#dadfoot

• Fifth year for you looked miles different to that of your brothers and your fathers had no clue how to handle it.

Growing up with only men wasn’t the hell that some of your girlfriends thought it was, but it was off putting to potential interest in boys. You were well aware how messy and lax they could be, how oblivious they were when it came to more female matters, and it wasn’t appealing. There was a time during muggle primary school that you’d found a boy cute but your brother was quick to scare him away — egged on by the background nudge of your dad. Since then, boys hadn’t really crossed your mind.

But last year, when the TriWizard Tournament took place and Durmstrang made home on Hogwarts grounds, something stirred. Looking back, they weren’t really all that cute, but tall, muscly, foreign men with thick accents were bound to make something click in anyone’s head. Of course, you weren’t the only one to notice their attractiveness, as proven by the whispered conversations by any group of girls you came across, but you were proud to say you didn’t pick one boy to be your favourite and all but claim him from the dating scene when he didn’t even know your name.

What your fathers didn’t know how to handle was your liking to famous stars, what they considered to be ‘suggestive’ muggle romance novels, and your need to gush about them. You weren’t overbearing, most of the time going back and forth with a surprisingly interested Luna Lovegood, but on the occasion that you’d come to them they’d freeze.

It was more the thought that their daughter was taking interest in boys than your want for conversation, how could you go from thinking men were so uninteresting to thinking their faces were “crafted from Merlin’s dirtiest desires” and calling them “babygirl material” so quickly?

In retrospect they found your tangents funny, or they would if you weren’t their little girl.

Harry was easier for them to deal with when he’d taken an interest in dating. Boys they were familiar with, they’d been them and they’d known them and they knew how to guide him. And Harry was sensible when it came to women, respectful and understanding, but he’d taken more of an interest in boys so there wasn’t too much to warn him off of. Your brothers exploring came during the throes of the TriWizard Tournament but you took on a more observative state than you did an explorative one.

In the beginning of fifth year you realised that big and muscly wasn’t really what you wanted from a boy. Teenagers tended to be run by appearance, social standing and magical prowess, you could understand the appeal of it but those that had all three were unappealing in the personality aspect of attraction, at least to you they were. Sadly, you’d found that out the hard way when you’d agreed to go on a date with a popular Hufflepuff and come out of it with bruised knuckles.

But nervous Gryffindor’s obsessed with Herbology? That was your type.

And you might not be a Potter, but your brother was one and every behaviour you have now is learned from your small family, why not his ability to grovel too?

• You’ve been trying for weeks to get Neville to return your feelings, nothing seems to be working.

With Neville you couldn’t be so public with your affections as Harry had been for his boyfriend, Draco Malfoy. Luckily, that worked better for you, too. You were never one for dramatic displays and magical scenes.

Neville liked soft, sweet moments and deep conversations — he liked to be heard, to be seen, and you were wonderful at noticing everything about him. He didn’t like expensive jewels and flashy gifts but he did like the Herbology books hidden in the depths of the Black library and the muggle plants you’d find in local shops. He didn’t like public confessions and loud admittances but he did like telling his deep dark secrets in the cover of the greenhouse so long as you shared yours too.

He didn’t like people pointing out his struggle in potions but he took swimmingly to you pointing him in the right direction. He got deeply embarrassed when others pointed out a stain on his shirt but he grinned so wide when you bought him a new one on your next trip to Hogsmeade — especially when he noticed that you’d taken the time to get it made by his favourite seamstress in his preferred style.

As much as he took to your advances, nothing seemed to be changing between you. Neville didn’t reciprocate the small actions you’d taken but he didn’t decline them either and you’d began to wonder if he just didn’t feel the same. The realisation was crushing, a festering feeling largening in your chest, and it had you taking solace in your fathers quarters with tear-tracked cheeks.

“I don’t get it,” You sobbed into Remus’ chest. “I’ve been trying really hard, I’ve been listening to everything he has to say carefully to make sure I don’t miss anything, I’ve been learning Herbology just to make conversation with him and he just- just doesn’t like me.”

Remus swallowed, blinking his heartache back. “You don’t need to try so hard for some boy, sweetheart. You’re perfect as you are. Sometimes boys are stupid and they don’t notice what’s right in front of them, and I would know, I’m a boy.”

You sprung up, sitting back onto your haunches. “But he’s not just some boy, Moomy! He’s Neville, he’s perfect, he’s kind and he’s sweet and he listens! And-” You paused, lips quivering with held back cries. “And I love him. I love him so much it hurts.”

His face softened, silvery scars unwrinkling. He pulled you back into his chest with a grip on your wrists, settling you back between the v of his legs. “Oh, baby, it’s okay. It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.” You gasp out. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I must be doing something wrong, Moomy, I have to be.” His arms tighten around you, a pressured hug to ground you from spiralling into anxiety’s grip.

The door creaked behind you, silent behind the pitch of your heart, but still, Remus’ head whirled at the sound, finding your brother and your second father standing under the arch. “Remus?” Sirius asked tentatively. “What’s going on? Why’s she crying?”

Remus frowned deeper, shaking his head once as he turned and buried his nose into your hair. Your cries kept on, retching from the pits of your stomach and choking the breath from you, Remus’ shirt dampened under your face and you knew it must be leaking through to his chest but he didn’t seem to mind. “Sweetheart?”

You didn’t answer. Your tears began to slow, drying along with your sobs. You noticed a third hand rubbing along the length of your back, the familiar scent of leather and spice flourishing into your nose. “Dadfoot?”

“Kitten. You doing alright?” His hand didn’t still. “Did something happen?”

“I’m in love with someone,” You whispered. His fingers paused, flexing out against your spine. “He doesn’t love me back.”

“What?” He gruffs, “Who?”

You copy Remus, you shake your head. Sirius wasn’t as restrained as Remus, he’d lost hinges in Azkaban that couldn’t be screwed back in, telling him would put a forever target on Neville’s back — you might as well paint a big red circle on the back of his head should he find out. Sirius snarls, more animal than human.

“Sirius.” Remus warns, growl underlining his own words.

Black sneers, eyes darkening under the stare of his husband. “Remus.” Their gazes don’t falter, like one scorching laser beams trained against the other, sparking crimson and crackling with tension. Sirius breaks first, glancing down at you. “Who?” He says, softer.

“Neville Longbottom.” When Harry speaks his voice is taught with all-knowing. He’s looking between the three of you like you're as mind-gone as any troll, his eyebrow raised and his lips curled. “He’s been in love with her for years.”

• After Harry’s confession, you profess your feelings to Neville.

You could always find him under the glass of the greenhouse, surrounded by vining plants with his fingers dug deep in potted soil, your search for him started and ended there. There was an open book beside him, set against one of the murky windows, and you recognised the weathered pages to be that of a book you’d given him.

The Arts of Potted Mastery by Arlen McCline. It was one of the lightest novels that the Black’s had kept in Grimmauld’s library, and you reasoned the only reason they had it was because it contained additional — vital — information pertaining to a particularly testy flesh-eating plant grown in the Amazon’s depths. You’d warned Neville to not go flaunting his possession of it, lest he want to attract the possessive eyes of other purebloods.

His hands slid from the dirt when you called his name and you glimpsed the remnants embedded under the crescent of his nails and staining his palms when he turned to you. “Y/n.” He grinned.

You smiled back, stepping over his satchel to grab his dirt caked hands and brush the larger clumps to the ground. “Hi. What’re you working on?”

“It’s pretty simple, just some second year stuff that I wanted to try potting myself.” He shrugged, looking down at you with furrowed brows.

“There’s second year stuff in that book?” Neville nods. “What is it?”

“A Puffapod.”

“You planted Puffapod’s in second year?”

“Not exactly,” He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “Nan bought me some at the end of second year to plant with her over the summer but you know how she is, she doesn’t like when I do the touching.”

“Yeah,” You scoff. “I’m well aware.”

“Well aware?” He flinched back. “What’s that mean?”

“Nothing, nothing.” You shake your head, cutting a hand through the air. Neville raises a brow at you, calling your bullshit. “It’s just–” You sigh, looking at the half-full pot beside you. “I just don’t like how she underestimates you all the time. You’re good at what you do, Nev, you’re good with plants. I think people could be more appreciative of you.”

Everything is silent for a long minute and when you look back at him, his eyes are trailing the slope of your face with a look you could never before place; now that Harry’s tipped the pot though, you knew it all too well — he was admiring you.

“You appreciate me.” He whispers, swallowing roughly.

A dirt tracked hand raises to the apple of your cheek, you steady yourself for the touch, your cheeks reddening, but he hesitates before dropping his arm.

Your fingers wrap the span of his wrist just barely when you grab it, shuffling your feet so close your shoes touch. “Always.”

His breath catches in his chest. He chokes out a strangled noise, chin tilting closer to his chest to keep the contact between you. Your eyes flicker to his lips, the plump shine of them enticing you onto the tips of your toes.

“Neville?”

Neville hums, a rumble through his chest that vibrates through you.

“There’s something I have to tell you.” His head inclines to the side, an anxious puppy dog gesture he always does when he’s anticipating bad news. You’re quick to try and placate him.

“It’s nothing bad, at least I don’t think it is.” You frown. “I just- I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but things have changed over the last few months. At least, for me they have. And yesterday, I had this whole…breakdown? I don’t know, but Harry spilled that you might fancy me and I- I guess–”

His cheeks flame. His breath quickens to an unnatural pace, he steps back, wriggling his wrist in your grasp. “He what?”

“Nev?” You ask smally. He ignores you, too wrapped up in panicking to really hear you. “Neville?”

“I’m sorry he said that. He didn’t mean it, he was being stupid. You didn’t need to know that. You shouldn’t know that. We’re friends. We’re good as friends. I mean sure, I’ve always thought you were really pretty, really lovely, but you don’t like me. And now things are going to be all awkward. I’m so sorry, Y/n. Really, I am.”

“Neville.” You try to placate. “It’s okay.”

“No. No, it’s not. You deserve better than me lying to you.” His breath shutters.

“Nev, I wanted to tell you that I fancied you, too.” You blurt, grasping onto the hunch of his shoulders.

“I’m so sorr-” He stops, looking at you with wide, crazed eyes, and stares through you. “Oh. What? No!” You see the grief flash through him, inflaming his forest eyes and furrowing his face.

“Yes.” You counter with a scoff. “I fancy you. I fancy you, a lot. And, if you’d do me the honour, I’d like it if you went on a date with me.”

“Oh.” Neville’s voice cracked in a squeak. “Yeah. Yes. Sure. I mean, I’d be delighted. Truly.” You grin.

• You asked him on a date but Neville’s more romantic than you anticipated and he’s planned it before you could even try.

If you were being honest with yourself, you’d have taken Neville where all your peers took their dates, a ruddy bar packed full of too loud men and music or a too sweet cafe filled with superficial witches — maybe you’d have drug him between the shops of Hogsmeade, hoping he’d find something he liked, and made filler conversations between that. It wouldn’t have been much, but you’d never thought ahead of the chance he’d say yes, so it would have been something; it would have been a start.

But Neville had bigger, greater plans than that.

He’d asked for the greenhouse for two hours, reserved it with Madam Pomfrey a week in advance, before visiting the kitchens through the passageway you’d shown him. The house elves reserved there were surprisingly stingy with the food they gave him, handing along the woven basket with stern stares and sideway glances, but he’d gotten over it when he’d seen people rushing off to the Great Hall, ready to pile their plates high with the food lining the tables and figured they hadn’t wanted him to spoil his dinner.

He knew taking you to the greenhouse wasn’t so special as some fancy diner, that laying a blanket on the muddied floor wasn’t original at all, but the greenhouse was where most of your dearest memories together were created and it had more sentimental value to the two of the any other place yet.

He’d thought and thought and overthought some more about whether it was good enough for you, he’d ran himself into a rapidfire panic three nights in a row before the day came, but all the anxiety in the world was worth it when you walked through the keep, smiling and fiddling with your sleeve.

“Hi.” You said, meekly.

Neville stared. The evening sun reflected in golden beams off you, kaleidoscoping through the bubbled panes above and haloing the outline of your body, the ivory dress you’d worn flourished around your hips and cuffed around your wrists — he remembers it being the same one you’d gushed over for days, for all its pockets and its charm. The longer he looked at you, the more the thought surfaced, and the only thing he knew you were missing were large, feathered wings mounting your back.

“Hi, Angel.” He hadn’t meant to say it, but he’d been thinking it since first year and you deserved to know how otherworldly you always looked, if only through a pet name. You flushed through to the tips of your ears. “I’m sorry it was such short notice. I just thought we should take this in before the rain starts up again.” He nodded to the sun.

“That’s okay.” You sat across from him. “Though, I thought I was planning this date? I did ask you, after all.” You teased.

“Nan lettered. Told me it was my duty to court you, not the other way around, especially because your dads a Black. I know you don’t usually abide by pureblood rules but she insisted, and I know you hate planning things.”

“You’re right, I do hate planning things,” You nodded, stomach fluttering. “But on the contrary, I’d have planned this gleefully. No matter how bad it’d have turned out.” Him taking over meant more than just that, he was anxious enough for three people and you know it must’ve sucked getting it done; he did it anyway, for you.

Neville snickered. “You should give yourself more credit. Don’t you remember the big drop of ‘93?”

You gasped, scandalised. “Mister Longbottom! I thought we agreed to never ever speak of that again!”

“Miss Lupin! If you didn’t want to speak of it, you shouldn’t have dropped it!”

The two of you stayed silent, glaring between each other with narrowed gazes. He cracked first, lips twitching open to bare a grin, you followed, giggling. The nerves you’d walked in with had gone, dissipated into that familiar warmth and comfort that Neville always gave you. You’d been lucky enough to realise what that feeling meant this year, instead of brushing it off to that same friendship feeling. When Neville planned the date, and sent you a letter with a suggested time and place, you knew your gut had picked right.

The two of you spent hours giggling and sharing food and telling tall tales of your childhood that somehow sounded real and not all at once. You made a game of guessing between each story; Neville won: 5:3. Along the line he pulled over a pot of daisies, muggle flowers he’d planted for you in secret when you’d sent him some chained together over the holidays, and made another game of naming each one.

• Neville tells you he loves you; you cry.

You’d been together for five months and the honeymoon phase was finally settling into a more domestic comfortability. Your relationship had flourished rather slowly considering you’d both liked each other beforehand, but your anxieties had finally begun to diminish and your affection towards each other was becoming less calculated.

Remus had bought a chocolate cake for the two of you to share when you told him you’d confessed with the words “I’m so proud of you” iced atop; it was a little joke on his part but one you both thoroughly enjoyed. His treatment of Neville hadn’t changed at all, except for maybe a kinder smile thrown his way during his classes, but Sirius took it a little more seriously and had tried the “hurt her and watch what happens” talk before you’d put a stop to it. You loved your dadfoot, but he could be a bit much, especially to your boyfriend — Merlin, you loved saying that — who was fragile at heart.

You’d only started venturing to Neville’s dorm a few weeks back, which Harry had at first side-eyed before realising the most you did was cuddle — he gagged, but you were more comfortable there than you had ever been anywhere else. Neville kept his space relatively clean with only a few loose papers smattered and spilled ink staining his desk, but the sheets of his bed smelled so like him that you were prepared to suffocate inhaling them.

Your boyfriend smelt like the wispy, airy scent of an earthy cologne that was always underlined by something so incredibly him, and something you could never quite get out of your nose — not that you’d ever want too. You’d begun to collect the shirts he wore, switching them out every couple days to keep their scent fresh and using them at night to sleep better, Neville just about combusted when he saw you in one.

Now, you were lay in his bed, leg hiked over his hip with your head on his chest and wearing one of his comfier shirts. The dorm was otherwise empty, the other boys gone to the after party of a victorious quidditch season; the music vibrated up through the common room, loud jeers leaking muffled through the gap under the door.

“Nev,” You spoke. “Did I ever tell you how much I love how you smell? ‘Cause I do.”

The breaths he took were even under you, rising and falling in a steady pattern, and your head followed as he chortled lightly. “Yeah, you have.” His thumb strokes along your arm. “But you smell much better.”

You move to rest your chin against his breastbone, “I do?” Neville hums. “What do I smell like?”

His eyes meet yours, the emerald depths piercing through yours with a heart-stuttering suddenness. He takes a minute to think, looking over the curve of your face with a gentleness. “Honestly?” He swallows.

You furrow your eyebrows. “Yeah?”

He takes a breath, one that you feel catch in his chest and bob his throat, “Like… like Amortentia.” He says tentatively. “I- I just– Professor Snape had it made for seventh years and there was a vial left on my desk, I knocked it over. It- it smelt amazing, like mum’s perfume and dad’s robes and… and you.”

You can’t do anything but stare at his flushed cheeks. Amortentia. The love potion. Neville smelt you in the love potion. Did that mean he loved you? Were you looking too deep into it? Surely, he thought it was too soon to love you, surely he needed more time to love you.

“Y/n? I’m sorry. It’s too soon, I’m sorry. So sorry. I should’ve just shut my mouth. I’m so stupid. I’m really sorry.” He gently manoeuvres you off of him, guiding your leg to the red duvet and moving your torso back to the mattress so he can sit up, create distances between you. Your head lands against the plush of his pillow, sinking into the cloud of it, and it’s his gentle manhandling that forces you back into the throes.

“No.” You spring up, grasping onto the muscle of his shoulder. “Nev, no, it’s not too soon. It’s not. I– I don’t know what you're trying to say but it’s never too soon.”

When he turns to you the flush of his cheeks has spread down his neck and dusted his ears, his eyes are wide and crazed — like when you’d confessed; he’s beautiful, more tempting than the allure of a Veela could ever hope to be. But he’s panicking and his breath grows ragged as he spits the words, he’s not being mean, not intentionally, but anxiety has a funny way of making people act differently.

His panic makes your eyes well over, clouding with panicked sorrow of their own. There’s a dam waiting to break as his lip quivers, cracking in the corners of your eyes and ready to drown trails down your cheeks.

“I love you.”

You sob. Neville scoots closer to you, gripping the fat of your thigh. “I’ve loved you for a long, long time and you– you’re just so sweet, and lovely, and perfect, and you do everything right, all the time. You could burn the world and I’d praise you for it because you’d have done it perfectly. I watched you be sorted and I knew I was done for; you looked like an angel, my angel. I love you.” He takes a breath. “You don’t have to say it back, I just needed you to know.”

The emotion swirls in your chest, you don’t know what it is, you can’t place it, it takes your breath and collects in your throat and you don’t know it, but you know what to say. “I love you, too. So much it hurts.” Your voice breaks through it, a cry caught in your throat.

“Oh.” It’s becoming his go to response with you, you seem to always know how to render him speechless.

~ 𐀔 ~ △⃒⃘ ~ 𐀔 ~