He’s a lost cause.” He instructed, his voice dropping even lower as if he couldn’t believe that we had the audacity to argue with him.

Something about Bellamy caused an undeniable sense of distrust in my gut, churning in a way that it hadn’t since Cian. I hadn’t figured out exactly what about him was manufactured yet, as many of the traits that he openly displayed were already enough to provide a negative impression. However, I felt instinctively that something more sinister lay beneath the leader persona that he insisted on maintaining.

Meeting Octavia’s fearful eyes, I shook my head fervently to indicate that he was wrong about Jasper. I subtly glanced down at the bowl of charcoal to silently remind her that all hope was not yet lost. Sensing her gaze on me, I looked up to lock eyes with Clarke and without a single word spoken between us, we both agreed that we were willing to die on this hill if needed.

“Cassidy is a doctor. I’m a nurse. You’ll have to understand if we don’t take our medical advice from you.” Clarke jibed aggressively as she dug her heels in, refusing to be intimidated by him. “We have a plan and that doesn’t include giving up on Jasper. There’s still hope for him.” She contended, crossing her arms as an indication of her stubbornness that clearly irked him.

“This isn’t about hope, or education. It’s about guts. You don’t have the guts to make the hard choices. I do.” Bellamy declared, basking in his own self importance and I felt my hands trembling from the power of my outrage.

“He’s been like this for three days. If he’s not better by tomorrow, I’ll kill him myself.” He threatened, taking one last opportunity to fix each of us with a disapproving glare before he turned his attention to his sister.

“Octavia. Let’s go.” He ordered with an entitlement that would’ve caused me to scream in her shoes and I was pleased to notice that her jaw had clenched in anger.

“No.” She growled, her attitude forcing his shoulders to tense in a manner that indicated she had never spoken to him this way before. “I’m staying here to help Cassidy do the right thing.”

Octavia’s remark left Bellamy speechless as he stared at the back of her head in shock. For several moments, it seemed that he couldn’t decide how to respond to this display of rebellion until he finally climbed down the ladder, restoring a sense of peace in the small room. I nodded at Clarke to subtly indicate that she’d redeemed herself. Mentally, I made a note to express my gratitude for her protection once this mess was resolved.

“Power hungry, self serving jackass.” Monty spat as he marched over to drop himself at my side, waiting to be given a task that he could assist with. “He doesn’t care about anyone but himself.” He added bitterly, before his gaze landed on Octavia. “No offense.”

“Yeah. Bellamy is all that. But he also happens to be right.” Finn commented, causing me to shoot a stunned look at him over my shoulder. “You said yourself that this stuff wouldn’t solve the problem. We could be keeping him alive just so that he can suffer for longer.” He argued, careful to ensure that he justified his points in an effort to differentiate himself from Bellamy.

It took barely a few moments of debate for voices to raise and an argument to break out again, leaving me struggling to concentrate on the task at hand.

“Enough!” I exclaimed, furrowing my brows in annoyance as I addressed them.

“Unless any of you have something useful to contribute to our next step, you can butt horns outside. We still have work to do and your noise isn’t helping Jasper.” I scolded, growing impatient with their drama and after appearing incredibly sorry for themselves, they quietly made their way out of the dropship to undoubtedly continue their conversation.

Only Octavia, Monty and I remained in the room as I carefully applied the thick paste to the area whilst they watched. Their observation gave me the sensation of having students, as if I’d stepped into the shoes of the doctors who used to teach myself and the other interns. It was a strange feeling and certainly not something that I had expected to experience for many years, if ever, but I was glad to find that there were others who were interested in learning to help others, even if it was simply because of their love for Jasper.

Once I’d spread it generously across the spear wound on Jasper’s chest, I covered it with dressings to keep it in place and silently prayed that it would buy us enough time to form another plan.

“Don’t worry. We’re not going to let anyone hurt him.” I stated in an effort to reassure the nervous pair, but they seemed unconvinced. “I’m a doctor. I know how to get rid of people and make it look like an accident.” I added, my tone emerging more serious than intended as they both stared at me in shock.

“That was a joke. Albeit a bad one. Sorry.” I clarified with a sheepish smile, embarrassed at my consistent social blunders.

After a few minutes of tense silence, they began to awkwardly chuckle, gradually growing until we were all laughing uncontrollably. For the first time since Jasper was taken, things felt almost normal.

☓ ღ ➵ ღ ☓

“Did they hurt him?” I whispered fearfully, my heart breaking at the idea that harm might have come to my friend and Murphy cleared his throat in silent confirmation.

Focusing on his injuries to distract from the insanity of what he had just revealed, I strained to keep my mind from wandering. Murphy seemed regretful that he’d told me in such an insensitive manner as he watched me work and I gulped down my anxiety as Jasper’s bright face filled my mind.

“I’m sorry. He’s a friend of yours, right?” He asked carefully and I nodded, unable to find the words to describe our relationship.

Though I wasn’t especially close to the boys, they’d always been patient and kind to me. It was no secret that I wasn’t the most popular person on the Ark. My silence had left me as an outcast long before my arrest, but Jasper and Monty didn’t care much for the opinions of others. They’d taken the time to form their own opinion of me and as a result, given me the first experience of friendship that I’d had.

I held the damp cloth over Murphy’s lip for a few moments in an effort to stem the bleeding. Once it seemed to have stopped, I brushed over the area with my fingertips to get an idea of how deep the cut was and he smiled slightly, leaning his face closer to mine.

“You know, I think it would help if you kissed it better.” He muttered with a wink and I rolled my eyes at him.

“I’m sure you do.” I purred, before moving my attention to his eyebrow and though he wasn’t surprised that this tactic had failed, I could tell that he was disappointed nonetheless.

“You know, when I told you about the radiation earlier, I didn’t mean that you should start hurting people.” I remarked delicately once I had finished treating him and he sighed as if he didn’t want to discuss this with me.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need your help.”

A small voice called from behind and I glanced over my shoulder to find the girl from earlier standing nervously nearby. She kept glancing behind her, as if keeping an eye on someone whilst she waited and as I tried to open my mouth, Murphy butted in.

“She’s busy, bitch.” He spat, thinning his eyes at her aggressively and I glanced back at him with sharp disapproval, before I returned my attention to her.

“I’ll be with you as soon as I’m done with him.” I answered gently and she flashed me a grateful smile, before she rushed back toward camp.

When I turned back to face Murphy, he seemed put out by my pleasant interaction with the girl and I felt myself becoming frustrated with his cruel behaviour. Thus far, I’d managed to remain relatively calm with him following the injuries that he’d caused her and as he continued to bully, I felt my patience running out.

“Why are you such an ass to her?” I snapped in annoyance, unable to understand the reasoning for his behaviour and he seemed confused by my question.

“Do you not realise who she is?” He suggested in a disbelieving tone and I shrugged at him, purposefully ignorant of any of the camp politics.

“She’s Pike’s kid.” He stated, the words themselves sounding disdainful as they left his lips and I stiffened at the name.

It was a name that I remembered well from my already stressful days in the classroom. Fortunately, I hadn’t been assigned to him for many of my classes, but each time that I was, my distaste for him grew. He had a strangely glowing reputation amongst the adults of Farm Station, but the members of the teenage population that weren’t in his pocket, such as myself, knew him better. In all honesty, getting away from him was one of the largest benefits of my early graduation and admittance to the intern programme in Medical.

“Ah, Pike. The teacher with the attitude problem. Farm station’s best and brightest.” I remarked quietly and he smirked slightly at this.

“Shit. Well, that’s not her fault. You know as well as I do how much bad parents fuck you up.” I remarked with a grimace, as I imagined how awful it must have been to grow up with a man as manipulative as him and he scoffed in aggravation. “Seriously, was burning her not enough for you?” I groaned, displaying my disapproval for his grudge and his face grew dark at my attitude.

“You remember our last Earth Skills class in lockup? When I had to get treated by the nurse?” He recalled aggressively and I hummed.

We’d been assigned to separate classes and although the experience had been tense for my group, it was mostly uneventful. Pike seemed frustrated at the lack of interest of his students, but no matter what tactics he tried in each session, he was unable to motivate us. By the last class, he seemed ready to explode and I got the impression that he was relieved to be rid of us.

“That was because of Pike. He locked us in the classroom and beat the hell out of me, Cassie. I’m pretty sure he’d have killed me if Jasper and the others hadn’t jumped him.” He revealed, anger pulsing through him and I felt my brows jump up in surprise.

I had long wondered what happened to him that day, but assumed that he had simply prompted yet another fight with one of the other inmates and didn’t push him to talk about it. As part of Murphy’s nature, I knew that convincing anything from him that he didn’t want to reveal was an almost impossible task.

As I considered this information, I could easily imagine that Pike would do something this extreme, especially after his lack of success with our group. It angered me that he had abused his power in this way and I could almost guarantee that he had received no punishment for his actions.

A deep sigh escaped me at the injustice of what was one our home and instead, my mind focused on a single detail of his recollection.

“Sounds like you owe Jasper a lot.” I commented idly and he met my eyes with evident confusion, as if this had never occurred to him before.

“And Murph, cut Pike’s kid some slack. She’s probably had a rough enough life with that man as a dad.” I pointed out, sympathising with her situation now that she was trapped with many of the kids that hated her father and he scowled at this request.

“You want me to be buddies with that bitch? Her dad almost killed me!” He growled as he viewed me with disbelief and I shook my head at him with a slight smile.

“No. Just leave her alone.” I clarified and he cursed under his breath. “Come on. Do it for me.” I whispered as I traced my fingers along his knuckles and he thinned his eyes at me, taking a few moments to consider his options.

Sometimes I wondered exactly what was happening inside his head, as I watched the cogs turning inside. I understood that his childhood trauma had resulted in a deep distrust for people and the tendency to hold grudges, but underneath all of that, I truly believed that he wasn’t a bad person. Most of his bullying behaviour toward her was likely knee jerk reactions and I hoped that by reasoning with him, he might realise how unfair it was.

“Fine. You’re lucky that you’re hot.” He conceded as he pouted at me and I smiled at the ridiculousness of his reasoning.

“Thank you.” I breezed with a smile and his expression finally softened slightly. “But I hope you have more of a reason than that.” I added with a single brow raised at him.

“You’re...really hot?” He suggested with a playful wink and I thinned my eyes. “Come on, Cas. You know I like the whole package, not just the wrapping.”

“Cute, but I’m not a possession. You should really learn some manners.” I commented as I thinned my eyes at him and something in his expression told me that he was doing this on purpose.

“You trying to make me soft?” He sneered as he leaned closer into my space and I rolled my eyes, tired of trying to straighten him out for one day.

“Alright. It doesn’t look like you need any stitches.” I confirmed as I began to pack away the small kit that I’d assembled to treat him and he seemed relieved. “Just try not to get into any more fights before you’ve healed. Wouldn’t wanna damage this face.” I teased, placing a featherlight punch on his jaw and he smirked at me.

“You’re gonna make me work for it, aren’t you?” He drawled as he fidgeted his lips slightly as if already considering kissing me and I simply smiled bashfully in return. “Alright, Sunshine. I can play your game.”

Pike’s daughter waited just out of sight for me and seemed pleased when I approached. I followed her toward the main section of camp, where there seemed to be a flurry of activity following the return of the missing group and felt a knot forming in my stomach as she walked right toward Bellamy.

His sister Octavia sat with her leg propped up, whilst he fretted over her and I cursed my own kindness for not thinking to check who was hurt before I allowed myself to be led here. Bellamy glanced up in confusion as I approached and the girl immediately kneeled at Octavia’s side with a sense of familiarity.

“Why are you bringing her over?” Bellamy groaned as he straightened up to view me with disbelief and I paused awkwardly, uncertain whether to ignore him, or make my escape whilst the girl who had brought me here was distracted.

“Because she knows what she’s doing.” She argued as she glanced up at Bellamy in annoyance, before gesturing for me to approach and he crossed his arms in a huff.

“I’m Zoey and this is my friend Octavia. She said that something attacked her in the water and left her with a nasty bite.” Zoey explained as she made a show of actively ignoring Bellamy and I kneeled in front of Octavia to carefully assess her.

Zoey peeled back the trousers to reveal three large gashes in her friend’s thigh and I grimaced at the sight of it. The wounds appeared to be quite deep and it was clear that the walk home had only caused further inflammation of the area.

I reached out to examine the damage and Octavia flinched away from me nervously.

“It’s okay, O. You can trust her.” Zoey soothed, but my patient continued to regard me with a sceptical expression. “This is Cassidy. She used to work in Medical on the Ark. She’s treated me before.”

My gut lurched at Zoey’s words, painfully aware that any hopes of keeping this information had just been dashed and I could practically feel Bellamy’s shock at this revelation. Though I understood that her intentions were good, I resented Zoey slightly for exposing me and attempted to focus on the task at hand, rather than spiralling into panic.

Carefully, I ensured that the wounds were as clean as possible to allow me a full assessment of the severity. The skin surrounding the lacerations was red and infection was already becoming a risk if we didn’t intervene quickly.

“Well, doc. How bad is it? Am I gonna need stitches?” Octavia asked fearfully, clearly nervous at the idea of this and I nodded in confirmation.

Considering that we had no anaesthetic or pain relief on hand, Octavia was surprisingly brave and I could tell from the way that Zoey gripped her hand that they shared a close friendship.

Bellamy remained nearby, standing over me to watch every action protectively and though I was limited by the supplies available, I felt confident in my work.

“I didn’t get a chance to thank you before.” Zoey remarked whilst I stitched and I maintained my focus to avoid any anxiety working it’s way into my mind.

“I really appreciate you helping me, even though it put you in a tough position with your friend.” She added, flashing a grateful smile at me and I hummed in response.

Once I’d finished stitching, I gave the wound another clean for good measure and covered it as best as I could. The moment that I removed my grip on her thigh, Octavia was on her feet and involved in an argument with her brother, so I quickly repacked my things to move on before I could be caught with them.

“I know that she's a pain, but I know that she’s grateful too. Thank you.” Zoey commented with a warm smile, as if she were used to Octavia’s antics and I smiled in return.

“You’re welcome.” I muttered just quietly enough for only her to hear, before rushing away from them.

Though I’d intended to spend some time alone to plan how I would manage the threat of Bellamy discovering my skills, I was almost immediately distracted from this course of action by the sight of Clarke’s bright blonde locks as she stormed through camp.

After spending the entire night worried about her whereabouts, I found myself walking towards her to check that she was alright and as I approached, I noticed that she seemed upset.

“Hey.” I called as I stepped into her path and she paused on the spot, regarding me with a tearful expression. “You look like you need a friend.” I suggested gently, prompting her to nod in confirmation, but before she could manage a single word, the boy that I’d heard others refer to as space walker rushed after her.

“Come on, Princess.” He called in an attempt to get her attention and the distress on her face intensified as she stormed toward the dropship.

Her pursuer paused as he reached me, watching her leave with confusion and it was clear from the guilt in his eyes that he knew he was the cause of the state she was in. He glanced over at me, shuffling awkwardly on the spot as if he was unsure on what to do next and I crossed my arms at him.

“She has a name. You should try calling her by it.” I scolded, feeling frustrated by the attitude that Clarke was being treated with in camp and he grimaced in embarrassment.

I entered the dropship in search of Clarke and found her in the top floor, assembling a pack. Her movements radiated aggravation and I recognised that she was battling to keep herself from crumbling to anxiety.

As I’d dealt with similar emotions many times, I closed the hatch behind me and cleared my throat as I entered.

Clarke whipped around to view me with alarm and once she realised it was me, released a sigh of relief.

“Oh, Cassidy. Thank god.” She breathed as she returned to her task and I found a spot on the floor to make myself comfortable, expecting that I might be here for a while.

“Clarke. Stop it.” I instructed quietly, watching her jagged movements as she continued packing and it took a few more seconds before she eventually accepted defeat.

Several moments of tense silence passed, whilst she held her head in her hands and I waited patiently for her to be ready to speak. Gradually, she shifted around to view me and I smiled supportively at her.

“Everything is scary.” She whispered in a strained voice, as if the words had burst out against her will and I gave a slight nod in agreement.

“There’s not supposed to be people here, but there are and they’re hunting us! I couldn’t stop them from taking Jasper, or even get anyone in camp to take this seriously. People are taking off their wristbands, and Wells is here, and I don’t know how to manage it all!” She rambled as she paced back and forth in an effort to channel the stressful energy within her and I watched her sympathetically.

“You don’t have to.” I offered cautiously, unsure of what else I could advise when I completely understood how senseless anxiety could be and she sighed as she paused on the spot.

“Did you know that it was Wells who turned my father in?” She muttered regretfully, already starting to pack again to avoid seeing my reaction and I observed her with obvious shock. “I trusted him. I told him what my father knew so that he could help me and instead, he told the Chancellor and my dad was floated.” She divulged, angrily wiping away her tears as she threw items into the bag.

“I’m sorry.” I breathed, feeling as if my words were entirely insufficient and she seemed lost to her thoughts.

“Cian set me up. He’s the reason that I got arrested. If I hadn’t spent so long being naive and protecting him, I could still be on the Ark with my dad. If Cian was here now, I don’t know what I’d do. I can’t imagine how you feel with Wells here.” I revealed nervously, offering the only proof of understanding that I could and she finally glanced up at me with a pitying expression.

“I’m sorry, too.” She expressed as she considered our similar circumstances and I nodded slowly.

“Some pair we are.” She remarked with a weak smile and I chuckled lightly. “Thank you for this. I think I just needed a minute to feel it all.”

“You’re only human, Clarke. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.” I advised as I reflected on the strong persona that she’d constantly maintained since we arrived and she nodded thoughtfully, but I could tell that my words hadn’t weakened her resolve.

“You’re right. Someone has to rescue Jasper, though.” She sighed and I glanced up at her in surprise. “I came back to get reinforcements. I know that he’s your friend, but you should stay here. We’re going to need your skills.” She explained confidently, seeming recharged by our conversation and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I was too afraid to volunteer for the mission anyway.

“Be careful.”

☓ ღ ➵ ღ ☓

Whilst the camp was busy assembling a rescue party, which proved difficult due to a lack of volunteers, I attempted to anticipate what supplies I might need for Jasper when they returned with him. From Clarke’s description, it sounded as if we were soon to be fighting some serious injuries and though I wanted to remain hopeful for my friend, I couldn’t help a feeling of dread which settled in my chest.

Settling on a log in a quieter part of camp, I had begun tearing varying sizes of fabric to allow for a plentiful supply of bandages. The task kept me focused enough to prevent my mind from being lost to anxiety, but I was soon distracted when a group of guys began a loud conversation nearby.

“She doesn’t speak.”

“I heard she was going off when they loaded us into the dropship. Full straight jacket behaviour.”

“Shit, man. You think she cracked?”

“What a waste. She’s hot.”

I gulped nervously, keeping my eyes keenly trained on my shaking hands and I could feel their predatory gaze on me. Footsteps nearby alerted me to the fact that they were creeping closer and before I had the chance to consider my options, I automatically bolted to standing.

With my head firmly down, I carefully strolled back toward the main hub of camp, whilst pretending that I couldn’t hear them, but I barely managed a few steps before they blocked my path.

“Hey, Beetlejuice.” The ring leader addressed me with an insult that had long outgrown it’s welcome thanks to my hair colour and I rolled my eyes at the lack of originality.

“Do the curtains match the drapes?” He drawled, sending sniggers through his audience and I refused to acknowledge them as I stepped to the side to pass them.

“Where are you going, girl? We’re having fun, aren’t we?”

Another stepped out of the crowd to halt me and my heart skipped a beat as I realised that I was in trouble.

When I glanced up, three sets of eyes stared down at me as if I were a small, vulnerable creature caught in their trap and my legs trembled at the thought. Regretting that I had chosen to isolate myself out here, my mind raced to produce an escape plan and from the threatening expressions of the men before me, I could tell that their intentions were far from good.

“Come on, baby-”

Before the leading miscreant could even finish his sentence, he dropped to the ground and it took a few moments for me to realise that Murphy was pounding his face in with pure anger. The two friends attempted to push back his attacker, but Murphy took them to the ground quickly, then immediately returned to beating the first offender to a pulp.

“Murphy, stop! That’s enough.” I called as I placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him, but he simply shook me off to continue to pound into his target.

There was a certain wildness about him that I hadn’t seen before, something that had never been present in any of the other fights I’d witnessed. It was as if he were protecting something precious, something that could not be replaced and I was surprised to find that he would behave in such a manner for me.

“You’ll kill him!” I pleaded as I tugged harder at his jacket, desperate to keep him from causing trouble for himself and he sat back slightly, panting with a mixture of rage and exertion.

“He’s fucking lucky that I didn’t!” He yelled as he struggled to his feet and I positioned myself between him and the others in an effort to prevent him from launching into another round of attacks.

“Anyone else have anything to say about her?” He spat as he pointed to the two remaining guys, who still seemed disorientated from his sudden ambush, but they quickly held up their hands and shook their heads in surrender anyway.

“Good. Cause next time I won’t fucking stop.” He threatened, the fury that poured off him suitably terrifying the group and as I attempted to lift the ring leader to his feet, I noticed that there was barely an inch of his face that wasn’t covered in blood.

“You do realise that you’re just making more work for me?” I remarked at Murphy over my shoulder as I surveyed the damage that he’d caused and my patient struggled away from me in a fluster, despite his barely conscious condition.

“He doesn’t deserve your help.” Murphy growled, before pulling me back to my feet and stepping in front of me protectively. “Tell him to rub some dirt in it.” He spat dismissively at the boys, maintaining his grip on my arm as he marched us away and I stared at him in disbelief.

“They’re just assholes.” I groaned as he led me to a secluded area where he could check me over. “You can’t just beat up everyone who is mean to me, Murph.” I asserted as I viewed him and he tutted at me impatiently.

“And you can’t let people walk all over you, again.” He lectured, his brows furrowing together in concern and I crossed my arms with a defensive huff. Though I understood his viewpoint, I couldn’t help feeling that his comment was unfair.

“I wasn’t.” I argued, whilst he raised a single brow at me in doubt. “They just weren’t worth the drama. They wanted attention, so I wouldn’t give it to them.”

“You can’t afford to be naive, Cassie. There are dangerous people here. Trust me, they wanted a lot more than just your attention.” He pointed out, seeming as if the very thought of this was riling him up again and I guided him over to my newly laid out supplies.

It was a frightening thought to consider what the group's intentions might have been, but I had to admit that Murphy’s certainty over the threat to my safety caused a chill to run down my spine.

“I only cleaned you up this morning. “ I muttered as I took his hands in mine and rinsed the blood off his knuckles for the second time today.

“I’m pretty sure that I told you no more fights at the time, you nuisance.” I added in a slightly lighter tone, as I glanced up at him and instead of looking apologetic, he simply smiled.

“What can I say, you’re worth it.” He drawled in his best attempt at being charming and I chuckled slightly under my breath. “Besides, I’m still working on that kiss. They’re an important part of healing, you know.” He sneered and I rolled my eyes at his relentlessness.

Though I despised seeing him hurt, I was grateful for his timely intervention. I didn’t want to admit it for fear that I would only set his temper off again, but I had been frightened. All of the coping mechanisms that I had relied upon before seemed to be failing me and I worried that silence might no longer be my wisest option.

Murphy studied my face the entire time that I worked and I found that I gradually became calmer whilst in his company. There was something about having him near that settled my anxieties. I couldn't put my finger on the cause, but was grateful for it regardless.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier, about owing Jasper.” Murphy remarked in a casual tone and I peered up at him with interest. “I’m gonna join the rescue party. You should come with me.” He suggested, shocking me at the selfless nature of this choice which seemed to have been prompted by my own concern for my friend.

“I can’t do that.” I blurted as nerves overtook my words and he frowned in confusion. “I just want to keep my head down here.” I muttered awkwardly as I concentrated on his hands and he sighed.

“I don’t like the idea of leaving you alone in camp, Sunshine.” He admitted, earning a slight smile of appreciation from me.

“Come on. It might do you some good to establish yourself here. Show them that you can get stuff done and defend yourself.” He advised, making it clear that he’d already been thinking about my social standing within the camp and I found myself shifting in my seat with discomfort.

“I’ll be fine. I honestly just want to blend into the background.” I explained as he thinned his eyes at me suspiciously. “I don’t want to get into trouble here.” I confessed quietly and we lapsed into silence as he considered my answer.

The cuts on his knuckles were growing deeper and I worried that he would cause himself some serious damage if he didn’t slow down. I made an effort to dress them as best I could, counting my blessings that he’d somehow managed to avoid receiving any additional hits to the face in this latest scuffle.

Once I was done, he stood to search in his pockets, before presenting me with a small, simply made dagger.

“Here.” He muttered as he encouraged me to take the gift. “If you want to stay, I’ll respect that. Our crew can be intimidating and I get why you might not think that they’re good for you.” He explained as he pushed the dagger towards me insistently and I gripped the weapon fearfully.

“You need to find a way of asserting yourself, because if you don’t, these fucking animals will eat you alive.” He insisted, concern evident in his eyes and I nodded with uncertainty in response.

Anxiety pooled in my chest as I watched him and Bellamy leaving camp and his words repeated in my mind as I realised that my survival may depend on my ability to change, something that I’d always been resistant to.

☓ ღ ➵ ღ ☓

A wave of relief washed over me as I narrowly avoided this outcome and discovered that both my jacket and jumper were almost completely drenched still. I tucked them under my arm and delicately climbed out of the tent.

Stepping outside, I was immediately basked in glorious sunshine and it was clear that yesterday’s storm had allowed the air to return to it’s previous warmth.

Now that the rain had stopped, I found somewhere to hang my extra layers to dry and took advantage of the quietness of camp. It seemed that everyone had finally run out of energy from their initial celebrations and I enjoyed the peace of the surrounding nature with more appreciation whilst alone.

Deciding to make the most of the time, I began checking the area around our territory for any signs of damage from the storm and found myself worrying for the group that had not returned, hoping that they had managed to find some shelter too. 

I wandered over to the tarp that I had set up to find it filled with water, but unfortunately, most of the containers that we’d hurried to place had been blown over before they could be of any use. However, I remembered being taught that water would evaporate faster in hot temperature and busied myself with emptying what we had into the containers, sealing them with a fabric cover and tying them in place.

“You look busy.”

A voice announced with amusement and I struggled not to spill any of the precious fluid as I startled in response. I’d been so heavily focused on my task that I completely failed to notice Bellamy’s approach and wished that I’d had enough warning to escape before he spoke to me.

As we made eye contact, he smiled confidently and I realised that he was shirtless moments before he slipped on the t-shirt that he’d been carrying. I couldn’t help feeling that this display of his body was somewhat purposeful, though I was unsure exactly whose benefit it was for, as I felt little more than discomfort in response.

Feeling awkward, I quickly returned my attention to storing the rain water so that I could avoid meeting his eyes again and in my peripheral vision, I saw him carefully lean against a tree to study me.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He apologised, the charisma in his voice causing me to stiffen rather than relax and I could tell that he fully expected to be able to charm me, just as he had everyone else.

Since Cian, I was consistently guarded against people with this attitude and decided that from now on that I would remain quiet around Bellamy. I knew from my previous experiences that anything I said could be weaponized against me and hoped that if I were simply silent, he would be discouraged from attempting to speak to me again. 

“We haven’t actually met yet. I’m Bellamy.” He clarified with a smile, his posture revealing that he was expecting a response and I felt myself becoming stressed by his gaze.

“Okay. Not the talkative type, huh?” He commented, seeming only more interested in me, rather than annoyed by my attitude and I was distressed that he seemed so determined to interact with me.

“I like your ink.” He complimented, pointing at the tattoos that were actually on display for once and I shrugged awkwardly, feeling exposed without my jumper to hide behind. “It’s surprising to see so much artwork on someone so timid.”

At this point, I truly couldn’t imagine what he could want from me and despite my best efforts to make it clear that I was preoccupied, he observed me as if I were a mystery that he was excited to unravel. 

He chuckled slightly to himself, shaking his head as he considered his next tactic and I wished that anyone else would interrupt so that I could escape.

“You seem like you’re still trying to figure out if you trust me.” He announced, a curious expression crossing his features as I risked peeking up at him, only to immediately regret it and return my attention to the task at hand. 

“I guess that’s fair enough. Spend enough time locked up and you’ll stop being friendly. Wish my sister had inherited the same trait.” He rambled with an amused lilt to his voice and I busied myself with counting up the containers to calculate how long this would last.

“You know, most of your inmate friends have embraced their freedom. They’re having fun and here you are, being logical.” He analysed, smirking slightly at my attempts to focus and I glanced at him with irritation. 

There was no denying that Bellamy and Murphy had at least one thing in common; they were both exceptionally talented at being a distraction. Having decided that I was tired of listening to his small talk, I began to gather up as many of the containers as I could carry to take to the dropship for safekeeping and once I was standing, Bellamy seized his opportunity to move into my space.

“Maybe you should try cutting loose.” He suggested, posturing himself in a way that he must have believed was alluring and I simply stared back at him with a baffled expression.

“You never know. You might enjoy yourself.” He drawled, biting his lip as his eyes roamed my body and I grimaced as it finally struck me what he was trying to initiate.

My feet couldn’t carry me quickly enough as I rushed away, hardly able to comprehend the idea that this behaviour would be attractive to anyone. Bellamy absolutely intimidated me and though I was sure that played a large part in why his charm was ineffective on me, I also knew that his similarity to Cian was my biggest criticism. Whenever he spoke, I could sense that it was only motivated by his desire to obtain something and I had no intention of ever being manipulated in that manner again.

I carefully stored some of the water out of sight for emergency rations, before leaving other containers around for people to help themselves when they realised that they still had basic needs, despite their newfound freedom.

Though it was ridiculous to consider, I worried that leaving the remaining containers unguarded near the tarp would result in sabotage and reluctantly began to make my way back toward it, hoping desperately that Bellamy had moved on in my absence. 

As I neared, I found that the area was empty and sighed in relief as I kneeled down to gather the jars into my arms.

“Don’t take it personally.” Mbege announced in a hushed manner from between the trees and though I was startled, I carefully ensured that I didn’t make any noise that might attract attention to me. “She’s basically mute.”

“Murphy seems to think otherwise.” Bellamy answered frustratedly, his tone revealing just how offended he was that I’d dared to deny him and I rolled my eyes at his arrogance. “Apparently she’s valuable.” He repeated in confusion and I found myself wishing that Murphy had never defended me, as he seemed to have only stoked Bellamy’s interest.

“Man, trust me. You don’t want to go down that rabbit hole. Murphy’s been totally lost to her since they met.” Mbege groaned, clearly feeling as if he’d been abandoned as a result of our new friendship. “I’ve been trying to figure it out for months. I don’t know what he could want from a silent chick. Believe me, you won’t gain anything but lost time with that one.”

Feeling as if I’d already heard more than enough, I took the opportunity to creep away before they noticed that I was eavesdropping. A shiver ran down my spine at the way that Bellamy seemed to want to claim me because of my possible value and I couldn’t help wondering how Murphy viewed me by comparison.

Most of the camp was still sleeping as I snuck between them to place jars of water around and knew that this would allow me to avoid unnecessary conversations later, when they realised that they were thirsty. 

I stepped into a room at the back of the dropship in a dazed state, deeply involved in my own self reflection and didn’t notice that it was already occupied by a couple of naked teenagers until far too late.

The unfamiliar pair were pressed up against the wall, clearly lost in the moment of passion as they didn’t even seem to notice my presence and I cursed under my breath as I stumbled back out with a deep blush on my cheeks. I dumped the last container of water on the nearest surface and rushed back outside, continuing to walk toward the woods until I felt that I was far enough away from our sordid camp to catch my breath.

Climbing my way onto a nearby boulder, I sat with my head in my hands and allowed myself a chance to recover from what I’d just seen. It felt like everyone in this camp was entirely focused on sex and nothing else, whilst I was worried about remaining alive. I’d never felt so completely alone, even after my time in a cell and my heart longed to return to the simple days that my dad and I would spend reading books and sketching.

“Morning, Sunshine.”

A familiar voice called from behind and although I raised my head, I didn’t turn to face him. 

Murphy approached me at a relaxed pace, pausing to take an indulgent stretch in the sunshine and then clambered onto the boulder beside me, shuffling to get comfortable.

“You skipped out on me pretty early. I woke up all cold and alone.” He remarked in a playful tone and out of the corner of my eye, I could feel him surveying me. “Was it something I said?” He asked cheekily, clearly amused with himself and I released a long sigh.

“I just wanted a chance to enjoy the morning.” I answered quietly, fiddling with my wristband thoughtfully and he tilted his head at me in confusion.

“And that’s why you’re hiding all the way out here, by yourself?” He interrogated, thinning his eyes at me and I found myself staring out into the trees, reflecting on my emotions. “You’re one of those morning people, aren’t you? Get up and start the day as soon as possible. Can’t say that I’m surprised.”

“I’m out here because everywhere else is occupied with people fucking.” I breathed bitterly, allowing some of my frustration to show and fiddling with my hands.

It wasn’t uncommon for me to feel out of place amongst people, especially those my age, but it was especially profound without the structure of the Ark. Despite having rather lax views on intimacy amongst our people, I had always been careful about the idea of trusting someone enough and couldn’t imagine indulging in the same behaviour as my peers. 

Every comment made about me refraining only furthered the feeling that there was something wrong with me and I was tired of feeling that I was the one with the issue, when in my mind it was obvious that there should be other concerns on their minds. I made a small, frustrated sound as I considered this and Murphy raised his brows in surprise at my blunt wording. 

“Well, if that’s the problem, you should have just said so! If you can’t beat them, might as well join them. I happen to know a little tent that’s available-” Murphy teased confidently, but I flashed him an unimpressed glare that stopped him in his tracks. 

“Not the type to just hook up, huh?” He suggested with a smirk and I huffed quietly. “That suits you.” He remarked in satisfaction, as if especially pleased that he had learned something new about me and I rolled my eyes at him. 

A few moments of silence passed between us and my gaze gradually roamed up to the sky, wishing that I could catch a glimpse of our home. My heart felt conflicted between the freedom that landing here had granted and my connection to my father. No matter how hard I tried to focus on the present, my thoughts continually drifted to him and I couldn’t help wondering whether he was safe.

“What do you think is happening up there, now that we’re on the ground?” I asked wistfully as I stared up at the sky and at my question, Murphy slowly looked up too, his gaze far more aggressive than mine.

“I don’t know. Probably planning how they’re going to come down and take over.” He muttered, squirming with annoyance, before his gaze fell on my wristband and he sighed as if preparing himself for something difficult.

“I’m not going to let Bellamy force you to take your wristband off, but you need to really think about whether you want the Ark to bring their bullshit here. I mean, we’re talking about the same people who locked you up and starved you.” He appealed, his expression growing dark even at the thought of this and I had to admit that this point got under my skin.

“I know. I’m not doing it for them though.” I clarified and he tilted his head curiously. “If they know that we’re alive, then maybe they’ll send my old man down?” I suggested, revealing my hope with a nervousness fluttering in my stomach and he scoffed at me in disbelief.

“You and I both know that it won't be people like us that come down here, Cassie.” He declared, his hatred for the Ark filling his voice with venom and I fiddled with my clothes to occupy my anxious mind. “It’ll be guards and council members. Later on, workers.” He theorised and though I knew that this was a realistic view, it still felt disheartening.

“You said that your dad is sick, right? Do you really think that they will even bother sending down people that they consider a drain on resources? You know that’s how they’ll choose.” He questioned, tearing apart the fantasy reunion that I still hoped for and I stared at him with watery eyes, knowing that he was likely correct.

“The safest thing for your dad is for the Ark to believe that we’re dying. The only way for that to happen is if we all take off our wristbands.” He added convincingly and I fidgeted on the spot, feeling pressured by his insight. “Take some time to think about it. You need to decide who you trust to put you first, the Ark or me.”

“You realise that the way you’re doing it won’t look like radiation, right?” I remarked, addressing the immediate flaw in their plan that I was shocked they hadn’t noticed and he furrowed his brows at me. 

“By now, they know that the atmosphere wasn’t bad enough for us to die on impact. If we were actually dying from prolonged exposure, we wouldn’t just drop dead without warning. They would see spikes in our vitals. Breathing difficulties, fever, increased heart rate. There would be visual representations of our symptoms.” I explained, considering the signs that Abby and the medical team would be monitoring for and he seemed interested by my opinion.

“Murphy!”

The camp appeared to be coming to life behind us as someone called out to him and I turned to spot Mbege and Bellamy searching for him in the distance. He glanced back with disinterest, before sighing and I quickly got to my feet.

“I’m gonna make myself scarce before I get caught up with them.” I hissed, catching a quick glimpse of Murphy’s confusion before I parted from him and navigated around the edge of the camp to ensure that I re-entered at a quieter point.

The familiar chaos had returned now that everyone was rested and as private spaces became difficult to find, people had taken to making out in the grass. I shuffled past them with disgust as I grabbed some water from one of my stash points and set out in search of Wells.

Despite my reluctance to befriend him, I worried for his safety amongst the others and wanted to ensure that he was given equal access to supplies without their interference. Though I couldn’t watch him at all times, I suspected that they were likely making his life difficult out of sight and knew that I could at least help in ways that wouldn’t draw attention.

After traumatising myself by checking the whole of camp with no success, I headed further out into the trees and eventually found him in a secluded clearing. As I approached, I realised that he was digging and my gaze fell on two rolled up bodies that I assumed were the boys who died in the landing.

Wells jumped as he heard my footsteps and only relaxed when he recognised me. I held out the water with a shy smile and he took it with an appreciative nod. Noticing that he had a second shovel, I silently picked it up and got to work on a grave for the second body to save him from the strain of doing both alone.

“You don’t have to help me.” He remarked once he’d finished taking a swig of the water and I simply continued digging.

After a few moments of rest, Wells returned to the grave that he had already begun digging and we worked in silence. Though it was hard work, I was glad to be able to lay these boys to rest and found myself feeling appreciative that Wells was with us, even if only so that I knew I would be buried if anything happened to me. 

It was a morbid thought, but I couldn’t help being doubtful whether anyone other than Murphy would care if I died and I was unsure if he could put aside his reckless nature to care for me.

Wells and I were kept busy for a while with burying our fallen inmates and once done, I assisted to mark their graves as best we could. As we laid out markers, I realised that I didn’t even know their names and the fear struck me that under current circumstances, I would likely also be nameless to most.

I remained lost in my thoughts as we strolled back to camp and only pulled myself back to reality when I was almost knocked off my feet by a group of boys barrelling past, resulting in Wells catching me before I could hit the ground. Things were even more chaotic than when we’d last been here and I stared around in disbelief, whilst he moved on in search of somewhere to store the supplies from the bodies.

In the background, I overheard Atom causing trouble as he and Wells argued about the distribution of the items and I turned with a feeling of dread as Bellamy’s voice broke them up. 

“You still don’t get it. Do you, Chancellor?” He suggested, strolling out of the dropship shirtless, just as he had approached me earlier.

The curtains parted behind him as a girl followed, wearing a skimpy top that revealed her flat stomach and strutting with a smug confidence, as if she had just been blessed with a rare treat. She paused beside Bellamy to make a show of kissing him, before strolling off pouting and I cringed at this ridiculous display. Though there had already been a problem with revealing outfits in lockup, people seemed to only be growing more shameless by the day here.

“This is home now.” Bellamy announced with satisfaction, sneaking a brief look in my direction as if he were silently reminding me that I could have been her and I couldn’t hide an expression of disgust in response. 

“Your fathers rules no longer apply.” He detailed, as he strode over to Wells to grab a shirt and Wells moved to challenge him without hesitation, when Atom pushed him back, playing the role of bodyguard for our apparent new leader.

“Atom. Hold up.” Bellamy instructed, turning back to face Wells with a taunting attitude. “You want it back? Take it.” He offered, prompting Wells to stare intensely at him, until I caught his eye and shook my head.

Though I could completely understand Wells' desire to hit him, I urged him not to surrender to Bellamy’s new way of life and he turned to throw the clothing to the ground. People instantly swarmed around the items like a pack of vultures and Wells shared a disbelieving look with me.

“Is this what you want? Chaos?” Wells queried, staring at Bellamy with exasperation, but it was already abundantly clear that his words would never reach him.

“What’s wrong with a little chaos?” He drawled, before winking in my direction and I was about to storm off when a frantic scream carried from the woods.

The boys put their argument aside to follow the sound and I hid at the back of the group to investigate. Most of the camp seemed to be interested in whatever had caused the commotion, but I noticed that no one was in any particular hurry as they strolled over, leaving me feeling impatient. 

“Bellamy!” Murphy’s voice called as we emerged into a clearing and found him holding a girl's arms behind her head as he dangled her over the campfire. “Check it out. We want the Ark to think that the ground is killing us, right? Figured it’ll look better if we suffer a little bit first.”

I froze to the spot as I watched Murphy efficiently explaining his reasoning for literally torturing someone and covered my mouth in shock. My earlier advice about the effects of radiation replayed in my mind and I was horrified as I witnessed the fear in the girls eyes, whilst Mbege simply stood beside them as if this were a perfectly reasonable situation.

Before I could think of what to do, Wells rushed forward to push Murphy away from her and she fell with a yelp, scolding herself on the fire as she tried to catch herself. My body moved without my consideration and I hurried to help her to a standing position, guiding her away from the rising conflict between the boys.

I took her hands in mine, turning them over to examine the damage whilst she whimpered and managed to identify several small burns across her palms and fingertips that were obviously causing her pain.

A loud crunch sounded from behind her and I glanced over her shoulder to realise that Murphy had instigated a fist fight with Wells, who seemed equally content to participate in resolving their conflict. Knowing that I wouldn’t be able to stop it, I decided to focus on my strengths rather than getting mixed up in this situation. The girl beside me was clearly still in shock about what had just happened to her, so I placed a hand on her arm and led her back toward camp with a calm attitude.

Once she was settled on a nearby log, I dampened a cloth in cold water and used it to cool her hands, before doing the same to her face to help her to relax. Her hands shook wildly as I worked and I returned the cloth to her fingertips, holding it with just enough pressure that I was able to both treat her and provide some comfort.

It was impossible not to notice how pretty she was. Her curly brown hair perfectly framed her features, most notably of all her large brown eyes that matched my own. She wore the same outfit as most of us, combat trousers, boots, a tank top and a navy blue jacket, with her hair tied back in a loose braid. 

Though I would expect most people in her state to wear a terrified expression, she seemed exceptionally calm and I suspected that like many of us, life on the Ark had taught her to manage pain. She seemed almost numb to it, as if her shock was caused by the surprise of her rescue, rather than the fact that she was attacked in the first place. Even her skin still remained a warm shade of tawny brown, with orange-red undertones that filled her cheeks, instead of turning pale as I would have expected.

“Sorry. I-I can’t hold still.” She stuttered in a small voice as she battled to cease shaking and I smiled sympathetically at her. “Must be the adrenaline.” She excused in a hurry and I nodded in agreement, hoping to reassure her that this was a perfectly normal reaction.

“Just hold that on there.” I instructed as I got to my feet and wandered into the nearby grass.

The sounds of the fight were ongoing, with raised voices in the distance, but I tried to ignore it as I directed my way back to a plant that I had noticed the day before when foraging for supplies. The prickly spires of the aloe stood out in the long grass and though it took some significant effort to tear a piece off without a blade to cut it, I managed to dislodge a piece that was already slightly damaged.

My patient was still shaking when I crouched down in front of her again and I made sure that I was particularly delicate with her when I moved the cloth to one side.

“This will reduce the risk of infections and help it to heal faster.” I explained quietly as I released some oil from the leaves and tenderly applied it to her burns, keeping my focus on the fact that I was helping her, rather than my anxiety over talking to a stranger.

“I remember you, you know.” She muttered, studying me with an interested expression and I shot my head up to face her with confusion. “You treated me before. In medical.” She explained carefully and I cleared my throat as I moved away from her.

“You need to keep the area clean and apply the gel three times a day until it heals. It grows over there.” I ordered coldly, standing to tidy away my supplies and leaving her without any explanation.

Her familiarity unnerved me. It was a direct threat to my plan to go unnoticed here and after my encounter with Bellamy this morning, I began to wonder what I was doing wrong. It had been easy to be invisible in lockup, but without the structure of the Ark, I could no longer predict people as I always had before.

In this new world, I couldn’t be sure of my place.

☓ ღ ➵ ღ ☓

This discovery made me deeply uncomfortable and I remained out of view as I watched Mbege assist Murphy in removing a young girl's wristband, only to receive excessive praise and cheering for doing so. Bellamy was quick to greet them with a handshake, as if welcoming them to an exclusive club and my stomach churned at the sight of the manipulative behaviour.

The next person in their conveyor belt of volunteers stepped forward and as Murphy used his blade to prize the wristband off, I noticed the grimace of the young person and noted that this seemed a rather painful process to be undertaken by such inexperienced teenage boys. Though I was tempted to offer my expertise to minimise the risk of injury, I couldn’t bring myself to risk involvement and instead was about to creep away when Murphy caught my eyes. He patted Mbege on the shoulder, pointing out another of his followers that could assist him whilst he was absent, then navigated carefully through the crowd to avoid drawing any attention as he approached me.

“What do you think, Sunshine? Ready to unshackle yourself?” He suggested with an enthusiastic smile, seeming completely oblivious to the severity of what he was doing and I stared back at him, allowing my uncertainty to convey itself in my face. I couldn’t imagine how he could possibly consider this to be a wise decision and struggled to find the words to explain the damage that had already been done here without causing him to become defensive.

“Don’t worry. If you’re scared it will hurt, I can do yours on my own. I’ll be extra careful with you.” He offered in a teasing tone, his smug expression hinting that he was simply pleased at the idea of having an excuse to touch me and I sighed at him in disappointment.

“Was this your idea?” I enquired, glimpsing from him to Bellamy suspiciously and as he followed my gaze, he seemed confused. It was obviously a struggle for him to decide whether to take credit for this and so I decided to give him some context to encourage him to be honest. “Did he tell you that these are sending our vitals to the Ark?” I investigated, wondering whether he’d been misled about their purpose and he sneered in response to this clarity.

“Of course. That’s why we’re taking them off.” He breezed, as if this were a sensible conclusion and I tilted my head at him to express my disbelief. “Come on, Cassie. You don’t want to help those assholes, do you? They sent us down here to die. We’re just taking back our freedom.” He added confidently, attempting to appeal to the bitterness that I had earlier allowed him to see and I choked on my lip nervously. 

Although I was somewhat tempted to shed all remaining ties to the Ark, every time that I glanced at my wristband, I remembered Abby’s words about relaying the data back to my father and knew that I could never hurt him by making him think that I’d died. I also remained cautious of the intentions of Bellamy, who seemed to be carefully plotting via members of the camp and though I knew that Murphy was likely genuine about seeing this as little more than another act of rebellion, I couldn’t be certain of the intentions of his puppet master.

“My Papi is watching my vitals.” I revealed in a small, nervous voice and Murphy raised his brows in surprise. I took hold of the wristband, running my fingers along it thoughtfully and I knew that I would do anything to protect this final connection to my old man. “I’m all he has left. Even if I never see him again, I have to live for him.” I explained, avoiding meeting his eyes as I spoke and a few moments of heavy silence passed. I suspected that he was deciding whether to respect my decision, or to make another attempt to convert me, causing anxiety to build in my chest until he finally cleared his throat.

“I get it. Whatever keeps you sane, right?” He commented in a surprisingly calm vice and feeling caught off guard by his understanding, I whipped my attention up to him. In his eyes, I could tell that he was at least somewhat disappointed in me, but he forced himself to wear a smile in the hope that I wouldn’t notice. I glanced down at his bare wrist, already stripped of its connection to our home and couldn’t help the sensation that it’s absence made me his opposition, a feeling that I wasn’t fond of.

“There’s nobody up there watching mine.” He remarked as he noticed my gaze lingering on the space where his wristband had been this morning and I felt a heaviness to my heart at these words. “No one will even notice when my heart stops.” He muttered, in an ambiguous way that could easily have referred to more than just the people on the Ark who were monitoring our data and I scowled at this thought.

“Maybe not up there, but I will.” I argued in a firmer tone than I’d ever used around him before, causing him to return from his distant stare to smile at me and I was sure that there was the slightest hint of tears in his eyes. “So, just make sure that you don’t die. Alright?” I insisted as I met his eyes and just as he opened his mouth to answer, we were interrupted by a deep, overpowering voice.

“Murphy. Hurry up and bring your volunteer over. We’ve got people waiting.” Bellamy asserted, marching up to his side with an uncomfortable sense of authority and I felt my eyes widen at his statement. For a moment, I was tempted to turn tail and run into the woods, but as Murphy glanced over at me, his expression became resolute and I managed to convince myself that I could rely on him to protect me.

“No. She won’t be taking hers off.” He stated calmly, turning to face Bellamy with confidence and I felt my heartbeat quicken with fear. Bellamy leant into closer in an effort to intimidate him and I quickly began to realise that his charismatic attitude was only the first stage of his control. It seemed that denying him caused a more threatening side of him to emerge and my distrust of him only grew stronger. 

“I thought we said no exceptions?” He grumbled, staring into Murphy’s face with an intensity that would have caused me to wilt had it been directed at me and I felt as if I were witnessing something that I shouldn’t be privy to. I wondered how he had convinced Murphy to follow his leadership, when I’d hardly ever seen him successfully controlled by anyone in the past, but as he stood his ground, I realised that the power dynamic between them didn’t seem to have been set in stone just yet.

“What about your sister?” Murphy leered, squaring up to Bellamy in return and I shifted awkwardly at the confrontation. He seemed significantly rattled by the mention of his sibling and I was unsure if Murphy had been wise to have struck at what was clearly a sensitive topic. 

“Are you gonna force her to take hers off when she gets back, or does she get a choice?” He questioned stubbornly, refusing to back down on this point and Bellamy thinned his eyes at him. For a moment, I was worried that they would devolve into violence, but eventually it became clear that Bellamy wished to deal with this without using the loyalty of his newly gained follower.

“That’s different. Octavia is my blood.” He excused, crossing his arms defensively and Murphy was clearly unphased by this reasoning. “We need to get everyone on side. If we start skipping people, it will cause doubt.” He advised, attempting to continue Murphy of the validity of their cause again and I suspected that I was witnessing a glimpse of how he’d secured his support in the first instance.

“She’s your exception, right?” Murphy suggested, providing him with an opportunity to escape scrutiny on the treatment of his sister when she returned and Bellamy reluctantly accepted it, simply nodding in agreement. “Well, Cassidy is mine.” He clarified in a firm manner and I couldn’t help feeling that his wording was deliberately vague, as if they were discussing an entirely different kind of ownership. “I can vouch for her. She’s skilled and valuable enough to be worth the risk.” He added carefully, ensuring that he made the bargain sound worthwhile and Bellamy finally tore his eyes from his opposition to examine me with interest. I squirmed awkwardly under his scrutiny, uncomfortable with the way that he studied me and I felt Murphy stiffen in reaction too.

“I guess we’ll find out.” He conceded, clearly unsure in what this mysterious value was and I fiddled with the sleeves of my jacket to distract myself. Under his overbearing attitude, I’d reverted to my silence demeanour and hoped that my lack of interaction would result in him ignoring me as the others had whilst in lockup. “We’ve got plenty more people to get through.” He pointed out as he turned back to Murphy with a significant look, before leaving us alone. I released a deep sigh of relief, causing Murphy to smile at my silent display of dislike and I nodded to him before creeping back toward my tent.

I spent some time attempting to reinforce the structure and gathering leftover bits of parachutes to use as bedding before the others realised that they would need them to sleep. They were sufficiently distracted by the party that Murphy and Mbege were steadily growing for Bellamy and I wondered how long their enthusiasm would continue as they seemed to be relentlessly irresponsible.

Just as I was about to return to my tent for the night, the sound of raised voices carried over from the campfire and I hurried over to investigate in the hopes that Clarke and the others had finally returned. Instead, I found Bellamy and Wells engaged in a heated power struggle and blended into the back of the audience in the hope that I wouldn’t be noticed.

“If it really is safe, how could you not want the rest of our people to come down?” Wells questioned accusingly and I found myself watching with interest, as I had pondered the answer to this question myself.

“My people are already down.” Bellamy responded aggressively and I thinned my eyes at him suspiciously. “Those people locked my people up.” He gestured upwards as he spoke and I crossed my arms as I scrutinised him. It seemed nonsensical to me that he would refer to the delinquents this way when he had only just met most of them and I was unsure how he was encouraging such a sense of camaraderie as the only person here who had not been a prisoner at all.

“Those people killed my mother for the crime of having a second child. Your father did that.” He revealed, stepping closer to Wells with an intense expression and my posture relaxed somewhat as understanding dawned on me. Though he had not been convicted, his experiences had certainly given him an appreciation for the circumstances of most of the people here, but I still felt uncomfortable at the power hungry behaviour that he was displaying.

“My father didn’t write the laws.” Wells defended in exasperation, continuing to be completely ignorant of all the social cues that he should cease causing trouble for his own safety and I sighed in defeat. In all honesty, I was surprised that he’d even survived the day considering his determination to paint a target on his back.

“No. He enforced them. But not anymore. Not here. Here, there are no laws. Here we do whatever the hell we want, whenever the hell we want.” Bellamy announced, subtly addressing the audience who cheered their support as he spoke and I felt my stomach lurch at the potential impact of his statement. My awareness of the capability of the people that filled this camp gave me a horrifying awareness of the dangers that could come from declaring our location as somewhere with no laws and feared how quickly we could fall into chaos.

“Now, you don’t have to like it, Wells. You can even try to stop it, or change it. Kill me.” Bellamy taunted and I felt my mouth fall open at his endorsement of murder, hardly able to believe that he could be this oblivious. “You know why? Whatever the hell we want.” He added purposefully, a smug smile filling his lips as he uttered the phrase that resonated with all of the teens that were gathered around him and Murphy was quick to jump on the momentum of this mantra.

“Whatever the hell we want!” Murphy yelled, riling up the teens who began chanting the line in an overpowering cacophony of voices and I was rooted in the spot in shock as I processed the danger of this group united under Bellamy. Wells glanced around at the crowd with a deep concern in his expression and for the first time, I was glad that someone else sensible had remained behind in camp.

Suddenly, the sky crackled with thunder, causing me to startle in terror and the heavens opened as rain hammered down on us. Instead of being discouraged by this, the teens seemed even more enthused with it, revelling in the way that it felt and even the smothering of the fire that plunged us into darkness failed to bother them. I hesitated from running to cover, hoping that one of the two boys who were squaring up to each other might take control of the situation, but Bellamy seemed just as enamoured by his first experience of rain as the others were.

“We need to collect this.” Wells urged, attempting to break his trance, but Bellamy was completely disinterested in his eagerness to plan for our survival. People cheered around them, dancing in the downpour with vivid excitement and though it was a unique feeling that thrilled me too, I couldn’t help that my focus remained on the practical matters.

“Whatever the hell you want.” Bellamy answered evenly, holding his ground against Wells until he eventually wandered away and as he seemed to move with purpose, I instinctively followed. 

He passed the tarp that I had earlier set up for catching water to check whether it was withstanding the elements and then began darting around in search of something. As soon as I realised what he was doing, I wordlessly joined him and we worked silently as we gathered as many containers as we could find to collect the rain. Anything that had the capacity to hold water was placed out in a row at the edge of camp, in a spot where there was less cover from the trees.

We quickly ran out of large items and as Wells split from me in search of anything smaller that he could utilise, I made my way toward the dropship for my hunt, allowing him the opportunity to avoid it. I was about to step inside when something caught my arm and I whipped around to find Murphy examining me with interest.

“Trust you to be the only person crazy enough to want to head inside during this.” He drawled, chucking slightly to himself with amusement and I shrugged avoidantly. I was reluctant to directly criticise his behaviour, but couldn’t help feeling somewhat annoyed that I had to bear the responsibility that everyone else had abandoned. 

“It’s cold.” I excused, wiggling out of his grip and he raised a brow at me disbelievingly. Admittedly, I was the only person still dressed in multiple layers when most of the group had already begun to strip off in the earlier sunshine, but that was mostly due to my own modesty more than the temperature. 

“Besides, someone needs to make sure that we have drinking water.” I added, fidgeting in the spot as I spoke and allowing my hands to slip into my pockets in a self soothing gesture. Murphy shook his head disapprovingly and glanced around as if searching for something particular. Without warning, he grabbed my hand and dragged me along behind him as he navigated through the trees.

“Let the mini chancellor deal with that! I want to show you something.” He called backward as he guided me to some unknown destination and I felt my heartbeat pounding as I struggled to see properly in the darkness. I wondered if he even knew exactly where he was going and though my surroundings made me nervous, the fact that he was with me kept me from descending into full blown panic. 

After a few minutes, we emerged into a tiny space that was clear of any trees right in the middle of the dense forest and the rain seemed to fall even heavier here. Murphy halted, turning to face me with a smug smile and I stared back at him in confusion. There didn’t seem to be anything specific here and I couldn’t imagine what he’d led me here to reveal. 

“We spent our whole lives trapped in a floating box in space.” He opened, his tone serious as he addressed me and I raised my brows as I awaited a full explanation. 

“You’re so focused on being sensible that you’re forgetting what matters. This morning, we were both locked in cells, waiting to die. Now, we’re on Earth.” He pointed out, his voice filled with awe and although I could sense the elation that he felt, it seemed unattainable to me. I smiled weakly at him, unsure of what he expected from me and he sighed thoughtfully. 

“It’s rain, Cassie. Real, actual rain. How can you not see how insane that is? It feels different, don’t you think? It smells different. Close your eyes. Forget about all of the bullshit that you’re carrying. This rain? It’s more than that. It’s freedom.” He explained, gradually stepping closer to me as he spoke and as his words washed over me, the heavy drops that fell on my skin took on new meaning. Clearly sensing the shift in my demeanour, Murphy leaned in closer still, pushing the damp hair from my face and placed a delicate hand over my eyes. 

“Close your eyes. Feel it.” He whispered, pulling me under his spell and I allowed my eyelids to flutter closed obediently. 

After a few moments, he removed his hand to check if I had followed his instruction and I heard a satisfied hum as he realised that I had. The sound of the rain was deafening once I allowed myself to focus on it and although I expected it to be overwhelming, it was strangely relaxing. Every drop created different tones of sound as it bounced off nearby branches, sliding down the leaves to reach the grass beneath our feet.

I could hear Murphy’s steady breathing, the warmth of his breath just reaching my skin in the close positions that we were standing and providing a small respite from the cold temperature of the droplets that soaked me. Gradually, I became aware of a scent that was unfamiliar, a slightly similarity to soil and vegetation, but also something more, something that was entirely unique.

When I allowed my eyes to drift open, I found Murphy studying me with a contented smile and couldn’t help returning it. His hair was thoroughly soaked and had been knocked from its slicked back style, now allowing water to drip down his face from the long strands that hung in front of his eyes. There was a heavy sense of peace between us, as I stared at him with a new perspective and I felt more alive in this moment than I ever had before. 

The rain continued to pelt us relentlessly, but instead of feeling uncomfortable, the storm felt as if it were connecting us to something powerful that recharged our beaten down souls. His handsome features were lit by the moon which glowed beautifully above us, bathing us both in dreamy rays and it seemed as if we were the only two people in the world. I couldn’t put into words the sensation that we shared, but as we each stared at each other in wonder, I knew that we were completely in tune.

Out of nowhere, there was an earth shattering bout of lightning and I instinctively reached out to Murphy as I yelled in shock. The entire clearing became blindingly bright for a few seconds and even he cursed under his breath. 

He grabbed my hand as he broke into a jog toward camp and although I was shaken, I ran alongside him with nervous laughter building in my chest. In no time at all, we were both struggling to catch our breath, darting between the trees with the rain hammering down and we cackled like hyenas at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. 

We practically fell into the dropship, finding it crowded with people who bustled around in search of a space to sleep. It seemed that the storm had finally driven them inside, but it failed to dampen down the party atmosphere and I noticed several people pairing off to find a more private spot. Feeling overwhelmed by the crowd, I fidgeted into a corner by the door to watch the weather that raged outside, whilst Murphy disappeared into the mass of people, presumably to check in with Bellamy.

 Now that the exhalation had passed, I felt the cold from my soaking clothes, seeping into my skin and hugged myself in an effort to keep warm. It was suffocatingly loud within the ship, as people set up areas to chatter lazily, or fought over limited covers to sleep under and I was shocked to find that it was actually more chaotic than I had imagined it would be.

As quickly as it had started, the storm slowed down to little more than a dreary drizzle and I slipped outside unnoticed by the rowdy crowd. Holding my hands over my head protectively, my boots splashed in the mud as I jogged over to my tent that had suitably proved it’s stability against the storm and climbed inside. It was a miracle to find that everything inside was still dry and I credited myself for all my supposedly wasted time that I spent as a child reading survival books. 

My hair dripped water constantly, sticking to my face and the thick jumper I wore to protect myself from the elements felt like a straight jacket under the weight of the water that it held. I began to peel off my clothes, hoping that at least the lighter items might dry overnight as I hung them as neatly as possible from the framing of the structure, until I was left in only a tank top and panties. I grasped the bottom of my vest to pull it over my head, when a voice made my heart skip several beats.

“There you are! I wondered where you’d snuck off to.” Murphy announced, bending over to poke his head between the shredded parachutes with a smile that only grew more mischievous as he caught sight of my undressed state and I cursed under my breath in shock. “Oh, don’t stop on my accord. Please, continue.” He crooned, dropping into a crouch as if he had no intention of leaving and biting his lip in a manner that made my cheeks flush crimson. I yanked the tank top back into place to cover my bra, but it was obvious from the smugness of his expression that he’d already managed a rather indulgent glimpse at me.

“Stop staring!” I hissed as I threw the nearest item to hand at him and quickly pulled some blankets over me. He was clearly disappointed by this reaction, but quickly recovered and his expression seemed as if he’d set his mind on a new target. 

“I never pegged you as such a survivalist.” He commented, leaning slightly further into the tent to look around and I quirked a brow at him suspiciously. “Got room for one more?” He asked with a sneer and I rolled my eyes in exasperation. Though I still had a significant soft spot for him, I was beginning to realise how exhausting his antics were without any guards to enforce breaks and I couldn’t help worrying about the intimidation behind this request. 

“More room in the dropship, I’m sure.” I pointed out, fidgeting awkwardly at the idea of even trying to squeeze him in this tiny structure alongside me and he pouted sulkily at my suggestion, as if deeply offended. 

“You’re kidding? It’s packed in there! I don’t wanna share a space with 99 other people.” He groaned, grimacing at the thought and though I was sympathetic to his predicament, I was desperate for some alone time after the insanity of the day.

“Well, maybe if you hadn’t spent all day partying, you’d have somewhere else to sleep.” I scolded, tilting my head at him critically and he tutted as if I were the one who was being unreasonable. He shifted slightly closer inside to avoid the rain and I automatically slid myself further away from him. 

“Come on, Cassie. You’re not really gonna make me sleep with all of those criminals, are you? Think of my safety.” He appealed, making his best effort to appear utterly pathetic as he leant back outside a little to emphasise that he was indeed still getting wet as he awaited permission to stay and I sighed thoughtfully. “I promise I won’t bite. Not unless you ask me too, anyway.” He winked, laying the charm on thick and I held up my hands in defeat as I cringed. 

“Fine, fine! Just please stop talking.” I blurted, fidgeting to cover more of myself and he wasted no time in rushing inside, closing the gap behind him as much as he could. 

I became acutely aware of just how small the shelter was the moment that he entered and it felt as if we were practically on top of each other as he attempted to manoeuvre himself out of his damp clothes without toppling the entire tent over. 

It took a few moments for me to realise that I was staring as he shook off his jacket and as he reached to remove his shirt, he caught my eyes with a smirk. My cheeks practically radiated heat as I snapped my gaze away and I heard him chuckle from behind me as I flopped into a lying position, keeping my back to him to hide my embarrassment.

“You can look if you want, Sunshine. I’ve got no problem with it.” He offered, causing the blush to fill my entire face and when I didn’t respond, I heard him finish undressing anyway. “After all, you let me take a peek.” He crooned as he fidgeted into place beside me and I couldn’t keep myself from turning over with a frown.

“I did not.” I gasped in defence and he crooked a brow at me teasingly. “I didn’t let you see anything. You snuck up on me. Creeper.” I argued against his sordid expression and he scoffed, clearly delighted to have baited me into talking with him again.

“Right. Of course. Whatever helps you to protect your modesty, my lady.” He drawled, cussing me to release an annoyed breath as I furrowed my brows at him. 

“You’re insufferable.” I muttered as I fidgeted around in a vain effort to get comfortable and he quietly chuckled to himself in satisfaction. 

The space felt as if it was actively shrinking around us and it was impossible to get any further away from him, as his skin radiated heat into mine without even having any direct contact between us. Never before had I been this close to someone and I noticed that my breathing had become shallow. Murphy seemed perfectly at ease with the arrangement, if not a little too enthusiastic and I strained to concentrate on literally anything other than my desire to escape. 

“Are they all your own art?” His voice pulled me from my spiralling anxiety and I met his eyes with confusion, realising that he was examining my tattoos. 

I was so used to them that I mostly forgot they were there most of the time and I’d definitely overlooked the fact that I’d always been too wrapped up in layers for him to ever get a proper look at them. I nodded back slowly, feeling strange about the way that his eyes roamed the exposed sections of my skin and I became acutely aware of my own heartbeat. 

“They’re so detailed. Do they mean anything to you?” He wondered aloud, seeming completely enthralled by them and I barely managed a hum in response. “There’s so much in this one. Must be important?” 

I hadn’t noticed him reaching out to me until it was too late and the way that his fingertips grazed the shapes on my upper arm made a shiver run down my spine. I stuttered several times in an effort to form a response, feeling as if I’d forgotten how to speak at all and Murphy continued his study of all of the visible art that littered my skin.

“I...it’s...umm.” I stumbled, inwardly cursing my mind for failing me and at the sound of my voice, his eyes finally dragged their way up to meet mine. There was tempting intensity in the sapphire blue of his eyes and I gulped nervously. “Expectations. It’s the feeling of time crushing down on you, never having the keys to all of the doors that are closed to you and the gears of life always turning.” I explained, pointing out all of the little items within the piece as I revealed their meaning and his brows shot up in surprise. 

“Shit. That’s dark.” He grumbled as he stared down at the work again and I released a nervous giggle. 

“Right.” I agreed in a whisper, feeling entirely too aware of how close his face was to mine. “We should get some sleep. I’m sure the party will be raging again in no time.” I excused, clearing my throat in an effort to cover the huskiness of my voice and quickly turning my back on him to keep myself from indulging in anything that I might later regret.

☓ ღ ➵ ღ ☓

“Oh, you want to hear my sob story?” He suggested, his handsome features forming a smirk and I felt a mischievous smile spreading across my lips. Although most people seemed to find his attitude frustrating, there was something strangely attractive about it to me and every smirk that he directed at me made a tingle travel the length of my spine.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” I drawled in a flirtatious tone, surprising even myself at my boldness and he quirked a brow at me with fascination. For a moment, I began to worry whether this comment had been a mistake, as the herb loosened my lips far more than I had expected and I felt a small remaining level of anxiety spiralling in my brain. Whilst I was preoccupied with my own self consciousness, Murphy took a long drag to prepare himself for his explanation.

“When I was a kid, I got really sick.” He began, avoiding my eyes as he spoke and I shuffled into a comfortable position to listen. “Sick enough that my parents thought I would die without treatment. None of the doctors would help, so my father stole some medicine and got himself floated. It was only after he died that I started to get better and we found out that I’d had the flu.” He explained in a low tone and I grimaced, realising that he was unlikely to have even required medicine for this illness in the first instance. A few moments of silence passed as he took another smoke and I tried to find a lighter part of his past to discuss. 

“What about your ma?” I asked gently, hoping that this might provide him with an opportunity to share a more hopeful memory, but instead he glanced over at me with pain in his beautiful blue eyes, sighing deeply in thought before he decided to answer me.

“My mother was a drunk. If she wasn’t passed out, or vomiting everywhere, then she was blaming me for everything that had ever gone wrong in her life. Eventually she drank herself to death.” He explained in a grumble, before glancing to the distance in an avoidant gesture and I was sure that I saw him subtly wipe away a tear. It seemed that the smoking was bringing out emotions that he had long since buried and I was nervous to fulfil my end of the bargain with this in my system. He cleared his throat to bypass any remaining sentimentality in his voice and forced a devilish smile into a place as he turned back to view me.

“So, you’re wondering what any of this has to do with what I actually did, right? Well, once I was old enough to get the supplies, I set fire to the quarters of the officer that arrested my father. Sure, it landed me in lockup, but it was fucking satisfying!” He added with the previous bravado that he’d always displayed in our conversations in the skybox and though he tried to use it to cover his vulnerability, I had come to know him well enough to see through it. The hurt and anger that had led him to this decision was clear to me and though I wanted to tell him how sorry I was, I knew that it would bring him little comfort.

“Sounds like our mams would’ve gotten along famously.” I commented idly as I took a long drag on the smoke and threw the last of it off the edge of the dropship. It was a strange thought to consider, but I realised that at least some parts of our childhoods had parallels and I began to dissect the previously unexplained feeling that I’d had since we first met that Murphy was able to understand me in a way that others had never been able to.

“Really?” Murphy breathed, stunned by my comment and I nodded in return. “No way. I can’t imagine you in an upbringing like mine.” He stated, seeming genuinely perplexed by this concept and I shook my head at his incorrect assumption.

“My mam was a nasty woman, full of spite and disapproval. I only recently found out that she had own addictions, though, namely pain relief. I’m actually beginning to suspect that she only stayed with my old man so that she could steal his meds.” I grumbled, staring down at my feet and Murphy’s brows raised at the severity of my statement. “I know. It’s a dark thought, right? My Papi has multiple sclerosis. That’s why I started studying medicine. Whole load of good that did me.” I added in a bitter voice and Murphy seemed as if he could hardly believe what he was hearing.

“Wait a second, you’re a medical student?!” He exclaimed in sheer disbelief and I nodded slowly in confirmation. His eyes grew ridiculously wide at this and he stumbled over his words a few times as he tried to decide which question to ask first. “So, how does someone like you end up convicted for drug smuggling? This doesn’t make sense.” He rambled, staring at me as if he suspected I were creating some fabricated story to fool him and I knew that I would have to be painfully honest if I were to convince him that I were indeed telling the truth.

“She thinks she’s fallen in love.” I admitted, speaking the words aloud for the very first time and my heart immediately ached as the confession left my lips. “There was this intern who was a few years older than me. He told me that he had a sick mam and that his old man was gone. For once in my life, I really felt like someone understood me and that made me blind. I was so full of hope and all I wanted to do was help people, and he took advantage of that. Sold me some crap about a medicinal programme for the underprivileged and I ate it up like an idiot.” My voice became aggressive towards the end, as my inner frustrations infected my words and Murphy seemed completely riveted by my explanation.

“Plenty of assholes with their own agenda on that station” Murphy stated spitefully, clearly speaking from experience and I nodded silently in agreement. “He sounds like a real piece of work, though.” He added in a growl, seeming as if he were already aggravated by this idea and I couldn’t help but feel amused by the potency of his reaction. I scoffed under my breath, reflecting on the depth of Cian’s betrayal and how disgusted he would become if he knew the full details of every minor manipulation that led to this outcome.

“You have no idea.” I muttered as I recalled the level of deceit that he had felt necessary to the process of recruiting me and Murphy tilted his head at me in a silent question. “The reason that I finally decided to turn him in is that I found out every single thing he ever said to me was a lie. His parents are alive and definitely not sick. You were right about me all along, without even knowing any of the details. He targeted me.” I revealed in a small, pained voice, glancing over at him with tears in my eyes and he cursed to himself. 

“Man, fuck the Ark. I’m glad we don’t ever have to go back to that hellhole.” He spat, staring up at the sky with disdain and I turned to look up at the clouds too, wondering where exactly our home was. My thoughts drifted to my father whenever I thought of the Ark and my chest ached at our separation, unable to accept yet that I would never again be able to indulge in his comfort. “You know, it sounds like I was right about one other thing at least. You were a total goodie goodie on the Ark.” He confirmed with a deviant smile and after a slight chuckle under my breath, I sighed thoughtfully. 

“I was. I followed every rule, trained for a selfless job and carefully worked my way in with people who I thought could help me to protect what was left of my family. Thanks to my job, I even had a new mother figure in my life. But look at where all of that got me. Now I’m on Earth, alone.” I remarked, the frustration that I had bottled up for far too long fearing its ugly head and Murphy furrowed his brows at me, as if I’d said something horribly offensive.

“Hey.” He spoke sharply and I jumped as I turned to face him with apprehension. “You’re not alone.” He stated, staring deeply into my eyes and I couldn’t keep a fond smile from filling my lips. It was a disagreement that I hadn’t at all expected, but the comment provided a level of comfort that was truly welcome against the isolation that I’d felt since arriving here.

“You’re not alone either, Murph.” I breathed in a warm tone, feeling a genuine appreciation for his presence here and his face lit up at my words. A comfortable silence fell upon us as we both returned to staring at the trees, enjoying the fresh breeze that ruffled our hair and for a few moments, I felt at peace. “It really is beautiful here. The colours are so vibrant and rich, and the smells are insane. You know, before the world went to crap, they used to get kids to do leaf rubbings in school as an introduction to art. I’ve always wished that I could do that.” I revealed, surprised by how much I was speaking and vowed never to smoke again as I strained to try to contain my thoughts. 

“Well, shit. I’ve never wished that I was a leaf before. Sure you don’t want to rub me?” He suggested with a playful wink and though he tried to hold a serious expression, his face rapidly crumbled at the absurdity of his words. I snorted under the strength of the laughter that escaped me, clutching my stomach as I gasped for air and Murphy cackled alongside me. It seemed that we were reaching the tail end of the herbs' effect on us now and had descended into the silly stage of the intoxication, where everything seemed profoundly funnier than it otherwise would. Once I’d finally been able to calm myself enough to speak, I fixed him with a scrutinising look.

“Why do you do that? I really don’t get it.” I interrogated, keen to find an explanation for the strange behaviour that he had been displaying for almost the entire time that we’d known each other and his face was the picture of innocence as he gradually recovered from the laughter. 

“Do what?” He avoided, clearly enjoying the opportunity to force me to put my suspicions into words and I furrowed my brows in disapproval for this tactic. I had no desire to actually ask whether he was truly attracted to me, but decided to clear the air with a less direct approach whilst I still had the courage.

“Make everything into an innuendo!” I breathed, frustrated that he had continued to act oblivious to my intentions and he shrugged, forcing me to continue. “The whole thing confuses me. The chat up lines and the winks and the constant flirtation. I honestly just don’t get it.” I confessed, holding his intense eye contact as I levelled him with questions and fully expected for him to insist that it was little more than a joke. He raised a single brow at me in suspicion and I braced myself for an answer that would cause me to feel immensely foolish.

“Have you never actually seen yourself?” He asked pointedly, his eyes taking an indulgent scan of my entire body before coming to rest on my face longingly and I scoffed louder than I had at any other time in my life. “Seriously, I’m not buying that you’re that clueless. You’re incredible.” He breezed, surveying me as if he couldn’t find a single flaw and I rolled my eyes at him.

“Right. Another line. Whatever.” I grumbled , fidgeting on the spot as I started to feel my insecurity returning to me in full force and scolded myself for even expecting a truthful response in the first place. It was obvious in my mind that this was simply another game to him, something to amuse himself with in the absence of any other entertainment and I fully expected that he would move on shortly now that we were free. He cleared his throat as he prepared to address me, pulling me from my fearful thoughts. 

“I don’t get how you can be this unaware of the effect that you have on people. I mean, you must've had boyfriends in the past, right? Other than the fucker that got you locked up.” He suggested as if it were an obvious assumption and I shook my head, fiddling with my hands to avoid his prying eyes. “Girlfriend? That’s hot.” He added with a mischievous manner and I had to chuckle at his immaturity. 

“No, Murphy. I have no idea what you’re talking about. You’re acting like I go around intoxicating everyone and leaving them all clamoring for just one kiss.” I drawled with exaggerated gestures, unsure how to interpret his dramatic expectations and he simply grinned at my comments, as if I’d played into his hands.

“Oh, I want much more than one kiss.” He remarked, his voice growing deep at the thought and I shook my head at him in disbelief, surprised that he would still continue this act even in the face of my enquiries. “You have been kissed, haven’t you, Sunshine?” He enquired, catching me off guard with his sudden question and I fidgeted in discomfort as my cheeks burned hot. I knew that lying to him wasn’t an option, as he seemed to be able to see through me with little effort and I had no intention of admitting to something that made me seem so pathetic. Instead of judging me, however, Murphy seemed exhilarated by the confirmation that my silence provided and slid himself closer to my side. 

“Really? Well, I could fix that.” He muttered, dropping to a quiet and raspy voice and I shivered at the way that it made me feel. At first, I assumed that he was kidding as usual, but it quickly dawned in me that he was suffocatingly close and my breath caught in my throat as I realised that he was leaning into me. His shoulder bumped mine as he moved into my space and though part of me would have been willing to jump off the dropship to my death, the ruling portion of my brain began to allow my eyelids to flutter closed. His face was close enough to mine that he could count every freckle if it weren’t hiding under the heavy blush that dusted my cheeks and I could feel his hot breath against my skin, as I held my own in nervous anticipation.

“Murphy!” A sharp yell caused me to startle to such an extent that I almost slipped off the edge and Murphy had to rapidly pull me back to safety. “Will you stop fucking about?! We’ve got shit to do, remember?” Mbege called upward as caught sight of our legs which hung over the side of the ship and Murphy was visibly furious at the interruption. As my senses flooded back to me, I quickly slid backwards and got to my feet to put some distance between us.

“Could you not?” I spat, brushing myself down and attempting to return my heartbeat to a reasonable speed following the thrill of the almost kiss. “You just ruined this whole thing! You were doing really well before that, too.” I stated, crossing my arms to fix him with a disapproving look and he chuckled with amusement as he stood to face me. I couldn’t help feeling as if he had crossed a boundary into unknown territory and I resented the change, as his friendship felt like all I had left to cling to now that we’d been ejected from our lives on the Ark. I wasn’t ready to face my attraction to him and the damage that it could do to our bond, and I couldn’t help feeling offended as how easily he seemed to be willing to throw it away.

“The whole thing, huh?” He queried and I nodded back fervently, revealing my defensiveness. “Well, I guess next time I’ll just have to make sure that we don’t get interrupted.” He sneered, seeming thoroughly pleased with himself and I shook my head at the misunderstanding. “Don’t worry. I know what you meant.” He clarified as he gathered his things and I raised my brows at him, confused by his contradictory statements. “The only problem with you acting so upset is that I know you wanted it. Until next time, Sunshine.” He winked, before striding away and leaving me blushing alone on the top of the dropship.

☓ ღ ➵ ღ ☓

I sighed in disappointment, but it wasn’t the first time that I’d seen him causing trouble within lockup. As a matter of fact, it seemed to be his favourite pastime and though I didn't approve of the behaviour, I’d come to simply accept that it was a part of him. I knew that it wasn’t something that I had the power to change anyway and acknowledged that there were likely things that he disliked about me too, namely how little I spoke. I’d always had a thing for the troubled, charming type, but Murphy was trouble with a capital T. 

As the smaller kid scarpered off, Murphy seemed to notice me staring and sauntered over with a smug smile on his lips. Fortunately, his backup broke off to bother someone else and I was relieved that we had privacy so that I could speak honestly. 

“You know, if I didn’t know better I’d think you were totally checking me out, Sunshine.” He remarked as he slid into a seat opposite me and I held eye contact with him firmly, determined not to be distracted by his flattery.

“Why do you act like that?” I asked directly, surprising even myself with the determination in my voice and he raised his brows, clearly taken aback by my question. It hadn’t been my intention to challenge him, but after discovering that Cian was a liar, I found it much harder to ignore red flags in Murphy.

“Like what? Like I’m into you?” He suggested, winking at me playfully and I sighed to demonstrate my disapproval at his tactics. I knew that he was being avoidant and it was clear that he didn’t appreciate me confronting him for his actions, but now that I’d started being honest, I couldn’t stop myself.

“Like an ass.” I blurted as I glanced back in the direction of the kid that he’d been bullying and his eyes widened at my comment. Once I returned my gaze to him, I started to feel uncomfortable with how aggressive my words had come across and I cleared my throat before speaking again. “Why can’t you just be how you are with me?” I offered in a gentler manner and he scoffed in disbelief.

“Well, not everyone is as resistant to my charms as you are, Cassie. If I was like this with everyone, I’d be batting the girls off and then I wouldn’t have time to hang out with you. Wouldn’t that be a shame?” He drawled with a sly smile and I rolled my eyes at him in annoyance. “Besides, maybe that’s who I really am. I’m an ass.” He added, leaning back in his seat with his arms crossed in a closed off posture and I tilted my head at him.

“No, you’re not.” I argued quietly and despite my confusion over the trustworthiness of everyone around me, I was surprised by the confidence that I felt in this statement. 

As if in distinct offence to my assertion, he reached out one of his hands to knock my sketchbook to the ground flippantly and raised a brow at me. A few seconds of silence passed where neither of us moved a muscle, instead simply staring at each other intensely and I could tell that he was silently asking with his expression whether my opinion had changed now. Eventually, a slight smile broke into my face and he quickly smiled in return, a cheeky glimmer in his eyes. I leaned down to grab the book and he rushed to reach it at the same time, bringing his face alarmingly close to mine.

“Oops. Sorry about that.” He muttered sarcastically as he inched slightly closer to my lips and I shot back to my seat, clutching the sketchbook to my chest. 

“Stop it, Trouble.” I hissed, a chuckle escaping me as I spoke and I noticed that he seemed thoroughly proud of his efforts, despite his failure to reach my lips.

“You’re very vocal today.” He remarked with a hint of excitement in his voice and I shrugged back casually. Since the first time that he’d approached, there was something about him that I couldn’t place that made me want to get to know him and as my patience with the mess that I was in waited, I was unable to resist the desire to speak to him any longer. Though I was nowhere near ready to admit that and wracked my brain for another explanation that I could offer him.

“Yeah, well. I’m working on being more vocal nowadays.” I revealed, dropping my voice to a volume that only he could hear and he seemed thoroughly enthralled by this information. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table and surveyed me as if I were the most fascinating thing that he’d ever witnessed, causing me to blush heavily. 

“Really?” He breathed in a dramatic fashion and I chuckled under my breath at his theatrics. “And is there something that you’re getting ready to say?” He interrogated, fixing me with a knowing look and I easily understood what he was implying. It seemed somewhat bizarre that he was so keen to encourage me to sell out my colleagues without even knowing the details, but I trusted his blind insight better than I could my own judgement and it gave me the final push that I needed to make the decision.

“Tomorrow.” I whispered conspiratorially, leaning closer to him and his eyes widened in disbelief.

“Tomorrow.” He repeated, as if to ensure that were definitely discussing the same thing and I nodded back fervently. “Well, that’s the big day, then. Just remember what I told you, drive a hard bargain. These guards will run you into the ground if you let them, but if you have something that they want, then you have power. Squeeze as much as you can out of them.” He advised, a devious look in his eyes at even the thought of extorting our jailers and I sniggered at his enthusiasm. “It’ll be dull in here without you, cupcake. I’ll have to make sure to visit when I get out. What station can I find you on?” He enquired and I found myself smiling warmly at this idea.

“Agro, sector 3-V.” I answered coyly and he tilted his head at me.

“Never guessed you for a farm girl. Guess that explains the hair though.” He teased and I shook my head at him. “Well, at least now I know you’re not from one of those fancy sectors. We’re both in the slums.” He announced and as I opened my mouth to ask where he was from, the bell rang to declare the end of our free time. “Well, I guess this is it. Stick it to them good tomorrow.” He advised as he got to his feet and just as he turned his back on me, he paused to glance over his shoulder. “Try not to miss me too much.” He winked and I felt a pang of regret as he strode away. 

Snatching up my sketchbook to leave the canteen, I was met with a drawing that seemed to be stuck in my muscle memory of a pair of familiar eyes with a single curl between them and my stomach lurched. Without a moment of hesitation, I pulled the sheet from the book and tore it in half, scrunching it into a ball that I threw into the nearest bin. Enough was enough. It was time to face the music. 

☓ ღ ➵ ღ ☓

In an effort to prepare myself to finally tell my story, I spent the evening disposing of every piece of art that related to Cian. It felt cleansing to destroy them, as if removing them from my sight was clearing away the feelings themselves and I finally began to accept that protecting them was not my burden to carry. Excitement bubbled in my stomach at the idea of seeing my father again and I smiled at the thought that by this time tomorrow, I could be home with him. 

Though I was nervous at the idea of negotiating with Kane, I knew that telling the truth would be a weight off my shoulders and could already feel some of the pressure lifting from simply making the decision. For the first time in weeks, I made the effort to tame my hair and attempted to neaten up my well worn clothes. I felt as if I were preparing to stand trial and I supposed that in some respects I was. It was impossible to know how I would fare in the court of public opinion for turning Cian in, especially knowing that he was above the age of imprisonment now, but I knew that however people treated me afterwards couldn’t be any worse than the gruelling punishments that I’d already endured so far. The night seemed to drag by and I couldn’t sleep, though for once it wasn’t due to the tactics of the guards. 

The sound of doors unlocking one after another and raised voices echoed from the halls, and I crept closer to press my ear to the door. There was a clear panic in the air outside and what seemed to be a large guard presence, even for lockup. I felt anxiety rising in my chest as I wondered what could possibly cause such a reaction and could hear the commotion growing closer. I took a few steps back from the door just seconds before it swung open and two guards entered my cell.

“Prisoner 387. Face the wall.” One of them ordered in a bored tone and though my heart hammered in a manner that was almost defeating, I immediately complied. I slowly raised my hands up in cooperation and turned toward the wall with a lump in my throat. “Hold out your right arm.” They instructed and I glanced over my shoulder to find them unlocking a box with a selection of bright silver wristbands inside. Though I couldn’t help peeking up at them in confusion, the crackle of a baton quickly frightened me back into place and I held out my arm silently. 

The device clicked into place loudly and as it did, something pierced my skin, causing me to yelp in panic. The guards seemed thoroughly pleased with the opportunity to injure me and I kept my mouth tightly clamped closed in an effort not to further antagonise them. Without a word of explanation, they grabbed my arm and led me out into the hall, where I could see that every cell door was open. My initial theory that I was being summoned for a well timed interview crumbled into irrelevance and I darted my gaze around the numerous prisoners that were being beaten into submission. I glanced back at the guard who had taken me from my cell questioningly, but he simply forcefully pushed me forward. My mind raced as I tried to think of a way to earn the chance for a confession, but I knew that asking the wrong guard could easily result in a lashing that I didn’t want. 

I’d never seen as many guards as flooded the prison station now and though I noticed a few people on other floors attempting to escape, I couldn’t see the point in making any drastic moves. Even without the heavily increased force, there was nowhere to run to and instead I followed the prisoners ahead of me, feeling horribly trapped by the number of uniforms surrounding us. I couldn’t see Murphy anywhere, nor Jasper and Monty, and a sense of dread began to wash over me. I couldn’t conceive of any positive reason that they would empty the entirety of lockup and I felt nauseous as I marched along in petrified silence. 

Once we exited the main cell structure of the prison station and navigated through narrow hallways, the guards began to thin out somewhat. We were herded into a single file line and I noticed that I was the last amongst the remarkably calm prisoners who seemed to have succumbed to whatever fate awaited them. My legs trembled as I walked, fearful that my opportunity to bargain may already have passed and I cursed myself for taking so long to make a decision. As we turned a corner into a long hallway with a ladder at the end, I noticed Abby standing at the side of the line of delinquents, scanning their faces as if searching for someone and the moment that her eyes landed on me, her face crumbled with relief. She rushed over to pull me into a tight embrace and I clung to her as if she were my only steadying point. When she stepped back, she kept her hands on my shoulders, as if preventing anyone from moving me as the others ahead of me continued on their voyage and I held onto her in return. I could tell from the red of her eyes that she’d been crying and this only struck a further terror into me.

“Abby, I need to speak to Kane. It’s urgent.” I hissed, rushing my words out with a sense that I didn’t have much time and she tilted her head with obvious confusion. “I’ll tell him everything, but I want a deal. I need to get out of here. You’re right, I don’t deserve to be here. Please, help me.” I blurted, my hands shaking on her and her eyes filled with tears as she viewed me with sympathy.

“Cassidy, I’m sorry but it’s too late for that. Kane isn’t going to be making deals right now. I’m afraid he’s got larger concerns than drug deals. He won’t be interested in your case any more.” She explained in a hushed voice and I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I stared at her with wide eyes. “You waited too long, sweetheart. I wish you’d just told me earlier.” She added as a single tear escaped her composure and slid down her cheek.

“But...they tortured me! They were desperate for this information. How can they just not care anymore?” I interrogated, desperate for a way to return home and she sighed deeply, leading me slightly to the side to speak in a hushed voice. 

“There are problems on the Ark, bigger than you can even imagine. What they’re doing with you all today is your best chance.” She whispered critically and I furrowed my brows at her in confusion. “They’re sending you to Earth. They think it might be survivable now and they need people to find out. That’s what the wristbands are for. We’ll be watching you through them.”  She explained and my mouth dropped open in shock.

“Earth?! But...I can’t go to Earth. My old man needs me.” I argued, hardly able to get the words out as I stared down at the wristband and felt as if my head might explode from the enormity of this information.

“I promise you, I will do everything in my power to keep your father safe, but I cannot get you out of this. It’s a direct order from the Chancellor. I’m powerless against it. They’re even sending Clarke.” She trailed off, almost breaking into tears as she spoke and I shook my head in frustration.

“What?! But she’s eighteen in a month! She’s so close to review.” I gasped and she nodded back solemnly. “This is monstrous. I can’t go. I just want to go home. I’m innocent.” I added in a small voice, feeling my eyes fill with tears as I bit my lip to contain them and she pulled me into a comforting hug. Footsteps announced the arrival of the next floor of prisoners as they began to filter into the space and I shook with terror. “I’ll look out for Clarke as much as I can. Just please...tell my Papi that I love him and...that I’m sorry. I should’ve chosen him.” I whispered, my voice trembling from the intense sorrow that I felt and as I leaned away from her, I noticed that fresh tears were flooding down her cheeks. 

“Thank you. I will take care of him. You have my word.” She confirmed and as I opened my mouth to speak again, I was forcibly pulled away from her. I glanced up at my captor to find a young guard who seemed full of enthusiasm for the task before him, staring intensely at the ladder as he marched me forward. An intense feeling of panic washed over me as I glanced back at Abby and I knew that this was my final chance to do the right thing. 

“It was Cian!” I called back and watched all of the colour drain from Abby’s face as she registered my words. “I’m sorry! I should have told you. All the interns know. I thought I was helping people!” I cried manically, dragging my feet to try to slow down the movement but he was too strong. As we came to a stop at the ladder, he indicated for me to climb and I stared back at him in desperation. “I can’t go. My old man needs me. Please!” I begged and he leaned closer to me with a sadistic smile, as the tell-tale sound of the shock baton crackled at his side. 

“Just give me a reason.” He threatened under his breath, glowering at me with a sick enjoyment and I gulped with terror. He twitched as if about to strike and I whimpered in defeat. Tears freely ran down my cheeks and I finally turned to step down onto the ladder with a feeling of pure dread. I could barely grip the bars from the clamminess of my hands and it took some substantial strain to drag my skinny figure up into the small structure above.

Behind me, more inmates were being forced to follow and as I emerged into a claustrophobic round chamber, I found several guards dragging those of us who were already inside into a variety of seats, or positions against the walls. The others were strapping themselves into harnesses with apprehensive expressions, but none of them asked any questions and in no time, the guard who had intimidated me up the ladder climbed into the room. He took my arm to lead me further into the space, past all of the nervous faces and positioned me at a harness without a seat. Without another word, he left me in the chaotic situation and I felt my hands trembling as I began to fasten up the bucked for what I knew would be a dramatic experience.

“Well, fancy seeing a babe like you here.” A familiar voice drawled and I whipped my attention upwards to find Murphy settling into place opposite me with a wry smile. The moment that I laid eyes on him, I felt some of my stress melt away and I was remarkably glad to find that he was in as much danger as I was. 

“Murphy!” I breathed in relief and his wonky smile grew into a wide grin at the sound of my voice, causing butterflies in my stomach. 

“So much for your big day. Decided not to turn them in after all?” He asked, sliding his arms through the harness whilst keeping his eyes trained on me and I felt my expression drop slightly as the reality of our situation hit me again.

“I tried. It was too late.” I grumbled quietly, feeling tears forming in my eyes again and I sniffed in an effort to contain them.

“Bummer.” He commented in a flat tone and I peeked up at him in surprise at how unsympathetic he sounded. Though he’d always been quite open about his lack of attachment, it was still strange to hear him reply to this grave situation in such a blasé manner. “Well, nobody likes a snitch. Looks like you’re stuck with me.” He added, winking at me playfully and despite knowing that I should be frustrated at how he was brushing things off, I was actually glad of his light-heartedness to break the tension that hung in the air. 

As the last of the prisoners filled seats and strapped themselves into place, the doors sealed closed loudly behind the guards and I gulped down my terror. People finally began staring at each other in confusion and as the silence gradually became too suffocating to endure, pockets of murmured conversation spread around the room. 

Without warning, the powerful sounds of the ship releasing itself from the Ark overwhelmed everything else and my stomach churned as we felt the thrusters engage, carrying us away from our home. Murphy cheered at this development, earning a few nervous chuckles in response and after a few moments, we were all shaken in our harnesses, causing panicked shouts. 

The lights flickered and there was an explosive sound that caused my heart to skip a beat as I clung to the flimsy straps that were the only thing keeping me from immediate death. Before anyone could calm the surrounding kids, a sharp ring of audio feedback deafened us all and multiple screens that I hadn’t noticed until now lit up with the face of our Chancellor. I rolled my eyes, already anticipating a speech that would only serve to irritate me. 

“Prisoners of the Ark, hear me now.” He announced and I turned away from the screen to find Murphy watching it with an expression of pure rage. “You’ve been given a second chance, and as your Chancellor, it is my hope that you see this as not just a chance for you, but a chance for all of us.” He announced diplomatically to a series of boos and Murphy cursed under his breath.

Whilst the Chancellor continued to address us as if we were his blessed delegates, I tuned out his dull voice and found that my anxiety was whirring manically in my mind. Glancing around the ship, I realised that I couldn’t see Jasper or Monty anywhere, nor Clarke, despite her mother's insistence that she would be included in this death sentence. I hoped that they were all managing this insane discovery better than I was, as I pictured my father’s reaction once he found out that I was never coming home. 

Holding up the wristband to examine it, I remembered Abby’s words that they would be able to monitor us and was glad that she would be able to relay to my father that I was at least alive. Only one question remained, how would I know that he was alright? I could hardly stand the idea that I would no longer receive his letters and promised myself that I would do everything I could to survive this: if not for myself, then for him. For now though, there were many obstacles yet to face before I could worry about long term survival.

Several people were now floating around in the chamber, much to the encouragement of the surrounding teenagers and Murphy smirked as he fiddled with his own buckles. I caught his eyes and shook my head vigorously, desperate to keep him from this unnecessary risk. Though he was visibly pleased by my concern, he continued to attempt to free himself and barely a second before the clasp was about to come loose, the parachutes deployed.

The impact sent those who were out of their seats flying across the ship, causing substantial damage to the vessel and steam poured out from some pipes that were smashed. There was another lurch and bright sparks exploded over many of the prisoners as the G force pinned us all in place. I stared at Murphy in wide eyed horror and before I could stop myself, a small scream escaped my lips.

“Cassidy, it’s fine!” He called over as he frantically forced his harness back into a secure position and I clung to the straps around me for any slight sense of reassurance. Gasping breaths wracked my chest as I battled to keep control of my terror and suddenly a full shower of sparks poured out from the centre of the chamber. Manic screaming burst out of my mouth as the lights began flickering on and off, and I was thrown around like a ragdoll as the dropship spun mercilessly.

“Stop, it’s okay!” Murphy yelled, but his voice was drowned out by the overpowering clanking sounds and cries of the others. The space filled with smoke that seeped straight into my lungs and I practically howled with panic. “Cassie!” He bellowed, finally catching my attention as the smoke that had been blocking him from view moved past us and he wasted no time in halting my hysteria. “Stop screaming!” He demanded and though his tone sounded frustrated, I could recognise clear worry in his eyes. “Enjoy the ride, Sugar!” He added with a mischievous smile, before bursting out with whooping as if he were having the time of his life, rather than falling to his death and I had to scoff at his ridiculousness.

We were bounced up and down constantly, and it was quickly becoming difficult to even tell which way up we were any longer through the chaos. The chamber was lit only by the spray of electrical components blowing up around us and though others descended into mania, the sounds of Murphy’s enthusiastic yells gave me the strength to remain calm.

With one final deafening crash, the movement ceased and we were plunged into darkness, left only with the sound of the engines powering down. People gassed with relief and several of the inmates called out to each other in the moments before the lights finally flickered back into life with a noticeable inconsistency. For a few moments, everyone was silent as we seemed to share the same expectancy that death would meet us at any given second, but eventually a comfortingly familiar voice spoke. 

“Listen! No machine hum.” Monty declared and though I craned my neck to try to find him, I couldn’t place where the voice was coming from.

“Whoa. That’s a first.” Jasper breathed with a comical enthusiasm and I was relieved to find that they were both here and safe.

A loud click announced the automatic unlock of all of our buckles and people wasted no time in rushing from their confinements, either to reunite with friends or to fight their way out of the chamber first. Murphy rapidly removed himself from his harness, then strode over to assist me out of mine.

“You good?” He enquired, furrowing his brows as he met my eyes and I nodded back uncertainty. In truth, I wasn’t sure how to answer that question, but the fact that I was still breathing was a good enough start for now. I heard Clarke’s voice fussing over some others across the ship and my breath caught in my throat with relief to find that she had thankfully survived the rough landing.

“The outer door is on the lower level. Let’s go!” An aggressive male voice yelled and Murphy glanced over his shoulder for the source, before returning his attention to me with a keen look in his eyes.

“You heard the man.” He drawled mischievously, turning to march toward the hatch. After a few steps, he realised that I wasn’t following him and paused to glance back at me. “You coming or what?” He called back and I slowly shook my head at him, uncertain about battling my way into the bustling group of teenagers. Though he was clearly hesitant to leave me, the raised voices from below were too tempting for him to resist and after a few moments of silent deliberation he shrugged, before rushing after them. 

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